Movies
Bloody Hearts & Sweethearts: Your Y2K Valentine’s Day Watchlist
This Valentine’s Day, let’s travel back in time. Pick up any of these tapes from your local Blockbuster or Hollywood Video and cozy up with a date! Here is your curated Y2K Valentine’s Day watchlist.
Picture it: America, 1999 to 2001. Squeaky inflatable furniture and the whir of desktop computers filled our homes. Misogyny erupted in flames at Woodstock ‘99. Fear of computers crashing and planes falling out of the sky on New Years Eve was omnipresent. And teenage pop culture was becoming saturated with J-14 and Bop magazine triple threats. This mix of fear, anxiety, and raging hormones during the Y2K era provided horror with some much needed acidity. And coincidentally, the most notable ones all revolved around love, heartbreak, and lust!
This Valentine’s Day, let’s travel back in time. Pick up any of these tapes from your local Blockbuster or Hollywood Video and cozy up with a date! Here is your curated Y2K Valentine’s Day watchlist:
Lover’s Lane (2000)
13 years ago on Valentine’s Day, a maniac with a hook for a hand escapes from the local mental hospital and goes on a killing spree at Lover’s Lane, the town’s makeout-central. Teens think it is just an urban legend, until the murders begin. Directed by Jon Steven Ward, straight-to-video Lover’s Lane is actually a lot of fun, despite ripping off films like Halloween (1978) and I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997). The film is choc-a-bloc with Y2K fashion (hello, butterfly clips!), and the protagonist is a Nick Carter (Backstreet Boys) lookalike with bleached blonde ends, played by Riley Smith. Anna Faris is a natural stand-out as Jannelle in her first ever feature film role. Questionable dialogue and a brazen move by the town’s most popular girl resulted in bad aging, but The Worst Wig in Horror History slightly makes up for it. Giggle at the stupidity!
Lover’s Lane is available for rent on YouTube and Prime, and can be purchased on Blu-ray and DVD.
Cherry Falls (1999)
“Holy Hymans, Batman! They’re killing virgins!”
Directed by Geoffrey Wright and released by Rogue Pictures, Cherry Falls is bonkers. The film opens with a teenage couple being stabbed to death in their car by a leather-clad woman with long dark hair obscuring her face. The town’s sheriff (and father to the protagonist) and his investigators discover that each female victim has “VIRGIN” carved into their skin. Fearful for their lives, Cherry Fall’s teens, who appear to shop exclusively at J. Crew and the Gap and belong in a Starbucks rather than high school, seek out ways to lose their virginities. Rape and slut-shaming jokes are abundant, giving young viewers a peek into just how problematic the early-2000s were. Nihilistic, incredibly beige, and sour, Cherry Falls is not for anyone looking for levity. Thank god for Brittany Murphy (Jodie Markin) and her twink best friend! Hang on for the ride and be rewarded with a nasty twist.
Cherry Falls is available for rent on several services (free with AMC+) and can be purchased on Blu-ray, DVD, and VHS.
The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)
The Rage: Carrie 2 is misunderstood. Sure, it doesn’t hold a candle to the original. But this second installment overflows with teenage angst, and thankfully, offers something different for those bored with the late-1990s Scream formula. Directed by Katt Shea (Poison Ivy) and written by Rafael Moreu (Hackers), The Rage follows a new telekinetic teen: Rachel, played by Emily Bergl. Rachel deals with bullying, the death of her best friend (Mena Suvari), homophobia, and love amidst the growth of her telekinetic powers. According to Fangoria (2021), “Before it was The Rage: Carrie 2, it was The Curse, an angry, impassioned reaction to a real-life incident. In 1993, a group of high school boys from Lakewood, California, known as the Spur Posse, engaged in a series of heinous acts of sexual violence, including the boys’ use of a point system to compare their sexual exploits.” Despite this dark subject matter, The Rage is a sympathetic story. I believe it to be a worthy sequel to De Palma’s masterpiece. And what a cathartic climax!
The Rage: Carrie 2 is available for streaming on several services and can be purchased on Blu-ray, DVD, and VHS.
Idle Hands (1999)
Idle hands are the Devil’s play-things.
Light up with your crush and dive into the madcap Idle Hands! It has been several days since Anton’s parents have gone missing, unbeknownst to the lazy stoner. Anton, played by teen heartthrob Devon Sawa, soon discovers it was he, specifically his hand, that has become possessed and murderous. Watch as Anton and his grotesquely undead friends try to reign in the demonic hand as he pines for the cute girl-next-door, Molly (Jessica Alba). Directed by Rodman Flender (Leprechaun 2) and also starring Vivica A. Fox and Seth Green, this horror comedy with a killer soundtrack is sure to be a sweet treat this Valentine’s Day.
Idle Hands is available for rent on several services and can be purchased on Blu-ray, DVD, and VHS.
