Reviews
My Christmas Tradition: Watching ‘Krampus’
Some folks will watch A Christmas Story every year for Christmas. Some folks will watch A Charlie Brown Christmas. Me? Every year I watch Krampus. It’s not just my favorite Christmas horror movie but it’s one of my all-time favorite Christmas movies. It’s up there with Elf for me.
Why Krampus Is My Favorite Christmas Horror Movie
There are a handful of good Christmas-themed horror movies—Silent Night Deadly Night, Black Christmas, the Black Christmas remake, Better Watch Out—but my absolute favorite is Krampus. The idea of a horror movie taking place during a holiday that isn’t Halloween appeals to me but this movie feels genuinely like a rotted family Christmas movie which is what makes it so absolutely delicious.
A Hilarious and Chaotic Opening Scene
The movie opens with a slow motion scene showing folks fighting in stores while “It’s beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” plays. We pan through a department store and see families fist fighting and one pair of parents even getting stun gunned by security. We see kids screaming and crying on Santa’s lap. We end with our main character, Max (Emjay Anthony), dressed as a reindeer physically fighting another kid dressed as Jesus during a Christmas recital as his parents run in and his sister laughs while recording it.
The opening alone warms my heart. As someone who has worked retail during more holiday seasons than I care to admit, this barely feels like a parody. It rings true and that’s exactly why I love it so much. There has never been a single holiday season that has gone by where I haven’t been yelled at by some deranged parents blaming me for us not having what they’re looking for. The holiday season isn’t all beautiful decorations and fun family times.
A Dysfunctional Family That Feels Real
Another reason I love this movie is that the family barely likes each other. Which, again, rings more true than some big happy family where everyone seems to be besties and no one is awkwardly bringing up politics. As someone with an extremely liberal mother and extremely conservative father, I relate to the nightmare that is older conservative relatives voicing their bad opinions.
Toni Collette plays Sarah, a mother on the verge of a nervous breakdown who is trying to keep it together for the holiday. Adam Scott plays Tom, a nice pushover dad who is also kind of a dick. Allison Tolman plays Aunt Linda, who is well-meaning but has a family full of goblins. David Koechner plays Uncle Howard, who is basically every idiot conservative uncle. Conchata Ferrell plays Aunt Dorothy, who is basically every mean older conservative family member.
The Heartwarming Bond Between Max and Omi
But, despite all the fucked up family relations, there’s also some heart to this movie. At the center of the film are Max and his grandma Omi (Krista Stadler)—they genuinely love and understand each other. Omi speaks German and Max speaks English—and as a kid who grew up very close with his Puerto Rican grandma, I find their relationship to be sweet. Omi watches as the family bickers and fights, giving Max knowing looks and never judging him for getting into fights. While I never got into fights as a kid, I definitely didn’t quite fit in with the rest of my family as the big queer nerd of the group. But my grandma and I would watch cartoons, horror movies, and telenovelas together whenever she watched me while my parents worked. We would also give each other knowing looks at family dinners whenever anyone was annoying. So, yes I get emotional every time I watch the grandma sacrifice herself to give her family time to get away.
The movie should feel crowded but it never does—it feels the right amount of full for a movie about a family coming together during the holidays. The first act is fully just a Christmas movie too, which completely works. It’s the perfect movie to put on while partaking in some holiday fun. It starts off chaotic, then gets warm and cozy, then delves into complete chaos. Which is basically the journey I go on when wrapping presents.
The fact that this movie makes me happy and is something I watch every December probably says more about me than anything else. But also, what fun is watching some boring happy family movie?
A Family That Fights Together
The family in this movie feels more real than most in holiday or horror movies. It’s what makes each of them getting picked off feel more brutal. This isn’t a family that shares the same values, it’s a family that barely tolerates each other—but they still all fight together in the end, even if they don’t win. Even the freakin’ baby gets taken by the Christmas-themed demons.
In the end, Max pleads with Krampus—only to get thrown into his pit of fire. We end with the family waking up on Christmas morning together and they all exchange grim looks. I interpret the ending as Krampus keeping them all prisoner but it can also be interpreted as Krampus letting them go and just keeping an eye on them. I’m not normally a fan of a bleak ending, but in this instance, I kind of love it because it’s scored and shot like it’s a heartwarming Christmas movie ending.
So, grab your hot cocoa and gingerbread cookies and watch Krampus with me while we angrily wrap presents together.
