Reviews
‘Witchboard’ Review : New Coven, Who Dis?

Those of us hoping Chuck Russell’s Witchboard remake would be a pleasant surprise found ourselves with a mixed bag. At times, it feels like 1990s supernatural fodder blended with a knockoff of a CW horror drama aimed at tweens. This is sad because most of us were assuming this take on Kevin Tenney’s 1986 film of the same name would be fun. Or at least push the envelope forward as it is being reimagined nearly forty years later.
Witchboard Returns With An R Rating
Another reason some of us were excited to see Witchboard is that Russell directed, produced, and co-wrote this reimagining. He helmed The Blob and A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, so he knows what a fun horror movie should look like. However, we are met with a 112-minute runtime that is unearned. While this film has little in common with the original, it also avoids ever doing anything too interesting. Instead, it settles on a rather pedestrian and frustratingly predictable tale that lacks thrills. The film has an R rating, and I have no clue how it achieved that with its almost basic cable sensibilities.
Some Missed Opportunities
This iteration of Witchboard is set in present-day New Orleans. Emily (Madison Iseman), Christian (Aaron Dominguez), and some of their friends are opening a restaurant in the French Quarter. However, those plans are derailed when Emily finds (and becomes obsessed with) the cursed board. She unknowingly falls for a trap set by a vengeful witch willing to kill for her own gains. Yet, all of the reveals are toothless, and none of the attempted scares land. So, this movie feels very paint-by-the-numbers, and you can see where it’s going from the very beginning. Instead of making this one-note story fun or exciting, the team serves a very bland movie.
We soon find out that Emily battled to get sober not so long ago, as it comes up a lot. Her fiancé continually asks her if she’s using again. His friend/ex-girlfriend Brooke (Melanie Jarnson) explains Emily’s addictive personality is the reason she’s such an easy target for the board. We even get her former dealer trying to catch her at a funeral and calling to offer her heroin. Witchboard harps on Emily’s past but never does anything with it aside from reminding her and the audience about it. It’s one of the many things that feel underdeveloped in this film.
Subtly Doesn’t Exist in Witchboard
Through completely obvious and predictable means, Alexander Babtiste (Jamie Campbell Bower) gets involved with this couple and this cursed item. He’s an occult expert who is asked to help save Emily’s soul, but the script doesn’t do anything subtly. Witchboard announces he’s the big bad from the beginning, so we have to suspect everyone who works with him is also evil. While Bower gives one of the stronger performances, his character is written like a cartoon villain. This especially hurts because wherever you land on Stranger Things, you know Bower can play a damn good bad guy. However, he’s sadly one of the many wasted opportunities in this film.
While this version of Witchboard should be more modern, bold, and scary, it curiously feels like it takes many steps backward. The original film had a bromance that felt like it would have been a romance in more modern times. This new version shoves away that glimmer of queerness and instead makes the main trio of characters very hetero. However, you almost forget to throw tomatoes for those reasons because the casting department has given us another prime example of why we have to start having more conversations about colorism.
And Another Thing!
This movie is set in New Orleans. However, I can count the Black actors with dialog on one finger, and the Black actors I saw on screen with one hand. They were able to hire a few more to be bodies when things go down later in the film. While I am begging for more POC representation in general, I can’t help noticing the media’s aversion to casting actors with darker skin tones. It’s almost as if the powers that be aren’t aware that POC can have a variety of skin tones. I write this while looking at my own pasty legs and glaring at my computer.
This is not to take away from how happy I was to see Dominguez and Jarnson on screen. If anything, I would love to see them in better movies so I can see what they are actually capable of. However, I am also tired of the industry-wide problem. We have seen so many horror movies this summer, which also didn’t get the memo that Brown people can be Brown.
Why Remake Witchboard?
