Reviews
TRICKS ALL AROUND, NO TREATS: A Spoiler-Filled, King-Sized Review of ‘Halloween Ends’
For a point of reference on how baffled and taken aback I was by this movie: I, no joke, felt like I was dreaming this film up midway through the screening at my theatre. Regardless of whether you enjoy it or not, you will be captivated by this movie the whole way through. And that’s all there is to say that won’t spoil things. Skip to the bottom for my summary review and to avoid the
Why Halloween Ends Feels Disconnected
I’m not going to do my usual synoptic blurb I put at the front of my articles. Having to sum up Halloween Ends is a confusing task. The movie itself is a confusing question of whether a roadmap was made or not by Danny McBride and David Gordon Green following the triumphant ending of Halloween (2018) and the fun, but admittedly mindless roller coaster ride of Halloween Kills.
Ends makes little to no sense with the tracks laid by the first two films in the trilogy (quadrilogy, if you include the original ’78 film) and can only be described as a feverish script being performed by delirious actors, all filmed and edited by unsteady and shaking hands. In short: Michael’s mythical reveal of immortality at the end of the last movie is all but glossed over in favor of a plotline where he has to get his strength back through the murders committed by an ersatz of The Shape in the form of newcomer Corey Cunningham (played by Rohan Campbell).
I think?
Unclear Motivations and Michael Myers’ Role
I say I think because the movie, unlike previous dabblings into the occult with the likes of The Cult of Thorn, Halloween Ends never truly tries to explain how Michael’s newfound legend status power-up works, or really what the point of any of this is. If he’s fueled by the paranoia and fear of the citizens of Haddonfield, he should be operating at peak condition by the beginning of the film and slaughtering in droves. If he’s only fueled by Laurie’s personal demons and fear of him, he shouldn’t be able to lift a finger and should still firmly be in that sewer that Corey drags him out of to go on a vengeful, Punisher-esque series of kills to try and clean Haddonfield of evil people. If that is his goal, again, unclear. Because what does Michael even need any more than to finish his contractual obligation to be in this? His hatred of Laurie seems to be a fairly low priority, in a movie all about finishing their legendary feud.
Corey Cunningham: A Misguided Addition
Beyond the fact that they’ve given a dog-eating silent psychopath a partner in crime (which is a Halloween franchise sin if I could ever think of one), how Michael even goes about choosing Corey as a vessel for his evil influence doesn’t make any sense, as most of this film doesn’t: things simply happen until they don’t need to. Corey’s involuntary manslaughter of a child and being bullied by local teens somehow baptizes him in evil to become the apprentice of The Shape…until it isn’t enough, and Michael kills him. Relationships shift in this film on a dime, as do motivations and any general sense of direction as it tries to navigate to the promised clash that was all we really saw in the promotional material for this film.
The movie takes great actors and gives them a clammy, terribly written script to work with that turns all of their characters into buffoons whom all sound like Tim and Eric characters, or worse, true crime show hosts waxing philosophical about the nature of evil. Their dialogue and the placement of the scenes are so asynchronous to the movie’s pacing that it feels all too fast and all too slow all at the same time.
Allyson’s Wasted Potential
And so sadly, the biggest victim in Halloween Ends is one of its most promising characters. The movie, for some bizarre reason, discards the wonderfully charismatic Andi Matichak and Allyson with her. Allyson was a complex character who thanks to this film goes from the inheritor of a terrible burden, the burden of fighting off an immortal evil, a bearer of unfortunate and violent history, to being a side character in her own film. A woman with as little screen time as they could give her, who becomes the dawdling, flat love interest for the film’s newly introduced main antagonist. It’s vexing how shafted she gets by this screenplay.
I wish I could say on a technical level it redeems itself with some cool kills and gory effects, but it has three interesting ones out of a dozen or so forgettable murders that happen in this film, even if the rest are well-done practical effects. The camera work is nauseatingly bad, with random little zooms and distracting camera movement littered throughout it. The film doesn’t aesthetically fit with its sister entries, with lighting that feels overexposed. And beyond the cut-in montage of all the times Laurie and Michael have fought to remind you what is at stake here, the editing is nothing to write home about.
A Disappointing End to the Trilogy
When it tries something new, it flops face first into a pile of pumpkin guts at the expense of 2018 and Kills; when it attempts to evoke the old films, it helplessly fails at pulling your heartstrings. In the end, every person in Haddonfield follows a car with Michael Myers strapped to the hood, performing a sort of macabre 5k fun run for capital punishment before they toss his mutilated body into an industrial-sized car shredder in a junkyard. And really, is there a more appropriate metaphor for how this movie treats the potential of the films that precede it than that?
For the most part, the entire movie is a wheezing, asthmatic crawl to the finish line on the final third of the course. Halloween Ends is a true-blue disappointment. Its raisins, razor blade apples, and Necco wafers all in one bite. And while I encourage you to watch every movie I review and see how you feel about it yourself; I have to warn you that you will most likely be upset with this if you’re expecting a more thematically cohesive David Gordon-Green’s Halloween trilogy.
