Connect with us

Reviews

[REVIEW] ‘Salem’s Lot’ (2024) is Another Toothless Stephen King Remake

Salem’s Lot follows the familiar author, Ben Mears, as he returns to his childhood home to research his next book but discovers the town has a vampire infestation. While this newest iteration retains a few central characters, it does not let them have as much fun as either miniseries that came before it. There is no grandiose Donald Sutherland’s Richard Straker having a devilish time or the sweet Rutger Hauer’s Kurt Barlow rolling across a ceiling energy as seen in the 2004 version. It also does not recapture the few scares that live rent-free in our minds from the 1979 adaptation. Although, this one does return to the 1970s instead of attempting to bring the story forward to modern times. 

Published

on

Salem’s Lot was the first novel I ever read as a kid. I powered through it to watch the Tobe Hooper adaptation on TNT when I was 11 or 12. That was also the tender age when I discovered the book is usually better. I have realized these last few years that this Stephen King novel holds a special place in many horror heads’ hearts. This explains why we have carried so much collective annoyance as the newest version sat around collecting dust for a couple of years after completion. With the checkered history, the ridiculously long wait, and King’s very own stamp of approval, the tension was thick when I hit play on my screener.

Salem’s Lot follows the familiar author, Ben Mears, as he returns to his childhood home to research his next book but discovers the town has a vampire infestation. While this newest iteration retains a few central characters, it does not let them have as much fun as either miniseries that came before it. There is no grandiose Donald Sutherland’s Richard Straker having a devilish time or the sweet Rutger Hauer’s Kurt Barlow rolling across a ceiling energy as seen in the 2004 version. It also does not recapture the few scares that live rent-free in our minds from the 1979 adaptation. Although, this one does return to the 1970s instead of attempting to bring the story forward to modern times. 

This version leaves the iconic kitchen battle toothless. It makes the child floating to the window surprisingly less eerie. However, it does have a few tense moments up its sleeve. Ralphie’s abduction specifically has never been so terrifying on screen. From the actual kidnapping to the audience watching his fatal ending from his POV through a burlap bag, it is unsettling and led me to believe this movie would have more cool stuff to rattle us. Sadly, this would not be the case though.

One thing I loved about this version is Mark Petrie (Jordan Preston Carter). Not only is he seemingly the bravest and smartest person in town, but he is an actual kid. There are no underdeveloped teens who tell bad jokes and get into trouble in The Lot this time. When he encounters a vampire, he turns to his comics for research and starts figuring out his next steps. He is also a Black central character in a Stephen King adaptation that cannot die if we stick to the character arc. I also love that this adds another layer to his isolation in Salem’s Lot and inspired the set designers to sneak a Sugar Hill (1974) poster onto his bedroom wall. I also have to highlight that there was no racial trauma shoehorned in, as that is a trope the industry cannot seem to shake. I was happy that the only time he was picked on was a standard bully, and Mark kicked his ass. I almost clapped when the teacher and other students were on his side because I had braced myself for the worst.

Another thing that works in Salem’s Lot’s favor is that we never waste time trying to convince people vampires are real. If it is not a major plot point, like getting them to the morgue so Ralphie’s undead mom can have some fun, the characters fall into formation. I have to admit that while things faltered after Ralphie’s death, it was cool to have scary vampires again, even if it was too brief. We have been getting too many cutesy non-threatening ones, and I am tired. I want vamps to be brutal, vicious, and frightening. Although some of the vampire activity of Salem’s Lot was undercut by the crosses glowing whenever a baddie was nearby. It was a puzzling choice that I still do not know how to feel about. 

Advertisement

I was rooting for this movie, but it is sadly another missed opportunity to capture the magical world Stephen King built all of those decades ago. I appreciate that this is the leanest version we have seen, clocking in at just under two hours and cutting away any unnecessary characters. However, it also leaves the story feeling a little hollow as we do not really get to know the new iterations of some of these characters. This is especially a shame because Alfre Woodard plays Dr. Cody this time. I would love to see if the character is as messy as all of the male versions of this character. I also just wanted her to have more screen time because it feels like filmmakers do not understand what a powerhouse she is when they cast her. I am still seething about how they wasted her talent in Annabelle while giving her all of the racial tropes we are all tired of seeing. This Salem’s Lot also has what feels like the most rushed attempt at this forced romance between Ben and Susan (Lewis Pullman and Makenzie Leigh). So, his unwillingness to kill her once she is turned is even more confusing than any previous screen adaptation.

