TV
‘Tales from the Crypt’ Top 10 Episodes of All-Time, Ranked
Horror Press ranks the ten best episodes of Tales From The Crypt.
Greetings Boils and Ghouls!
Growing up I was a big fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation. One week I saw in TV guide that Patrick Stewart was hosting a show I had never heard of called Saturday Night Live. In my effort to stay up late enough to watch the show, I started to channel surf until I came upon another show called Tales From The Crypt. I was instantly hooked on the horror, comedy, and naughty glimpses of nudity. Did I stay up long enough to watch Captain Jean-Luc Picard talk about sexy cakes? Yes I did, but the following week I eagerly returned to spend time with my pal the Crypt Keeper.
Fast forward 30 years: I host a podcast called Dads From The Crypt, where I am joined by two other spooky dads to review horror and sci-fi anthology movies and series, such as Tales From The Crypt, Black Mirror, and Creepshow… and also to give questionable parenting advice.
After reviewing the entire bloody series, here is my list of the best Tales From The Crypt episodes.
The Ten Best Episodes of Tales From The Crypt
10. Skin Deep: Season 6, Episode 2
For a show known for pushing the boundaries of sex and violence, this one has both on full display. Expertly directed by William Malone (House on Haunted Hill (1999), Feardotcom (2002)) and starring the electric Sherrie Rose, this episode should give pause to anyone who considers going home with a mysterious girl at a party.
9. Cutting Cards: Season 2, Episode 3
The legendary Walter Hill (48 Hrs (1982), The Warriors (1979)) brings us the shortest episode in the series that packs a massive punch. Lance Henrickson and Kevin Tighe play two gamblers locked in an escalating battle of will and luck. These two chew the scenery with the ferocity of the shark from Jaws, and the absurdly funny resolution is an ending for the ages.
8. House of Horrors: Season 5, Episode 7
Ever wanted to watch Wil Wheaton, Keith Coogan, and Jason London scrub a floor with toothbrushes in their underwear while being berated by Kevin Dillion? This episode has you covered! Directed by Bob Gale (From the Back To The Future franchise- look for the interview I did with him!), this episode involves a fraternity hazing prank that you can really sink your teeth into. Think Animal House meets Night of the Demons.
7. Dig That Cat… He’s Real Gone: Season 1, Episode 3
This was one of the three episodes (The Man Who Was Death, And All Through The House…) that kicked off the series on Jun 10, 1989. All three of them are excellent and could easily make anyone’s top 10 list, but I went with this one for the sake of variety. Directed by the late great Richard Donner (Superman, The Goonies, The Omen), this episode really showcased the series’ dark humor. Many Tales From The Crypt segments are set in a creepy circus, a great setting for shady stories of the macabre. This one is the best, featuring Joe Pantoliano as a death-defying performer who pushes his luck. His and Robert Wuhl’s performances are so big they could pop out of your screen. Donner crafts a nasty, comedic tale that sets the tone for the rest of the series.
6. Television Terror: Season 2, Episode 16
Real life media personality and verifiable loudmouth Morton Downey Jr. parodies his own career in this take of the BBC’s Ghostwatch. Part terrifying haunted house story, part tongue-in-cheek commentary on the state of the media, this episode chills and tickles to the bone. Legendary stuntman Charlie Picerni directs this fan-favorite episode with a steady, imaginative hand.
5. Dead Right: Season 2, Episode 1
Kicking off season 2, the increased budget is immediately noticeable with improved sets and even the craftsmanship of the Crypt Keeper puppet itself. Demi Moore displays her charisma in this classic episode months before Ghost would make her a household name. Jeffery Tambor dons a plethora of prosthetics to play a character who is uglier on the inside than he appears on the outside. Director Howard Deutch (Pretty In Pink) lands this campy, creepy crypt tale.
4. The New Arrival: Season 4, Episode 7
This is the scariest episode of the entire series. When I first saw it as a kid, I was so scared I kept the lights on when I went to bed. David Warner plays a radio child psychologist who quickly gets in way over his head when he is invited to help a mysterious, disturbed child. Zelda Rubenstein is excellent as always, and Robert Patrick has a fun cameo in this tight terror tale from Peter Medak (The Changeling). Think Frasier Crane visits the house in The People Under The Stairs.
