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Happy Birthday Buffy: A Love Letter To Our Favorite Vampire Slayer On Her 42nd Birthday

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“Why don’t we start with, ‘Hi, I’m Buffy’….

“What’s the meaning behind this stick figure,” the tattoo artist asked my friend and me about the tattoo we were getting together. We both glanced at each other, seeing which one of us would explain it first.

“It’s from Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” my friend said.

“Cool, cool, I remember that movie,” the artist said casually.

“It’s something someone draws in an episode,” I said, giving more explanation than the artist cared about. I didn’t go on to tell him that the stick figure is a drawing our favorite surrogate TV dad, watcher Rupert Giles (Anthony Stewart Head), did of the Slayer in the iconic episode “Hush,” where they all lose their voices. I didn’t tell him I have a Buffy the Vampire Slayer podcast. I didn’t tell him that the show is far superior to the movie. I didn’t give him my rant about Sarah Michelle Gellar being one of the most underrated actors.

But I thought it all.

As I approach 40 and our beloved slayer approaches 42, I can say with absolute assurance that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is not only my favorite show but my favorite thing. It’s been one of the few constants in my life.

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“Of course, you could smash my toes with a hammer and it would still be the bestest Buffy birthday bash in a while.”

January 19th is the date the Buffy the Vampire Slayer fandom has decided is Buffy’s birthday. Mostly due to the fact that her birthday episodes always aired towards the end of January and that she says, “Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius. You?” in an episode where she’s asked, “What are you?”

My birthday is January 21st—I used to love to think growing up that we had the same birthday, but I’ll take two days apart.

Buffy’s birthdays have seen her heroic vampire boyfriend turn evil, her lose her powers, her watcher get turned into a demon, her sister scream, “get out,” and even seen everyone attending her party get trapped in the house. But, of course, Buffy Anne Summers overcame it all. And her birthday disasters barely scratch the surface of the things she has overcome. She’s died twice, after all.

“That was then. This is now.”

The birthday episode that always sticks with me is maybe the most iconic one—Buffy season 2’s two-parter “Surprise” and “Innocence.” Buffy and her beloved Angel (David Boreanaz) have sex for the first time and we quickly learn that due to a curse, his soul leaves his body once he has one true moment of happiness. In the episodes, he berates Buffy for her lack of sexual experience and tries to kill her friends. Buffy ends her celebration on the couch with her mother, watching the lone candle in her cupcake burn.

These episodes were when the show really showed you what it would become. Both funny and dark—bringing in the emotional beats for the rest of season 2 and giving us the new big bad, Angel’s evil alter ego, Angelus.

In those stellar two-part episodes we also get one of the greatest moments of the show—Buffy pulling out a rocket launcher inside the Sunnydale Mall to blow up the newly resurrected evil demon, The Judge; it’s such a big moment—Buffy has been beaten down by her newly evil boyfriend, yet she still stands up and saves the day.

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It encapsulates everything that makes the show great—Buffy always stands back up.

“Can stand up, will stand up”

I started my Buffy podcast, Slayerfest 98, for the 20th anniversary of the show. But by the time I started it, I’d already interviewed some of the cast when I’d interned at BuzzFeed. In fact, Amber Benson (who played Tara) was my first-ever celebrity interview, and she spoiled all the rest for me. I interviewed her at New York Comic Con, and she invited me to go out drinking with her after the con—where I’d meet Tom Lenk (Andrew) and Adam Busch (Warren). I ended the night doing a shot of Fireball whiskey with Amber. It was a nerd’s dream come true.

Meeting those folks that night helped me get them on the podcast. And helped me branch out into getting other guests as well.

If I’d ever told teen me that I’d start a Buffy podcast where I’d get to interact with and talk to cast members from the show regularly, I have no doubt teen me would call bullshit. But through my podcast, I’ve gotten to speak with James Marsters (Spike), Charisma Carpenter (Cordelia Chase), Clare Kramer (Glory), and a bunch of other stellar folks from the show. I’ve even formed friendships with some of them.

Once, over a video call, James Marsters said, “Is that a painting of Sarah?” He was right, it was, and I cringed because I thought I looked like an unhinged fan. But he was nice and asked about it, and I told him it was something a friend had painted for me for my 19th birthday. He told me it was a good likeness.

