The theme for this month here at Horror Press is “Based on a True Story,” and in my eyes, no franchise better encapsulates the core tenet of that corner of the horror genre than The Conjuring Universe. Let me be very clear: the tenet in question is “This is based on abject lies made by charlatans, but someone wrote a book about it, so it counts,” but nothing wields that approach with quite as much gusto as James Wan’s 2013 movie The Conjuring and the nine-film franchise it spawned. Eight-film franchise, if you don’t count The Curse of La Llorona. But Annabelle is in it, and the guy who directed it somehow conned his way into helming two of the three proper Conjuring movies that followed, meaning he has directed more of these things than James Wan himself, so I say it counts, dammit.
Anyway, did I mention we’re ranking these movies? Grab your crucifix and make sure those shadowy corners behind you are cleared of demonic nuns, and then we’ll be ready to rock.
The Entire Conjuring Franchise Ranked
#9 The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)
This is the first Conjuring without James Wan in the director’s chair, and you can feel it. The precarious balance of a love story about aging with a Catholic mysticism-inflected legal drama requires his deft touch, and it doesn’t get it, leaving this movie as something of an illegible mess.
#8 The Nun II (2023)
Speaking of illegible messes… Michael Chaves’ follow-up to The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (Why did they hand him the keys to the entire franchise, spinoffs and all? Who knows. I’d love to read the tell-all.) is The Nun II. This flavorless slog is only saved from being at the bottom of the list by a deliciously unhinged moment in the finale (Spoiler alert: The real hero of the movie is transubstantiation).
#7 The Curse of La Llorona (2019)
The Curse of La Llorona is the first of its kind. A big-budget Hollywood movie had never been made about La Llorona before. And frankly, it still hasn’t, because this movie makes a hash of her legend. Since when is she like… repelled by the tree that was nearby when she drowned her kids or whatever? What could have been a righteous force of angry dissent against patriarchy and colonization is converted into another boring haunted house jack-in-the-box ghostie. Linda Cardellini is great at screaming, though, somebody get her some Throat Coat, stat.
#6 Annabelle (2014)
The soft spot I have for the supremely dopey Annabelle was only enough to get it placed at No. 6. It’s still just not a very good movie, y’all, and it wastes Alfre Woodard, which is high treason as far as I’m concerned. However, the broad field of references from which it is exuberantly pulling (the Manson Family, Rosemary’s Baby, Mario Bava’s Shock, the list goes on and on) keeps you on your toes as it spins its daffy tale of parenting and terror.
#5 The Nun (2018)
The Nun is absolutely choked with gloomy atmosphere, but it’s just a random assortment of fright gags tossed everywhere. And unfortunately, none of them match the raw, unnerving power of the titular entity’s debut appearance in The Conjuring 2.
#4 Annabelle: Creation (2017)
It could maybe cool it on how many different manifestations the demon has, and it’s a bit over-reliant on CGI. However, director David F. Sandberg has pulled off the impossible, dragging this trashy subfranchise kicking and screaming toward the gliding, eerie aesthetic of the salad days of the flagship Conjuring movies.
#3 Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
Annabelle: Creation seems to enjoy the best reputation of the subfranchise, probably because people hated Annabelle so much that it felt like a breath of fresh air. But Annabelle Comes Home is full to bursting with sleepover movie energy. It’s probably the least “scary” Conjuring movie, but the sheer funhouse glee with which it throws every possible creepy crawly and ghoulie ghosty your way is hard to deny.
#2 The Conjuring 2 (2016)
James Wan sure as hell knows how to repackage some of the hoariest tropes in horror cinema history and make them fresh and exhilarating by combining his ever-so-patient creeping dread with a handful of gnarly jolts. The screenplay of this one is kind of a shambles, and the movie is way too proud of its blunt-force foreshadowing. Still, it looks gorgeous, and any film with that creepy-ass scene where the little girl’s silhouette slowly morphs into the ghost of an old man in the background of one long, sustained shot simply can’t be all bad, or even mostly bad.
#1 The Conjuring (2013)
Remember what I said about James Wan and his tropes? There is absolutely nothing in The Conjuring that is new. It is The Amityville Horror with The Exorcist crudely grafted onto the back third of it. But by pouring every ounce of creative energy he has into some stellar scares and by hiring a cast that is more than capable of bringing the unusually well-shaded characters – yes, Ed and Lorraine Warren, but the Perron family as well – he is able to elevate what could have been pretty bland material in anybody else’s hands.