Reviews
‘Iron Lung’ Review: Exceptionally Atmospheric Cosmic Horror
As Iron Lung begins, the film places you in an overhead shot looking down at a submarine that’s seen better days. Jagged metal teeth of a broken cage sit at its head, illuminated by a light from the ship above that’s about to cut it loose. As you’re about to be dropped into a roiling ocean of blood, you become quickly invested in its story.
A dire paternal voiceover runs you through your place in the world as an observer: someone is being sent into the “waters” of a far-off moon in a dead, dark galaxy. They’re in search of an answer you’re automatically aware will never be enough and a penance they will never attain. It prompts an obvious, cutting question: if Hell is where we’re looking for an answer, how bad must things be among the stars to go searching there for hope?
A Surprising Outing for Writer and Director Mark Fischbach
The debut feature film of writer and director Mark Fischbach, better known to the internet at large as Markiplier, is as surprising as it is atmospheric. And no, not surprising because Fischbach is an internet personality crossing over into film. And no, not surprising because this is a video game adaptation that is actually quite good.
The surprise here is mainly from the way Fischbach dodges a number of first-time filmmaker torpedoes that would otherwise sink the film straight to the sea floor. It’s in the very clear coordination and trust he has with his cast and crew. In a way, the film itself is a mirror of the submersible his character is forced to pilot: flawed, surely, but strong enough to complete its mission and deliver an exceptional experience.
What Is Iron Lung About Exactly?
The story goes as follows: in the wake of an event called the Quiet Rapture, the stars themselves have been snuffed out. Most of the galaxy has been plunged into sudden darkness, and a mass dying off has consumed countless worlds (think the worst possible aftermath to The Nine Billion Names of God).
Convicted for a reprehensible crime, the convict Simon (played by Markiplier himself) has been given a rare opportunity to return to life among the survivors. The mission is to pilot a death trap of a one-man submarine into the blood oceans of an alien moon, looking for a scientific sample useful enough to earn his freedom. That is, assuming he doesn’t lose his mind or his life in the process.
Bespoke Set Design That Matches the Premise Perfectly
Iron Lung should be commended first and foremost for being a bottle film with the perfect set design to match. Not overly ambitious, but not too simplistic either. Contained in a marvel of a small space, the submarine here is a tactile nightmare of rusty metal and antiquated technology you never get sick of seeing more of.
While Fischbach and director of photography Philip Roy have the camera linger in close ups almost too often, I don’t blame them for wanting to capture the finer details and leer at them. It’s clear every inch of this condensation covered machine was engineered by the art team and production design to emphasize its prison cell qualities as a barely functional vessel.
The ship’s external camera fires off like a flash bulb on its interior, barely illuminating the cabin with its next horrific image of the sea floor before plunging us back into darkness. The oxygen gauge and its cold robotic voice are a countdown to the painful annihilation that awaits its pilot. Its proximity sensors give only the barest indications of what’s going on outside, ticking a dull noise warning us: you are not alone. It’s a punishment to operate, and the set design as well as the very solid sound design that accompany it make that violently clear and effectively spinetingling.
Translation From Game to Film Isn’t So Perfect Though
This perfect setting isn’t always used perfectly though. The translation of the game’s mechanics and gameplay to the screen are both a weakness and a strength. They make the pacing of the first third run to a slow start, especially when Fischbach’s screenplay grinds against the strong suit of the film’s cinematography: the panic of it all.
Like its video game source material, David Szymanski’s Iron Lung, the film is really at its best when it’s instilling a sense of active and imminent panic. A tone that matches the borrowed time the submarine is glued together with. Putting out fires, both literal and metaphorical, ratcheting up its claustrophobia as you’re placed cheek to cheek with Simon in steamy, metallic darkness. This is where Iron Lung shines.
Markiplier’s Performance in Iron Lung is Hit or Miss, But Mostly Hits
It’s outside of these moments of panic where the weakest parts of the script and Fischbach’s performance are highlighted. Some weak line deliveries and beats of dead air kill the real tight headlock the film could have you gripped in from start to finish. And while Fischbach is phenomenal at playing terrified or pleading or even simple exhaustion in the face of the impossible, he really requires someone to bounce off of as his solo work just isn’t as compelling. Even the clunkiest bits of dialogue between him and his jailer (Caroline Kaplan) are better than the best of his moments where he talks to himself or tries to inject some humor into the bleak story.
This is a shame too, because the minimalist storytelling and background we get for his character is genuinely very intriguing. It’s thematically rich for what the film is trying to say about the power and terror of belief, and it’s doubly satisfying that the film has enough confidence to not lay everything out in a longwinded speech explaining the motives and lore that landed him here.
All that being said, his performance is hit or miss, but he mostly hits. The dialogue becomes more urgent as we approach the climax, and all of the cast delivers on that impending doom nicely. It reaches its peak in the final act, and Fischbach is on fire as he struggles to hold himself together in the face of absolute madness leaching its way into the pressurized cabin.