Valentine (2001)
Valentine opens with Jeremy Melton, a nerdy boy who is humiliated and beaten by his classmates at a junior high Valentine’s Day dance. After being wrongly accused of sexual assault, the boy is sent to a state-run mental facility. The bullies and bystanders must reckon with their pasts when they begin receiving threatening Valentine’s Day cards and being systematically killed by an assailant in a cherubic Cupid mask. Directed by Jamie Blanks (Urban Legend), Valentine is a typical post-Scream slasher but with an incredibly stacked cast: David Boreanaz (Buffy, the Vampire Slayer; Angel), Denise Richards (Wild Things, Drop Dead Gorgeous), Katherine Heigl (Bride of Chucky, Roswell), Mary Shelton (Sugar & Spice, Scream 4), and Jessica Cauffiel (Legally Blonde, Urban Legends: Final Cut). Like Idle Hands, expect some gritty 2000s nu metal throughout. Valentine will surely inspire you to make your own sweet (or sour) Valentine’s Day cards this year!
Valentine is available for rent on several services and can be purchased on Blu-ray, DVD, and VHS.
Editorials
‘Ready or Not’ and the Cathartic Cigarette of a Relatable Final Girl
I was late to the Radio Silence party. However, I do not let that stop me from being one of the loudest people at the function now. I randomly decided to see Ready or Not in theaters one afternoon in 2019 and walked out a better person for it. The movie introduced me to the work of a team that would become some of my favorite current filmmakers. It also confirmed that getting married is the worst thing one can do. That felt very validating as someone who doesn’t buy into the needing to be married to be complete narrative.
Ready or Not is about a fucked up family with a fucked up tradition. The unassuming Grace (Samara Weaving) thinks her new in-laws are a bit weird. However, she’s blinded by love on her wedding day. She would never suspect that her groom, Alex (Mark O’Brien), would lead her into a deadly wedding night. So, she heads downstairs to play a game with the family, not knowing that they will be hunting her this evening. This is one of the many ways I am different from Grace. I watch enough of the news to know the husband should be the prime suspect, and I have been around long enough to know men are the worst. I also have a commitment phobia, so the idea of walking down the aisle gives me anxiety.
Grace Under Fire
Ready or Not is a horror comedy set on a wealthy family’s estate that got overshadowed by Knives Out. I have gone on record multiple times saying it’s the better movie. Sadly, because it has fewer actors who are household names, people are not ready to have that conversation. However, I’m taking up space this month to talk about catharsis, so let me get back on track. One of the many ways this movie is better than the latter is because of that sweet catharsis awaiting us at the end.
This movie puts Grace through it and then some. Weaving easily makes her one of the easiest final girls to root for over a decade too. From finding out the man she loves has betrayed her, to having to fight off the in-laws trying to kill her, as she is suddenly forced to fight to survive her wedding night. No one can say that Grace doesn’t earn that cigarette at the end of the film. As she sits on the stairs covered in the blood of what was supposed to be her new family, she is a relatable icon. As the unseen cop asks what happened to her, she simply says, “In-laws.” It’s a quick laugh before the credits roll, and “Love Me Tender” by Stereo Jane makes us dance and giggle in our seats.
Ready or Not Proves That Maybe She’s Better Off Alone
It is also a moment in which Grace is one of many women who survives marriage. She comes out of the other side beaten but not broken. Grace finally put herself, and her needs first, and can breathe again in a way she hasn’t since saying I do. She fought kids, her parents-in-law, and even her husband to escape with her life. She refused to be a victim, and with that cigarette, she is finally free and safe. Grace is back to being single, and that’s clearly for the best.
This Guy Busick and R. Christopher Murphy script is funny on the surface, even before you start digging into the subtext. The fact that Ready or Not is a movie where the happy ending is a woman being left alone is not wasted on me, though. While Grace thought being married would make her happy, she now has physical and emotional wounds to remind her that it’s okay to be alone.
One of the things I love about this current era of Radio Silence films is that the women in these projects are not the perfect victims. Whether it’s Ready or Not, Abigail, or Scream (2022), or Scream VI, the girls are fighting. They want to live, they are smart and resourceful, and they know that no one is coming to help them. That’s why I get excited whenever I see Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett’s names appear next to a Guy Busick co-written script. Those three have cracked the code to give us women protagonists that are badasses, and often more dangerous than their would-be killers when push comes to shove.
Ready or Not Proves That Commitment is Scarier Than Death
So, watching Grace run around this creepy family’s estate in her wedding dress is a vision. It’s also very much the opposite of what we expect when we see a bride. Wedding days are supposed to be champagne, friends, family, and trying to buy into the societal notion that being married is what we’re supposed to aspire to as AFABs. They start programming us pretty early that we have to learn to cook to feed future husbands and children.
The traditions of being given away by our fathers, and taking our husbands’ last name, are outdated patriarchal nonsense. Let’s not even get started on how some guys still ask for a woman’s father’s permission to propose. These practices tell us that we are not real people so much as pawns men pass off to each other. These are things that cause me to hyperventilate a little when people try to talk to me about settling down.
