Editorials
What Are the Scariest Horror Remakes?
Should horror remakes exist? Should they not? I’m not too interested in answering that question. But the truth is that they exist, and considering how bleeding many of them there are, the question we need to ask is: Are they scary? I would like to take you on a tour of a few of the movies that respond to that question with an emphatic yes. They’re not ranked, because horror is such a subjective experience that the rankings would mean even less here than usual. And there are plenty I haven’t included, so if your favorite isn’t on the list, that doesn’t mean it’s not scary. That just means it’s not on my list. Also, a movie’s presence on the list doesn’t mean the original isn’t scary. OK, that’s the housekeeping out of the way. On with the frights!
Horror remakes get a bad rap. In an increasingly IP-driven movie marketplace, it’s easy to understand why. Many audiences want fresh, original horror movies with unique points of view and new things to say about the world. And they want to complain when those movies get remakes and sequels down the line. It’s how things are supposed to work!
Should horror remakes exist? Should they not? I’m not too interested in answering that question. But the truth is that they exist, and considering how bleeding many of them there are, the question we need to ask is: Are they scary?
I would like to take you on a tour of a few of the movies that respond to that question with an emphatic yes. They’re not ranked, because horror is such a subjective experience that the rankings would mean even less here than usual. And there are plenty I haven’t included, so if your favorite isn’t on the list, that doesn’t mean it’s not scary. That just means it’s not on my list. Also, a movie’s presence on the list doesn’t mean the original isn’t scary. OK, that’s the housekeeping out of the way. On with the best horror remakes!
Our Favorite Horror Remakes
The Woman in Black (2012)
This is a new mounting of the Susan Hill haunted house novel of the same name following a TV movie adaptation from 1989. Notwithstanding the chronologically confounding choice of casting Daniel Radcliffe as a father just one year out from the end of the Harry Potter franchise, it goes without saying that applying a movie budget to the title allowed it to bring the eerie Eel Marsh House to life in all of the elegant, crumbling squalor that Hammer Films (and its many partners) could provide.
This is a very jump scare heavy movie, so it won’t be to everyone’s tastes, but it pairs those jack-in-the-box moments with an atmosphere of such thick, oppressive, foggy gloom that the creeping damp of its central location gets into your bones even if you’re impervious to everything else going bump in the night.
Evil Dead (2013)
The thing this remake gets most right about Sam Raimi’s original 1981 masterpiece and its follow-up Evil Dead II, is that a movie can provoke a reaction by pushing the boundaries to the extreme, whether it be a laugh or a scream. There can be something terrifying about the sheer visceral nature of the gore in Evil Dead all on its own, especially in the smaller, more relatable moments like a person’s skull being slammed into the solid porcelain of a toilet.
But on top of that, you have director Fede Alvarez’s go-for-broke aesthetic there to disorient you while the movie throws scene after pulse-pounding scene of unmitigated mayhem upon the screen. It’s bound to get under your skin at some point or another. And maybe even deeper.
The Invisible Man (2020)
The Invisible Man, an adaptation of the H.G. Wells novel that so memorably became one of the cornerstones of the Universal horror unit in 1933, has big shoes to fill and does so with aplomb. It certainly helps that when Elisabeth Moss is scared of something onscreen, you can’t help but believe her. But this is also another entry where, whatever layer you peel back of the onion, there’s something different and disturbing underneath. In addition to some of the most exquisitely crafted scare gags of the decade, at its heart, the movie is about the very human and devastating violence that one person in a couple can inflict on the other.
The Thing (1982)
The Thing is a new adaptation of John W. Campbell Jr. novella Who Goes There?, which was previously adapted in 1951 as The Thing from Another World. Here’s the thing about The Thing. It ups the ante something fierce. In addition to throwing mind-bending, state-of-the-art special effects at the screen every opportunity it gets, John Carpenter uses every item in his toolbox to build and sustain a sense of creeping dread, from an all-timer cast of stars and character actors to Ennio Morricone’s brooding, lurking score.