When I get super down about my career, and where I am in life, I remember how cool it is that I’ve formed these relationships through my podcast. I also remind myself of all the things I watched Miss Summers overcome and think I can make it too.

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“I’m cookie dough. I’m not done baking. I’m not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I’m going to turn out to be”

After getting my ‘Buffy Will Patrol Tonight’ tattoo above my right knee, I felt incredibly emotional. It was my 4th tattoo, but my first Buffy-themed one, and I was so happy to have my forever hero on me.

My friend hugged me because he could see how I was reacting. It’s weird to say that having a man stab you with a needle is an emotional experience but it was.

I often think about how I’m not done becoming whomever I’m going to become, even as I turn 40. I still relate to what Buffy Summers said during the final season about being cookie dough. It’s always how I feel, even if I am significantly older than she was back then.

I didn’t get a Buffy tattoo for the longest time because of the creator being a jerk and because I thought fandom tattoos were a risk—what if I eventually outgrew the fandom?

But as a man approaching middle age, who still absolutely loves this show, I think it’s safe to say I won’t be outgrowing it ever.

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So, thanks, Buffy, for always being there for me—and happy birthday.

Love Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Here are our 9 favorite episodes to watch on Buffy’s birthday!

Ian Carlos Crawford grew up in southern New Jersey and has an MFA in non-fiction writing. His favorite things are Buffy, Scream, X-Men, and pugs. His writing has appeared on sites like BuzzFeed, NewNowNext, Junkee, and other random corners of the internet. He currently hosts a queer Buffy and Marvel focused pop culture podcast called Slayerfest 98 and co-hosts a horror podcast called My Bloody Judy.

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The Creep Tapes: Mom (and Albert) (S1E6)

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We’ve reached the end of The Creep Tapes Season 1! Whew, time flies.

This season has taken us through the wild kills of Josef (Mark Duplass) over an unspecified amount of time. From open wetlands to making a true crime story, Josef has shown us the depths of his maniacal depravity. Episode 6 follows in the footsteps of Episode 5 (Brandt) by showing us a deeper look into the psyche of Josef and what makes him him.

“Mom (and Albert)” follows Josef as he makes a surprise visit to his mother’s (Krisha Fairchild) house. Shortly into Josef’s visit, he’s introduced to her new beau, Albert (John Craven). Josef isn’t sure how to take his mother’s partner and does whatever he can to make the visit as awkward as possible. But will the awkwardness turn into murder? Will this be the first Creep Tape without a kill?

(Spoilers from here on out.)

First and foremost, we finally get what we’ve all been begging for…DONG! Josef throws a fit and runs away. His mother goes looking for him and finds him naked with half of his body (head first) in a jacuzzi. He eventually comes out of the hot tub and we finally see the penis of a madman. So, for those who stuck through the first five episodes just to see if we got it, well, there you go!

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Everything about Episode 6 is freaky and paints Josef in somewhat of a sympathetic light. One of the things we learn is Josef’s unique obsession with Forest Gump. As someone who has only seen bits and pieces of Forest Gump on TNT over the years, I cannot really comment on if/why that is important. What I can comment on is the information that directly impacts Josef as a character.

When Albert arrives, his mother introduces Josef to Albert, saying, “This is my favorite son, Wolfie.” This lends us two important pieces. But before we unpack that, Josef’s mother reveals she still has his stuffed animal named Wolfie. We also learn that when Josef was six, he had a bad dream and ripped the wolf’s head off. His mother goes on to say that she didn’t sew it back on completely so that he remembered what he did. Josef has an age regression issue. He goes to check out his bed, and when he realizes it’s not his “special bed,” he throws a fit.

What does this teach us? The most obvious thing it teaches us is that Josef has been babied far too long. His mother calls him by the name that he calls his stuffed animal, which he ripped the head off of. From what we’ve learned, his mother has purposely stunted his emotional growth OR didn’t do anything to make sure Josef’s mental health was addressed from a young age. Returning to how he was introduced to Albert, she says that Wolfie is her favorite son. This either implies that Josef has siblings OR that his mother is also a pathological liar and is feeding Albert a false narrative of her life.

