Reviews
GROWING PAINS: A Spoiler-Filled Review of ‘Orphan: First Kill’
Isabelle Fuhrman’s return to the role of Esther is full of curveballs and whiplashes of horror fun. In my first Orphan review, I asked if anybody had asked for this film to happen. Was it worth it? Did this movie need to be made? Yes. Emphatically, yes. I had a lot of preconceived notions and thoughts about how this movie would be a snooze-worthy rehash of Jaume Collet-Seura’s work. Still, I am happy to eat my humble pie and say that entering the third act of this film, I was COMPLETELY and UTTERLY incorrect. This movie has a rough start, but it is very, VERY good, and has a twist I didn’t see coming at all.
My spoiler-free review: it’s unreasonably good for a sequel to a 13-year-old movie; not perfect, but pretty great if you’re not looking for straight-laced, hair-raising horror. If you liked the first one a lot, you’ll probably like this. Don’t watch this if you haven’t seen the first because it will kill everything fun about the original. Alright, everybody cleared out? Good, onto the
SPOILERS AHEAD
Yes, once again, it’s the classic story of a young girl who is a grown woman with dwarfism, turned con artist, turned serial killer. Tale as old as time, I know. But that tale is being told with a fun spin on it.
In the directing chair this time is William Brent Bell, director for both of The Boy movies. Honestly, his directing isn’t anything to write home about, with its occasionally poorly composed shots and focus issues. Still, it does serve to fulfill the illusion they’re trying to pull off by making the 5’3 Fuhrman look a foot shorter (even if there are some funny shots meant to show off “Hey, she makes a convincing kid, right? We did good, huh?”).
There’s some wonky editing at points, like with the simulated one take early on, but it works all in all. Cinematographer Karim Hussain of Possessor fame makes some pretty good lighting choices, especially with Esther’s first meeting with an art therapist at the asylum she’s locked up in; I can appreciate the novel use of some flashing red emergency lights giving you glimpses of the tiny terror.
And when it comes to selling the illusion, we must address the makeup and costuming, as Doug Morrow and the rest of the makeup unit’s work is stellar in creating a charming, practical look for Fuhrman. While it’s occasionally funny looking, I prefer it to any clunky attempts to digitally de-age Fuhrman that would have been employed by a lesser crew.
Regarding the structure of the film, the intro sequence is pretty good since it drops any pretense of us not knowing about the first film, but that welcome wears out. The first half of the movie is regrettably where it feels much more like a retread of the 2009 film than its own entity. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT let that drive you away searching for a new movie to watch; it’s just something I must warn you about. This all changes around the 50-minute mark.
In a returning performance, Isabelle Fuhrman isn’t as genuinely frightening as she was in the original. Still, I think that has a lot to do with the plot structure less than her ability to be scary. Esther, as a threat feels a little sillier this time around as a villain you love-to-hate, and angles on her as a sociopath con man who happens to have killing as a side hustle. She’s very mustache twirly when no one is around, with a full suiting up montage to her own piano music, and it’s very fun.
As far as the other performers go, the highlight is Julia Stiles, who at first seems like she’s treating this with a much more serious performance than it deserves, with Tricia mirroring Farmiga’s grounded character from the first film and sounding dire and dour all the time…
But then the whole world of this film goes batshit insane.
The bold choice to turn her from a protagonist to a deuteragonist who is just as mean-spirited and evil as Esther made me love this movie and flip from mildly bored to thoroughly entertained. Matthew Finlan’s Gunnar as her conspirator isn’t anything special with clunky line deliveries and dialogue, but his demise is especially enjoyable.
As far as the other performances go, Esther’s newfound father, Allen is flat feeling against the exceptional Tricia, but he’s doing the best he can with the crumbs he’s allotted. The character of Detective Donnan is kind of just a lurking cop gargoyle with a preternatural amount of insight on Esther being evil. Still, he makes the perfect red herring as Esther’s would-be nemesis in the little dose we get of him.
