Movies
I Know What You Watched Last Summer: Your Guide to Seasonal Sleaze
Enter an internet search of summer horror movies, and the usual suspects pop up. But what if you don’t want to watch Friday the 13th or Jaws for the umpteenth time? What if you crave something trashy, campy, strange, or downright awful? Something that makes you choke on your beer after cackling at the cringe and creates those lasting so-bad-it’s-good memories with loved ones on a humid July night. The ridiculous Sleepaway Camp inspired this list, and while its problematic chaos qualifies, it’s had a resurgence in recent years. I’m here to point you toward less discussed summertime guilty pleasures, whether you’ve never seen them or haven’t had a rewatch in some time. Grab a flashlight and meet me around the fire at Camp Horror Press as we weave a tale of underappreciated gems, and maybe we’ll rip them to shreds along the way.
Cheerleader Camp (1988)
If David Lynch and John Waters teamed up to direct a ludicrous old-school slasher, the self-aware Cheerleader Camp would be their concoction. Originally titled Bloody Pom Poms, it stars Betsey Russel (Jill Tuck in the Saw franchise) as troubled “it girl” Alison as she attends a cheerleading camp where anything goes, and every transgression is near immediately forgotten. Lynchian dream sequences featuring razor-sharp pom-poms and voyeuristic sex provide insight into Alison’s troubled mind. Yet, outside of this nightmare realm, it’s all Porky’sand classically trashy slasher depravity. There is no sense of time, so – much like the film’s young actors who can’t seem to help but tumble through the woods like ragdolls – it’s best to roll with it.
Antics include: Employees hiding a dead body to avoid a camp shutdown, wild bedroom role-play that’s recorded and screened for all to see, and a topless queen bee suntanning showdown, for good measure. Surprisingly, the acting is a degree above half-baked, perhaps because of the film’s presumably knowing nature. The sophisticated script allows for amazing line deliveries like, “Chickens! Where?!” and “I hope you DIE!” which remain oddly charming while wrapped up in the film’s bizarre plane of existence. The reveal of the killer’s identity – loosely based on a true story – is similarly satisfying. If you’re in the mood to submerge yourself in the mystical waters of prime late 80’s slasher filth, it’s time for a weekend at Cheerleader Camp.
Killer Quote: “The queen will epitomize the highest ideals of cheerleading, which are nothing less than the highest ideals of mankind.” – Miss Tipton (Vickie Benson)
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)
Okay, this sequel to its hit predecessor from 1997 is genuinely bad. The original, which piggybacked off the success of Scream, had a few things going for it: It, too, was written by horror scribe Kevin Williamson, the cast is full of bonafide late 90’s dreamboats, and it includes what I consider to be one of the slasher genre’s best chase scenes, starring scream queen Sarah Michelle Gellar. Unfortunately, Williamson did not write this sequel, and poor SMG did not survive her legendary scuffle with the hooked killer. Scream 2 had modeled the precedent less than a year prior by satirizing cliché horror sequels while simultaneously being a great one, and I Still Know took absolutely zero notes. What remains is a hackneyed follow-up that thrusts Jennifer Love Hewitt’s irksome final girl, Julie James, into the muck once more – this time at a tropical resort in the Bahamas that resembles a lakeside retreat in upstate New York.
Hot garbage doesn’t stink so bad when it’s on celluloid, however, and if watched with the mindset of roasting this movie to hell – perhaps a drinking game – there’s fun within. Hewitt’s suspiciously forced acting chops invoke more cringe than trauma two decades before Halloween Kills ingrained “Evil Dies Tonight!” into our brains, and the return of her beau Freddie Prinze Jr. is butchered by writing him into an asinine savior subplot that literally throws him out a hospital window (and much of the action). Hewitt, arms outstretched, also blesses us with a recreation of her iconic, “What are you waiting for?!” scene from the OG, and a hilarious attempt at promotion for her now-defunct singing career inserts itself during the corniest of-the-era needle drop. Don’t fret, JLove, Ghost Whisperer comes soon enough.