What the film lacks in character development and any good scares after Ralphie’s demise funnels over into creativity. I have never seen vampires use cars as coffins, and I have never seen an epic battle go down in a drive-in. There are some cool shots of vamps catching fire, but this also feels like it is going through the motions far too often. This also highlights this film’s problem of having great ideas but no follow-through. Gary Dauberman’s script feels like it bared its fangs but was not ready to sink its teeth into anything. This results in wasting some fantastic set pieces in a movie that mostly plays it safe. I hoped this would be my favorite attempt at Salem’s Lot, but it made me feel sad as I slid it to second place in my mental ranking.

This Salem’s Lot is not the worst version we have seen on screen. The film is quite simply okay, which is fine. I know we feel compelled to love or hate something, but the middle of the road is still something to celebrate. This is probably a good movie for tweens to sneak by parents at slumber parties. It will also make Uncle Stephen’s stans looking for their regularly scheduled adaptations breathe a little easier. However, watching it fall from grace after such an epic disposal of Ralphie is going to leave a lot of King fans as annoyed as I am. 

Salem’s Lot arrives on Max (formerly HBO Max) on October 3.

Advertisement

Sharai is a writer, horror podcaster, freelancer, and recovering theatre kid. She is one-half of the podcast of Nightmare On Fierce Street, one-third of Blerdy Massacre, and co-hosts various other horror podcasts. She has bylines at Dread Central, Fangoria, and Horror Movie Blog. She spends way too much time with her TV while failing to escape the Midwest. You can find her most days on Instagram and Twitter. However, if you do find her, she will try to make you watch some scary stuff.

Continue Reading
Advertisement

Reviews

[REVIEW] ‘Fear Street: Prom Queen’ It’s Not Great…

Published

on

I was obsessed with Fear Street as a kid. I still have my collection of the popular YA horror detailing the murder and mayhem in Shadyside. These books have moved around the country with me. I even secretly hope to adapt a few of them for the screen someday. So, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I have to tell you that Fear Street: Prom Queen is a strong contender for the worst movie to hit streaming (so far) this year. Here is our review of Fear Street: Prom Queen.

I felt Netflix’s 2021 Fear Street trilogy, helmed by Leigh Janiak, was okay. We had some great kills, it added intersectional lead characters as canon, and the soundtrack was a banger. Did it feel more like a project that was moved to Fear Street rather than an adaptation of any of my beloved books? Yes. Was it the worst thing that could have happened to the beloved series? No.

However, I could not help getting more excited for this fourth installment. Mainly because the title Fear Street: Prom Queen is so close to Fear Street: The Prom Queen. It gave my nerd heart hope that we would finally see one of the actual books on screen. However, we rarely get what we want in life.

A Disappointing 1988 Vibe

Fear Street: Prom Queen does take place during prom season. It does have a group of high school girls who want the crown for various reasons. We even eventually get around to some underwhelming murders. However, this 1988 moment left a lot to be desired. When it opens with the synth music and the 1980s high school, giving us Stranger Things vibes, I knew it would be different than anything that came before.

I quickly made peace with that and gave the first act grace, even when it started to experience turbulence. Not only is this installment bad, but it also undoes all of the goodwill the first three movies built with the audience. The characters feel one note, the pacing never finds the gas pedal, and by the time it got to the revealsI wanted to take a nap. 

Advertisement

Fear Street: Prom Queen and its One Dimensional Cast

We follow Lori (India Fowler), an outcast at her school who has been nominated for Prom Queen. As our narrator, she gives us the one-dimensional descriptions of everyone else. This includes her best friend Megan (Suzanna Son), who Lori tells us is a stoner and horror nerd.

We quickly realize Megan is also a Queer sidekick as this movie will not be following in the predecessor’s footsteps. There will be no queer Black characters at the front this time. Anyway, part of Lori’s deal is the town hates her mother because of mysterious events that transpired at her prom while she was pregnant with Lori.

This wild speculation and gossip has become the gospel that haunts Lori. It is also ammunition for her bully and prom queen competition, Tiffany (Fina Strazza).

Tiffany is one of the many characters that could be more interesting. However, the writing and direction will not let her be great. Each time she corners Lori to torment her with an exposition-filled monologue in whispered tones, I wondered if this was really the best option.

The way Tiffany runs her squad and twists the verbal knife into her bestie’s heart gives glimmers of a more interesting villain. Sadly, Fear Street: Prom Queen forces her also to be one-dimensional.

Advertisement

The project also wastes Lili Taylor as Vice Principal Dolores Brekenridge. A woman who demands law and order in her school but is just a stock character. However, at least it allows the actor to stop the whole affair from being a complete flatline.

My fellow millennials will also get a kick out of seeing Chris Klein as Dan Falconer. Dan is a teacher at the high school who happens to also be Tiffany’s dad. He might also have the silliest character arc of anyone in this situation. 

