Satanic Hispanics. Seeing the title of this film rolling into the Shudder suggestions in the coming months will probably have every kid who grew up Latino associating memories with the words themselves.
The Cultural Impact of Satanic Panic in Latino Communities
Most of us will remember the sensationalized and dramatized stories of evil and otherworldly forces from our childhoods constantly hocked on Univision; Primer Impacto regularly reporting on witch sightings, ghosts manifesting, and conspiracy theories of the occult was a staple in a lot of our homes. Maybe you’ll recall the mentions of witchcraft rumored about in hushed tones by las viejas chismosas in your apartment building (because your neighbor in 5F is for sure doing chicken sacrifices for power and isn’t just like, I don’t know, a hoarder with a weird work schedule).
Tapping into Latin American Folklore and Modern Fears
For most of the Latino world, Satanic Panic is REAL real. So, there’s very clearly a wellspring of stories you can draw on for a horror anthology like this one, both in folklore and in more modern fears and anxieties. And while this Dread Central feature film does tap into Latin American mythology and esoteric religions well enough, it didn’t land the gut punch I was hoping for in terms of its evocative title or fun premise.
But what is that premise? Satanic Hispanics is an anthology film: four horror stories told by a man trapped in police custody. His crime? Being caught in the middle of a suspected cartel massacre. As the police go through his belongings, every souvenir he has from his supernatural journeys weaves a tale of death and fates even worse. All the while, a timer is ticking down: he has 90 minutes to convince them to free him before an unstoppable monster kills everyone in its path to get to him.
Is Satanic Hispanics Worth Watching?
Right off the bat, I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch Satanic Hispanics; if I’m covering it, chances are it’s at least somewhat worth watching, especially since it’s an anthology, and your mileage may vary depending on which segments you vibe with. I was excited by the concept, and knowing that the film’s framing device was leading to a climactic showdown helped keep me interested. But I was ultimately kind of disappointed, and while I hope the film gets a sequel, it’s mainly so they can address this one’s issues.
Those issues, mind you, are structural and hard to ignore: it’s frontloaded by what are, in my opinion, the film’s two weakest segments, which hurts the momentum of the movie when you’ve got a nearly 2-hour runtime to push through and focusing in during the first 50 minutes had me struggling to keep watching. The framing device can be awkward at points, with segues that feel forced. The dialogue there feels clunky, and is only saved by Efren Ramirez, who plays the titular Traveler. He nails the role of “mysterious man who speaks in riddles and weird lore”, and his performance is too fun for me not to like even when his exposition is ham-fisted. He has a dark tone and wiseacre delivery, which combined with his odd lines just works.
Efren Ramirez and Gabriela Ruiz Shine
In terms of performances, the only real standouts here are Ramirez, and Gabriela Ruiz as the very cool and very creepy Madre Tierra in “Nahuales”. Hemky Madera also has a very charming performance as a bumbling vampire caught out late on Halloween, and though “El Vampiro” was my least favorite of the segments, it’s no fault of his; I enjoyed him as a sort of slapstick, Dominican Bela Lugosi and hope he gets to play more roles like that in the future.
Outside of the framing device which has to take time to heat up to a fun action horror ending (with some really bad spanish butt rock and some really great creature makeup to back it up), the segments generally improve as the film progresses, but have issues in and of themselves. Demian Rugna’s segment “Tambien Lo Vi” which leads the pack really didn’t have the big touchdown moment with its ending that I wanted it to. Nonetheless, I think aesthetically it utilizes the location expertly in spite of its rushed nature, and with a larger share of the runtime would be on par with every other amazing piece of filmmaking Rugna has made.
“The Hammer of Zanzibar”: Stylish but Problematic
The segment “The Hammer of Zanzibar” has an undoubted talent behind the camera in Alejandro Brugués who makes a stylish short reminiscent of Army of Darkness and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but its subject matter has an immature strain of humor that is violently hit or miss; beyond that, some interpretations of the segment can read as pretty offensive to the real life beliefs of diasporic African traditional religions. That is a whole other can of worms I don’t have space to get into, but felt like I should mention as a light content warning.
The best of these unsurprisingly comes from Gigi Saul Guerrero, who directs the segment “Nahuales”. If you watch this film for anything, let it be this. “Nahuales” is the chapter that most delivers on the film’s leery title, with a story centered on witchcraft, and tapping into the fear of things beyond our understanding. This time around the subject is the mythical nahuales; Mesoamerican shapeshifting monsters who stalk the land bringing bloody vengeance down on the heads of their enemies. However, it has a twist, since under all their literal grime and the human sacrifice they do, it is also a pretty culturally relevant commentary: on political corruption in Mexico, on American hegemony in the global south, and the exploitation and erasure of South American indigenous populations (as much it can comment in the time its given).
Why Satanic Hispanics Falls Short of Greatness
Had all the shorts in this collection been this stylish, this well-directed and acted, and this thematically weighty, Satanic Hispanics would have been an all-time great horror film. But the radical shift in tone between segments, while welcome in some regards, ends up hurting the film’s consistency and compounds its other issues. It holds the movie back because I can only appreciate certain segments, and it doesn’t come together as a whole feature. And personally, I don’t like having to skip through almost half of a film to get to the good parts.
It’s not a unique pitfall, since some of the V/H/S films and both ABC’s of Death movies suffer from it, with ABC’s being unwatchable for me because of this. But it is notable for anybody who plans on entering the world of Satanic Hispanics and its stories that you might not be able to get into it on the first go around. And if you do revisit this one, you’ll almost invariably end up wanting to skim through the grimoire of twisted tales rather than reading it through completely.
Satanic Hispanics will be streaming on Shudder starting March 8th!