Given what we’ve seen to the point of Albert’s introduction, either of those two options is possible. By the time that Josef kills Albert, his mother doesn’t really seem too upset. Even though his mother shoots down Josef when he tells Albert that he wants to film with him, it’s clear she knows more than she’s leading on.

But that’s when we get the all-too-telling final shot of the season. Josef and his mother have a conversation on the ground next to where Albert is now buried. Earlier in the episode, Josef’s mother comments on how he breastfed for 6 years; he was also a biter. Cut to post-Albert kill. Josef and his mother awkwardly embrace and Josef suckles from her. It’s truly appalling and tells us all we really need to know.

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Episode 6 was fantastic and gave us a proper backstory into who Josef is and why. Now we must take into account that Josef’s mother may be just as pathological as he is, but I feel there is some truth in what she says.

The Creep Tapes has been a welcome entry into Creep cannon, and if Shudder is smart, they will have already asked Duplass and Brice to start Season 2.

What did you think about this series? Was it everything you wanted from a Creep expansion? And what was your favorite tape?

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The Creep Tapes: Brandt (S1E5)

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The Creep Tapes is nearing its finale, which is a damn shame! This season has been a blast to go through, and with any luck, we’ll hear news of a second season shortly. But there’s no need to sing our sorrows because we still have Episodes 5 and 6 to get through! Episode 5, “Brandt”, is the most experimental and mind-boggling of what we’ve seen thus far.

It’s difficult to get into this episode without spoilers, so fair warning.

“Brandt” finds Josef (Mark Duplass), who goes by Kyle, alone in a hotel room, patiently awaiting Brandt’s arrival (Scott Pitts). Brandt’s persistent tardiness slowly throws Josef into a spiral of psychosis and anger. A missed opportunity with a random hotel guest (Tai Leclaire) makes Josef angrier at a wasted opportunity. Will Brandt show up and finally meet his end at the hands of Josef? Or will This be Josef’s first kill-free tape?

This episode will surely ruffle some feathers regarding the lore of the franchise. It’s been made clear that editing goes into Josef’s tapes, which we’ve seen in some of these previous tapes and in the films. Josef spends most of this tape alone in this hotel room with Peachfuzz. And not just with the mask of Peachfuzz, but actual Peachfuzz. If you haven’t seen the episode, that might not make sense.

The scene that really makes Josef’s editing prominent is when he sits across from himself (as Peachfuzz) on the bed while they eat P.F. Chang’s—at first, this confused me. Is there a second person helping Josef commit these crimes? Then we get to the scene where Peachfuzz somehow cuts the power to the room while Josef is on camera doing something else. And this culminates in Josef getting knocked out by the butt of an axe when he opens a closet door.

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Everything points toward Peachfuzz being a second person who is NOT Josef. When Josef wakes up from being knocked out, he is in the bathtub with his hands tied above his head. BUT when Brandt finally shows up, Josef slips out of his binds. So it’s clear that Josef put himself into this situation and edited the footage in a way that made himself out to be Peachfuzz.

Whether or not this episode will work for everyone is up in the air. It took a second rewatch for it all to really sink in. Josef’s mania is on full display here. When he thinks his victim will not be showing up, it leads him down a path of self-destruction. Even though Brandt does show up, Josef follows through with editing the tape in a way that propels the idea of Peachfuzz being a separate entity from Josef the man.

One of the things we learn early on in the episode is that this is Josef’s “first solo project.” We can assume this means Brandt will be Josef’s first Peachfuzz-less kill. But in the end, Peachfuzz wins and throws the axe at Brandt. What this also does is give us somewhat of a timeline to go on. At this point in the series, we’ve witnessed Josef kill people without the use of Peachfuzz. This leads us to assume that Brandt was early on in his kill list.

It will be fun to watch people pick apart and analyze this episode over the coming weeks/months, and I’m genuinely interested to see what audiences think of this episode. With one more creep tape left in the season, what do you think will happen? Will there be any more factually accurate Josef lore? Or will we get more of a deep dive into his unhinged, pathological lying psyche?

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