I feel like I’m always taking swings at Blumhouse Productions and would like to explain why I’m usually frustratedly screaming into a mic, “For whomst?!” My relationship as a horror fan with most of the movies this company produces cannot be summed up in quick, snide comments and eyerolls. It’s bigger than that because when Blumhouse gets it right, they get it right. Get Out, Us, Creep, Creep 2, Happy Death Day, Freaky, M3GAN, and Drop are some of my favorite movies from the last 10 years. The Paranormal Activity franchise is the reason I show up for found footage films today. 

However, while the mission to seemingly greenlight anything is good on paper, it does lead to some questionable films. Some projects feel irresponsible to fund, and some that are just bad make up the majority of their library. For every diamond, we get a bunch of movies that leave us scratching our heads and wondering if the obvious conversations were not being had. Which is why I picked four Blumhouse movies I have legitimate beef with. I think these are prime examples of why I have a hard time getting excited when the company’s PR starts up for a new project. I’m also respectfully asking if there are things in place to avoid these issues and concerns in the future.

The Exorcist: Believer

Two girls disappear in the woods and return to their families, who soon learn they are possessed by an evil entity. My surface problem with this Blumhouse movie is that they learned nothing from greenlighting the Halloween trilogy and put the cart before the horse again. However, my main grievance is that I was led to believe this would be a Black-led Exorcist movie. That would have been groundbreaking in this almost exclusively white franchise. More importantly, Leslie Odom Jr. and Lidya Jewett were more than capable of leading this movie. So, why were they shoved into the margins? We had a double exorcism and gave the non-Black child most of the cool things to do. The film also made Odom Jr.’s character the chauffeur for Chris MacNeil, who was shoehorned in for fan service and given nothing important to do. The Exorcist: Believer was unbelievably bad to boot.

Dashcam (2021)

Two friends livestream the most terrifying night of their lives while on a road trip. This movie would have done fine because it was from the team that brought us Host. As we were still in pandemic mode, many of us were curious to see what they would do next. So, there was a lot of face cracks when it came out that problematic Twitter personality Annie Hardy would be basically playing herself in the film. From her political stances, COVID denial, racist rants, and that time she turned a pride flag into a swastika on Twitter, she’s very blatantly a person who does not need a bigger platform.

It’s irresponsible to allow a movie to use her as stunt casting in a Blumhouse production. Again, this movie would have been better off without her because it would have ridden the steam of Host. Instead, it turned people off, and some refused to see it or review it.

They/Them (2022)

A group of teens at an LGBTQ+ conversion camp suffer psychological torture at the hands of the staff while being murdered by a masked killer. I feel there were too many cis people weighing in on this movie. I personally watched an awful person who masquerades as a journalist leap into Twitter conversations where Trans and non-binary people were discussing why this movie wasn’t it. So, I chose to keep my thoughts to myself and listen to the community, who should get a say.

I encourage you to do the same. Here is the Horror Press review by Bash Ortega. I also encourage you to read Kay Lynch’s essay at Bloody Disgusting. Consequence of Sound also had a review that is worth reading. While this was one of the movies under the Blumhouse banner that had its heart seemingly in the right place, we know intention and impact are not the same thing.

Soft & Quiet (2022)

An elementary teacher meets with other white supremacists and then commits a hate crime. This movie felt like a bunch of shocking events strewn together, and I wanted my money back for this rental. I have no idea how this film came to be what it is. Personally, I hope there is a version that doesn’t feel like racial trauma porn somewhere, but this is not it. I kept wondering who this movie is for, and the internet confirmed it wasn’t for POC. With all the ways to capture white supremacy on film, this is what they did? I feel this is the most irresponsible movie Blumhouse has subjected me to. It’s the reason I no longer get excited when I hear a filmmaker I am rooting for is working with the company. 

In Closing…

I know I come across as flippant when I drag most of Blumhouse’s films. However, it stems from a place of concern and frustration. Bad movies like Firestarter, Unhuman, Night Swim, and Imaginary are one thing. These movies that clumsily handle important topics that are the reason I’m usually waiting for their titles to hit streaming. Whether they’re putting Black leads in the backseat, greenlighting movies where internet trolls are being given roles, or adding to the canon of racial trauma porn, I’m tired. I don’t know how to fix it because I don’t know if it’s a lack of support or interference regarding the writers and directors.

I don’t know if it’s just quantity over quality leading to some messy and unnecessary movies making it through the cracks. However, if Jason Blum can unpack why M3GAN 2.0 flopped, then it would be cool for him to unpack what he’s learned from the movies that should actually be cause for concern. As a film girl, I would love to see these Blumhouse choices laid out like case studies. Whatever lessons learned and actionable items taken to not make these mistakes again, could be beneficial to other production companies that are also struggling. All I know is an honest investigation is needed if they’re going to keep yeeting films out at this rate. We want to root for all horror. However, it’s hard to do that if we’re wondering who is (or is not) in the room for so many important conversations that need to happen.