The Ring (2002)
The Ring is an English-language remake of the 1998 Japanese-language movie Ringu, which itself was adapted from a novel by Koji Suzuki. So if there’s anything we’ve learned from this list, it should be that horror authors really deserve their flowers. Gore Verbinski directs the movie with aplomb, adding lavish visual elements that threaten to drown you in all their heady, vainglorious grandeur.
But he doesn’t shy away from the muscular, intense scares of the original movie, either. The Ring is a movie about someone trying desperately to save themselves while the clock ticks down to their death, and though it takes its time to get to the big, iconic showstopping moment, the movie doesn’t let up in its constant reminders that certain doom lies around every corner.
Editorials
Is ‘Funny Games’ The Perfect ‘Scream’ Foil?
When I begin crafting my reviews, I do some quick background research on the film itself, but I avoid looking at what others have to say. The last thing I want is for my views to be swayed in any way by what others think or say about a film. It has been at least 13 years since I’ve seen the English-language shot-for-shot remake of Funny Games. And I didn’t remember much about it. After watching the original 1997 masterpiece just minutes ago, I quickly ran to my computer to start writing this. Whether or not I’m breaking new ground by saying this is up in the air, and I could even be very incorrect with this: Funny Games is the perfect foil to Scream, and the irreparable damage it has caused to the slasher subgenre.
The Family at the Center of this Film
Funny Games follows the upper-class family of Anna (Susanne Lothar), George (Ulrich Mühe), son Georgie (Stefan Clapczynski), and dog Rolfi (Rolfi?), who arrive at their lake house for a few weeks of undisturbed peace. Soon after their arrival, they’re met by Paul (Arno Frisch) and Peter (Frank Giering), two white-clad yuppies who seem just a bit off. Who will survive and who will die in this game that is less funny than the title suggests?
I’ve made this statement about Scream time and time again. Before I get into it too much, let’s take a quick step back to ward off the Ryan C. Showers-like people. I love Scream (as well as 2, 5, and 6). It created a new wave of filmmakers and singlehandedly brought the slasher subgenre back from the dead like a Resident Evil zombie. Like what Tarantino did to independent crime thrillers of the 2000s and 10s, Scream has done to slashers. Post-Scream, slashers felt the need to be overtly meta and as twisty as possible, even at the film’s own demise. There is nothing wrong with a slasher film attempting to be smart. The problem arises when filmmakers who can’t pull it off think they can.
Is Funny Games Anti-Horror or Anti-Slasher?
The barebones rumblings I’ve heard about Funny Games over the years are that writer/director Michael Haneke calls it anti-horror. I would posit that Funny Games unknowingly found itself as more of an anti-slasher rather than an anti-horror. (Hell, it could be both!) Scream would release to acclaim just one year before Haneke’s incredible creation, so I can’t definitively say that Funny Games is a direct response to Scream, as much as I would like to.
Meta-ness has existed in cinema and art long before Scream came to be. Though if you had asked me when I was a freshman in high school, I would have told you Wes Craven created the idea of being meta. It just strikes me as a bit odd that two incredibly meta horror films would be released just one year apart and have such an impact on the genre. Whereas Scream uses its meta nature to make the audience do the Leonardo in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood… meme, Haneke uses it as a mirror for the audience.
Scream vs. Funny Games: A Clash of Meta Intentions
Scream doesn’t ask the audience to figure out which killer is behind the mask at which points; it just assumes that you will suspend your disbelief enough to accept it. Funny Games subverts this idea by showing you the perpetrators immediately and then forcing you to sit in the same room with them, faces uncovered, for nearly the film’s entire runtime. Scream was flashy and fun, Funny Games is long and uncomfortable. Haneke forces the audience to sit with the atrocities and exist within the trauma felt by the family as they’re brutally picked off one by one.