The cast rounds out with a rasta-appropriating Jack Black, 90s icon Brandy as the rare black final girl, and Mekhi Phifer as her incredulously rude boyfriend. A few decent kills liven up the joint with some much-needed gore, followed by a suspenseful epilogue that acts as a lovely nightcap – that is, until it abruptly ends with a gotcha moment so uninspired your eyes may get lost in the back of your head. Keep up the (responsible) drinking game, and you’ll be litty as a kitty in no time!
Killer Quote: “All I know is that this is the worst vacation of my life. I’m tired, I’m hungry, I’m fucking horny, and I ain’t seen one goddamn psycho killer.” – Tyrell (Mekhi Phifer) moments before being slain.
Tourist Trap (1979)
What if the killer from House of Wax had telekinetic abilities and was super annoying? This wacky freakshow from the always entertaining Full Moon Features follows a group of twenty-somethings who suffer a doomed roadside run-in with the Carrie White of dollmakers, and it certainly checks off the “wrong turn road trip” box. Made at a time when not everything needed an explanation, the kinetically charged Tourist Trap somehow succeeds at being both positively silly and uncomfortably disturbing. Its achievements in audio are key: A shifty score oscillates between high tension and something akin to a Spotify playlist for clowns, and its sound design highlights the orgasmic talents of an army of moaning mannequins; if you have thin walls, beware.
Molly, the bonnet-wearing Little Karen on the Prairie heroine, is precisely as irritating as she sounds, and, as mentioned, the film’s villain is no different – he never shuts the fuck up! Of course, this is all part of the fun. There are some genuine scares to be had, mainly due to its infusion of supernatural blood into the standard slasher formula. Tourist Trap: Come for the chills…stay for the sultry mannequins!
Killer Quote: “He always wanted to be like me. You see, I’m his big brother. He always wanted everything I ever had. Including my face.” -Mr. Slauson (Chuck Connors)
Deep Blue Sea (1999)
“Deepest, bluest, my hat is like a shark’s fin.”
“Bleeding to death with no arms and short sleeves.”
“Struggling to flow with hemorrhages in your throat,
Getting the lap dance while I smash through your boat.”
Yes, those are lyrics from LL Cool J’s time capsule of a marketing tool meant to coincide with the release of this late ’90s sharkbuster. Lady Gaga who? (jk ILYSM). A rap track about how Cool J is as badass as a genetically modified shark fits the bill, though, because this movie is just as absurd. Equal parts The Poseidon Adventure and Jaws, the likes of Samuel L. Jackson and Thomas Jane fight for their lives to prevent uber-intelligent sharks – engineered as research for an Alzheimer’s cure – from escaping captivity to the open sea. It’s full of gnarly kills, close calls drenched in sweat and salt water, and a shocking early death that rips a page from the Drew Barrymore gag in Scream – see, I Still Know, someone took notes.
While not very…deep, the movie isn’t half bad and was quite successful upon release. However, 20+ years and two piss-poor straight-to-video sequels later, I don’t see Deep Blue Sea getting nearly as much time in the spotlight as its summer horror peers. It’s an all-around good time and may as well be Jaws when compared to the deluge of incoherent shark movies that release every year. As Sam Jackson once said in that other creature feature, “Hold on to your butts.”
Killer Quote: Honestly, just watch the video for “Deepest Bluest (Shark’s Fin)” with subtitles on. LL Cool J cemented himself as the poet laureate of 1999.
That concludes our time around the fire tonight. Hopefully, my shady reads of these discounted gems have inspired you to give them a whirl and make some steamy summer memories yourself. And don’t stop there. Continue down the rabbit hole and discover even more amethysts in the dirt. A few may even supply that, “You’ve never heard of this movie?” clout you can use at the next barbeque. Until next time.