I wouldn’t mind seeing this become a low-budget yearly franchise, just going through the families she terrorized on her way through America. You know, before eventually getting kicked into a frozen lake.
BOTTOMLINE: The film doesn’t just avoid the pitfall of being a safe, predictable sequel; it does a triple backflip over the pit for extra style and doesn’t overstay its welcome. This is a solid “must-watch” addition to your docket of movies for this weekend.
You can watch Orphan: First Kill on Paramount+!
Reviews
Brooklyn Horror Film Festival 2025: ‘Buffet Infinity’ Review
Within the found footage subgenre exists an even more niche and untapped market. Screen life has slowly overtaken found footage; hardcore fans, like myself, ache for something different. One of the more interesting sub-subgenres of found footage is something that I don’t think has a name yet, so let’s name it here and now. How about…TV-gone-rogue! The TV-gone-rogue subgenre is small. Ghostwatch got the ball rolling for these gone rogue-like films, but there was radio silence for quite some time. It would be Chris LaMartina’s WNUF Halloween Special that really brought this idea back into the limelight. Many filmmakers have tried to make TV-gone-rogue interesting, and many have failed. That is until Simon Glassman stepped onto the scene with Buffet Infinity.
Buffet Infinity: A Chaotic Tale of Westridge
The town (city?) of Westridge is whisked into chaos when the new Buffet Infinity restaurant rolls into town. Local sandwich shop owner Jennifer Avery (Allison Bench) is the first to take the soon-to-be conglomerate to task with increasingly pointed advertisements. Suddenly, local restaurant owners/workers go missing in droves as Buffet Infinity expands into neighboring businesses. Sinkholes, missing cityfolk, quarantines, and mysterious sounds abound, leaving residents to ask one question…who really has the sauce?
On the Brooklyn Horror Film Festival schedule, the header image for Buffet Infinity shows multiple people T-posing and floating in the sky. I was immediately sold. I had no clue what I was getting into, and I didn’t want to know. The film was introduced as “one of the craziest we have this year.” (Slightly paraphrasing.) What was I about to watch? Little did I know, it was about to be an hour and forty minutes of small-town madness.
Writers Allison Bench and Elisia Snyder, and writer-director Simon Glassman, transport viewers into an upside down world of weaponized local ads; a thriving town invaded by the deep pockets of monopolized capitalism. As someone who grew up in a decently sized town, though probably not large enough to be considered a city, there was a tinge of nostalgia that accompanied Buffet Infinity. Westridge feels cozy and intimate, a town where everyone knows your name. It’s a “baked in a buttery flaky crust” town. Sure, they have their McDonald’s and Burger Kings, but the real townsfolk eat at Jennifer’s sandwich shop–local knitting circles murmur about what they think is in Jennifer’s secret sauce. Simply put, Westridge feels like a home that many people like myself grew up in. And it reminds us of a simpler time that’s long gone.
A Unique Blend of Humor and Eldritch Terror
Buffet Infinity hides its horror well. It slowly guides the viewer into a sense of unease. As easily as the creators have you laughing, they have you squirming. The absurdist joy quickly transforms into Eldritch terrors from beyond. Many filmmakers say they’re inspired by the idea of it’s-not-what-you-see that’s scary, but many times it feels performative. Bench, Glassman, and Snyder have crafted a truly special script that edges you with terror and excitement. They constantly push you to the edge of release, and then back away. It’s the Japanese water torture of exposition. And, for me, it works incredibly well.
One of the most important aspects of Buffet Infinity is the over-capitalization of our lives. While the creators tackle this idea in a tongue-in-cheek manner, their message is highly effective. For the most part. This constant tete-a-tete between Buffet Infinity and the locals is highly amusing, but brings a larger conversation to the forefront. The town I grew up in is a shadow of what it once was. And I know many feel the same about the towns they grew up in. I can already hear the moans of people who dislike this film: “Brandon, it’s not that deep.” And I would highly disagree. Buffet Infinity feels like a reflective protest film–a loud and proud middle finger at what we should have said when the Super Walmart put mom and pops out of business.
