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Buffy at 25: The Agony and The Ecstasy of ‘Becoming’

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25 years ago, Sarah Michelle Gellar’s Buffy Summers was winding down her worst year yet at Sunnydale High—but it was about to get way worse.

Her hot vampire boyfriend Angel (David Boreanaz) lost his soul and went evil because of a curse triggered by one true moment of happiness—and his moment came in the form of him sleeping with our beloved vampire slayer. Her birthday alone that year was a nightmare—she lost her virginity, got told by her newly evil boyfriend that the sex was bad, and then had to pick up a rocket launcher and save the world. Again.

Angel had teamed up with his former vamp partners Spike (James Marsters) and Drusilla (Juliet Landau) to wreak havoc on Sunnydale and the slayer herself. Angel had killed Jenny Calendar (Robia LaMorte), which shook the scoobies and left Buffy’s watcher Giles (Anthony Stewart Head) grieving and not on his A game for the rest of the season. It also gave Buffy the kick she needed to be ready to finally take out her evil ex.

The Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 2 episode, “Becoming,” aired part 1 on May 12th, 1998, and part 2 on May 19th, 1998. The show rarely had any skips, and it always nailed a season finale—but this, this was a TV event. The entire season had built to this finale. We’d watched the scoobies go through it that season—fear, anger, grief, romance, and everything in between. This finale could stand on its own as a movie, but the character development throughout the season earned them the finale. This season, and every other season of Buffy, is an argument for why 22 episode television seasons are good.

The finale starts with Angel watching our slayer and plotting. He’s found Acathla and created a plot to destroy the world. But he wants to torture his ex some more before he does it. The other slayer, Kendra (Bianca Lawson), even comes to town to help. But our slayer fails, and her crew is completely taken out of the picture—Buffy is on her own, and honestly, that’s what sells this finale.

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“The big moments are gonna come. You can’t help that. It’s what you do afterwards that counts. That’s when you find out who you are.”

When Willow (Alyson Hannigan) asks Buffy if she’s ready to fight Angel, she replies, “Yes, I’m ready. I’m also willing and able.” And she is—earlier in the season, she explicitly said she needed time, but she’s had time. She’s ready, and so is the audience–the only problem is that so is Angel.

Buffy Summers is a flawed hero in the best way—she messes up, fails, is emotional, is a good friend, cares too much, can be a loner, is very type A. But all of her ‘flawed hero’-ness is what makes her fail. Part 1 of the finale is all about her failing. It leads to her best friends being hospitalized, her watcher being kidnapped, and her fellow slayer being killed. We get maybe the most iconic shot of the series with her slow-motion running in her beautiful, flowy teal coat to save her friends—and it’s heartbreaking because we know she’s already failed. It feels more real knowing what she’s running towards. It’s not exactly empowering to watch your hero fail, but it’s relatable and only makes you root for her harder. We want to see her pick up the pieces so we can too.

There’s something to be said for watching your hero fail, but still try. And in part 2, she’s expelled from school and kicked out of her house by her mother after she comes out to her…as a vampire slayer. But Buffy never gives up. It’s uplifting to know that if Buffy Summers can make it through all this, then I can make it through whatever non-world-ending shit I have going on in my life.

During the final act of part 2, we see Angel about to stab Buffy with his sword, and he asks her, “What’s left?” as she catches his sword and says, “Me,” before hitting him in the face with his own sword. It’s something I revisit when I’m feeling depressed or isolated. It’s a scene that I channel in my day-to-day. Buffy has no backup, no safety net—she’s in this fight alone, but she’ll be damned if she isn’t going to win this fight.

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When I was grieving over the loss of a very close friend, I’d often put that scene on to feel something. Sometimes it’d make me cry, sometimes it’d motivate me to get out of bed. It’s one of the most empowering pieces of media I’ve ever consumed. She’s got nothing left, but she sure as shit isn’t gonna go down without a fight. I think of her calm, “me” response often—it’s the kind of determination I can only hope to achieve.