Funny Games utilizes fourth wall breaks to wink at the audience. Haneke is, more or less, trying to make the audience feel bad for what they’re watching. Each time Paul looks at the camera, it’s almost as if he’s saying, “You wanted this.” One of the most intriguing moments in the film is when Peter gets killed and Paul says, “Where is the remote?” before grabbing it, pressing rewind, and going back moments before Anna kills Peter. This is a direct middle finger to the audience. You think you’re getting a final girl in this nasty picture? Hell no. You asked for this, so you’re getting this.
A Contemptuous Look at Slasher Tropes
Both Funny Games are the only Haneke films I’ve seen, so I can’t speak much on his oeuvre. But Funny Games almost feels contemptful about horror, slashers in particular. The direct nature of the boys and their constant presence in each scene eliminates any potential plot holes. E.g., how did Jason Voorhees get from one side of the lake to a cabin a quarter of a mile away? You just have to believe! In horror, we’ve come to accept that when you’re watching a slasher film, you MUST accept what’s given to you. Haneke proves it can be done simply and effectively.
Whether you think it’s horror or not, Funny Games is one of the greatest horror films of all time. Before the elevated horror craze that exists to inflict misery on the viewers, Haneke had “been there, done that.” When [spoiler] dies, [spoiler] and [spoiler] sit in the living room in silence for nearly two minutes in a single uncut shot. Then, in the same uncut shot, [spoiler] starts keening for another two or three minutes. Nearly every slasher film moves on after a kill. Occasionally, we’ll get a funeral service or a memorial set up at the local high school for the slain teenagers. But there’s rarely an effective reflection on the loss of life in a slasher film. Funny Games tells you that you will reflect on death because you asked for death. You bought the ticket (rented the film), so you must reap what you sow.
Why Funny Games Remains One-of-a-Kind
This piece has been overly harsh on slasher films, and that was not the intention. Behind found footage, slasher films are probably my second favorite subgenre. As someone who has watched their fair share of them, it’s easy to see the pre-Scream and post-Scream shift. But there’s this weird disconnect where slasher films had transformed from commentary on life and loss to nothing more than flashy kills where a clown saws a woman from crotch to cranium, and then refuses to pay her fairly. Funny Games is an impressive meditation on horror and horror audiences. Even the title is a poke at the absurdity of slashers. If you haven’t seen Funny Games, I highly suggest checking it out because I can promise you, you’ve never seen a horror film like it. And we probably never will again.
Editorials
‘The Woman in Black’ Remake Is Better Than The Original
As a horror fan, I tend to think about remakes a lot. Not why they are made, necessarily. That answer is pretty clear: money. But something closer to “if they have to be made, how can they be made well?” It’s rare to find a remake that is generally considered to be better than the original. However, there are plenty that have been deemed to be valuable in a different way. You can find these in basically all subgenres. Sci-fi, for instance (The Thing, The Blob). Zombies (Dawn of the Dead, Evil Dead). Even slashers (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, My Bloody Valentine). However, when it comes to haunted house remakes, only The Woman in Black truly stands out, and it is shockingly underrated. Even more intriguingly, it is demonstrably better than the original movie.
The Original Haunted House Movie Is Almost Always Better
Now please note, I’m specifically talking about movies with haunted houses, rather than ghost movies in general. We wouldn’t want to be bringing The Ring into this conversation. That’s not fair to anyone.
Plenty of haunted house movies are minted classics, and as such, the subgenre has gotten its fair share of remakes. These are, almost unilaterally, some of the most-panned movies in a format that attracts bad reviews like honey attracts flies.