Marriage Ain’t For Everybody
I have a lot of beef with marriage propaganda. That’s why Ready or Not speaks to me on a bunch of levels that I find surprising and fresh. Most movies would have forced Grace and Alex to make up at the end to continue selling the idea that heterosexual romance is always the answer. Even in horror, the concept that “love will save the day” is shoved at us (glares at The Conjuring Universe). So, it’s cool to see a movie that understands women can be enough on their own. We don’t need a man to complete us, and most of the time, men do lead to more problems. While I am no longer a part-time smoker, I find myself inhaling and exhaling as Grace takes that puff at the end of the film. As a woman who loves being alone, it’s awesome to be seen this way.
The Cigarette of Singledom
We don’t need movies to validate our life choices. However, it’s nice to be acknowledged every so often. If for no other reason than to break up the routine. I’m so tired of seeing movies that feel like a guy and a girl making it work, no matter the odds, is admirable. Sometimes people are better when they separate, and sometimes divorce saves lives. So, I salute Grace and her cathartic cigarette at the end of her bloody ordeal.
I cannot wait to see what single shenanigans she gets into in Ready or Not 2: Here I Come. I personally hope she inherited that money from the dead in-laws who tried her. She deserves to live her best single girl life on a beach somewhere. Grace’s marriage was a short one, but she learned a lot. She survived it, came out the other side stronger, richer, and knowing that marriage isn’t for everybody.
Movies
The Best Horror You Can Stream on Shudder in January 2026
My New Year’s resolution is to spend more time watching my favorite app. Luckily, Shudder is not taking it easy on us this holiday season, so I may meet my quota this January. The streamer is bringing in the new year with quite a few bangers. We have classics from icons, a new title from the first family of indie horror, and a couple of lesser-known films that have finally found a home. So, I am obviously living for this month’s programming and think most of you will too. I have picked the five films that I believe deserve our collective attention the most. Get into each of them and start your 2026 off on the right foot.
The Best Movies to Stream on Shudder This Month
Carrie (1976)
A sheltered teen finally unleashes her telekinetic powers after being humiliated for the last time. Carrie is the reason I thought proms might be cool when I was a kid. This Brian De Palma adaptation is one of my favorite Stephen King adaptations. It is also an important title in the good-for-her subgenre. I cannot help rooting for Carrie White (Sissy Spacek) when I watch her snap at this prom and then head home to accidentally deal with her mom. The only tragedy of this evening is that Carrie had to die, too. I said what I said, and I will be hitting play again while it is on Shudder. This recommendation goes out to the other recovering sheltered girls who would be the problem if they had powers. I see you because I am you.
You can watch Carrie on January 1st.
Marshmallow (2025)
A shy 12-year-old gets sent to summer camp and finds himself in a living nightmare. While Marshmallow did not land for me, I know plenty of people who love it. Which makes this the perfect addition to the Shudder catalogue. I am actually excited to see more folks fall in love with this movie when it hits the streamer. If nothing else, it will help a few folks cross off another 2025 title if they are still playing catch-up with last year’s movies. It also gets cool points from me for not taking the easy route with the mystery it built. I hope you all dig it more than I did, and tell your friends about it. Perhaps you could even encourage them to sign up for the app.
You can watch Marshmallow on January 1st.
Chain Reactions (2024)
Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre cemented his horror legacy over fifty years ago. So, it is long overdue for a documentary where horror royalty can discuss its impact on them and their careers. I have been waiting for a couple of years to hear Karyn Kusama and Takashi Miike talk about Hooper’s work and how he inspired them. So, I am super geeked that Shudder is finally giving me the chance to see this film. The streamer is also helping the nerds out by adding The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre 2 (1986) this month. If you are also an overachieving couch potato, I will see you at the finish line next week.
You can watch Chain Reactions on January 9th.
In the Mouth of Madness (1994)
An insurance investigator discovers the impact a horror writer’s books have on people. I love chaos, and John Carpenter chaos happens to be one of my favorite kinds of chaos. While we talk about The Thing and Halloween all the time, this maestro has given us plenty of horror to celebrate. In the Mouth of Madness is very much one of those titles vying for a top spot among the best of his filmography. To sweeten the batshit pot, this movie features Sam Neill. You know that he only shows up in our genre if the movie is going to be legendary. You cannot tell me this is not a Shudder priority this month.
You can watch In the Mouth of Madness on January 10th.
Mother of Flies (2025)
A terminally ill young woman and her dad head to the woods to seek out a recluse who claims she can cure her cancer. The Adams Family has been holding court on Shudder for years, so it feels right that Mother of Flies is a Shudder Original. More importantly, this fest favorite has one of the best performances of 2025. Which makes it a great time for people to finally get to see it and get in line to give Toby Poser her flowers. Whatever you think your favorite Poser role is, it is about to change when you see her as Solveig. I am being serious when I say that this movie might be the first family of indie horror at their best.
You can watch Mother of Flies on January 23rd.
New year, but same Shudder. I would not want to go into 2026 any other way, personally. I hope these horrific recommendations bring you the good kind of anxiety. Or at least distract you from the state of the world for a bit.


