Reviews
[REVIEW] ‘Heart Eyes’ Hits You In The Honeymoon Phase
Heart Eyes follows the newly single, stressed out, highly relatable Ally (Holt) through an equally dreadful and ironic Valentine’s Day from start to finish. After a kind of cute, mostly awkward interaction with office hottie, Jay (Gooding), the pair (not a couple!) endure the good ol’ “run for your life- still cute though” slasher treatment, while the audience is treated to copious amounts of camp, guts, and laugh out loud moments. I’m not the biggest fan of slashers, but I, and everyone else in my screening left the theater still laughing.

Winter can be a slow one for new horror releases. Luckily, our hearts can start bumping for the new comedy slasher by director Josh Ruben (Werewolves Within, Scare Me). There are more than a few treasured names in the horror department attached, including a writing team of Phillip Murphy (Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard), Christopher Landon, and Michael Kennedy (Freaky). The film is helmed by Scream (2022) king Mason Gooding and Olivia Holt, who we last saw in Nahnatchka Khan’s Totally Killer, and supported by Jordana Brewster (The Fast and the Furious, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning) and Devon Sawa (Idle Hands, Final Destination).
Heart Eyes follows the newly single, stressed out, highly relatable Ally (Holt) through an equally dreadful and ironic Valentine’s Day from start to finish. After a kind of cute, mostly awkward interaction with office hottie, Jay (Gooding), the pair (not a couple!) endure the good ol’ “run for your life- still cute though” slasher treatment, while the audience is treated to copious amounts of camp, guts, and laugh out loud moments. I’m not the biggest fan of slashers, but I, and everyone else in my screening left the theater still laughing.
Historically, slashers run a pretty tight formula and are susceptible to getting a little worn out. Luckily Heart Eyes digs into its stereotype as much as ever, which I will always applaud Landon and Kennedy for. This story is pretty ridiculous, and if you aren’t the type that’s okay with ignoring your outside world experiences in order to meet the filmmakers on their level, this isn’t going to do it for you. Expect a real comedy, from unrealistic plot beats, wacky dialogue, to larger than life performances. It’s a real gag if you’re a fan of the ridiculous sublime, and frustrating if that’s not your bag.
Nobody on this team is playing around when it comes to the blood and guts of it all. Every genre fan appreciates when appropriate attention and budget is awarded to the kills. The opening sequence starts off bright and brutal, giving you a preview of the next 90 minutes of on-screen mania with an aura of the bubbly, naive teen cadence found in Legally Blonde and Clueless. The kills are creative, but also stick to the nostalgic cliches that we toss around every now and then for good reason. Heart Eyes is a rare one that invites you to laugh through the kills, as opposed to using humor to muzzle the trauma of a violent moment.
The movie is heavily centered around its survivors, but lacks enough connection to the killer. An expansion on the killer’s origins, or point of view moments would make the third act feel more rewarding. As it stands, the story might feel one dimensional. Still, I think H.E.K. (Heart Eyes Killer) has the potential to wreak havoc again. Their kills are inventive, their motive is different, and the mask is so rad that it deserves officially licensed merch (If you’re reading this, Josh, the cosplayers are calling). All of the above makes Heart Eyes a great gateway horror; when you’re not wincing over deranged murder methods, you’ll be catching your breath between deadly one liners that are written for the society we currently live in.
Heart Eyes arrives in theaters on February 7th, right on time for Valentine’s Day. Need a date idea? Does your partner like a laugh, but “doesn’t really do horror”? Here’s what you should do: take them to the nice theater (don’t be cheap- the ones with the reclining seats and the service button on the side), get them a margarita or two, and a ticket to see this one. It’s not meant to be watched alone anyway.
You’re welcome.