Sorry, this review has gone off the rails. Let’s reel it back in a bit.
Why Buffet Infinity Redefines Found Footage
Buffet Infinity is a riotous romp, a hilarious horror that goes from zero to 100 pretty damn fast. Each commercial slowly builds on its last and uniquely tells its story. This film sets a new precedent for the TV-gone-rogue subgenre. Not to directly compare, but a film like WNUF Halloween Special (a film I love) uses its commercials as a coda; it’s a separation of what you saw/heard and prepares you for the next movement. Buffet Infinity uses its commercial to create the story. Instead of watching news pieces, then irrelevant commercials, then back to news pieces, Buffet Infinity breaks the mold. Hell, it creates the mold.
As someone who has been dying to see a Welcome to Nightvale film, Buffet Infinity is the closest thing I could ask for. It is full of killer performances (looking at you, Ahmed Ahmed), is well-crafted, and sets a new precedent on an underutilized side of found footage. Buffet Infinity is a full-course meal. I highly suspect that Buffet Infinity will gather the unwavering support that Hundreds of Beavers gathered and will go on to be considered an instant classic of the 2020s.
Reviews
Brooklyn Horror Film Fest 2025: ‘It Needs Eyes’ Review
We are all very much aware of how much time we spend on our phones. More importantly, anyone on the internet can see how younger generations are impacted by being constantly online. So, Zack Ogle and Aaron Pagniano’s new film, It Needs Eyes, is preaching to the choir. However, it adds creepy layers to the conversations many of us are already having today.
It Needs Eyes follows a teen named Rowan (Raquel Lebish) who is moving in with her aunt after a traumatic event. Her aunt Mella (Lydia Fiore) hasn’t spoken to the family in years. So, her relationship with her niece is strained to say the least. However, she has stepped in now that Rowan’s father is in the hospital. Further widening their divide is the fact that Rowan is glued to her phone.
The Internet Is Scary
We see Rowan watching random videos, as she tries to distract herself from her own thoughts while she worries about her father. However, soon, cat videos aren’t doing it for her, and she starts to find extreme videos online. Things escalate to the point that she is watching self-harm videos and clips of people dying. This addiction begins to make it hard for her to connect with the people around her, including her new neighbor and love interest, Alex (Isadora Leiva).
It Needs Eyes has a protagonist that many can relate to. After all, aren’t we all using these smart devices to hide from our own problems? Who among us hasn’t lost an embarrassing amount of hours watching videos and reels? However, because it’s driving in the internet addiction lane, Rowan’s need for content escalates. She needs darker videos in the same way that someone makes the leap into harder drugs. Her journey parallels nicely with her father’s battle with addiction, which is one of the many things Rowan doesn’t seem ready to face.
Addiction and Loneliness are a Deadly Combo
Rowan’s addiction, loneliness, and inability to fully connect with people not on her phone eventually leads her to stumble across the ultimate score. She discovers a woman named Fishtooth (Lola Blanc) who made videos in the 80s and seemingly disappeared. Rowan cannot let this mystery go and soon begins to follow clues that Fishtooth may be closer than she thinks. This is where the creepy mystery thread begins to weave itself around all of the other threads of the film. Before Fishtooth was introduced, I was starting to worry this movie would just be seven fucked up images in a trench coat.
It Needs Eyes is one of those movies you go back and forth on. I loved discussing the themes of it in the bar after the Brooklyn Horror Film Fest screening. I even really dug some of the twisted imagery and topics it manages to tackle. The movie deserves some respect for how it handles so many issues surrounding internet culture without straying too far from its path. If you’re looking for a dark exploration of how the internet is absorbing us and preventing us from being present in our actual lives, this is your movie. It’s an interesting and at times disturbing reminder that we should all unplug more often.