Halloween season is over, and many streamers have forgotten about us horror kids. While they take their 11-month hiatus from the genre, we can be grateful that we still have an app that cares. We are so lucky that Shudder remains that girl year-round. Whether you’re finishing their new original show Guts & Glory, catching up on The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula: Titans, or running at some of their deep cuts like I am, Shudder has your best interests at heart. As usual, she has quite a few titles fighting for our attention. Which is why I am here with five titles I think should be at the top of all of our watch lists this November. So, cancel your holiday plans and pick up your remote because we have got horrifying things to watch.
The Best Movies to Stream on Shudder This Month
Habit (1995)
An alcoholic unwittingly enters into a relationship with a succubus in New York City. If you ever wondered what Larry Fessenden was getting up to in his youth, you need to see this ’90s gem. I lucked out and caught it at Brooklyn Horror Film Festival last year, and I lived my best life. While watching it on the small screen will not be the same, I plan to hit play anyway. Mostly because I love to see 1990s succubi leaving their mark on men…and also the horror genre. Shudder is also adding The Last Winter and Depraved, so we can spend a whole day with Uncle Larry’s work.
Sew Torn (2024)
A seamstress happens upon a failed drug deal and steals a briefcase. She soon finds herself caught in a deadly situation where all roads lead to death. I caught Sew Torn at SXSW last year and have been wondering what happened to it. So, I am very happy this odd little bird has found her way to Shudder. I cannot wait to make my friends who are looking for something cute and deadly watch. I knew nothing when I hit play on this, and I encourage you to know as little as possible, too. I fear I have already written too much in this blurb to be completely honest.
You can watch Sew Torn on November 1st.
The Retreat (2021)
A couple goes on a pre-wedding retreat and unwittingly becomes targets of a group of serial killers. We have seen too many movies about retreats, and I thought this one would be more of the same. This title does not completely reinvent the wheel, but it does set itself apart within this oversaturated subgenre. The Retreat is a surprisingly fun and tense little thriller that feels made for the winter watches. Come for the lesbian characters leading the film, and stay for the violence. I also encourage you to check it out while it is on Shudder, because it is usually on apps with ads.
You can watch The Retreat on November 1st.
The Creep Tapes (Season 2)
Peachfuzz returns with more tapes, chaos, kills, and WTF moments. Mark Duplass and Patrick Brice have reentered the TV arena and are making things weird again. If award shows were real, this duo would be leading the Emmys charge. I saw the first three episodes, and Josef/Peachfuzz is still the serial killer after our own hearts. Our Wolfie is still cutting up (literally and figuratively) in the most amazing ways. Guest stars in danger this season include David Dastmalchian (Late Night with the Devil), Katie Aselton (The League), and Robert Longstreet (The Haunting of Hill House).
You can watch The Creep Tapes (Season 2) on November 14th.
Krampus (2015)
A kid accidentally summons demons during the holidays in this horror comedy. Krampus remains one of the top-tier Christmas horror titles for me. It is also my favorite Michael Dougherty film. Not only because it has the star power of Adam Scott and Toni Collette, either. This movie is wicked, and even the kids are in danger. I do not have many holiday horror movies I revisit every year, but Krampus is one of the very few. It still holds up, and I cannot wait to rewatch it with a festively boozy beverage.
You can watch Krampus on November 15th.
Those are a few reasons I am grateful for Shudder this holiday season. While the rest of you are fighting with your family and friends, I will be parked in front of my TV. You can have your turkey because I would rather gorge myself on episodes of The Creep Tapes anyway.
Let me know what Shudder shenanigans you have got your little eye on. I am nosy and want to make sure I am not missing anything on my favorite streamer.
