Reviews
FIRE (AND SKULL SHIPS) IN THE SKY: ‘Kids vs Aliens’ (2022) Review
In high school, I was a massive fan of the grindhouse film Hobo With A Shotgun, probably to an annoying degree (sorry about that guys!). So obviously, I was delighted to find out its director Jason Eisener was heading a spin-off of his V/H/S series segment “Slumber Party Alien Abduction.” I was completely unaware that “Slumber Party” was one of his creations, primarily due to Eisener’s incredibly variable style. This newest venture is also borderline unrecognizable as a spin-off, but I’m glad Kids vs. Aliens is still pretty darn good.
A Sibling Story Meets Alien Chaos
Kids vs. Aliens follows the strained relationship of younger brother Gary (Dominic Mariche) and older sister Sam (Phoebe Rex). With their neglectful parents away, Sam’s attempt to throw a Halloween party to fit in spirals out of control. It gets even worse when aliens attack the gathering and take victims under the waters of the nearby lake.
The greatest hallmark of how different Kids vs. Aliens is from “Slumber Party” is in its incredibly different aesthetics. Muted camcorder footage has been traded up for much more professional wares, at the cost of verisimilitude. The found footage aspect has been dropped almost entirely, bar a few references to the kid’s home movies. Now we get an incredibly bright tone and very high saturation that makes costumes and lighting pop with a big flash of color. The vibes of the set design are bespoke when paired with this, giving us the most colorful Halloween party I’ve seen on screen in a while (you know, before it all gets jacked up). As a result of the trade-up, we also get some genuinely impressive underwater segments that I know had to be a pain to film but came out great.
A Shift from Terror to Campy Fun
The change in aesthetics also shows a clear shift in the film’s goals. Whereas “Slumber Party Alien Abduction” was terrifying and heartbreaking, this movie never aims for pulse-pounding fear. Outside of similar shots and mirroring plot, the tone is nothing like the original short film. This was admittedly disappointing at first since that was my main point of comparison.
My closest point of comparison now for this would be something like Psycho Goreman. This movie evokes much of the same charm that film had without inheriting its flaws. My second closest point of comparison would be a Goosebumps book if it had a parental advisory sticker. Which, make no mistake, is a good thing! When I came to terms with what this film was, I could enjoy it as a purely campy good time.
Stellar Cast with Comedic Chops
Beyond technical stuff, I greatly enjoyed the cast, all of whom have great comedic timing. Gary, Jack, and Miles are the central grace of this movie, delivering a bunch of surprisingly hilarious lines naturally; I didn’t expect to laugh as much as I did, but everybody just hit their beats right on time. Just like Mariche, Rex also sells herself nicely. You buy her as a wrestling junkie and devoted sister who secretly loves being the star of his homemade monster movies. Even when she’s swinging around an incredibly fake-looking sword, she’s giving a pretty good performance. And when things get serious, they can all pull back and deliver on sincere and sometimes sad moments.
You hear that?
It’s the sound of a film where someone gets liquefied, being more sincere than half of the big-budget releases this year.
A Memorably Vile Villain
The main human antagonist Billy (played by Calem MacDonald), is also so memorable because he must have the worst case of an anti-social personality disorder I’ve ever seen on film. He is downright evil in a way that becomes funny, then doubles back on being despicable again twice over. When he isn’t running for his life, he’s devoted to killing a group of kids who have done nothing to him other than be around. His consistency is incredible, and I don’t care if it’s bad character writing. I love it!
So, how are the aliens putting them in danger then? All right, mostly, heavily carried by how nasty the movie is willing to get with its special effects. You get some silly creature acting that’s a lot more haunted house than haunting, but I’m not complaining. Acid slime melting people and mutating ooze is the real star of the show, however, with everything looking the right level of viscous to make you go “ewww” at least once. The way some characters go out in this is messy, prolonged, and meanspirited in the best of ways.
Synth-Wave Soundtrack Hits the Right Notes
The last thing I should note is the music by Andrew Gordon MacPherson, a synth-wave-heavy soundtrack. It’s effectively equal parts Power Glove and Power Rangers, which fits the movie’s look nicely. It stands out as a pretty good addition to the catalog in a burgeoning era of horror, where I’ve noticed many filmmakers lean on the music to evoke feeling rather than accentuate it. While it is sometimes a bit louder than I would prefer for a scene, it’s a well-made OST that doesn’t try and force a mood. It just strikes the right balance it needs to.
In the end, Kids vs. Aliens may not utilize the full potential of its horrifying premise in the way its short film counterpart did. When it comes to scares, it’s severely lacking. But, as I’ve made clear in many of my reviews, being scared is rarely the end-all-be-all of a great horror movie, and you shouldn’t let that determine whether you see this one. Eisener’s latest endeavor is goofy and tongue-in-cheek, but incredibly heartfelt and well-made too. Its clunkiness in spots is definitively outweighed by its charm, so this is me saying it as strongly as I can: watch it.
