Reviews
[REVIEW] The Prophecy Calls For Faith In ‘End of Days’ (1999)
Jericho Cane (Arnold Schwarzenegger) lost his job, family, and seemingly, his drive for life. Bobby Chicago (Kevin Pollak) and Jericho Cane spend their days as armed security for bigwigs throughout the five boroughs. Their latest job is to protect The Man (Gabriel Byrne), and when the job goes seriously wrong, Jericho and Bobby are thrust into a world much darker than they could have imagined. A war of good versus evil comes to light as Jericho finds himself to be the sole protector of Christine York (Robin Tunney). Will they succeed and fend off the devil? Or will this all lead to…the End of Days?
Stereotyped actors in Hollywood throughout the ‘80s and ‘90s never really took chances. Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, and (yuck) Steven Seagal played it close to the chest. Later in their respective careers (sans Seagal), they would occasionally step out of their genre, but more often than not, they stayed with characters they were comfortable with. The only one of these types of actors who really tried to do things differently was Arnold Schwarzenegger. He broke the mold with films like Twins, Kindergarten Cop, and End of Days.
Jericho Cane (Arnold Schwarzenegger) lost his job, family, and seemingly, his drive for life. Bobby Chicago (Kevin Pollak) and Jericho Cane spend their days as armed security for bigwigs throughout the five boroughs. Their latest job is to protect The Man (Gabriel Byrne), and when the job goes seriously wrong, Jericho and Bobby are thrust into a world much darker than they could have imagined. A war of good versus evil comes to light as Jericho finds himself to be the sole protector of Christine York (Robin Tunney). Will they succeed and fend off the devil? Or will this all lead to…the End of Days?
From writer Andrew W. Marlowe and director Peter Hyams, End of Days is a fart-rock-fueled blockbuster of epic proportions. We truly don’t get many films like this anymore. Marlowe’s story is a wonderful David-versus-Goliath story with a modern setting propelled by Arnold’s willingness to give into the role. Some digital effects don’t meet current standards; however, they’re used sparingly and work well with the practical effects.
A Broken Hero in a Dark, Supernatural Thriller
Arnold is the lifeblood of End of Days. Gone are his badass action zingers and his machoman attitude is replaced with a broken man at the end of his ropes. Arnold struts around Manhattan fully clothed and un-oiled, delivering lines in a way he hadn’t until this moment. The only moments of this film that genuinely don’t work (for me) are when Marlowe writes some Arny-like lines. Thankfully, there aren’t many of those lines. Arny starts the film with a gun in his mouth, which is a visual you could never imagine from the characters he’s previously portrayed, and it’s almost breathtaking.
End of Days fills the screen with a beautifully gritty New York with shots we haven’t seen in over a decade. Images that would be filmed on a green screen studio take place in a crowded Midtown. Helicopters fly inches away from buildings, bombs go off, and bullets reign. Interestingly, there is only one glimpse of the Twin Towers. Movies that take place in New York around this time usually made sure to get a few full frames of the Twin Towers. But that’s neither here nor there.
Christine’s birthmark is another interesting point. It’s in the shape of the Lululemon logo, or should I say, the Lululemon logo is in the shape of her birthmark. Does that mean Lululemon is also a conduit for the devil? Personally, I would consider Chip Wilson a demon for the number of lives he’s ruined with his awful pyramid scheme.
End of Days Legacy: A Rare Gem in Action-Horror History
With all of that said, Peter Hyams brings an excellent blend of horror and action throughout End of Days. If you’ve ever wanted to see Arny and Miriam Margolyes fight in hand-to-hand combat, then this is the film for you. Surprisingly, the scenes of action revolving around Gabriel Byrne are the most engaging. Beyond the action, Marlowe’s script brings verbal action between Byrne and Arny and between Byrne and Udo Kier. Their verbal back-and-forths with Bryne is a level of fighting that rivals many of the scenes in some of the best ‘80s action films you could name.
End of Days marks a time in cinema when big actors weren’t afraid to take chances, and studios cared about making something practically. Action horror isn’t a subgenre that gets made often, and End of Days feels like a needle in a haystack. The film’s ending concludes the story, so we won’t be getting a sequel. As someone who is on the fence when it comes to reboots, if they could do a fully practical reboot shot on location, I think I’d love to see this film remade. That is, as long as they kept Rob Zombie on the soundtrack.
Reviews
‘Undertone’ Review: A24’s Scariest Since ‘Hereditary’
A24 never stopped pumping out banger horror movies. Let’s get that out of the way, straight away. Even its commercial and critical flops, like Opus or Y2K, still took a lot of really original swings, even if it hasn’t been a string of masterpieces like in their horror heyday of the late 2010s and early 2020s. Still, they may have made their scariest yet with Undertone, in a return to A24’s original MO of pure indie filmmaking.
A Single Location Horror Film Powered by Sound
Undertone is not a perfect movie, with an occasional off story beat, and the ending just missing the mark of perfection, but it is a tried-and-true testament to the power of storytelling. With essentially one active, on-screen actress and a single location, the film manages to create a sensory hellscape with immersive nightmare-inducing audio that has both story and scares derived entirely from a podcast. It is a sensory overload of pure terror, one that feels deeply sinister in its pitch-black story, one that demands to be seen in the darkest possible movie theater.
