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Ranking the ‘Alien’ Movies in a Way That Will Make Everyone Angry

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Full disclaimer, this article is 100% biased, and you are fully invited to fight over this ranking of the Alien movies on social media!

The best alien movie is Alien (1979).

Ridley Scott’s Alien is one of the greatest, most iconic movies of all time, and several key elements make Alien so timeless. 

First, Swiss artist H.R. Giger’s design of the Xenomorph purposely melds phallic and yonic imagery to create a terrifying creature that can impregnate basically anyone. The very concept of motherhood is divorced from gender all throughout the movie, which gives Alien a unique flavor of body horror while also subverting gender. 

Second, though the story is set far into the future, the technology available to these characters does not save them. In fact, the tech often endangers them. Their weapons are useless, and the ship often provides convenient hiding spots for the xenomorph. 

Finally, though the xenomorph is indeed very scary, the true terror of Alien lies in the infinite greed of Weyland Industries, the corporation that sends the ship off course in the first place. The crew is betrayed by their own computer (named “Mother”) and a fellow crewmate. The nightmare of Alien is that even if they survive the xenomorph, they don’t have a home to go back to. They have been sacrificed.

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The 2nd best alien movie is Alien Resurrection (1997).

The 4th alien movie, Alien Resurrection (directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet) is, from a thematic standpoint, the second-best Alien movie out there. PLEASE HEAR ME OUT. Putting aside the incredibly campy performances, the very dated Dutch angles, and the wildly oversaturated colors, Alien Resurrection picks up many of the threads laid out in Alien. The greedy corporation is now a greedy government – they do insane shit with xenomorph DNA in their unending quest to weaponize the lifeform. Their technology fails to contain the xenomorphs in spectacular ways, and the ship turns into an incubator for hundreds of newborn face huggers.

Ripley is not quite human anymore, and she teams up with a gang of outlaw misfits as they all fight to survive. She shamelessly flirts with Winona Rider’s character Call (who is also not-quite human), and in the aftermath of the film’s events, the two are left to make a life of their own. The visceral nightmare of motherhood, especially the non-consensual kind, is at the heart of this story. Ripely expresses palpable anger at the system that co-opts her body in order to breed violence, which feels strangely relatable 25 years later. Alien Resurrection culminates around Ripley’s struggle to control a very violent, very slimy lifeform. It’s chaotic, it’s brutal, and it’s very, very gooey. 

The 3rd best alien movie is Alien3 (1992) – specifically The Assembly Cut.

David Fincher famously disowned Alien3, and who could blame him? The production was cursed long before the first-time director signed on. The Assembly Cut, released on DVD alongside the theatrical cut, is supposedly a better representation of Fincher’s intent, but mainly it just includes important context to the strange prison planet on which the 3rd installment is set. Alien3 is a difficult watch. Its pacing is a mess, and there’s a pervasive threat of sexual violence throughout the first half that I think no one needs to experience. The fluid gender dynamics in Alien and Resurrection are absent.

Instead, we get a very binary situation where Ripley is specifically a woman, and it’s specifically her womanness that puts her in danger. This particular gang of misfits aren’t exactly sympathetic, which makes it difficult to care when they die. However, the abandoned prison colony setting does fit with the institutional violence present in the other Alien movies, and the lack of modern weapons and technology poses a unique challenge for the characters that the franchise sadly never revisits. The film’s final act is dark and intense. The ending gives us one last taste of cruelty from Weyland Industries, which pushes Ripley to reject motherhood in a very metal way. Alien3 is messy, but it tries.

The 4th best alien movie is Aliens (1986).

There are so many rich themes, motifs, and details that Ridley Scott sets up in 1979. There’s a genderfucked alien species and a genderless crew, an ominous all-powerful corporation, and a bunch of useless tech and weapons. But what does James Cameron do with these things in Aliens? NOTHING. Ripely is no longer a genderless crewmember, she’s a grieving mother (the only way to flesh out a female character, I guess?) who immediately bonds with a lost, traumatized child. Cameron introduces a queen xenomorph, making the characters specify that she is female. Cyborgs aren’t scary weapons anymore who sabotage on behalf of the corporation, they’re nice and helpful!

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There are lots of weapons, lots of bullets, lots of flamethrowers, and they sort of work! In fact, Ripley uses a machine at the end to fight off the queen xenomorph, setting up a literal Mom (Ripley) versus Bitch (the queen) fight, which feels so antithetical to the agender vibes of Alien. In Aliens, the prevailing source of tension comes from the battle between humans and xenomorphs instead of the oppressive weight of Weyland Industries. And though the corporation is ultimately revealed to be up to no good, we go into the movie expecting them to be shady, which takes the sting out of the film’s final twist. 