You’ve got 2005’s The Amityville Horror (a CGI-heavy slog briefly buoyed by a shirtless, possessed Ryan Reynolds). That same year’s Dark Water (one of many inert remakes of Asian horror films to come from that era). 1999’s The House on Haunted Hill (a manic, incoherent effort that millennial nostalgia has perhaps been too kind to). That same year there was The Haunting (a manic, incoherent effort that didn’t even earn nostalgia in the first place). And 2015’s Poltergeist (Remember this movie? Don’t you wish you didn’t?). And while I could accept arguments about 2001’s THIR13EN Ghosts, it’s hard to compete with a William Castle classic.
The Problem with Haunted House Remakes
Generally, I think haunted house remakes fail so often because of remakes’ compulsive obsession with updating the material. They throw in state-of-the-art special effects, the hottest stars of the era, and big set piece action sequences. Like, did House on Haunted Hill need to open with that weird roller coaster scene? Of course it didn’t.
However, when it comes to haunted house movies, bigger does not always mean better. They tend to be at their best when they are about ordinary people experiencing heightened versions of normal domestic fears. Bumps in the night, unexplained shadows, and the like. Maybe even some glowing eyes or a floating child. That’s all fine and dandy. But once you have a giant stone lion decapitating Owen Wilson, things have perhaps gone a bit off the rails.
The One Big Exception is The Woman in Black
The one undeniable exception to the haunted house remake rule is 2012’s The Woman in Black. If we want to split hairs, it’s technically the second adaptation of the Susan Hill novel of the same name. But The Haunting was technically a Shirley Jackson re-adaptation, and that still counts as a remake, so this does too.
The novel follows a young solicitor being haunted when handling a client’s estate at the secluded Eel Marsh House. The property was first adapted into a 1989 TV movie starring Adrian Rawlings, and it was ripe for a remake. In spite of having at least one majorly eerie scene, the 1989 movie is in fact too simple and small-scale. It is too invested in the humdrum realities of country life to have much time to be scary. Plus, it boasts a small screen budget and a distinctly “British television” sense of production design. Eel Marsh basically looks like any old English house, with whitewashed walls and a bland exterior.
Therefore, the “bigger is better” mentality of horror remakes took The Woman in Black to the exact level it needed.
The Woman in Black 2012 Makes Some Great Choices
2012’s The Woman in Black deserves an enormous amount of credit for carrying the remake mantle superbly well. By following a more sedate original, it reaches the exact pitch it needs in order to craft a perfect haunted house story. Most appropriately, the design of Eel Marsh House and its environs are gloriously excessive. While they don’t stretch the bounds of reality into sheer impossibility, they completely turn the original movie on its head.
Eel Marsh is now, as it should be, a decaying, rambling pile where every corner might hide deadly secrets. It’d be scary even if there wasn’t a ghost inside it, if only because it might contain copious black mold. Then you add the marshy grounds choked in horror movie fog. And then there’s the winding, muddy road that gets lost in the tide and feels downright purgatorial. Finally, you have a proper damn setting for a haunted house movie that plumbs the wicked secrets of the wealthy.
Why The Woman in Black Remake Is an Underrated Horror Gem
While 2012’s The Woman in Black is certainly underrated as a remake, I think it is even more underrated as a haunted house movie. For one thing, it is one of the best examples of the pre-Conjuring jump-scare horror movie done right. And if you’ve read my work for any amount of time, you know how positively I feel about jump scares. The Woman in Black offers a delectable combo platter of shocks designed to keep you on your toes. For example, there are plenty of patient shots that wait for you to notice the creepy thing in the background. But there are also a number of short sharp shocks that remain tremendously effective.
That is not to say that the movie is perfect. They did slightly overstep with their “bigger is better” move to cast Daniel Radcliffe in the lead role. It was a big swing making his first post-Potter role that of a single father with a four-year-old kid. It’s a bit much to have asked 2012 audiences to swallow, though it reads slightly better so many years later.
However, despite its flaws, The Woman in Black remake is demonstrably better than the original. In nearly every conceivable way. It’s pure Hammer Films confection, as opposed to a television drama without an ounce of oomph.





