Reviews
‘Satanic Hispanics’ Review: Fun at Points, But Forgets to Bring The Panic
Satanic Hispanics is an anthology film: four horror stories told by a man trapped in police custody. His crime? Being caught in the middle of a suspected cartel massacre. As the police go through his belongings, every souvenir he has from his supernatural journeys weaves a tale of death and fates even worse. All the while, a timer is ticking down: he has 90 minutes to convince them to free him before an unstoppable monster kills everyone in its path to get to him.
Satanic Hispanics. Seeing the title of this film rolling into the Shudder suggestions in the coming months will probably have every kid who grew up Latino associating memories with the words themselves.
The Cultural Impact of Satanic Panic in Latino Communities
Most of us will remember the sensationalized and dramatized stories of evil and otherworldly forces from our childhoods constantly hocked on Univision; Primer Impacto regularly reporting on witch sightings, ghosts manifesting, and conspiracy theories of the occult was a staple in a lot of our homes. Maybe you’ll recall the mentions of witchcraft rumored about in hushed tones by las viejas chismosas in your apartment building (because your neighbor in 5F is for sure doing chicken sacrifices for power and isn’t just like, I don’t know, a hoarder with a weird work schedule).
Tapping into Latin American Folklore and Modern Fears
For most of the Latino world, Satanic Panic is REAL real. So, there’s very clearly a wellspring of stories you can draw on for a horror anthology like this one, both in folklore and in more modern fears and anxieties. And while this Dread Central feature film does tap into Latin American mythology and esoteric religions well enough, it didn’t land the gut punch I was hoping for in terms of its evocative title or fun premise.
But what is that premise? Satanic Hispanics is an anthology film: four horror stories told by a man trapped in police custody. His crime? Being caught in the middle of a suspected cartel massacre. As the police go through his belongings, every souvenir he has from his supernatural journeys weaves a tale of death and fates even worse. All the while, a timer is ticking down: he has 90 minutes to convince them to free him before an unstoppable monster kills everyone in its path to get to him.
Is Satanic Hispanics Worth Watching?
Right off the bat, I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch Satanic Hispanics; if I’m covering it, chances are it’s at least somewhat worth watching, especially since it’s an anthology, and your mileage may vary depending on which segments you vibe with. I was excited by the concept, and knowing that the film’s framing device was leading to a climactic showdown helped keep me interested. But I was ultimately kind of disappointed, and while I hope the film gets a sequel, it’s mainly so they can address this one’s issues.
Those issues, mind you, are structural and hard to ignore: it’s frontloaded by what are, in my opinion, the film’s two weakest segments, which hurts the momentum of the movie when you’ve got a nearly 2-hour runtime to push through and focusing in during the first 50 minutes had me struggling to keep watching. The framing device can be awkward at points, with segues that feel forced. The dialogue there feels clunky, and is only saved by Efren Ramirez, who plays the titular Traveler. He nails the role of “mysterious man who speaks in riddles and weird lore”, and his performance is too fun for me not to like even when his exposition is ham-fisted. He has a dark tone and wiseacre delivery, which combined with his odd lines just works.
Efren Ramirez and Gabriela Ruiz Shine
In terms of performances, the only real standouts here are Ramirez, and Gabriela Ruiz as the very cool and very creepy Madre Tierra in “Nahuales”. Hemky Madera also has a very charming performance as a bumbling vampire caught out late on Halloween, and though “El Vampiro” was my least favorite of the segments, it’s no fault of his; I enjoyed him as a sort of slapstick, Dominican Bela Lugosi and hope he gets to play more roles like that in the future.
Outside of the framing device which has to take time to heat up to a fun action horror ending (with some really bad spanish butt rock and some really great creature makeup to back it up), the segments generally improve as the film progresses, but have issues in and of themselves. Demian Rugna’s segment “Tambien Lo Vi” which leads the pack really didn’t have the big touchdown moment with its ending that I wanted it to. Nonetheless, I think aesthetically it utilizes the location expertly in spite of its rushed nature, and with a larger share of the runtime would be on par with every other amazing piece of filmmaking Rugna has made.