A24’s Undertone: A True Crime Podcast Turns Supernatural
The story is pretty straightforward…at least at first. It follows a true crime/horror podcast host (Nina Kiry), who lives by herself as she takes care of her dying, elderly, and borderline vegetative mother. Her co-host (Adam DiMarco, who is never fully seen) is sent a series of ten mysterious audio files from an unknown address, presumably sent for her to listen to on the show. As they begin to record their latest episode with live reactions to the files, reality slips further as she and her co-host fall into supernatural delirium. Strange noises, slipping time, and other haunted house trimmings all come out to play, each elevated by (as mentioned) horrific sound design and an even more horrific backstory.
Nursery Rhyme Origins and Deeply Disturbing Mythology
The story is about 95% airtight. Without getting too deep into spoilers, the origins of these files and their meaning are deeply fascinating, with some elements and angles involving the origins of nursery rhymes that are very, genuinely disturbing. There is one twist in particular that explores what one of the sounds truly means, which is highly upsetting once pieced together.
That being said, Undertone has some familiar tropes, and while the movie mostly touches upon certain unexplored mythology, certain scenes can feel a little too familiar to other recent demon movies like Shelby Oaks. The true meanings are a lot more creative, but it could have played around with its mythos to create a truly original villain.
Undertone’s Ambiguous Ending Demands a Rewatch
Similarly, the ending is almost perfect. There is a final twist about something the protagonist might have done that is a little confusing, and reframes the context of the film. It is highly interesting, however, and opens up several cans of worms of what this movie has to say about children, motherhood, and parenthood as a whole, as well as posing questions about the movie’s setting and timeline. It is always better to remain vague in horror, which this movie definitely does, but just a slight retweak of its final act could give the audience just the tiniest more understanding, without it going into full, mainstream territory. The film definitely requires a second watch, and in the best way possible.
A Groundbreaking Podcast Horror Experience
In a nutshell, the film’s methods of storytelling are groundbreaking. This movie is not a podcast, but all of its scares and stories are delivered to us like it is one. It feels like the birth of a new medium or style of movie, a perfect blend of audio and visual, with emphasis on the audio.
Additionally, with the story being literally told to us as if we’re listening to the characters’ podcast itself, it is a nightmare rabbit hole.
Reviews
‘Silent Warnings’ (2003) Review: An Unknown UFO Gem
Like many people born in the mid-90s, the Sci-Fi Channel was one of my first introductions to horror. Whether it was random films playing or Sci-Fi’s 31 Days of Halloween, this channel was one of the main channels in my household. For the month of March, we’re going to take a look at Sci-Fi Originals (and maybe I cheated a bit and picked films that had their premiere on Sci-Fi). Picking films for this month was no easy task. Did I want to cover one of the plethora of amalgamated mega-animals fighting each other? Or what about shark tornadoes? One of the films I picked, after finding it too difficult to find Children of the Corn (2009) on streaming services, was an odd alien film I had never even heard of. That film is Silent Warnings.
What is Silent Warnings About?
Layne Vossimer (A.J. Buckley), his girlfriend Macy (Callie De Fabry), and a group of their friends head to Layne’s cousin’s house, Joe (Stephen Baldwin), after his mysterious death. Once there, they find the house in disgusting disarray. The friends decide to help Layne clean it up in order to put it on the market. But things quickly go south when they find a series of VHS tapes Joe left behind in the attic. What’s revealed in those tapes shows something that’s out of this world. Can Layne, his friends, and Sheriff Bill Willingham (Billy Zane) fend off these otherworldly invaders before it’s too late?
Conspiracy Theories, Mental Health, and Paranoia in Silent Warnings
As stated, this film was a late pick as I could not find 2009’s Children of the Corn streaming anywhere. Boy, am I glad I picked this. Silent Warnings has its fair share of issues. But it makes up for them in so many ways. This film is a very sober look into conspiracy theories, mental health, and the lengths that people go to when it comes to perceived threats. We get very little Stephen Baldwin, but what we do get is more than enough. He’s a recluse who lives on his 40-ish-acre property that’s been alien-proofed. His best friend (cousin?) is a scarecrow that has an AK-47. And he constantly records incoherent ramblings with his camcorder. Baldwin absolutely kills in his limited screentime. It’s like Stanislavski said, there are no small parts, only small actors.
Small-Town Horror and UFO Lore in Porterville
The quaint town of Porterville acts as the perfect backdrop for a story like this: a sleepy, nowhere town, where most people know each other. A town where the big call of the day for the Sheriff is about a missing dog. It’s the perfect setup for a story like this. It even mirrors many of the towns mentioned in Silent Invasion: The Pennsylvania UFO-Bigfoot Casebook. Much of this film’s atmosphere, the crop circles, acres of corn, and the disintegrating house, create a condensed world that adds so much claustrophobia to the film’s soul.
Acting, Dialogue, and the Problem with Early 2000s CGI Aliens
That being said, there are quite a few issues. Mainly, the acting. Besides Kim Onasch, Michelle Borth, Billy Zane, and A.J. Buckley (mostly), much of this film’s acting feels very Sci-Fi Original. It doesn’t help that the film’s dialogue, from writers Bill Lundy, Christian McIntire, and Kevin Gendreau, is just plain boring. And that’s not even mentioning how awful the CGI aliens look. A 2003 film about aliens, when only two or three are shown on screen, should be fully practical. And the fact that they use digital aliens takes away much of the film’s punch.
Why Silent Warnings Is an Underrated Sci-Fi Original
Silent Warnings doesn’t break much ground when it comes to the topic of aliens/Ufology, but it’s damn entertaining. But that’s the thing. Films don’t necessarily need to break new ground. I appreciate the swings this film takes, whether they hit or miss. There’s a wonderful setup with Stephen Baldwin, and the slow build to an exciting finale makes it all worth the wait. For a Sci-Fi Original, Silent Warnings has worked its way into my heart.


