TV
Presenting: ‘The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula: Season 5′ Second Annual Golden Ghoulie Awards
Welcome back, normies and Uglies alike, to the Second Annual Golden Ghoulie Awards™! After last year’s titanic showing of resurrected favorites bickered and clawed their way to the crown like a scene out of 1912, it is a return to form as we honor the frights, freaks, and fallacies of the Season 5 cast of The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula in all their glorious agony. With their fresh flesh waiting to be torn asunder, exterminations and the subsequent murders of these ill-fated Monsters made a comeback – and fed into our sadistic desires. It’s a new, post-Titans era, and we saw the Boulet Brothers themselves take over directing duties. Mama, they sure do love a monochromatic moment, am I right? Drac and Swan poured what remains of their souls into this season, so dim the lights, unzip a nearby serpent, and hit the vape as we celebrate the successes of Season 5 and begin the show!
Welcome back, normies and Uglies alike, to the Second Annual Golden Ghoulie Awards™! After last year’s titanic showing of resurrected favorites bickered and clawed their way to the crown like a scene out of 1912, it is a return to form as we honor the frights, freaks, and fallacies of the Season 5 cast of The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula in all their glorious agony. With their fresh flesh waiting to be torn asunder, exterminations and the subsequent murders of these ill-fated Monsters made a comeback – and fed into our sadistic desires. It’s a new, post-Titans era, and we saw the Boulet Brothers themselves take over directing duties. Mama, they sure do love a monochromatic moment, am I right? Drac and Swan poured what remains of their souls into this season, so dim the lights, unzip a nearby serpent, and hit the vape as we celebrate the successes of Season 5 and begin the show!
The Best Individual Looks in Season Five
In the Underworld, all souls are tormented equally, so it’s essential to take a moment and appreciate the fabulous walk-in closets that are the minds of these Monsters. The Boulets appropriately renamed the Boudoir into the Laboratory because “It’s the Laboratory. Short for laboratories. It’s where they build monsters in the laboratories, darling.” This season a fair share of Frankenstein fuckery was birthed into the realms. No, it didn’t all spawn from the many orifices of Niohuru’s Trashcan Children floor show, but we’re confident some brain worms Got a Tik Or two. Reminisce with us as we shine a spotlight on the Best Individual Looks of our Season 5 Monsters – in order of their offing, of course.
And if you’d like to find out what your favorite Monster says about you, find out here.
Disclaimer: No looks from the final floor show are in contention because they should have admitted themselves into the Underworld early if those aren’t their best.
Onyx Ondyx: The Unholy Pontiff (The Last Supper)
Onyk, Onyk, Onyk. Why did you wait until the reunion to pull out all the stops? Her time on this Earth was brief, but when the Boulets brought their Monsters back together for one final meal, Onyk Ondyx proved why all eyes were on her in the center of the ring, just like a circus. Putting the freak in this Shudder freak show, she is a master of body horror. This papal cenobite served up her scalp on a scarlet platter and had the congregation gagging.
Satanna: Mutha Superior (The Last Supper)
Some would say, “Not today, Satan,” but at the Golden Ghoulies, all we can think when we see Satanna’s reunion lewk is, “Well, yes!” Blasphemous and gorgeous all at once, she stunted pretty as an infernal priestess ready to wash away her cardinal sins. There were – perhaps unintended – layers to this fashion moment as Satanna herself admitted it was time to dust that chip off her shoulder and baptize herself anew. Please don’t get too nicey cutie on us, though.
Jarvis Hammer: The Spectral Hitchhiker (Ghosts of the Gatehouse)
The only Monster who showed up to compete previously deceased, Jarvis Hammer presented ghostbusting perfection during the Haunted Hotel floor show. His icy green accents were orgasmically ectoplasmic, and if it weren’t for a few wardrobe malfunctions (and if Jay Kay happened to slip on a few pearls), this poltergeist might have hammered home a win. Still, if you’re looking for a good time at any of the many sus motels on Route 666, hit him up on his socials. Ghosts doomscroll, too!