Buffy season 5’s “The Body” is a masterclass on grief, but I’d say “Becoming” is a masterclass in what comes next. Life doesn’t stop because you’re grieving. Life doesn’t stop because you’ve been expelled from school the same day your friend dies, and your mom kicks you out. Angel’s evil plan doesn’t wait because Buffy has too much on her plate. In fact, Angel doesn’t even know the full extent to which our slayer is suffering—not that he’d care. She’s facing more than just the Big Bad’s world-ending scheme.

And that’s life. We have nightmare election cycles, pandemics, dipshit conservatives, homophobes, family issues, and friend issues— they don’t come one at a time. Sometimes if you’re lucky, they’ll come two at a time, but most of the time, these things all seem to happen at once.

And when they do, I remind myself that Buffy Summers still killed her newly ensouled vampire boyfriend to save the world, a world that had taken a big shit on her, a world that had taken so much—but she still saved the day. And while I may not have slayer strength, I try to channel her as much as I can to save myself.

We keep fighting because we have to, because, in the end, we still have ourselves to fight for—just like Buffy.

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Ian Carlos Crawford grew up in southern New Jersey and has an MFA in non-fiction writing. His favorite things are Buffy, Scream, X-Men, and pugs. His writing has appeared on sites like BuzzFeed, NewNowNext, Junkee, and other random corners of the internet. He currently hosts a queer Buffy and Marvel focused pop culture podcast called Slayerfest 98 and co-hosts a horror podcast called My Bloody Judy.

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The Creep Tapes: Mom (and Albert) (S1E6)

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We’ve reached the end of The Creep Tapes Season 1! Whew, time flies.

This season has taken us through the wild kills of Josef (Mark Duplass) over an unspecified amount of time. From open wetlands to making a true crime story, Josef has shown us the depths of his maniacal depravity. Episode 6 follows in the footsteps of Episode 5 (Brandt) by showing us a deeper look into the psyche of Josef and what makes him him.

“Mom (and Albert)” follows Josef as he makes a surprise visit to his mother’s (Krisha Fairchild) house. Shortly into Josef’s visit, he’s introduced to her new beau, Albert (John Craven). Josef isn’t sure how to take his mother’s partner and does whatever he can to make the visit as awkward as possible. But will the awkwardness turn into murder? Will this be the first Creep Tape without a kill?

(Spoilers from here on out.)

First and foremost, we finally get what we’ve all been begging for…DONG! Josef throws a fit and runs away. His mother goes looking for him and finds him naked with half of his body (head first) in a jacuzzi. He eventually comes out of the hot tub and we finally see the penis of a madman. So, for those who stuck through the first five episodes just to see if we got it, well, there you go!

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Everything about Episode 6 is freaky and paints Josef in somewhat of a sympathetic light. One of the things we learn is Josef’s unique obsession with Forest Gump. As someone who has only seen bits and pieces of Forest Gump on TNT over the years, I cannot really comment on if/why that is important. What I can comment on is the information that directly impacts Josef as a character.

When Albert arrives, his mother introduces Josef to Albert, saying, “This is my favorite son, Wolfie.” This lends us two important pieces. But before we unpack that, Josef’s mother reveals she still has his stuffed animal named Wolfie. We also learn that when Josef was six, he had a bad dream and ripped the wolf’s head off. His mother goes on to say that she didn’t sew it back on completely so that he remembered what he did. Josef has an age regression issue. He goes to check out his bed, and when he realizes it’s not his “special bed,” he throws a fit.

What does this teach us? The most obvious thing it teaches us is that Josef has been babied far too long. His mother calls him by the name that he calls his stuffed animal, which he ripped the head off of. From what we’ve learned, his mother has purposely stunted his emotional growth OR didn’t do anything to make sure Josef’s mental health was addressed from a young age. Returning to how he was introduced to Albert, she says that Wolfie is her favorite son. This either implies that Josef has siblings OR that his mother is also a pathological liar and is feeding Albert a false narrative of her life.