The Clue 4K Blu-ray SteelBook is dropping on October 21st to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the movie I love. So, I took this as a sign to write a love letter to the film that is a huge part of why I am the way I am. I am also here to do what I do best and state the obvious. Clue is the only film based on a board game that is worth watching. Before some of you fight me, the Jumanji game was released after the book and the movie. More importantly, while it holds a special place in my heart and I miss Robin Williams more than I can ever say, I have loved Clue almost as long as I have been alive. I am clearly biased, but I also think it had a bigger impact on many of us. Here is my story, though.

Too Cool For School

This comedic murder mystery, written and directed by Jonathan Lynn, had no business being as great as it is. It is based on my favorite board game, Clue (originally Cluedo), created by Anthony E. Pratt. The film was also produced by the legendary Debra Hill (John Carpenter’s co-conspirator on Halloween, The Fog, and other bangers). As a small child, I didn’t know these names. I just knew there was a movie that made me happy no matter how many times I rewatched it.

As a ’90s kid, there was nothing better than finishing Saturday morning cartoons and catching Clue on TV. Those countless rewatches are probably why I know the value of a great ensemble, have had a lifelong crush on Tim Curry, and have an undying loyalty to the rest of the cast. The movie is probably also to blame for why I am such a theatrical little bitch, but I digress.

A mansion full of hot and funny people obviously had a pull for most of us. While we might have been too young to fully understand what was going on, we knew this was cinema. The all-star cast was a comedic dream team. Eileen Brennan, Madeline Kahn, Christopher Lloyd, Michael McKean, Martin Mull, Lesley Ann Warren, and Curry are the ensemble to beat. Their line readings, chemistry, and energy stood out to me as a youth. I spent countless years doing theatre, trying to find this feeling in the wings of random stages. I judged (too harshly) countless plays I was in the audience for that never gave me the same high. Clue is lightning in a bottle. It might be in the DNA of some of our favorite things, but it will never be duplicated.

Clue Changed Me

Clue is the reason I thought I wanted to be an actor for a couple of years as a kid. I literally wanted to be as funny as any of these ladies, and I wanted to live in a world this zany and cool. As a kid who was noting how few times women got to do cool stuff in the movies, I was all about it. I wanted to be Mrs. White, Miss Scarlett, and Mrs. Peacock. I even wanted to be Mrs. Ho, Yvette, and The Singing Telegram Girl because this script understands everyone should get a moment, so there are no small parts. This movie is probably one of the least traumatic reasons I have the uncontrollable urge to make people laugh. I no longer want to be an actor, but I do love being a character.

By the time all of the bodies have piled up, and the movie knows it needs to wrap it up, I feel like I am in it. No matter how many times I rewatch it, or that I know I am on the other side of a screen decades after it was released, I feel like I ran a marathon with these loveable and lethal characters. I also always want more time with the Clue crew because few things in life are as delightful as this film. I used to collect versions of the board game, and lucked into getting my hands on a copy of Clue: VCR Mystery Game by Parker Brothers in a thrift store when I was a kid. While I loved all of those things, nothing beat the cinematic experience that is this nearly perfect film that still lives rent-free in my heart.

Cinematic Magic All Around

I can hear composer John Morris’ music just thinking about certain scenes, and it makes me smile. My excitement (and shoulder work) as Mr. Body (Curry) explains his theories is embarrassing. However, this song is a banger. I listen to the score quite often because I’m a nerd and still want to live in this world as much as possible. I even shimmy to the credits as if it’s my first time watching the movie or hearing “Shake, Rattle and Roll” by Bill Haley & His Comets. Clue taught me to watch the credits for the maximum experience long before Marvel bribed the rest of you to do that.

This dinner party gone deadly wrong is fun, fascinating, and frenzied. I had the privilege of finally seeing Clue on the big screen a couple of years ago. Both my friend and I were left in awe of how one of our shared favorite films still holds up. It was the first time either of us had seen it in a theater and we were speechless. I almost cried as this all too familiar story unfolded in front of me. I like a lot of movies, but I only love a few. However, this one is part of my DNA at this point and I remain obsessed. I cannot help but see traces of it in some of my short plays. It’s what I think of first when I attempt to write a comedy, and it is the reason I know even murder can be funny.

Rewatch Clue Tonight

Clue will turn 40 this December, and the new steelbook will be released in a couple of weeks. However, this movie, which has been around longer than I have been alive, deserves so much more. I doubt I’m the only kid it turned into an aspiring cinephile. I cannot be the only genre nerd who owes it a huge debt of gratitude for making me a better film kid. More importantly, this funny, lovable, and hot cast showed us that some group projects can succeed. For all of these reasons, and probably hundreds more, I hope you make time for a rewatch this year. Your inner moppet deserves it for surviving this 2025. It’s also nice to know that something we loved as children still slaps in an age where most of our favorite movies are spoiling like the veggies in our fridges.