Anna Phylactic: Backstabbed Beauty (Ghosts of the Gatehouse)
An ethereal vision in ivory, Anna Phylactic’s boudoir beauty forgot to check all her angles after waking from a deep slumber. Hamming it up during the floor show like a Boulet-inspired version of Drew Barrymore’s Sugar from Batman Forever, this ice queen had a sanguine surprise coagulating on the back of her head. Anna’s lewk played flawlessly into her classic drag ghoul aesthetic, and its imagery left a devastatingly beautiful impression for the Haunted Hotel to carry for eternity.
Jay Kay: The Popper Bellhopper (Ghosts of the Gatehouse)
Jay Kay took a lot of shit from his fellow Monsters for frequently haphazard costuming, but the third and final lewk being honored from the Haunted Hotel floor show was right up his back alley. The natural boxiness of cardboard, Jay Kay’s fabric of choice, fit the theme like a puzzle piece as he strutted the stage in an uncharacteristically tailored bellhop design. A scalped skull and hollow chest were the icing on the cake, cementing this as a win for the punk rock peacock.
Cynthia Doll: The Shroom Sis (Terror in the Woods)
Oh, mami! She’s giving you all of that umami taste sensation, honey. The self-proclaimed high fashion nightmare lived up to her title in the inaugural floor show of the season, wiggling her couture chanterelle like Nickelodeon’s next It Girl. Take a bite off that mushroom cap, baby doll, and you’ll feel the Cynthia Doll high in no time. Just don’t ask her for directions when you get lost in the woods because her gay ass couldn’t help you to save her life.
Fantasia Royale Gaga: Teenta TurnTer (Gods of Death Part 1)
During the Monsters of Rock solo performance floor show, Fantasia commanded the stage like a glam rock queen. If her castmates’ main critique is that she doesn’t bring the horror and filth, Fantasia certainly embodied Royale Gaga glamour as she worked the room like Tina Turner covered in opulent and glittering chain mail. Attitude secures Fantasia’s bag, and she milked every last drop of it, booking a spot as frontwoman and outplaying those other groupies.
Blackberri: Fembot Sexpot (It Came From Beyond)
Clean, expensive, and understands the assignment – these are the chemical properties of a Blackberri. Fembots have feelings too, and her curvy chromatic sexpot sported two cone-shaped erogenous zones that gave the Boulets the ol’ razzle-dazzle. All tea all shade toward the other Monsters because Blackberri’s props always fulfill their duties when called to action. This particular lewk was sculpted with form-fitting precision and projected a silky smooth sheen that you can’t help but crave to caress.
Niohuru X: Fox Spirit “Huli Jing” (Terror in the Woods)
Mamma Mia, was this a hard choice! When it’s Nio’s turn to cross the threshold, you know you’re about to see living art. And while she had no hard boots this season, her demonic fox spirit of Chinese folklore entered the chat with rabid ferocity. If you weren’t familiar with her social media presence beforehand, this told you everything you needed to know. From the reverence for her Chinese culture to a wild yet refined aesthetic, Niohuru X has layers of darkness and silliness under that seemingly unapproachable exterior.
Orkgotik: Leadyr Skynhead (Gods of Death Part 2)
While Ork’s grotesque Humanoid Hemorrhoid from Episode 2 nearly took this spot, his Monsters of Rock band leader lewk checked all the boxes. Focusing on a much more subtle point of view than his usual fare – wherein you sometimes don’t understand what you’re looking at – this root vegetable turned hellion phantasmagoria featured a sickening drag mug and dominating spirit that allowed Ork’s light to shine through the cracks in his shadow armor. In fact, the look was so cohesive that his band, Chaotik, followed suit and drank from the poisoned chalice to transform into a gaggle of Baby Orks. Who would have thought this floor show would do group possession better than The Exorcist: Believer?
Throb Zombie: Gawdzilla (Humongous Horrors)
Put down the fan fiction because if you’ve ever wanted to check out Godzilla with enormous breasts, The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula has you covered. As the season wore on, Throb continued to play with gender in a way not often seen on the show, and no look was more evident of this than their gender-bending take on the infamous King of the Monsters. Throb destroyed Hunty City with ferocious flamboyance like a pin-up model under a kaiju curse. It’s moments like these that remind you why the Boulets decided to carve out a space for alternative queer culture on TV.