The year is winding down, and I don’t know about you, but I am trying to pack in as many 2025 horror movies as I can. Is this because I love making end-of-the-year lists? Yes. Is it because I am an unhealed overachiever? Also, yes. So, I am assuming some of you are also cruising the streamers to see what you may have missed. While Netflix has had my favorite new slasher Heart Eyes for a bit, and I have mentioned that in previous streaming guides, they also have other new horror titles to show you.
I do not talk about them as much because I did not have a good time with them. However, that does not mean you won’t enjoy some of these titles. That’s why I am taking the high road and finding something to be grateful for about each of them. That way, you will know there is a silver lining if you do watch them. Allow me to help you figure out what to prioritize this month and what to skip. Check out this chaotic Netflix hitlist below!
The Best Movies to Stream on Netflix This Month
28 Years Later (2025)
A group of survivors on a small island has built a fortress to protect them from the rage virus. However, a young boy discovers what is really outside the walls of their community and sets off to find a cure for his sick mother. We all loved 28 Days Later, and some of us liked 28 Weeks Later. So, 28 Years Later was never going to live up to the hype with almost thirty years of anticipation. While I didn’t love it, I did enjoy seeing Danny Boyle helm another zombie installment. What he does in the subgenre is top-tier, and we are welcome (even if the script left me wanting more). That might have gotten buried in all the talk about the dicks seen in the movie, though.
Fear Street: Prom Queen (2025)
A group of girls competing for prom queen starts disappearing, leaving the underdog to figure out what is happening to her competition. I had a lot of thoughts about this lackluster installment in Netflix’s Fear Street adaptations. As someone who grew up reading Fear Street books and wanting to adapt them myself, I do not understand how this movie came out so badly. Which made it hard to find something nice to say about this title. However, the soundtrack slaps, and it is not the soundtrack’s fault that it was wasted on a low-energy bottom-tier slasher. So, if you hit play on this, you can at least look forward to hearing some retro bangers selected by music supervisor Nora Felder. If you are familiar with her work on Yellowjackets and Stranger Things, you know Felder does not miss.
Maa (2025)
To battle a demon’s curse, a mother transforms into the legendary goddess Kali. As usual, Netflix did not advertise an international horror movie that seemed to have some potential. If they had told us Maa was an Indian Hindi-language mythological horror movie, most people who yell for intersectionality and originality would have run at it. Instead, we had to find out about it months later while looking for something we hadn’t already seen on the app. This movie is too long, and I cannot say it is good by any stretch of the imagination. However, it also made me realize how little I know about the goddess of destruction. If you are a nerd like me, this might lead you down a cool rabbit hole. You can also say you gave a view to a horror movie starring Brown people. Who knows, maybe you could be one of the few who enjoy this chaotic film.
Until Dawn (2025)
A group of friends find themselves trapped in a time loop where they keep getting killed in gruesome ways. I love the video game and was so bummed this adaptation was so bad. However, the practical effects are very cool and should be celebrated more. I think the stuff that the SFX team pulled off might be the only reason to watch the movie personally. I’m happy the actors whose work I enjoy got paid, and that’s another positive thing I can say. However, if we want to see young people in deadly time loops, we have so many movies that do it better. Excuse me as I look right at Happy Death Day and all of the movies that have tried to copy her.
Ziam (2025)
A Muay Thai fighter battles through a zombie apocalypse to save the woman he loves. Netflix fumbled the advertising for this one too, because who doesn’t want to see a Thai zombie film? So, I was excited to watch it, but then sad I did not like it. However, I think this one is on me. It is an action-horror with a lot of heartfelt moments, and that’s not my bag. I wanted more violence and zombie action because I am a broken and heartless ghoul. So, Ziam might be the only movie on this list that does not deserve my bombastic side eye. I am waiting for other people to watch it and let me know if they have a better time with it, though.
While I was not the audience for these movies, I am assuming some of you will dig them. Worst-case scenario, you cross off a few more 2025 horror movies and have something to talk about at Friendsgiving. Happy Horrordays! I will see myself out now…
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