Given what we’ve seen to the point of Albert’s introduction, either of those two options is possible. By the time that Josef kills Albert, his mother doesn’t really seem too upset. Even though his mother shoots down Josef when he tells Albert that he wants to film with him, it’s clear she knows more than she’s leading on.

But that’s when we get the all-too-telling final shot of the season. Josef and his mother have a conversation on the ground next to where Albert is now buried. Earlier in the episode, Josef’s mother comments on how he breastfed for 6 years; he was also a biter. Cut to post-Albert kill. Josef and his mother awkwardly embrace and Josef suckles from her. It’s truly appalling and tells us all we really need to know.

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Episode 6 was fantastic and gave us a proper backstory into who Josef is and why. Now we must take into account that Josef’s mother may be just as pathological as he is, but I feel there is some truth in what she says.

The Creep Tapes has been a welcome entry into Creep cannon, and if Shudder is smart, they will have already asked Duplass and Brice to start Season 2.

What did you think about this series? Was it everything you wanted from a Creep expansion? And what was your favorite tape?

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The Creep Tapes: Brandt (S1E5)

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The Creep Tapes is nearing its finale, which is a damn shame! This season has been a blast to go through, and with any luck, we’ll hear news of a second season shortly. But there’s no need to sing our sorrows because we still have Episodes 5 and 6 to get through! Episode 5, “Brandt”, is the most experimental and mind-boggling of what we’ve seen thus far.

It’s difficult to get into this episode without spoilers, so fair warning.

“Brandt” finds Josef (Mark Duplass), who goes by Kyle, alone in a hotel room, patiently awaiting Brandt’s arrival (Scott Pitts). Brandt’s persistent tardiness slowly throws Josef into a spiral of psychosis and anger. A missed opportunity with a random hotel guest (Tai Leclaire) makes Josef angrier at a wasted opportunity. Will Brandt show up and finally meet his end at the hands of Josef? Or will This be Josef’s first kill-free tape?

This episode will surely ruffle some feathers regarding the lore of the franchise. It’s been made clear that editing goes into Josef’s tapes, which we’ve seen in some of these previous tapes and in the films. Josef spends most of this tape alone in this hotel room with Peachfuzz. And not just with the mask of Peachfuzz, but actual Peachfuzz. If you haven’t seen the episode, that might not make sense.

The scene that really makes Josef’s editing prominent is when he sits across from himself (as Peachfuzz) on the bed while they eat P.F. Chang’s—at first, this confused me. Is there a second person helping Josef commit these crimes? Then we get to the scene where Peachfuzz somehow cuts the power to the room while Josef is on camera doing something else. And this culminates in Josef getting knocked out by the butt of an axe when he opens a closet door.

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Everything points toward Peachfuzz being a second person who is NOT Josef. When Josef wakes up from being knocked out, he is in the bathtub with his hands tied above his head. BUT when Brandt finally shows up, Josef slips out of his binds. So it’s clear that Josef put himself into this situation and edited the footage in a way that made himself out to be Peachfuzz.

Whether or not this episode will work for everyone is up in the air. It took a second rewatch for it all to really sink in. Josef’s mania is on full display here. When he thinks his victim will not be showing up, it leads him down a path of self-destruction. Even though Brandt does show up, Josef follows through with editing the tape in a way that propels the idea of Peachfuzz being a separate entity from Josef the man.

One of the things we learn early on in the episode is that this is Josef’s “first solo project.” We can assume this means Brandt will be Josef’s first Peachfuzz-less kill. But in the end, Peachfuzz wins and throws the axe at Brandt. What this also does is give us somewhat of a timeline to go on. At this point in the series, we’ve witnessed Josef kill people without the use of Peachfuzz. This leads us to assume that Brandt was early on in his kill list.

It will be fun to watch people pick apart and analyze this episode over the coming weeks/months, and I’m genuinely interested to see what audiences think of this episode. With one more creep tape left in the season, what do you think will happen? Will there be any more factually accurate Josef lore? Or will we get more of a deep dive into his unhinged, pathological lying psyche?

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