Best Boulet Brothers Look: Sisterhood of Evil Mutants (Children of the Can)
Someone let Charles Xavier know that two Mutant Mothers of Mothlandia have arrived in Krakoa. What’s there to even say about this lewk other than those wigs are to DIE for?! Inspired by the deadly beauties of X-Men lore, this Episode 2 appearance by the Boulet Brothers upheld their dominance as the Queens of Samhain.
Best Wig: Fantasia Royale Gaga as Teenta TurnTer (Gods of Death Part 1)
This big, bodacious blonde bombshell of a wig allowed Fantasia’s Episode 4 floor show to come to life and seize the day. Sometimes less is more, and while it’s not a headpiece of laid intestines, it takes an impeccable stage presence to pull off something like this so effortlessly. The higher the hair, the closer to Gaga!
Top 3 Floor Shows:
As we mentioned at the show’s beginning, the Boulet Brothers took a seat in the director’s chair for Season 5, and one aspect of their pride and joy that greatly benefited from their new role was the floor shows. As discussed on their podcast and the reunion episode, they consciously tried to direct and edit the Monsters so that no one looked a fool. The evidence speaks for itself, even if you can sometimes tell that a Monster may have flopped based on the brevity of their cut. Add to this the revolving floor at the top of the stage that twirls them around like the E! Live 360 red carpet camera, and you have nine episodes of dark magic to be swept away in. These are the Top 3 Floor Shows of Season 5.
- The Haunted Hotel (Ghosts of the Gatehouse): For good reason, three of our ten Monsters were awarded their Best Look of the season for this journey to the Overlook Hotel. Providing precisely the kind of alternative drag affair we look for on the show, this campy little number allowed us to see our Monsters put on the Ritz like you were visiting an LGBT speakeasy. For once, everyone was a hit in both looks and performance, and the silliness went on just long enough before the tides turned and things got dark. We need versatility from the world’s next Drag Supermonster, sis.
- Drag Kaiju (Humongous Horrors): Bigger is typically better when it comes to drag. Blowing up our Monsters to city-sized proportions is excellent. It’s impossible not to embrace a childlike sense of glee regarding this challenge, and the Top 5 of Season 5 went bananas with it. Do you have pent-up rage after weeks of filming a high-stakes television show? Do you want to be carried around set like a serpentine Cleopatra? Have you always wondered what feeling taller than Drac would be like? Check, check, and check!
- Blacklight Dark Ride (Ultraviolet Umbras): This assignment was not necessarily understood by all, but it was enjoyable to watch, and that’s what counts when you’re making good TV. Meant to be a throwback to 1980s haunted houses; it became a smorgasbord of random ideas that had nothing to do with 1980s haunted houses. Still, the excitement of what we’d see when the blacklights turned on was a pleasure, and even though the Boulets didn’t get Cynthia’s look, we know Oblina from Aaahh!!! Real Monsters! when we see her.
Floor Show Most Deserving of a Revival: Drag Kaiju (Humongous Horrors)
The Boulets adore the Monsters of Rock challenge – we know it isn’t going anywhere. However, if any floor show deserves to be revived in future seasons, it’s Drag Kaiju. Allowing the Monsters to look inward and outwardly express their biggest, baddest visions of self will forever pay off. No matter your style of drag, shoot for the stars, and you, too, will be able to smash, flutter, and fart your way through a miniature cityscape in a Los Angeles film studio.
Deadliest Extermination: The Birthing Simulator (It Came From Beyond)
Sure, jumping off a bridge into total darkness is terrifying – especially when Satanna’s at the top waiting to cut the cord – and there’s no way you’d catch us taking on a mouthful of maggots. Still, even the best of us can be humbled by a little thing called physical pain, and the birthing simulator in Episode 6 is a particularly sadistic exercise in the measure of a Monster. Jay Kay found out the hard way that the sensation of pushing a human out of your body is no laughing matter, despite getting different sorts of butterflies from the studly shirtless man administering the misery. And while no babies were harmed in the making of this extermination, one Mama of the Royale Gaga variety was, in fact, born. The Boulets are deranged AF for this one.
Runner Up: Bungee jumping off a bridge into total darkness IS fucking scary! Many average citizens would pass on the opportunity, but perhaps more would pass on simulating a birth.