I cannot say Witchboard is a good time. I tried to convince myself that it might be so bad it’s good, but that would be a lie. Aside from the embarrassingly bad CGI and a few smartphones, there is nothing to really anchor this movie in this decade. It could’ve easily been a late ’80s or early ’90s effort. Which begs the question, why this remake now? If it doesn’t want to be in conversation with anything going on today, why touch the IP? It would have been cool to push the premise forward for a more modern audience. Instead, we have a toothless reimagining that overstayed its welcome. For why? For Whomst?
Reviews
‘The Innkeepers’ (2011) Review: Ti West’s Horror Gem

A little over a year ago, I had the opportunity to catch a new film that reminded me of one of the films that sparked my interest in analyzing films in the first place. Sweet Relief was a fun and well-crafted modern mumblegore film that brought Ti West’s The Innkeepers back into my mind. I first watched The Innkeepers shortly before leaving for college, and I was stunned by how incredibly effective it was. To celebrate Dark Sky Select’s 4K steelbook release of The Innkeepers, I decided to give the film a well-deserved rewatch.
The Innkeepers: A Haunting Ghost Story
The Innkeepers follows Claire (Sara Paxton) and Luke (Pat Healy), the last two employees of The Yankee Pedlar Inn. Claire and Luke find themselves working during the hotel’s last week in operation. They also happen to be amateur ghost hunters. Due to the small number of guests, Claire and Luke have some time to put their ghost hunting tools to good use. As the hunting begins, the terror checks in. Is there more to this ghost story than meets the eye?
Before his flashy slasher trilogy, Ti West’s films had a darker, more personal feel to them. After wowing audiences with his satanic panic masterpiece The House of the Devil, Ti West tackled the true terrors of the supernatural. As much as I adore Ti West, this would be his last film that perfectly balances style and substance. Obviously, the goal of an artist is to grow and transform as a filmmaker, but this feels like West’s last intimate film.
Mumblegore Dialogue: Natural and Grounded
The Innkeepers keeps with the mumblegore-like dialogue West was so great at creating. There’s still that improvisational, but naturalistic, feel to their words. And while the situation becomes extraordinary, the dialogue still feels grounded in reality. Somehow, for a 2011 film, West finds a way to competently direct actors in saying the words “epic” and “failblog”. It’s the exposition of the film that truly sets it apart from others like it. While talking with a child in the lobby, Claire reveals the backstory of Madeline O’Malley and her untimely suicide in the hotel. It’s a small moment that could easily be a throwaway detail to provide the audience with the necessary backstory. But it’s Sara Paxton’s performance that sells the scene.
Speaking of, both Sara Paxton and indie darling Pat Healy absolutely tear it up on screen. Sara Paxton’s performance is reserved and lived in. She carries herself awkwardly, with little self-confidence, but still finds a way to be charming. Indie darling Pat Healy chews up the scenery with his Tintin-like faux hawk and a Red Bull-infused high energy. Not only do they steal their respective scenes alone, but they also play off each other like a fast-paced tennis volley.
Supernatural Horror Done Right
Ti West’s magnum opus handles the supernatural element in a much cleaner, fascinating way than most ghost films. The slow pace highlights the mundanity of working-class life that quickly becomes tense through the creeping terror of Madeline O’Malley and her growing cohorts of terror. There’s a certain unbalanced feel to the film’s three-act structure that lends an air of authenticity to it. Whereas most supernatural films feel the need to do more, The Innkeepers understands that it’s okay to do less. It’s how the scares are delivered that sets this film apart.
If you haven’t seen The Innkeepers, then you’re truly missing out on one of the subgenre’s greatest hits. That being said, I don’t think this film is for everyone. Ti West asks a lot from his audience, and I can understand that some people won’t want to go with him on this ride. It’s talky and demands full attention. But if you’re willing to sit with the film and let it work its magic, you won’t be disappointed.
Reviews
[REVIEW] Fantastic Fest 2025: ‘Primate’ Is the Animal-Attack-Meets-Slasher Movie You Didn’t Know You Needed

If that one scene in Nope (you know the one) wasn’t enough to convince you that owning a chimpanzee is a bad idea, Primate is here to remind you that these animals can literally rip you limb from limb. Directed by Johannes Roberts, who also co-wrote the script with Ernest Riera, the film is scheduled to release in January—and if it wasn’t on your radar before, allow me to firmly add it.