Reviews
[REVIEW] ‘The Dead Thing’ Takes Ghosting To A Whole New Level
The Dead Thing follows Alex (Blu Hunt), a young woman who works late hours, lives by the rays of a sunlamp, and is looking for the one connection that will make life seem less cyclical. When Alex meets Kyle (Ben Smith-Peterson), it seems like things will finally be going in her favor. But all that glitters is not gold. As quickly as he came, he vanished. Hurt, confused, and pissed, Alex tries to get to the bottom of why Kyle disappeared from her life. Some stones are meant to be left unturned.

Elric Kane has been a prominent voice in the film and horror space for a long time. One of my fondest memories of Kane is his longtime hosting gig on the Shock Waves Podcast. The amount of film knowledge and obscure films I learned about from him and Dr. Rebekah McKendry singlehandedly fueled my interest in collecting physical media. Hearing how passionate and intense they were with their love of the genre is also what started me down the path of writing. While Dr. McKendry has previously dipped her toes in the feature filmmaking game, it’s now time for Elric Kane to do so.
Cut to: The Dead Thing.
The Dead Thing follows Alex (Blu Hunt), a young woman who works late hours, lives by the rays of a sunlamp, and is looking for the one connection that will make life seem less cyclical. When Alex meets Kyle (Ben Smith-Peterson), it seems like things will finally be going in her favor. But all that glitters is not gold. As quickly as he came, he vanished. Hurt, confused, and pissed, Alex tries to get to the bottom of why Kyle disappeared from her life. Some stones are meant to be left unturned.
Writer/director Elric Kane’s (and co-writer Webb Wilcoxen) singular debut feature film is a superbly crafted supernatural spectacle. The Dead Thing starts slow and deliberate; rather than rushing into an overwritten plot with underwritten characters, Kane and Wilcoxen allow the audience to sit with Alex in her neverending love life. One aspect of Alex that I, and hopefully many will, appreciate is how Alex is written. Rarely does Alex feel written from the perspective of the male gaze. Her life may not be going in the exact direction she wants, but the film never makes it out to be a her problem. At no point do they try and make Alex out to be a floozy or condemn her for the life she’s living, instead they make those who live the same kind of lifestyle feel seen. The film asks the audience if they ever feel like there’s no escape; too many of us can relate to that.
It doesn’t matter how a character is written if the acting doesn’t deliver, and Blu Hunt delivers. Set aside the fact that she has one of the most badass names I’ve ever heard, Hunt provides an astounding lead performance. Whether she’s walking alone down a Los Angeles street, or playing off of her longtime friend Cara (Katherine Hughes), coworker Chris (John Karna), or the mysterious[ly handsome] Kyle, Hunt gives it her all. It helps that Ben Smith-Peterson and the supporting cast all give overwhelmingly brilliant performances.
Supernatural stories aren’t usually my go-to. They can be too overwritten, too style over substance, too “elevated”, or just plain boring. The Dead Thing quickly finds its footing and lets the audience accept it or not. Kane and cinematographer Ioana Vasile (who was a still photographer for Pontypool!!!) wonderfully capture the sometimes-solitary, sometimes-overstimulating beautiful hellscape that is Los Angeles. It should also be noted that one of my favorite actors in the world, Matt Mercer is a producer on this film.
The Dead Thing hits the perfect blend of claustrophobic loneliness and endless yearning. Just like Dr. Rebekah McKendry, it’s clear that Elric Kane doesn’t just talk the talk, he walks the walk. For his debut feature film, The Dead Thing doesn’t need resuscitation. I’d say run, don’t walk, to check this one out, but if you do…look left and right before crossing the street.
The Dead Thing hits Shudder on Friday, February 14! Watch it with your partner if you can, or watch it alone with a tub of ice cream and an overflowing glass of wine. I won’t judge.
Reviews
[REVIEW] ‘Bride of Chucky’ Takes The Franchise In A New Direction
Bride of Chucky follows two groups of people who inevitably meet up for a final climactic finale. Tiffany Valentine (Jennifer Tilly) procures Chucky’s (Brad Dourif) body following the events of Child’s Play 3. Her goal is to perform a voodoo ritual to put his soul back into a human’s body. Through a questionable series of events, Chucky kills Tiffany and puts her soul into the body of a doll. The side story follows Jade Kincaid (Katherine Heigl) and Jesse Miller (Nick Stabile) who elope, with a thousand dollars, from Jade’s overbearing police chief uncle Warren (John Ritter). After Chucky kills Warren, Jade and Jesse are fingered for the murder. That’s when hijinks ensue.