Compared to the deep, ominous shadows of Alien, the sepia-toned desolation of Alien3, or the green, gooey chaos of Resurrection, the aesthetics of Aliens feel empty and clinical. Many entries in the Alien franchise stray from the original blueprint (how do you think Prometheus or Covenant compare? Or the AvP movies?), but it’s Aliens that fundamentally misunderstands everything that makes Alien so iconic.

Eli is based in Montreal and writes about indie and horror movies under the name Bad Critic. She is a Pisces.

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‘Ready or Not’ and the Cathartic Cigarette of a Relatable Final Girl

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I was late to the Radio Silence party. However, I do not let that stop me from being one of the loudest people at the function now. I randomly decided to see Ready or Not in theaters one afternoon in 2019 and walked out a better person for it. The movie introduced me to the work of a team that would become some of my favorite current filmmakers. It also confirmed that getting married is the worst thing one can do. That felt very validating as someone who doesn’t buy into the needing to be married to be complete narrative.

Ready or Not is about a fucked up family with a fucked up tradition. The unassuming Grace (Samara Weaving) thinks her new in-laws are a bit weird. However, she’s blinded by love on her wedding day. She would never suspect that her groom, Alex (Mark O’Brien), would lead her into a deadly wedding night. So, she heads downstairs to play a game with the family, not knowing that they will be hunting her this evening. This is one of the many ways I am different from Grace. I watch enough of the news to know the husband should be the prime suspect, and I have been around long enough to know men are the worst. I also have a commitment phobia, so the idea of walking down the aisle gives me anxiety. 

Grace Under Fire

Ready or Not is a horror comedy set on a wealthy family’s estate that got overshadowed by Knives Out. I have gone on record multiple times saying it’s the better movie. Sadly, because it has fewer actors who are household names, people are not ready to have that conversation. However, I’m taking up space this month to talk about catharsis, so let me get back on track. One of the many ways this movie is better than the latter is because of that sweet catharsis awaiting us at the end.

This movie puts Grace through it and then some. Weaving easily makes her one of the easiest final girls to root for over a decade too. From finding out the man she loves has betrayed her, to having to fight off the in-laws trying to kill her, as she is suddenly forced to fight to survive her wedding night. No one can say that Grace doesn’t earn that cigarette at the end of the film. As she sits on the stairs covered in the blood of what was supposed to be her new family, she is a relatable icon. As the unseen cop asks what happened to her, she simply says,In-laws.It’s a quick laugh before the credits roll, andLove Me Tenderby Stereo Jane makes us dance and giggle in our seats. 

Ready or Not Proves That Maybe She’s Better Off Alone

It is also a moment in which Grace is one of many women who survives marriage. She comes out of the other side beaten but not broken. Grace finally put herself, and her needs first, and can breathe again in a way she hasn’t since saying I do. She fought kids, her parents-in-law, and even her husband to escape with her life. She refused to be a victim, and with that cigarette, she is finally free and safe. Grace is back to being single, and that’s clearly for the best.

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This Guy Busick and R. Christopher Murphy script is funny on the surface, even before you start digging into the subtext. The fact that Ready or Not is a movie where the happy ending is a woman being left alone is not wasted on me, though. While Grace thought being married would make her happy, she now has physical and emotional wounds to remind her that it’s okay to be alone. 

One of the things I love about this current era of Radio Silence films is that the women in these projects are not the perfect victims. Whether it’s Ready or Not, Abigail, or Scream (2022), or Scream VI, the girls are fighting. They want to live, they are smart and resourceful, and they know that no one is coming to help them. That’s why I get excited whenever I see Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett’s names appear next to a Guy Busick co-written script. Those three have cracked the code to give us women protagonists that are badasses, and often more dangerous than their would-be killers when push comes to shove. 

Ready or Not Proves That Commitment is Scarier Than Death

So, watching Grace run around this creepy family’s estate in her wedding dress is a vision. It’s also very much the opposite of what we expect when we see a bride. Wedding days are supposed to be champagne, friends, family, and trying to buy into the societal notion that being married is what we’re supposed to aspire to as AFABs. They start programming us pretty early that we have to learn to cook to feed future husbands and children.

The traditions of being given away by our fathers, and taking our husbands’ last name, are outdated patriarchal nonsense. Let’s not even get started on how some guys still ask for a woman’s father’s permission to propose. These practices tell us that we are not real people so much as pawns men pass off to each other. These are things that cause me to hyperventilate a little when people try to talk to me about settling down.

Marriage Ain’t For Everybody

I have a lot of beef with marriage propaganda. That’s why Ready or Not speaks to me on a bunch of levels that I find surprising and fresh. Most movies would have forced Grace and Alex to make up at the end to continue selling the idea that heterosexual romance is always the answer. Even in horror, the concept that “love will save the day” is shoved at us (glares at The Conjuring Universe). So, it’s cool to see a movie that understands women can be enough on their own. We don’t need a man to complete us, and most of the time, men do lead to more problems. While I am no longer a part-time smoker, I find myself inhaling and exhaling as Grace takes that puff at the end of the film. As a woman who loves being alone, it’s awesome to be seen this way. 