Best Death Scene: Anna Phylactic (Gods of Death Part 2)
All of this season’s death scenes leaned heavily into horror homage, but none felt quite like a waking nightmare more than the death of one Anna Phylactic. Let loose in a dilapidated house, Anna hesitantly enters a room stacked with cloaked mannequins. Yes, the scariest part of a haunted house where you just know one of those mannequins is a real scare actor hired to aid in the shitting of your pants. It’s no surprise that Anna meets an untimely end, but the swift and brutal way in which the cloaked Boulet jumps out and stabs her in the jugular actually kinda scared us a little. We hope your casket cleared customs, love.
Runner Up: Onyx Ondyx having the life sucked out of her by bizarre little dolls crafted in the likeness of Episode 2’s Top 3 gave us a queasy and uneasy feeling.
Most Gag-Worthy Moment: A Literal Lip Sync For Your Life (Gods of Death Part 1)
The Boulet Brothers explicitly avoid the other L word when producing their show, which is understandable given its prominence in mainstream drag culture. This is, after all, a place for the outcasts. So when a mouthed moment makes that once-in-a-Blood-Moon appearance, you know it’s gonna be a gag. Such is the case in Season 5 when our hosts shocked ’em all and threw Episode 4’s bottom two (Jay Kay and Jarvis Hammer) into an R-rated lip sync battle – a franchise first. Jay Kay promptly lit the stage on fire and sent Jarvis straight to Hell. Then, in another first, we were treated to a direct transition into the (second?) murder of Mr. Hammer as we followed him backstage and under the weight of a rather hefty spotlight.
Runner Up: Fate found Cynthia Doll as Jay Kay cast The Curse of the Teletubby Toilet Bowl upon her, which forced her to do her floor show makeup in a porta-potty. Girl, why?
Biggest WTF Moment: Orio X Makeout Sesh
Rather than subjecting us to the laborious drama of a Titan-sized love triangle, Season 5 kept it quaint and stuck to a lovestruck duo. It was tongues – not claws – out while we watched the odd couple Niohuru X and Orkgotik find love in a desolate, hopeless place. It’s not so much the PDA as it is the PDA while in total Monster drag that makes their multiple on-camera makeout sessions the WTF Moments of the season. Watching Nio slather her tongue over Ork’s peeling prosthetics or Ork shove his tongue into the mouth of a gargantuan reptile is something you don’t see every day. The cast’s expressions ranged from utter disgust to “Are they done yet?” side-eye, injecting further humor into these uncomfortably adorable moments.
Runner Up: In the Cauldron after the Haunted Hotel floor show, Cynthia revealed Onyx Ondyx’s severed leg was in her prop suitcase the entire time. Girl, why?
Most Hilarious Malfunction: Fantasia Accidentally Joining FeetFinder (Ultraviolet Umbras)
Look, this season involved a lot of props and wardrobe malfunctions. And while this coulda woulda shoulda leaves room for disappointment, no mishap left us giggling at the chaos more than Fantasia’s feet randomly protruding from her blacklight boa lewk in Episode 7. The woman simply looked TIRED as she dragged herself around that stage, her feet casually popping out of her elongated torso like little teats under the belly of the beast. Hindsight is 20/20 because only one episode later, she’d learn via Nio that she could have zipped it up and commanded the crew to carry her any which way.
Biggest Upset: Jay Kay Wins the Haunted Hotel Floor Show (Ghosts of the Gatehouse)
As the Monsters were made to lip sync to the 1913 Billboard Hot 100 hit “At the Devil’s Ball,” the Episode 3 floor show required an unhinged commitment only a punk like Jay Kay could pull off. Their charismatic and quirky charm dominated the week, and despite having already been exterminated, the resurrected Monster clawed his way to a win. This high was vindicating yet about to be tested because a trip to the Cauldron was next on the schedule…
Fiercest Fight: Jay Kay vs Orkgotik (Ghosts of the Gatehouse)
Many quarrels confounded the residents of Season 5, but most began and ended as obtuse disagreements on opinion, which is par for the course on reality TV. Determined to shake things up, Jay Kay, riding his aforementioned high, decided to have some funsies and poke the beast known as Orkgotik. After questioning Ork’s look and ability to remain out of the bottom, Ork clapped back with a handful of expletives and some shade of his own. Unbothered, Jay Kay got a little horny (?) and offered himself up to Ork, only to have a drink spilled on his head. It was a hot mess, and we loved every second. Plus, it gave us the forever gifable moment of a dazed and confused Fantasia looking directly into the camera like a gooped Betty Boop.