A Hostage Plot With Deadly Consequences
Philip Hopkins (Lance Holcomb) is a strange kid who seems to prefer critters, both tiny and slimy, over kids his own age. And his debilitating asthma doesn’t help much. His mother, Ruth (Cornelia Sharpe), has to leave town for a few days. She leaves Philip in the care of their housemaid, Louise (Susan George), and his grandfather, Howard (Sterling Hayden). But things go off the rails when the family driver, Dave (Oliver Reed), reveals he and Louise have some deadly tricks up their sleeves. Unfortunately for them, a mix-up at a local animal store leads to an even deadlier trick up Philip’s sleeve.
Venom Provides A Unique Take on Snake Horror Inside the Home
Snake horror has typically kept audiences in a jungle or woodland setting, so finding ourselves trapped inside with a Black Mamba is different and unique. But the constant cutting back and forth between the antagonists and the hapless police commander cuts much of the edge out of the film, which is a shame. Venom is penned by Robert Carrington, whose Wait Until Dark opened my eyes to how different types of horror can be effective. Carrington weaponized blindness and trust in a way that frightened me to my core. Knowing that he was the scriptwriter made me feel like I was in for a chamber piece of slimy terror. While Venom still managed to chill me, I’m left wondering what could have been had the film stuck to a singular location.
Standout Performances Drive the Tension in Venom
The true magic of Venom comes not from the snake, but from two of the co-leads. Klaus Kinski and Oliver Reed grab this film’s pacing by the throat and keep it in a chokehold. Kinski plays Jacmel as a snake. He slithers his way around in a calculating way, ready to attack with his venomous “bite” at the drop of a hat. In comparison, Reed plays Dave, almost, as a Kuklinski-like villain. Reed takes no prisoners and wants to leave no one alive. The way these two clash, even though they’re after the same thing, provides one of the most fascinating performances in horror history. (Yes, I know Klaus Kinski is a genuinely bad person.)
One of the first YouTube channels I both subscribed to and ‘clicked the bell’ for was Crypt TV. Alongside Omeleto (which came shortly after), Crypt TV regularly and proudly pushed incredible, independent, short-form genre content into my feed. And I would always eat it up. For those curious, Crypt TV is still platforming wonderful horror for those cool cats out there who love horror. The latest short film to find a home on their channel is a nifty, slightly absurdist, slightly liminal, (and shot on 35mm!) all-around haunting piece of horror called Housewife. Spoiler alert, it’s worth your time.
A Bloody Accident Sparks the Horror in Housewife
Housewife follows Julia (Shannon Collis), who accidentally cuts her finger while tidying up and bleeds on a long-forgotten dollhouse. Life gets flipped upside down when Julia’s blood becomes one with the dollhouse.
I have covered tons of short films as singular pieces and in blocks. Short films, I’ve always said, are the cornerstone of horror. In a quantitative sense, more creativity has cumulatively shone in short films than in features (that I have seen). Housewife continues that streak. Its premise is simple, but not in a way that feels underwritten. Writer/directors Greta Guthrie and Jake Lazarow’s short film, based on Miranda Parkin’s original character, is as impactful as it is frightening.
A Refreshing and Terrifyingly Original Creature Concept
Post-Bakemono, I was worried that I may have seen it all. At the end of the day, how many original ideas can be left? Parkin’s character is beyond unique; it’s a nightmare I never thought I would have. The idea of a doll house coming to life doesn’t sound scary one bit. Parkin, Guthrie, and Lazarow proved me wrong. Assuming that Housewife is a proof of concept, which, if it’s not, it damn well should be, they have set themselves up for nothing but success.
When it comes to shorts going feature, budgeting must come into play. Many short films create worlds and characters that are too big for the producer types who use short films as potential investments. Housewife’s creature is wildly creative, scary, and great for a low-budget/indie feature. Parkin’s creature checks, as stated earlier, an absurdist and liminal box at the same time, while being easily scalable to a feature-length capacity.
A New Nightmare You Can Watch Now on Crypt TV
Housewife is intriguing, frightening, unique, and all around fun. There’s something special about being introduced to a new fear. And Parkin’s creature has now dug its way deep into my subconscious. The unfortunate thing about short films, usually, is that I can talk about them…but they’re not available to watch. Have no fear, Crypt TV is here! Housewife can be seen over on the Crypt TV YouTube channel so that you, too, can find a new nightmare.
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