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Ready or Note cigarette

The Cigarette of Singledom

We don’t need movies to validate our life choices. However, it’s nice to be acknowledged every so often. If for no other reason than to break up the routine. I’m so tired of seeing movies that feel like a guy and a girl making it work, no matter the odds, is admirable. Sometimes people are better when they separate, and sometimes divorce saves lives. So, I salute Grace and her cathartic cigarette at the end of her bloody ordeal.

I cannot wait to see what single shenanigans she gets into in Ready or Not 2: Here I Come. I personally hope she inherited that money from the dead in-laws who tried her. She deserves to live her best single girl life on a beach somewhere. Grace’s marriage was a short one, but she learned a lot. She survived it, came out the other side stronger, richer, and knowing that marriage isn’t for everybody.

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The Best Horror You Can Stream on Shudder in January 2026

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My New Year’s resolution is to spend more time watching my favorite app. Luckily, Shudder is not taking it easy on us this holiday season, so I may meet my quota this January. The streamer is bringing in the new year with quite a few bangers. We have classics from icons, a new title from the first family of indie horror, and a couple of lesser-known films that have finally found a home. So, I am obviously living for this month’s programming and think most of you will too. I have picked the five films that I believe deserve our collective attention the most. Get into each of them and start your 2026 off on the right foot. 

The Best Movies to Stream on Shudder This Month

Carrie (1976)

A sheltered teen finally unleashes her telekinetic powers after being humiliated for the last time. Carrie is the reason I thought proms might be cool when I was a kid. This Brian De Palma adaptation is one of my favorite Stephen King adaptations. It is also an important title in the good-for-her subgenre. I cannot help rooting for Carrie White (Sissy Spacek) when I watch her snap at this prom and then head home to accidentally deal with her mom. The only tragedy of this evening is that Carrie had to die, too. I said what I said, and I will be hitting play again while it is on Shudder. This recommendation goes out to the other recovering sheltered girls who would be the problem if they had powers. I see you because I am you.

You can watch Carrie on January 1st.

Marshmallow (2025)

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A shy 12-year-old gets sent to summer camp and finds himself in a living nightmare. While Marshmallow did not land for me, I know plenty of people who love it. Which makes this the perfect addition to the Shudder catalogue. I am actually excited to see more folks fall in love with this movie when it hits the streamer. If nothing else, it will help a few folks cross off another 2025 title if they are still playing catch-up with last year’s movies. It also gets cool points from me for not taking the easy route with the mystery it built. I hope you all dig it more than I did, and tell your friends about it. Perhaps you could even encourage them to sign up for the app.

You can watch Marshmallow on January 1st.

Chain Reactions (2024)

Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre cemented his horror legacy over fifty years ago. So, it is long overdue for a documentary where horror royalty can discuss its impact on them and their careers. I have been waiting for a couple of years to hear Karyn Kusama and Takashi Miike talk about Hooper’s work and how he inspired them. So, I am super geeked that Shudder is finally giving me the chance to see this film. The streamer is also helping the nerds out by adding The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre 2 (1986) this month. If you are also an overachieving couch potato, I will see you at the finish line next week.

You can watch Chain Reactions on January 9th.

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In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

An insurance investigator discovers the impact a horror writer’s books have on people. I love chaos, and John Carpenter chaos happens to be one of my favorite kinds of chaos. While we talk about The Thing and Halloween all the time, this maestro has given us plenty of horror to celebrate. In the Mouth of Madness is very much one of those titles vying for a top spot among the best of his filmography. To sweeten the batshit pot, this movie features Sam Neill. You know that he only shows up in our genre if the movie is going to be legendary. You cannot tell me this is not a Shudder priority this month.

You can watch In the Mouth of Madness on January 10th.

Mother of Flies (2025)

A terminally ill young woman and her dad head to the woods to seek out a recluse who claims she can cure her cancer. The Adams Family has been holding court on Shudder for years, so it feels right that Mother of Flies is a Shudder Original. More importantly, this fest favorite has one of the best performances of 2025. Which makes it a great time for people to finally get to see it and get in line to give Toby Poser her flowers. Whatever you think your favorite Poser role is, it is about to change when you see her as Solveig. I am being serious when I say that this movie might be the first family of indie horror at their best.

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You can watch Mother of Flies on January 23rd.

New year, but same Shudder. I would not want to go into 2026 any other way, personally. I hope these horrific recommendations bring you the good kind of anxiety.  Or at least distract you from the state of the world for a bit.

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