Most Heartwarming Moment: Nio and Throb Butch It Up (Ultraviolet Umbras)
Nio is a deathly gorgeous siren of the Underworld in and out of drag, but she needed some coaching when it came to going masc 4 masc for her Episode 7 floor show. Throb came to the rescue and unleashed the secret knowledge of the “Dorito Method,” in which one tightens their torso and leads with their shoulders. Grunts and titty jokes aside – this tender moment in gender studies brought together two very unlikely Monsters with whom we hadn’t seen much interaction, speaking to the power of drag both on and off the show.
Cynthia Doll holding the coveted Golden Breastplate trophy.
The Golden Breastplate Award of Honor: Cynthia Doll
The Second Annual Golden Breastplate Award™ reveres the most lovable Monster of the bunch whom you could not hate if Satan himself dangled you over the pits of Hell. Cynthia Doll is unfiltered, endlessly endearing, and bewitchingly erratic. She will defend herself and her friends while narrowly avoiding the crossfire because it bounces off of her like some perplexing permabuff. Trying to understand Cynthia Doll’s acid-tinged whimsy is an impossible task comparable to her attempt at explaining what a cube is. If she feels like enacting a dramatic death scene in the middle of a dark forest when not a single soul asked her to, she will. It’s Cynthia Doll’s world; we’re all just living in it. Pass the vibe check and get on her wavelength, or there’s the door, bitch!
That’s a wrap on the Second Annual Golden Ghoulie Awards! Our cauldron bubbled over with talent and iconic moments from this dynamic cast, and they indeed left an indelible mark on the franchise. If you are sitting in Orkgotik’s section, we have towels and combs to dry you off and remove the flayed skin from your hair. And remember, we hope you didn’t get too attached to the cast of Season 5; all but one is dead, and more sacrifices are needed before another round of Titans can commence. Until next year, Uglies!
An age-old question has always been, “If you could live forever, would you?” As a queer person of color, I have always found the concept of immortality fascinating. Would being immortal improve things, or would my life remain unchanged? Would I lose my humanity as centuries pass? Having been a devoted reader of Anne Rice for many years, I became convinced that the only way to achieve immortality and find answers to my questions was to become a vampire. Imagine watching this version of Interview with the Vampire as a TV show for the first time. Like a human about to become food for the damned, I was enamored.
The series’ setup was masterfully done. Daniel Molloy, a gay man and reporter, is in the home of Louis de Pointe du Lac, a vampire. Louis introduces Daniel to his assistant, Rashid, who we later discover is the vampire Armand and Louis’ new lover. The inclusion of several queer main characters in this show was a refreshing change.
Daniel is the conductor, guiding the narrative with probing questions in every episode. The story unfolds in modern times and throughout the past, as Louis revisits his memories when Daniel seeks answers. Most questions focus on Louis’ maker and first male lover, the former human French aristocrat-turned-vampire Lestat de Lioncourt. The transitions connecting the story between periods flow seamlessly, like blood flowing through the veins to the heart and brain. See? This series had such a profound impact on me that it inspired me to become a poet.
Interview with the Vampire: A Queer Interracial Love Story
If you read the Anne Rice books, you know how Lestat fell in love with Louis and transformed him into his immortal partner. In subtext, anyway. The show not only embraced the idea that these two characters were a couple but also explored all aspects of their relationship: the good, the bad, the human soul, and the vampire spirit. Oh, and Louis is a Black man in the TV adaptation, making them a queer interracial couple. How’s that for a bit of razzle-dazzle?
“You could be a lot of things in New Orleans, but an openly gay Negro man was not one of them.” Louis’s words imprinted on me. He was hurting from internal struggle during his early days as a fledgling. Accepting yourself as queer when you have been living life as a straight person must have been jarring, especially at that time. Lestat knew what it was like coming to terms with queerness and vampirehood. However, I am not entirely convinced he understood intersectionality, or maybe he didn’t care.