The Child’s Play franchise is all over the place. What started as a [fairly] serious slasher series surrounding a killer doll would morph into a Nightmare on Elm Street-like horror comedy before self-correcting to find a solid middle ground. I’ll be the first to admit that I have never really cared much for this franchise. Child’s Play frightened me when I was a kid, and it wouldn’t be until my college years that I decided to watch Bride and Seed–this altered my overall opinion of what the franchise stood for. Watching Child’s Play 2 and 3 back in college left me wondering how a franchise as culturally impactful as this one fluctuated in style and substance.
Bride of Chucky follows two groups of people who inevitably meet up for a final climactic finale. Tiffany Valentine (Jennifer Tilly) procures Chucky’s (Brad Dourif) body following the events of Child’s Play 3. Her goal is to perform a voodoo ritual to put his soul back into a human’s body. Through a questionable series of events, Chucky kills Tiffany and puts her soul into the body of a doll. The side story follows Jade Kincaid (Katherine Heigl) and Jesse Miller (Nick Stabile) who elope, with a thousand dollars, from Jade’s overbearing police chief uncle Warren (John Ritter). After Chucky kills Warren, Jade and Jesse are fingered for the murder. That’s when hijinks ensue.
Before the comments start, let’s return to the opening comment regarding Child’s Play turning into a horror comedy. Chucky was always one for quips. Like Freddy Krueger, Chucky would hit a one-liner shortly before or after his kill. These jokes worked to help cut through Chucky’s horror. It gave some momentary relief from the kills. Bride of Chucky is just one long gag, and for me, it’s frustrating. Like Nightmare, Bride of Chucky has lost the plot. Every scene seems to exist to facilitate a setup for the next bit or one-liner, rather than having moments of comedy flow naturally. The doll sex scene and swinger couple bits are just poorly thought-out filler.
I know this is going to anger some of you, but Bride of Chucky is a seriously awful movie.
There are a few moments that I do truly enjoy and work well in the overall Child’s Play universe. Tiffany kills the officer she buys Chucky’s body from with a nail file and then uses it to file her nails. The moment Tiffany stabs Chucky in the back at the cemetery is a great character moment, but it makes everything that led up to it pointless. With the exception of a few moments here and there, Bride of Chucky ends up being a chore to watch rather than entertainment. For a genre that has always been political, gay representation has been lacking for quite some time. The character of David Collins (Gordon Michael Woolvett) is a welcome addition to the story, but he feels underutilized in the grand scheme of it all.
While I may not care for the franchise much, I’ve done some research on it over the years. Bride of Chucky features many recycled bits from other Child’s Play scripts and you can really feel it. The kills are few and far between and feel overly forced. Child’s Play 4 was initially put on hold after the abysmal box office of Child’s Play 3 and maybe writer/director Don Mancini should have taken another year or so to really flesh out the canon of Chucky. Now, don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of Tiffany becoming a doll and becoming pregnant with Chucky’s baby. But I don’t think the ends justify the means.
Cult and Curse of Chucky, thankfully, take the series back to a more grounded and to-the-roots nature of what Child’s Play was, and I’m glad it took nearly a decade after Seed for it to come to fruition. Mancini is an excellent voice in horror, but time and constraints are necessary for his vision to be fully realized. Those who are Child’s Play die-hards will probably disagree with everything I’ve said, and that’s okay. As a casual Chucky fan, Bride of Chucky feels nothing more than a nu-metal, Hot Topic, try-hard entry into the franchise. The kills look solid, and Dourif gives an incredible vocal performance (as always) but there’s little to no substance to Bride of Chucky.
No wonder half of all marriages end in divorce.