Is Dead Alive the goriest movie of all time? No. And I wish people would stop acting like it is. Yes, it’s gory, but it’s far from the goriest. Half of the movie contains zero blood. And if you even want to get to the ‘good’ part, you have to get through that bloodless first half! The film’s second half would feel worth it if the first half wasn’t such a slog to get through. First, it’s important to look at the backstory of this film.
The Banned, Cut, and Recut History of Dead Alive
Braindead’s full runtime sits at 104 minutes, and was initially only released in full in the UK and Australia. It would later be banned in multiple countries. Once it hit the United States, a title change would come, Dead Alive, and nearly 20 minutes would be cut from the film. Eventually, we’d get a 97-minute uncut version, but that still means we’re missing almost 10 minutes of footage.
Dead Alive follows Lionel Cosgrove (Timothy Balme), whose mother, Vera Cosgrove (Elizabeth Moody) gets bit by a rat-monkey creature at a zoo. Vera receives said bite after she backs up against a monkey’s cage when stalking Lionel, who’s on a date with Paquita (Diana Peñalver). After a short incubation period, Vera passes away. But don’t you worry, before you shed a tear, you should know she has come back to life! Granted, she’s now hungry for human flesh, but she’s alive! Can Lionel stop his mother’s corpse before it’s too late?
When Slapstick and Gore Collide
Let’s get the negatives out of the way. Slapstick comedy and extreme horror don’t work for me. It just doesn’t work. The slapstick comedy of Hundreds of Beavers works well because it’s easy enough to suspend disbelief and accept the world the characters live in. Dead Alive, on the other hand, has just absolutely awful slapstick humor. It doesn’t even abide by the rule of three. Seeing the same obese guy getting kicked in his balls ten times is fine and all, especially because of who he is, but it’s just not funny. And almost everything in this film is played for laughs. When it comes to movie ratings, I’ve heard violence is rated based on its context–the more violent and mean a kill is, the harder the MPAA would go towards the rating. In Dead Alive, there isn’t a single serious moment, and trying to ‘enjoy’ the kills is incredibly frustrating.
I watched the unrated version and I really wanted to like this movie. Ultimately, it ended up being an extremely frustrating watch. Awful acting and a barebones plot that doesn’t feel fresh even for 1992 just takes what should have been a wonderful first-time experience into 97 minutes of trying not to watch the clock. By the time the action kicks in, I was already turned off. I didn’t care about the outcome at this point because I was unbelievably frustrated.
Overhyped and Underwhelming: A Missed Opportunity
If I learned anything from the endless hours of Lord of the Rings bonus features is that Peter Jackson loves practical effects. The practical effects of Dead Alive still mostly hold up today. The face deglovings, dog throat removals, and zombie headlamps look surprisingly great. If the film’s first half had been 15 to 20 minutes shorter, it would have worked better for me. Being told time and time again that Braindead was one of the goriest films of all time may have overhyped it for me. The film’s lawnmower scene, the bloodiest scene in the film, just didn’t have any impact at this point.
I desperately wanted to love this movie. Part of me was worried that my review would seem too biased because I would enjoy it that much. I can’t think of a time a film has let me down as much as Dead Alive did. Luckily I was able to watch the unrated version because I think I’d be even more frustrated watching a version with less gore. Oh and don’t even get me started on the half-baked dead dad storyline that’s explained in full almost immediately and then dropped for no reason. Overall, Dead Alive is a film I would never revisit and something I would never recommend.
