The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula’s move to Shudder arrived with its largest prize to date and some welcome production upgrades – c’mawn Shudder! Aside from a sleeker boudoir, stronger editing, and some other bells and whistles, one aspect that’s been noticeably elevated is the cold open at the start of each episode. I’ve always loved these artistic segments that tie into the week’s theme with flair and reverence for the horror genre, and now the higher-budget shorts are more stylish and spookier than ever.
These openings and their respective closers – in which the exterminated queen stars in a flashy murder scene – truly blend a reality competition series with the horror films that the Boulets and their Monsters treasure so dearly. Like everything else on The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula, the concept is unique and adds to the excitement of tuning in each week. So, in honor of these devilishly entertaining shorts, the following are my Top 3 Cold Opens of Season 4, with a few runners up for good measure.
Episode 1 – The Witch Queens of Samhain
The best opening of the entire series, in my opinion, Season 4’s premiere brings us way back to one of the earliest competitions, The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula: Origins Serving us Galadriel from Lord of the Rings doing ASMR, an ethereal voice narrates the ceremony as a group of unholy peasants participates. We witness a barbaric extermination of yore, and a former Drag Supermonster is crowned, drenched in their competitors’ blood. Suddenly, we’re in the present-day, watching horror fans with newly acquired Boulet Brothers masks ogle their prize. One by one, the masks possess their hosts and transform them into killers on behalf of their Boulet overlords – you really should leave collector’s items in their original packaging, dearies. Later, during the Extermination, we see these masked minions hunt the bottom two through the woods in a music video homage to 80s slashers.
These sequences bookend the episode to let you know Season 4 is here in a big way. This isn’t simply a cute promo teaser or a bad skit…we’re given an actual, fantastical backstory to the series and an introduction to the season in the form of a legitimate short film. The imagery in the flashback is genuinely unsettling, and the present-day bit is the stuff of a classic slasher, gradually building tension as it goes. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think you were starting up Witch Queens IV: Curse of the Drag Queenon Shudder.
Episode 4: Hair Metal Strip Club
This opener welcomes the Boulets favorite episode of every season, the Monsters of Rock challenge. It fittingly and perfectly manifests their bad bitch attitude. After reintroducing us to Season 2 winner Biqtch Puddin’s iconically filthy janitor, we watch as the Boulets enter their club in transcendent hair metal couture and take a seat at the poles. Surrounded by male erotic dancers and (presumably) mounds of cocaine, the duo sits back for a show. Unfortunately, the male in their gaze spills a solo cup full of tequila all over Madame Swanthula, and, with the snap of her fingers, the cold-hearted bitch has him choked out between some meaty thighs. Unbothered, the party continues.
Once American Idol introduced the world to Simon Cowell, every reality television competition felt it needed that one “asshole judge” persona to keep things spicy. The Boulets are not mean, but they don’t take anyone’s crap and effortlessly embody two fabulous c-words who, now and again, show a softer side to their Monsters. These two are who they say they are, not a pair of jesters delivering zingers for our entertainment (although they do have some good ones), and the hair metal opener is entirely their brand of sex, drugs, and rock & roll. The all-white contacts and the fact that we’ve never seen them out of drag certainly help to perpetuate their intimidating mystery.
Episode 8: Murder Marionettes
Pupaphobians beware! This week’s theme may be Killer Clowns, but the real stars of the show are the marionettes made in the Boulet’s likeness. These cackling puppets welcome us to the Circus of Clowns and its journey into madness like the good satanic ringleaders they are. Soon, their clowns are on the attack, and innocent dolls looking for a show are spewing blood at high velocity.
Of course, the creativity displayed throughout a season of The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula knows no bounds, but I was absolutely delighted by the appearance of these Barbies of the Bordello. Their pouty facial expressions and chaotic movements were a joy to behold, and I always welcome a dose of comedy with my horror. By the episode’s end, we’re even treated to marionettes of the Final Four awaiting judgment before the finale. I guess your very own personalized Annabelle is a nice consolation prize for falling short of $100,000.
Runners-Ups These two certainly stood out to me, but ultimately couldn’t murder the hair metal marionettes of Samhain.
Episode 2: Nosferatu Beach Party
In what is surely the zaniest cold open of the season, the Boulets let their guard down to reveal a campier side not often seen on the show. Shot in the style of a 1950s beach party flick, we’re treated to Drac and Swan letting loose with their men and moonscreen until an unwelcome outsider encroaches on their fun. All tea all shade to the exterminated queen of the week.
Episode 7: Exorsisters
This blasphemous opener finds the Boulets in a tiny electric chapel, on the prowl for human sacrifice. Swan spits acid onto a crucifix via a nasty little practical effect, and it’s there they see a hunky priest at the pulpit. He’s forced to disrobe and is left cowering in fear and humiliation as they prepare for ritual sacrifice. It’s no “Judas” or “Montero” video in sheer production scale, but even so is fervently offensive to those of the cloth.
Horror openings often hook you in with a macabre precursor of what’s to come, and these gutsy Season 4 cold opens allow the show’s unique viewpoint to pop from reel one. With another season in the grave, I look forward to experiencing the Boulets one-up themselves for many more to come.
The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula is available to stream on Shudder.