Louis soon lost his family after he was turned. They realized he was different and even implied that he had consorted with the devil. His family also expressed concerns about his relationship with Lestat, particularly his deeply religious brother, Paul. For those who come from a POC ethnic background, being queer can be a death sentence. Some communities would rather accept you as a bloodsucking demon than as a person living outside a heteronormative lifestyle. In this case, however, Louis’s family didn’t accept him either way. Talk about a stake to the heart.
Navigating Queerness and Race in 1910s New Orleans
The show effectively balances fantasy and reality, allowing viewers almost to blur the lines between the two. It’s important to remember that during the 1910s, there was a significant rise in racial tension. Louis, a brothel owner catering to white customers and possessing more wealth than the average enslaved person, still faced opposition. White businessmen conspired against him to ensure his business would fail, as they aimed to shut it down. Louis found the man behind the plan. He openly expressed his disdain for Louis, revealing that he found him repugnant because of his race and sexual orientation.
Louis was justified in killing him. IDC.
I encountered a situation I never thought possible: even after gaining all the immortal gifts, you can still be vulnerable to human hatred. It shouldn’t have surprised me, as being queer gives you an automatic disadvantage in life. And being a person of color? Forget about it. No amount of vampiric blood or money would change your worth to those who deem you as lesser.
We observe how Louis’s immortality made him more at ease with his sexuality. It served as a gateway to experiences beyond human understanding. I am fond of metaphors, so I see becoming a vampire as a symbol of puberty and open-mindedness. Witnessing his struggle, I embraced this flawed character because he felt real. I also felt validation, as I am sure many others did. In the end, Louis was able to find his voice. That to which I say, “Yas, my undead queen!”
Queer Love Can Be Toxic Too
Unfortunately, as Daniel painfully noted during his interview with Louis, Lestat wasn’t the supportive partner he could have been. Instead of genuine guidance, Louis was met with misdirected anger. There was certainly love between them, but it was overshadowed.
Lestat’s love was as passionate as his wrath. He had little patience for Louis’ reluctance to accept all facets of being a vampire. While he enjoyed drinking from humans, Louis would feed from rats. This would cause intense fights between them. Lestat was disgusted by Louis’ shame and guilt regarding his desire for human blood.
While Louis was indeed a victim to some extent in his abusive relationship with Lestat, the show effectively portrayed the complexities, both positive and negative, of their dynamic. This is a reminder that both heterosexual and non-heterosexual relationships can have many similarities.
Claudia’s Tragic Tale: The Cost of Toxic Parenting
I’m not here to romanticize Louis’ toxic traits and embellish his victimhood. Let’s be real: Louis pressured Lestat to create Claudia, an eternal child who later resents her neglectful fathers for bringing her into existence. This complicates matters, and Louis dared to act like he didn’t want a daughter, which is absurd. I am not suggesting that Louis being dropped from the sky during a domestic fight was justified, nor that Louis and Claudia plotting to murder Lestat with poisoned blood was the best solution to their problems. I’m saying that these two immortal drama queens needed therapy as they destroyed everything around them.
A Scorpio and Libra dating is diabolical work.
The real victim here was Claudia. Trapped in a child’s body, never knowing what becoming an adult truly means. Her toxic and abusive parents were too busy caring about everything and everyone else but her. Relatable content. Might I add that having this character as a person of color was a beautiful touch? Interview with the Vampire made a statement by featuring Black main characters. Come on, an immortal interracial couple with a Black vampire child—scandalous AF.
I could go on about Claudia, but I’m sorry, girl. I have to keep talking about your dramatic dads. As you once said, “Picked another one over me!”
The Impact of Racism and Homophobia on Immortal Lives
Each episode left me feeling conflicted about what to be angry about. Should I be upset with Lestat’s cruelty, Louis’ eagerness to please, Daniel’s probing questions that force accountability, or Armand’s manipulative behavior to keep Louis around and ensure he resents Lestat? Or perhaps I should focus on the racist and homophobic characters who complicate this dysfunctional vampire family’s existence? Probably all of the above. Seeing the metaphorical sun draw near while vampires toy with its flames served as a reminder that these powerful night creatures still possessed human flaws. That’s the point, isn’t it?
I would be flattered if a vampire saw me, fell in love, and decided to make me their forever partner. However, I would not have enjoyed being isolated from my family and forced to rush transition from human to bloodsucker. All the while, I would be gaslighted and abused, which in turn would make me a toxic partner as well.