“The Hammer of Zanzibar”: Stylish but Problematic
The segment “The Hammer of Zanzibar” has an undoubted talent behind the camera in Alejandro Brugués who makes a stylish short reminiscent of Army of Darkness and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but its subject matter has an immature strain of humor that is violently hit or miss; beyond that, some interpretations of the segment can read as pretty offensive to the real life beliefs of diasporic African traditional religions. That is a whole other can of worms I don’t have space to get into, but felt like I should mention as a light content warning.
The best of these unsurprisingly comes from Gigi Saul Guerrero, who directs the segment “Nahuales”. If you watch this film for anything, let it be this. “Nahuales” is the chapter that most delivers on the film’s leery title, with a story centered on witchcraft, and tapping into the fear of things beyond our understanding. This time around the subject is the mythical nahuales; Mesoamerican shapeshifting monsters who stalk the land bringing bloody vengeance down on the heads of their enemies. However, it has a twist, since under all their literal grime and the human sacrifice they do, it is also a pretty culturally relevant commentary: on political corruption in Mexico, on American hegemony in the global south, and the exploitation and erasure of South American indigenous populations (as much it can comment in the time its given).
Why Satanic Hispanics Falls Short of Greatness
Had all the shorts in this collection been this stylish, this well-directed and acted, and this thematically weighty, Satanic Hispanics would have been an all-time great horror film. But the radical shift in tone between segments, while welcome in some regards, ends up hurting the film’s consistency and compounds its other issues. It holds the movie back because I can only appreciate certain segments, and it doesn’t come together as a whole feature. And personally, I don’t like having to skip through almost half of a film to get to the good parts.
It’s not a unique pitfall, since some of the V/H/S films and both ABC’s of Death movies suffer from it, with ABC’s being unwatchable for me because of this. But it is notable for anybody who plans on entering the world of Satanic Hispanics and its stories that you might not be able to get into it on the first go around. And if you do revisit this one, you’ll almost invariably end up wanting to skim through the grimoire of twisted tales rather than reading it through completely.
Satanic Hispanics will be streaming on Shudder starting March 8th!
Reviews
‘Night Patrol’ Review: Vampiric Cop Horror Undone by Messy Execution
I really wanted to love Night Patrol. And to be quite honest, I did for the first 40 minutes or so. The set up has the right amount of intrigue, the characters have great potential and chemistry, and the world building begins to polish its concepts nicely around its midpoint. But as this action horror exploitation film progresses, strange choices in the screenplay and editing tarnish what it sets up.
What you’re fed is filling at first, but soon the cup runs dry. While its final moments do feel grand and fun, they are undoubtedly clumsy. And though Night Patrol’s chances of garnering a cult following seem highly likely just for the niche concept it hits on, the back half of the film leaves a sour aftertaste that makes it hard to enjoy as easily as most cult classics.
Night Patrol Sees Gang Members Take On Vampiric Cops
Crip Wazi (RJ Cyler) has his night take a sharp turn for the worse after a hookup with his Piru lover gets interrupted. But his misfortune isn’t from members of either gang spotting them: it’s the LAPD who arrive on the scene. What starts as a stop and search turns bloody fast as the mysterious unit of cops known as Night Patrol kill her suddenly. The newest member, Hawkins (Justin Long), doesn’t flinch as he becomes part of the deadly police gang in ritualistic fashion.
Narrowly escaping the encounter, Wazi returns home to the Colonial Courts to try and get help from the local Pirus, led by Bornelius (Freddie Gibbs). The plan is to avenge their own, but the entire neighborhood ends up in the crosshairs of the monstrous task force. Where the residents see a place and people to protect, Night Patrol sees little more than a chance to feed on its black and brown citizens.
A Strong Cast Led by RJ Cyler Delivers
At its core, it’s a solid concept: rival gangs band together with guns and African mysticism to fight some literal blood-sucking racist cops. If Pirus and Crips all got along, they might be able to gun down some vampires by the end of this movie. Its fun ideas are matched with an eclectic but appropriate cast: Freddie Gibbs, Flying Lotus, RJ Cyler, Justin Long, Dermot Mulroney, and most surprisingly of all Phillip Brooks, who you might know as WWE superstar CM Punk. Cyler, star of The Harder They Fall, very much carries with his performance here as he did there. He gets to show his emotional range throughout the film and works well with what he’s given. He’s only outpaced by Gibbs in terms of entertainment for the sheer number of great reactions Bornelius gets.