3. “Death of Some Salesman”: Season 5, Episode 1
Bordello of Blood may have been underwhelming, to say the least, but director (and longtime Tales From The Crypt producer) Gil Adler proved he had the chops with two classic Tales episodes: “Death of Some Salesmen” and “What’s Cookin’.” “Death of Some Salesmen” gets the nod here for an incredible performance by the iconic Tim Curry. He plays all three members of a demented family at once, sometimes even in the same shot. Effects master Todd Masters deserves major credit for the exceptional makeup. Ed Begley Jr. is the titular salesman trying to make the deal of a lifetime. This episode provides the gore, humor, and thrills that fans crave.
2. “Top Billing”: Season 3, Episode 5
To kill or not to kill? That is the question this episode seeks to answer, and boy is it a killer time! Jon Lovitz gives a surprising performance as a down-on-his-luck actor hoping to breathe life into his career by auditioning for the lead in a production of Hamlet that is way off-Broadway. Todd Holland directs this quintessential Tales From The Crypt episode, with a colorful cast including Bruce Boxleitner, John Astin, and Louise Fletcher. The shocking twist will floor you, and the gory effects gag in the final scene will leave you shaken.
1. “Yellow”: Season 3, Episode 14
My choice for best Tales From The Crypt episode of all time was not meant to be a Tales From The Crypt episode. At the height of the series’ success, there was a plan to make a more wartime/action-oriented spin-off series. “Yellow” was meant to kick off the series and was given a big budget and longer run time. When the spinoff plans were canceled, this episode and a few others were repurposed into the main series. Lucky for us, this Robert Zemeckis (Back To The Future, Forrest Gump) episode transcended the show’s status quo. The series hallmarks are still present, with gory effects thanks to the World War I setting and a morality lesson that resonates today. Real-life father and son Kirk and Eric Douglas play a father and son on a tragic trajectory that feels so authentic that they barely seem to be acting. Dan Akroyd and Lance Henrikson round out the cast of this fantastic, heart-wrenching episode, which is one of the best episodes of TV ever broadcast.
I hope you enjoyed my list! Let us know your favorite Tales From The Crypt episodes on social media! If you want to know which episodes my co-hosts chose, you can listen to our July 2nd, 2023 episode, where we shared/compared/trashed each other’s list. You can find us on YouTube or your podcast app of choice.
TV
The Creep Tapes: “Brad” (S1E4)
If The Creep Tapes aren’t automatically greenlit for a second season, someone is making a mistake. These episodes have endless replayability. Each time you watch, you’ll find something new. You will see moments where something clicks in Josef’s head that you missed the first time; you will see when he makes split-second decisions you may have missed. The easiest way to put my thoughts into a phrase is that this franchise is lightning in a bottle.
Josef (Mark Duplass) continues his reign of terror with the best episode in the entire series so far. We’ve seen Josef trap people in a snowy mountain cabin, bait a birdwatcher into an oxygen-deprived fate, and get a gotcha journalist. So what could he do next? How about trapping a true crime filmmaker into a nightmare out of his own films?
Brad (Josh Ruben) is a washed-up true-crime filmmaker who hasn’t had a hit in years. He is invited by Josef to a gorgeous house and offered to hear a pitch that’ll change everything. What is the pitch? Document true crime as it occurs. After some hemming and hawing, Brad agrees to participate in this odd experiment. Little does Brad know that he may end up more than a documentarian.
Why is this my favorite episode? To start, Josh Ruben. I love Josh Ruben. From his hysterical appearances on Game Changer to his harrowing performance in A Wounded Fawn, Ruben is one hell of a talented actor. But he’s more than just an actor; he’s also a great horror director. His written/directed hit horror comedy Scare Me delights with frights, while Werewolves Within was a more mature, albeit still funny, directorial feat. Simply put, whatever Josh Ruben touches turns to gold.
Secondly, the story. Episode 4, “Brad,” has one of the best stories of the series. Imagine you are a true-crime filmmaker who hits gold with your first project. Then, everything dries up. You can’t find the magic that made your first project so special to true-crime fanatics around the world. Suddenly, you’re allowed to change your fate. There’s something magical about that.