As their story unfolds, so does the drama. The characters change, and these changes are sometimes for the worse. These dads and their dramatics led to Claudia’s fiery death. No, this isn’t a spoiler because this happened in the books, so don’t come at me. The potential to have had an enriching and fulfilling home figuratively and literally went up in flames. This scenario could have been about a heterosexual relationship, and the message would not have lost its value. Now that’s how you know the writing is genius.
Anne Rice is Queen
It’s mentioned earlier that Anne Rice was the queen of subtext, so the writers of this series ate in fleshing out the characters in the Vampire Chronicles Universe. This show provided us with everything we desired: romance, lust, passion, and deceit—the perfect recipe for a gay vampire novella. I know I didn’t highlight the positives of this vamp relationship, but that’s overdone in other gay and straight stories. I aimed to address the unpleasant and painful aspects, so you’re welcome.
While we wait for the new season to air in 2026, I recommend rewatching the episodes as a refresher. They’re streaming on both Amazon Video and AMC+. Or if you want something more intimate, walk around at night and hope for the undead to pay you mind and offer you everlasting life.
JK. Don’t do that. Please.
TV
Why Max’s ‘Velma’ Failed: A Lesson for Hollywood’s IP Revivals
Hollywood is an industry of extreme risk and reward. In a world where high cost, star-studded films often attracts distracted viewers, studios have relied on a tried-and-true method of mitigating risk: reviving existing IP from their back catalog. At the same time, modern audiences are smarter, more critical, and less willing to be handed reheated slop, as demonstrated by critical and audience backlash to the modern trend of rebooting existing animated franchises for live-action. To stand out in a crowded field where audience discussion goes beyond the confines of the work water cooler to the limitless chatrooms of the internet, a reboot needs a spin, an angle to set it apart from the rest.
Hollywood is an industry of extreme risk and reward. In a world where high cost, star-studded films often attracts distracted viewers, studios have relied on a tried-and-true method of mitigating risk: reviving existing IP from their back catalog. At the same time, modern audiences are smarter, more critical, and less willing to be handed reheated slop, as demonstrated by critical and audience backlash to the modern trend of rebooting existing animated franchises for live-action. To stand out in a crowded field where audience discussion goes beyond the confines of the work water cooler to the limitless chatrooms of the internet, a reboot needs a spin, an angle to set it apart from the rest. So what happened with HBO’s Velma?
Velma’s Bold Reimagination: A Scooby-Doo Without Scooby
When Warner Bros.’s adult animated show Velma was announced in 2021 with executive producer, screenwriter, and voice actress Mindy Kaling aboard to voice the titular character, fans of the Scooby-Doo franchise seemed somewhat excited, though hesitant about the premise of an adult-orientated Scooby Doo show. This speculation was only amplified as outcry emerged at reports of the show race-swapping existing members of the Mystery Incorporated gang in an attempt to approach the characters’ origins through new, more contemporary lenses. Further criticism was thrown at the show upon the reveal that the series’ mascot Scooby-Doo would not be featured, sending fans spiraling before the show even premiered. However, while Velma’s creative reimagination does at times cause confusion, it isn’t what ultimately causes the show to fail despite two seasons and a Halloween special.
Upon its 2023 premiere, Velma almost instantly gained fire from all corners of the internet, as out-of-context clips of the show filled the internet’s timelines. Fans immediately criticized the show’s new tone, which failed to modernize and age up the franchise’s humor by instead resorting to potty humor and jabbing at millennials and ‘wokeness’. For most viewers, the show didn’t resonate as anything more than an adult comedy with a Scooby-Doo paint job.
Fan Backlash: Race-Swapping and Tone Missteps in Velma
While the show attempts to engage with its own history, it fails the most in its conceit, reimagining Velma as less of a clever, critical investigator and more as a loud-mouthed troll who annoys her way through her mysteries while occasionally connecting two plus two. The show’s supporting cast is reimagined to some success, with Glenn Howerton portraying a spoiled, physically & emotionally stunted Fred, Constance Wu bringing an attitude and a criminal mischievousness to Daphne, and Sam Richardson trying his hardest to defy Shaggy’s stoner archetype. Though the voice cast succeeds at delivering the occasional joke or absurdism, the show’s tone is perhaps hampered by its ambition.