Justin Long’s physical performance oscillates from impressive to underwhelming here, but he is about as compelling as Cyler, all things considered. One scene in particular where he has an emotional outpouring as he discovers what Night Patrol is really all about struck hard. Brooks also manages to sell his vitriolic bastard of a character well, putting another mark down on his resume as a welcome sight in horror going forward.
A Clever but Confused Script
But unfortunately, fun performances can’t make up for the feet of clay the movie stands on. Its true weakness is in its storytelling and editing, which chops scenes and sections of the film up in a way that’s impossible to ignore.
Now, credit where it’s due. On a meta-textual level, the script has some clever flourishes. Its Black characters don’t start the movie on the back foot, intimately aware of the existence of Night Patrol, even if they can’t pin down exactly what kind of monsters they’re up against. There’s something to be said here of what it reflects: the acute awareness Black Americans are forced to have about the dangers of interacting with the wrong police officers and being at the mercy of violent policing.
The characters arm themselves well, they don’t walk into scenarios recklessly or leave themselves open to be torn apart (at least, not until late in the film). Wazi’s mother who evangelizes on the Zulu peoples and their occult knowledge, has been preparing for them for a long time. And when the vampires show up at their doorstep, the counter-offensive is quick.
In Spite of Night Patrol’s Charm, It’s A Plot Stretched Too Thin
I bring this up because, for as thoughtful and clever as that all is, those quality decisions highlight the uninspired and dull ones as well. The plot is still undeniably stretched out in an odd way. Part of the problem is the fact that there are effectively three different main characters in this story: Wazi, Hawkins, and Xavier (played by Jermaine Fowler). Xavier is Wazi’s cop brother, and Hawkins’ partner before he joins Night Patrol, making him the bridge between the two. But it’s a rickety bridge, and little care is paid to Xavier as a character who is one-dimensional in the end and really just human shaped fuel to keep the plot going. Hawkins gets a similar demotion later on but at least gets to be part of the ending and have a decent amount of screentime.
This problem of a plot stretched thin between characters is exacerbated by a slightly bloated runtime and a very disorderly rearrangement of scenes that plagues its back half. The characters have interactions in the third act that should have been established in the first or second. Expository and comedic beats that don’t fit the dire nature of the situation make for tonal road bumps. In some cases, continuity of where characters were and what they said is thrown out the window entirely. There’s a big reveal for comedic effect in the film’s last scenes, but its undercut by what a character said just minutes prior spoiling the joke.
A Nightmare of Editing Hamstrings Ryan Prows Fantastic Directing
Director Ryan Prows has proven himself highly competent in the past with his feature Lowlife, and his handling of the camera in this film is no different; it even indicates some serious growth. He has a firm grasp of lighting his locations and framing his characters, he’s good at setting a tone. I particularly love how he handles the sequence where the cops inevitably and violently storm the Colonial Courts. It manages to be highly stylized while capturing the genuine horror of the attack, and he demonstrates a clear sense of balancing those cinematic elements. He is, without a doubt, highly skilled.
But unfortunately, the way that Night Patrol is plotted, paced, and cut together tears apart and reassembles Prows solid vision, taking what could be a great horror film and seriously hamstringing it. It’s a flesh golem of great ideas, stitched with the right organs in the wrong places—and some of its guts missing altogether by the time those credits roll.
Reviews
‘28 Years Later: The Bone Temple’ Review: Nia DaCosta Has the Cure
If there’s one thing I truly admire about 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple, it’s how deftly it maneuvers itself out of the mires that blemished the previous film. It continues the story director Danny Boyle and writer Alex Garland set up in 28 Years Later, but manages to bypass all of its weaknesses. It remedies all the ailments of the 2025 reboot, and it’s safe to say director Nia DaCosta is the one delivering the cure.
Director Nia DaCosta Gets Us Back on Course
Instead of the overly stylized editing and camerawork Boyle indulged in, we get a film that is clean and sharp without sacrificing the chaotic nature of the conflicts at hand. Instead of spreading its narrative and thematic butter too thin by hitting on many different ideas, The Bone Temple focuses in and focuses hard on what it’s trying to say about its characters. And most surprisingly of all, it manages to strike a near perfect balance of dark humor and genuinely disturbing sights to create a film that is every bit as fun as it is bleak and brutal.