Iron Lung: A Redemptive Finale With Pure Liquid Body Horror
What a fantastic final act it is, one that makes up for its imperfection in the first two parts with a homerun of pure liquid body horror. It’s just phenomenal how the film’s digital and practical effects present the true horrors of Iron Lung. There’s a near perfect mesh between the two, and they highlight the best influences of similar genre films that came before.
Soaked with all the gore, madness, and mystery of the likes of Event Horizon and Pandorum, Iron Lung is a worthy successor in the cosmic horror genre as it rises above its own problems. It’s a moody, environmentally precise stunner of a horror film that sets a benchmark as the movie to beat for forthcoming releases this year.
Reviews
‘The Ritual (2017)’ Review: When Grief Gets Gruesome
The Ritual is, without a doubt, one of the most completely enthralling horror films of the past decade. Usually, I wouldn’t open with such a strong reaction for a movie that isn’t a technical and narrative masterpiece, but this is close enough to call that in. It’s at the very least masterful work that deserves more love, and that’s even with it having a permanent home and high placement on the world’s biggest streaming platform. It’s no longer the obscure hidden gem it was at the time of release, if it ever was that, but I refuse to stop talking about it.
The sheer catharsis this film grants through its cast, and the way its environment really pushes that cast of characters, is what I could only describe as “surgical.” It cuts to the bone. It’s a movie about the strangling nature of grief, and it gives us a great time showing its characters fighting against that choking feeling.
What is The Ritual (2017) About?
After the death of Rob, things haven’t been the same for Luke. The memories of the robbery that took his life, a robbery he had to witness hiding behind a liquor shelf, still haunt him. But there’s a chance for closure as he and his friends go on the trip that Luke had helped plan the night he died.
Their quest to honor his memory sends them through the beautiful locales of Northern Sweden, along a hiking trail in the mountains. But after an attempt at a shortcut sends the group deep into the woods and they struggle to get back on course, it becomes violently clear they aren’t the only ones in the wilderness. Ritualistic markings, involving dead animals and dire effigies, warn of a much greater power lurking in the forest. Whether they can escape it depends on whether they can keep each other safe long enough to get out.
Netflix Could You Lock In And Do A Physical Release For Once
This is a phenomenal film, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t get up on my soapbox about its format for just one moment. Regrettably, this is a streaming-only film that has been shackled by Netflix to its platform. It has an excessively rare DVD release floating around, but that is also unfortunately, region locked, and likely more low fidelity than most physical collectors would like. Especially when so much of this movie relies on shadow and darkness, a Blu-Ray release is kind of obligatory for high quality preservation of the director’s vision.
Not sure what I expected from the media conglomerate that it is. Netflix is already notorious for refusing to release physical media and then cancelling and erasing shows from the platform. What are we going to do with you Netflix? You only ever seem to cause me problems. Just make the physical release for this already.
Gorgeous, Grotesque, And Gut-wrenching All At The Same Time
Setting that thought aside, this film was bound to be fantastic given the horror pedigree behind it. Cutting loose anthology director David Bruckner, the MVP of the V/H/S franchise, then giving him a budget and legendary location scouting is about as great as you’d expect. It’s like saying that sugar and butter make things taste better; should you really be shocked?
When you have this many lighting and environmental factors to juggle, expectations are understandably high. The film on paper should look at least a little choppy, but Bruckner and cinematographer Andrew Shulkind really are in their element here. This is only exemplified even further by the film’s most memorable space-bending set piece at its climax. I won’t even risk spoiling it for lack of a better description, but I will say the stark contrast they play with light and shadow here makes for some really captivating visuals and frightening moments.
The naturalistic environment this folk horror takes place in really has a knack for showing the contrasting beauty and grotesqueness of the things hiding in the woods. And its director really has a knack for using that environment to squeeze the actors for all they’ve got.
A Phenomenal Cast Led By Rafe Spall
Make no mistake: The Ritual is not just a pretty face. This is at its core a story about a group of men facing their strained relationships in the wake of a brutal death, and all the ugliness that entails. They’re foolish, angry, bitter, and sad people struggling each in their own way to accept a loss. What it leads you with is what you’d expect to be one-note characters being slotted into archetypal roles, but what they end up as feels surprisingly real.
The obvious star here is our lead Rafe Spall, whose turn as main character Luke ranges from downright depressing to shockingly soul lifting. You can see Spall plays him as a man slowly trying to piece himself back together, fumbling as he’s soaked in alcohol and self-pity. His changing demeanor throughout the film really reflects the truth of his character: he was only ever going to change and confront his past when he was forced to. And him being forced to go through supernatural circumstances really does make for one of the most satisfying character arcs in a horror film I’ve ever seen.
Is This The Best Creature Design Of The Past 20 Years?
Again, it’s difficult to talk about this film without spoiling its most fun moments, so I will just say that you only stand to gain something by watching it. If its emotional aspects don’t grab you, its aesthetic qualities will. And if all that fails to grab you, maybe this will: The Ritual boasts what is the definitively best monster design of the 2010s, if not the past 20 years. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can top the visual concept this film delivers on with that design. Need I say more?