Make sure you catch Kids Vs. Aliens on Shudder starting April 14th!
Reviews
‘Frankenstein’ Review: Guillermo Del Toro Is Off to the Races
Those expecting Guillermo Del Toro’s Frankenstein to be similar to the book, or to any other adaptation, are in for something else. A longtime enjoyer of the creature’s story, Del Toro instead draws from many places: the novel, James Whale’s culturally defining 1931 film, the Kenneth Branagh version, there are even hints from Terence Fisher’s Curse of Frankenstein, and if the set design and costuming are to be believed, there are trace elements of the National Theatre production too.
The formulation to breathe life into this amalgam is a sort of storm cloud of cultural memory and personal desire for Del Toro. This is about crafting his Frankenstein: the one he wanted to see since he was young, the vision he wanted to stitch together. What results is an experience that is more colorful and kinetic and well-loved by its creator than any Frankenstein we’ve had yet, but what it leaves behind is much of its gothic heart. Quiet darkness, looming dread, poetry, and romance are set aside as what has been sold as “the definitive retelling” goes off to the races. It’s a fast-paced ride through a world of mad science, and you’re on it.
Victor Frankenstein’s Ambition and Tragedy
A tale as old as time, with some changes: the morbid talents and untamed hubris of Victor Frankenstein (Oscar Isaac) guide him to challenge death itself. Spurred by a wealthy investor named Henrich Harlander, and a desire for Harlander’s niece Elizabeth (Mia Goth), Victor uses dead flesh and voltaic vigor to bring a creature to life. His attempts to rear it, however, go horribly wrong, setting the two on a bloody collision course as the definitions of man and monster become blurred.
Guillermo Del Toro’s Frankenstein is more Hellboy in its presentation than it is Crimson Peak; it’s honestly more similar to Coppola’s Dracula than either of them. The film is barely done with its opening when it starts with a loud sequence of the monster attacking Walton’s ship on the ice. Flinging crew members about and walking against volleys of gunfire, he is a monstrosity by no other name. The Creature (Jacob Elordi) cries out in guttural screams, part animal and part man, as it calls for its creator to be returned to him. While visually impressive (and it remains visually impressive throughout, believe me), this appropriately bombastic hook foreshadows a problem with tone and tempo.
A Monster That Moves Too Fast
The pace overall is far too fast for its first half, even with its heavy two-and-a-half-hour runtime. It’s also a far cry from the brooding nature the story usually takes. A scene where Victor demonstrates rudimentary reanimation to his peers and a council of judges is rapid, where it should be agonizingly slow. There’s horror and an instability in Victor to be emphasized in that moment, but the grotesque sight is an oddly triumphant one instead. Most do not revile his experiments; in fact he’s taken quite seriously.
Many scenes like this create a tonal problem that makes Victor’s tale lean more toward melodrama than toward philosophical or emotional aspects; he is blatantly wild and free, in a way that is respected rather than pitied. There are opportunities to stop, breathe in the Victorian roses and the smell of death, to get really dour, but it’s neglected until the film’s second half.
Isaac’s and Goth’s performances are overwrought at points, feeling more like pantomimes of Byronic characters. I’m not entirely convinced it has more to do with them than with the script they’re given. Like Victor working with the parts of inmates and dead soldiers, even the best of actors with the best of on-screen chemistry are forced to make do. The dialogue has incredibly high highs (especially in its final moments), but when it has lows, how low they are; a character outright stating that “Victor is the real monster” adage to his face was an ocean floor piece of writing if there ever was one.
Isaac, Goth, and Elordi Bring Life to the Dead
Jacob Elordi’s work here, however, is blameless. Though Elordi’s physical performance as the creature will surely win praise, his time speaking is the true highlight. It’s almost certainly a definitive portrayal of the character; his voice for Victor’s creation is haunted with scorn and solitude, the same way his flesh is haunted by the marks of his creator’s handiwork. It agonizes me to see so little of the books’ most iconic lines used wholesale here, because they would be absolutely perfect coming from Elordi. Still, he has incredible chemistry with both Isaac and Goth, and for as brief as their time together is, he radiates pure force.
Frankenstein Is a Masterclass in Mise-En-Scène
Despite its pacing and tone issues, one can’t help but appreciate the truly masterful craftsmanship Del Toro has managed to pack into the screen. Every millimeter of the sets is carved to specification, filled with personality through to the shadows. Every piece of brick, hint of frost, stain of blood, and curve of the vine is painstakingly and surgically placed to create one of the most wonderful and spellbinding sets you’ve seen—and then it keeps presenting you with new environments like that, over, and over.
