Today’s journey into demonology begins with the Boulet’s visiting their local priest. Swan spits acid onto a crucifix, and it’s clear this depraved duo isn’t here to confess. They disrobe and humiliate the clergyman, who’s left to cower in fear as they prepare for ritual sacrifice. Hell’s on Earth, and the Devil is making house calls.
The Challenge: Acting challenges are always fun, and this one tasks the monsters with starring in the horror short parody The Exorsisters. They must create something equally camp and horrific and model their preferred style of demon for the floor show. The winner should be a natural star of the silver screen because they’ll be featured in an upcoming DREAD horror movie production. To help them prepare, drag legend Peaches Christ returns to The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula to coach and inspire the perverted little parishioners. But first, a Fright Feat is in order: In homage to Peaches, the monsters have five minutes to draw on brows that serve the biggest chunky rainbow caterpillar-from-hell realness. Zavaleta, the Kween of Feats, wins again, and she’s given the duty of assigning roles. Zav is the Priest; Sigourney the Assistant; Dahli, Mom One; Saint, Mom Two; Hoso the possessed Teen. Rehearsal is rocky – Dahli and Saint attempt Jennifer Coolidge and “chainsmoking broad” voices, respectively – and it seems most are going overboard with camp. There must be a level of earnestness when doing camp, Peaches tells them. Otherwise, it’s a circus. An eleventh-hour reconfiguration is in order for this troupe.
The Drama: Even though she went home, it seems Jade Jolie accomplished what she came to do because everyone agrees she does belong on the cast – despite also agreeing it was her time to go. Sigourney returns to describe the vile Roach Acropolis, and we discover that perhaps the real Extermination was surviving the godawful overhead lighting. Regarding our resident glamazon, this may be her final chance at owning her filthy side; a glamorous demon is not the stuff of nightmares.
Floor Show & Judgment: The reigning Queens of Hell grace the stage and meet guest judges Ray Santiago (Ash vs. Evil Dead) and Misha Osherovich (Freaky). Exorsisters goes surprisingly well: Hoso gives Linda Blair a run for her money, Zavaleta performs a line delivery that had me spitting my drink across the room, and Sigourney’s Assistant role is ridiculously stupid in the best way. Next up, the floor show receives the harshest critiques of the season. Dahli is the first to be cut down a peg, and the Boulets criticize their jarring choice of whiteface for the short and their uninspired blood demon. Sigourney is praised for her campy Assistant, and she finally lets her filth fly with a Lilith-inspired demon draped in aborted children. Despite this, the final product is lacking in the actual material. Zavaleta is shredded due to a wardrobe malfunction and a performance that was a bit too high energy; while she oozed sex and death in classic Zavaleta fashion, it wasn’t new. Saint, continuing to ignore the judges’ request for more energy, wows as a fallen, bloody angel. But, her energy is repeatedly low, and the judges wonder if she’s plateaued. Hoso is the only one unscathed, and she wins the challenge for the second week in a row. Her possession skills and Beelzebub meets Beetlejuice demon are top-notch, and they turn it out with their keyblade prop. Saint is pitied once more, and she barely escapes the pits of hell while the remaining are up for Extermination.
Extermination: As the most diverse group in franchise history, the monsters realize they each represent a different minority within the drag monster subculture. Unfortunately, someone must die, and the bottom three head to the Chapel of Calamity to face Extermination. A perverse amusement, they are ziplocked to the wall behind a layer of latex. Which will succumb to fears of suffocation and self-sabotage? Back at the chapel, the Boulets wheel in their satanic sacrifice. After an extremely slow reveal, we see La Zavaleta is the unlucky victim. Over the course of the season, we found our favorite mean girl did indeed have a soul, but sadly, it’s hers no more.
Quote of the Episode:
PRIEST
Sent for a priest?
MOTHER TWO
My child is…
PRIEST
(A beat. Dramatically turns to camera)
Gay.
MOTHER TWO
No! Possessed!
Honorable Mention: Sigourney’s outfit didn’t quite hold up in the harsh light of judgment, but the floor show’s edit provided the shock and awe she was looking for.
Rating: I love an acting challenge (I’m still laughing at Zavaleta’s line delivery), the modeling was hellish enough for me, and the Extermination, twisted! (9/10 Spit Takes)