PSA: Primate Proves That Chimps Are Not Pets (But They Are Great Slasher Killers)
Primate begins with a pre-credits scene introducing us to the danger: a vet has been called to check in on a chimp named Ben that isn’t feeling so hot, only to discover the hard way that the super-strong animal has gone rabid. It’s an evocative opening, though it does create a little timeline confusion when we jump back in time a few days to follow Lucy (Johnny Sequoyah) as she returns home to Hawaii to see her family and their unusual pet.
Her late mother, we learn, worked with Ben for years before her death, and he remains a beloved member of the family, able to communicate most basic needs via the use of sign language and a special tablet. Ben is acting a little off, though, so Lucy’s father (Academy Award-winner Troy Kotsur, in a stand-out role) calls in the vet we’ve already seen die before heading out for the night.
Of course, we know that Ben has rabies, so it’s only a matter of time before he goes bananas. In the meantime, Lucy, her sister, and their friends get to living it up while they have the place to themselves. The family owns a gorgeous secluded mansion complete with a cliffside infinity pool, and if you’ve seen The Strangers: Prey at Night, you’ll know Roberts loves a pool. He quickly finds a reason to drive the young people into it and trap them there—but just because chimps can’t swim, that doesn’t mean they’re safe.
Blending Animal Attack Horror with Slasher Thrills in Primate
One of the biggest things going for Primate is its ability to blend classic animal attack horror with slasher elements. The film draws clear inspiration from Cujo, but where the Trentons were largely safe from the beast’s foaming maw (if not the sun) so long as they stayed inside their vehicle, Lucy and friends aren’t so lucky. As the tagline for Primate warns, Ben is “dangerously close to human,” which means he understands how to use tools and constantly finds creative ways to take a swipe at his prey whenever they and the audience let their guard down. The sicker the chimp gets, the more he seems to radiate a savage, all-too-human glee.
At the same time, Roberts and Riera’s script leverages the communication gap between Ben and the family to devastating effect. Ben is so close to being able to tell them what’s wrong before his rabies progresses to the point of no return, but he doesn’t quite have the language. The fact that Lucy’s father is deaf adds an additional layer to the tragedy: we see how expressive the family is able to be through non-verbal communication, yet Ben is still isolated in his misery.
Toward the climax, however, even this form of communication starts to break down as the girls’ screams go unheard. While it feels like there’s more material that could have been wrung from this theme, it’s notable that Ben goes for the mouth more than once during his rampage, including in the film’s most memorable kill. In the end, maybe all communication is meaningless when nature decides to play a cruel prank.
Miguel Torres Umba’s Incredible Performance as Rabid Chimp Ben
This tragic aspect of the story doesn’t dampen the scares or thrills. Movement specialist Miguel Torres Umba, who portrays Ben, initially imbues the chimp with lovable warmth that makes his feverish, trembling intensity all the more frightening as the sickness takes hold. It’s a remarkable performance, one that lulls the audience into a similar state of wishful thinking to Lucy as she repeatedly reaches out to Ben in the hope that some part of the pet she loved is still in there. Primate rewards that desperate desire with brutal bites, bludgeonings, and beyond.
Primate Is a Lean, Mean, Face-Ripping Machine
Animal attack horror movies have trended hard toward sharks in the last decade (a world Roberts is no stranger to, having helmed 47 Meters Down and its sequel). It’s exciting to see a new addition to this subgenre focusing on a lesser-seen aggressor, especially one that doesn’t frame its killer creature as inherently evil, but rather a victim of both a natural blight and human foolishness. Ben should never have been put in the position he’s in—but now he’s here, it’s pulse-poundingly fun to see the damage that 100+ pounds of pure muscle can do when its brain is on fire.
Primate attacks theaters on January 9.