Velma aims not only to break new ground as an adult-orientated Scooby Doo adaptation, but also create new, modernized versions of the characters, incorporate high school hijinks, and establish a sense of risk and mystery that engages an older audience. Scooby Doo as a franchise has almost always been procedural, with your classic monster-of-the-week or man-in-a-monster-mask-of-the-week storyline. Most of the payoff from the original show and the more beloved movies is that each episode delivers on mysteries, monsters, and hilarious hijinks as the more competent members of Mystery Inc. fend off Shaggy and Scooby’s incompetency. Velma is the second attempt at a serialized Scooby Doo show after Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated, a show intended for older child audiences that continued to engage with the monster-of-the-week format while developing character relationships and a multi-season arc. However, Velma abandons the weekly mystery that was critical for Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated needs to have a foundation to hold onto as that series’ serial elements develop. At almost all opportunities, the show seems like it’s doing too much, juggling too many storylines, reimaginings, and trying its hardest to cram in parody and humor.
Where Velma Went Wrong: A Weak Mystery and Overloaded Plot
From the get go, Velma follows the origin of Velma’s mystery solving, detailing how Velma’s curiosity resulted in her mother mysteriously disappearing with few clues to aid in her rediscovery. Two years later, a traumatized Velma blames herself for her mother’s disappearance and swears not to solve mysteries again, even as the brains of popular local girls start disappearing, creating a rumor mill about a local serial killer. Most of the show’s issues come from the fact that the show fails to find interest in the group dynamics of Mystery Inc, instead stapling together loosely related plotlines for not one, but two seasons without officially assembling Mystery Inc. Even after critical and audience outcry at the show, the second season doubles down with a continuation of the storyline about Velma’s missing mother and how she’s tied to weird doings in the town. While the show tries to respond to some of its outcry by incorporating more existing Scooby Doo characters, it never quite figures out what it’s trying to do, once again resulting in a season that feels like a poorly rebranded adult comedy forced into a Scooby Doo mold.
While Velma’s lack of careful plotting and consideration of the show’s source material practically breaks it on a conceptual level, the show isn’t all misses. The voice cast manages to stand apart from long-standing predecessors, lending unique angles and opportunities to set this iteration of Mystery Inc. apart from past re-angles. The show’s humor, while a bit too reliant on the crudeness and depravity of early 2010s adult animation, occasionally hits a laugh by poking apart the show’s own absurdity. At its most meta, the show comes across as clever, tearing at the teens solving mysteries tropes the original set to establish, while struggling to lean into the elements that would appeal to long-term fans. The fact that Scrappy-Doo makes a major appearance before Scooby Doo and the show’s hesitancy to become what is so beloved of the franchise ultimately hits the brakes on being anything memorable before the show’s abrupt cancellation following its Halloween special.
What’s Next for Scooby-Doo: Netflix’s Live-Action Series
Despite Velma’s failings and fumblings, there remains some hope for the Scooby-Doo franchise despite Warner Bros. repeated insistence on canceling completed Scooby-Doo films intended for both direct-to-streaming and theatrical markets. As of April 2025, Netflix is moving ahead with an 8-episode live-action series that will serve as the first television live-action adaptation of the source material. Showrunners Josh Appelbaum and Scott Rosenberg will tackle the origin of Mystery Inc, which multiple Scooby-Doo adaptations have tackled in the past; however, details remain sparse on the project. The project seems to be produced with a production team with diverse backgrounds, with some members hailing from CW projects and other network programming while others have streaming experience.
As a lifelong Scooby-Doo fan, the most I can hope for this new adventure for the franchise is that it continues to rely on the DNA of the show that made it initially successful. From the original series to the many spinoffs and remakes it has produced, the show has always been about solving mysteries, the hijinks needed to solve them, and how what appears isn’t exactly what it actually is. The hope is that this new series won’t forget the mysteries, will commit fully to its new angle at the source material, and remember what is most beloved by Scooby-Doo fans is the characters & how they navigate hijinks. We don’t need a shot-for-shot live-action remake or a gritty rework to be happy, we just need those who are taking swings at the franchise to be passionate and genuine about using it as a foundation to expand upon, rather than create a totally new show with a Scooby-Doo makeup job.
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