At the very least, Del Toro’s Frankenstein is a masterpiece of mise-en-scène down to the minutest of details, and that makes it endlessly rewatchable for aesthetic purposes. This isn’t even getting into the effervescent lighting, or how returning collaborator Kate Hawley has outdone herself again with the costuming. Guillermo Del Toro tackling the king of gothic horror stories, a story written by the mother of all science fiction, inevitably set a high bar for him to clear. And while it’s not a pitch perfect rendering of Mary Shelley’s slow moving and Shakespearean epistolary, it is still one of the best-looking movies you will see all year.
Perhaps for us, it’s at the cost of adapting the straightforward, dark story we know into something more operatic. It sings the tale like a soprano rather than reciting it like humble prose, and it doesn’t always sing well. But for Del Toro, the epic scale and voice of this adaptation is the wage expected for making the movie he’s always dreamed of. Even with its problems, it’s well worth it to see a visionary director at work on a story they love.
Reviews
‘The Siege of Ape Canyon’ Review: Bigfoot Comes Home
In my home, films like Night of the Demon and Abominable are played on repeat; Stan Gordon is king. One of my favorite stories surrounding Bigfoot and Ufology is the Bigfoot/UFO double flap of 1973, which Stan Gordon has an incredible in-depth book on. The Patterson–Gimlin film couldn’t hold a flame to Stan Gordon’s dive into one of my home state’s most chronicled supernatural time periods. But as much as I love the Bigfoot topic, I’m not ashamed to say I don’t know half of the stories surrounding that big hairy beast. And one topic that I’m not ashamed to say I haven’t heard of is The Siege of Ape Canyon.
The Harrowing Events of Ape Canyon
Washington State, 1924. A group of miners (originally consisting of Marion Smith, Leroy P. Smith, Fred Beck, John Peterson, August Johannson, and Mac Rhodes) was on a quest to claim a potential gold mine. Literally. The miners would eventually set up camp on the east slope of Mount Saint Helens. Little did they know their temporary shelter would be the start of a multi-day barrage of attacks from what they and researchers believed to be Bigfoot. What transpired in those days would turn out to be one of the most highly criticized pieces of American lore, nearly lost to time and history…nearly.
I need to set the record straight on a few things before we get started. One, I don’t typically like watching documentaries. Two, I believe in Bigfoot. Three, this documentary made me cry.

Image courtesy of Justin Cook Public Relations.
Reviving a Forgotten Bigfoot Legend in The Siege of Ape Canyon
Documentarian Eli Watson sets out to tell one of the most prolific Bigfoot stories of all time (for those who are deep in Bigfoot mythology). It’s noted fairly early in the film that this story is told often and is well known in the Washington area. So then, how do people outside of the incident location know so little about it? I’ve read at least 15 books on and about Bigfoot, and I’ve never once heard this story. This isn’t a Stan-Gordon-reported story about someone sitting on the john and seeing a pair of red eyes outside of their bathroom window. The story around Ape Canyon has a deeper spiritual meaning that goes beyond a few sightings here and there.
Watson’s documentary, though, isn’t just about Bigfoot or unearthing the story of Ape Canyon. Ape Canyon nearly became nothing more than a tall tale that elders would share around a campfire to keep the younglings out of the woods at 2 AM. If it weren’t for Mark Myrsell, that’s exactly what would have happened. The Siege of Ape Canyon spends half its time unpacking the story of Fred Beck and his prospecting crew, and the other half tells a truly inspiring tale of unbridled passion, friendship, and love.
Mark Myrsell’s Relentless Pursuit: Friendship, Truth, and Tears
Mark Myrsell’s undying passion for everything outdoors inevitably led to bringing one of Bigfoot’s craziest stories to light. His devotion to the truth vindicated many people who were (probably) labeled kooks and crazies. Throughout Myrsell’s endless search for the truth, he made lifelong friends along the way. What brought me to tears throughout The Siege of Ape Canyon is Watson’s insistence on showing the human side of Myrsell and his friends. They’re not in this to make millions or bag a Bigfoot corpse; they just want to know the truth. And that’s what they find.
The Siege of Ape Canyon is a documentary that will open your eyes to a wildly mystical story you may not have heard of. And it does it pretty damn well. Whereas many documentaries feel the need to talk down to the viewer just to educate them, Watson’s documentary takes you along for the ride. It doesn’t ask you to believe or not believe in Bigfoot. It allows you to make your own decisions and provides the evidence it needs to. If you’ve ever had a passing interest in the topic of Bigfoot, or if you think you’re the next Stan Gordon, I highly recommend watching The Siege of Ape Canyon.
The Siege of Ape Canyon stomps its way onto digital platforms on November 11. Give yourself a little post-Halloween treat and check it out!