I want to go into more detail about this episode’s story, and we will break the spoiler barrier at this point. The big twist for this episode is that not only is Brad obviously being targeted by Josef, but in a way that’s more sinister than Josef has done before. Josef turns Brad into the killer. What Brad didn’t know is that Josef had cameras set up in specific locations and planned to make Brad appear as a killer. Once Brad realizes this, his whole world falls apart. He, on camera, has become what he wanted to film. What Josef has done here is gorgeously grotesque.
Besides the great twist, Duplass and Ruben have brilliant chemistry. I feel like I’ve said this many times in my Creep Tapes coverage, but Duplass plays off everyone so well. That’s one of the charms of Duplass and the Creep franchise as a whole. Without an actor as incredible as Duplass, this franchise would not work. His boyish charm plays off his maniacal inner nature in ways that haven’t been captured before.
If The Creep Tapes aren’t automatically greenlit for a second season, someone is making a mistake. These episodes have endless replayability. Each time you watch, you’ll find something new. You will see moments where something clicks in Josef’s head that you missed the first time; you will see when he makes split-second decisions you may have missed. The easiest way to put my thoughts into a phrase is that this franchise is lightning in a bottle.
Episodes 1 and 2 of The Creep Tapes set a terrifying precedent of murderous mayhem at the hands of Josef (Mark Duplass). We may or may not have learned anything new regarding the canon or lore behind Josef, but we’ve gotten to watch him ‘play with his food’. I still believe that Episode 2, “Elliot,” is the slowest of the episodes thus far, but I’ve slightly come around to the idea of it. One of my best friends told me, “If that’s the worst episode, then we’re in for a treat.” And honestly, that’s the best way I could describe my thoughts on it.
Episode 3, “Jeremy”, takes us out of the wetlands and returns us to a claustrophobic mountain house. “Jeremy” follows our newest victim, Jeremy (Josh Fadem), a ‘gotcha’ internet personality whose whole personality surrounds exposing those he deems needing to be exposed. After his Big Pharma expose, Jeremy finds his sights on Father Tom Durkin (Mark Duplass). Jeremy meets with Father Durkin under the guise of an interview. Little do both of them know…neither is there for what the other thinks.
This episode will probably be a diving episode for fans. I’m personally a big fan of Josh Fadem. His quirky awkwardness is appealing to me. But there’s a chance his schtick will get old quickly for some viewers. The way Fadem and Duplass play off each other is fascinating to watch, and it creates a very compelling dynamic.
Duplass has always given 110% when playing Josef, but he amps it up tenfold in this episode. We get one of the funniest bits in Creep history when Josef/Father Tom Durkin *literally* exercises his demons out. Besides that exercise bit, Father Tom Durkin is one of Josef’s greatest personalities.
If you haven’t seen the episode, I’m about to mention something that is a spoiler, BUT it needs to be discussed. Toward the latter half of the episode, Josef shows Jeremy one of his tapes and uses this to ease Jeremy. The goal of showing him this tape is to give Jeremy his Gotcha moment. See, “Father Tom Durkin” was supposedly possessed and was being exorcised by Father Dom Gurkin. The video we see is of Josef, in his Peachfuzz mask and underwear, cowering in the corner of a small shack while Father Dom Gurkin tries to exorcize the demon from him.
From what we’ve seen so far, between the first two films and the first two episodes, this is the only evidence that Josef has shown something from his collection to one of his victims. Not only is this idea haunting from Jeremy’s perspective but as a viewer as well. Knowing what we know, this is beyond terrifying. I can only imagine what’s going through Josef’s head while Jeremy is watching this. Will we witness Josef showing other victims tapes at any point?
Episode 3 continues to strike fear into Creep fans and shows no signs of stopping. I still don’t enjoy the credits and think it ruins the immersion (this is a general complaint of opening credits in all found footage) but I’ve come to accept it at this point. I’m happy that Josh Fadem has a character that is canon in the Creep-iverse, and this episode does an excellent job of continuing the legend of Josef. My only real question is, in this age of cell phone pings, how hasn’t he been caught yet?! I’ll continue to suspend my disbelief on that front. With three episodes left in this season, what havoc will Josef wreak on the camera people of this town? Tune in next Friday to find out!
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