Spike’s Journey Continues– While Dr. Ian Kelson’s Begins
As Spike’s journey in a post-apocalyptic Great Britain continues, he finds himself in dangerous company: The Fingers, a childish and ultraviolent band of tracksuit wearing survivors all named Jimmy. They’re guided by their demented priest and gang leader Sir Lord Jimmy Crystal, a demanding monster that consumes everything in his path to fulfill his dark and bizarre sacraments.
As he’s inducted into the gang in a brutal fashion, things go from bad to worse as Spike tries to escape them. But elsewhere something even stranger than the Fingers’ way of life begins to unfold, as Dr. Ian Kelson’s run-ins with the infected alpha Samson bear bizarre new fruit.
Jack O’Connell Reminds Us of What Made 28 Days Later So Good
Those expecting the violent infected roaming the woods to take center stage again will likely be disappointed, as their threatening presence from the first film has been usurped by our new underhanded antagonist Jimmy Crystal. Portrayed by Jack O’Connell, hot off the heels of his explosive performance in Sinners, he proves to us time and again that there are in fact worse fates than infection and death out in the wastelands of the United Kingdom. He is without a doubt the best part of the film, primarily for what he achieves in refocusing on the ethos of the series. The sheer human horror that made 28 Days Later so compelling is revitalized here, with O’Connell taking on the same kind of dire threat that Christopher Eccleston did as Major West in the very first film.
I would dare to say the character might be even more effective than Major West in how masterfully his writing tells us who he is, and how the character reflects Spike’s own growth. Jimmy Crystal is an ignoble lord, an ersatz early 2000s Jimmy Savile with all the uncomfortable meta-commentary underpinnings that implies; he is a predator, just a predator of a different kind. He is through and through, a fun to watch monstrosity; not charismatic per se, but very, very entertaining. O’Connell plays the immature, rotten-toothed psychotic like a worn, familiar instrument, and is able to generate a lot of discomfort and disquiet with how he plays him.
Ralph Fiennes and Chi Lewis-Parry Are Unrivaled
The other star player is, unsurprisingly, Ralph Fiennes as Dr. Ian Kelson. Though he doesn’t have as expansive an arc as Spike did previously, we get to spend time watching the character soul search for something in himself and in his new companion, the now somewhat docile Samson (played once again by the absolute mountain of a man that is Chi Lewis-Parry). It’s the emotional ballast that keeps the darker half of this film afloat, and a perfectly complementing light to Spike and the Fingers dark plotline.
Credit where it’s due to Lewis-Parry in particular as well, whose physical control and facial acting as Samson was genuinely impressive; this time around, it’s certainly more demanding and asks for more nuance than the monster role it started as, which he achieves. The odd relationship the two characters foster in this film is a delight that’s only matched by Kelson eventually running afoul of Jimmy Crystal, and where it goes from there is a far cry from what I expected.
A Taste of the Terrifying Trilogy Closer Yet to Come
Though the A and B plots of the film have a heavy delineation in tone and in story, the way they intertwine is more elegant than I anticipated, and much more fun than I would have ever bet. It takes until late in the second act to see what picture is being pieced together exactly, but the crash of a climax it provides results in a rollicking good time that merges the disparate halves.
Many will see the midpoint of this trilogy-to-be, and expect its over reliance on what came before or needless burden setting up the forthcoming third film. But 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple is far from beholden to its place in the series. It is purely a good movie, and it stands on its own as one. There’s a genuine cohesion here, and an unpredictable x-factor in the radical departure from the family focused plotline of the previous film.
A Confident Middle Chapter That Stands on Its Own
Where 28 Years Later was a post-apocalyptic coming of age, The Bone Temple is a dark fairytale about characters on a disastrous journey for one thing: control in a lost, uncontrollable world. It’s a fine study of characters locked in a scramble to stay on top, and how they interact with characters scrambling to retain their humanity. What results is a sequel that isn’t just better than what came before it, but one that will ignite audiences with excitement for the final installment that’s yet to come.
28 Years Later: The Bone Temple releases in movie theaters on January 16th, 2026