The Killer in Fear Street: Prom Queen

Lackluster Kills with No Tension

One of the things Fear Street (the books and the first three films) has going for them is the kills. Not only do teens die, but also the rest of the teens have to carry on as their classmates get turned into charcuterie.

Fear Street: Prom Queen opted out of all of that. The first kill is an uninspired axe to the shoulder. There was no fight, no struggle or chase. Just a whimper of a weapon going into someone’s back while they look off into the night. That aspiring prom queen is a drug dealer, so a few people ask about her, but no one really looks for her. Any hope that Christy’s (Ariana Greenblatt) whimper of a death scene would not set the tone is dashed at the prom.

Matt Palmer’s direction never allows for any tension building. This would not necessarily be a bad thing if Fear Street: Prom Queen ever found a rhythm. Or at least picked up the pace during the kills. However, they are all as slow and uninspired as the rest of the movie. Co-writers Palmer and Donald Mcleary never gave any of the characters a chance to have texture.

Advertisement

So, none of the deaths have weight on top of the killer just appearing next to the victims as if by magic. They also never got out of their way long enough to let the story do anything interesting or avoid being so formulaic. So, the few times they think they are surprising the audience falls flat.

Formulaic Storytelling and Flat Reveals

Each killer reveal was somehow equally ridiculous, expected, and underwhelming. This makes Lori’s fight for survival too tepid for us to root for her when she gets her final girl moment. 

I tried to gaslight myself into saying the movie was going for camp. After all, Tiffany and Lori have a weird dance-off to Gloria (a 1982 anthem) during the prom when things get too heated. However, as the entire runtime felt like a rehearsal instead of a performance, I might never know what the tone was supposed to be.

Sadly, I stopped trying to understand the mess and endured because that is my job. I finish things and tell people what I saw, and if I think it is worth watching. With great displeasure, I must tell you that Fear Street: Prom Queen feels like CW and Tubi had a baby behind a Radio Shack in hell. Not in a fun and chaotic way. More like the people didn’t understand the assignment and assumed their audience does not have standards.

A Letdown for Fear Street and Slasher Fans

I did not have a good time with Fear Street: Prom Queen and would like my time back. I love slashers and the books the movie is allegedly inspired by. So, I hate that it fails in both lanes.  It especially hurts because the Fear Street books are right there in all their fun glory.

Advertisement

While this did not capture any of the thrills of my favorite parts of the series, it did force me to find even more ways to appreciate the 2021 Netflix trilogy. It was not the Fear Street of our youth, but it got a few things right. Also, it at least gave horror fans something to talk about.

So, it really sucks to see this one campaigning for a spot at the bottom of the discount bin. 

Fear Street: Prom Queen is now available on Netflix.

Advertisement
Continue Reading

Reviews

[Review] ‘Bring Her Back’ A Gut-Wrenching Horror Masterpiece

Published

on

Let’s just say the Philippou brothers are about to commit highway robbery on A24’s budgeting department for the foreseeable future. The sophomore feature film of the former YouTube celebs, Bring Her Back, lands the guys a heavy two-for-two after their directorial debut. 

Bring Her Back: A Triumphant Follow-Up From Philippou Brothers

As cute and carefree as these guys are in conversation, we’d never believe the trauma Danny and Michael Philippou were about to drum up with their grief-soaked house party, Talk To Me. Representing the new generation of horror, much of the film’s praise circled around their ability to add an accurate adolescence to the low vibrational theme of loss.

Their playfulness as a duo hasn’t budged, but the twins’ newest project swaps out any source of teenage nostalgia for an extra helping of domestic dread.

It’s “feel bad “o’clock”, alright. Bring Her Back sits at the stoop of the disturbing side of extreme cinema, similar to Red Rooms or Speak No Evil (2022)– just add a gallon of the bloody stuff.

Sora Wong and Billy Barratt Shine as Siblings in Bring Her Back

The film follows Andy and Piper, siblings who are quickly placed into nightmare foster care after the sudden death of their only parent. It’s felt instantly that the innocence of these characters is about to be challenged in ways the viewer might not be ready for. The bond between Sora Wong as Piper, and Billy Barratt as her brother, Andy, is tangible. The audience will feel how the series of events stretches and disrupts their chemistry from its origin, through its conflict, to the lasting impact of its third act.

Advertisement

Piper is the younger sister. She’s visually impaired, and a victim of bullying at school. Billy is almost 18, and after years of abuse, prioritizes protecting his step-sister from the household horrors that come with adolescence. The desolation is boosted with Sally Hawkins in the role of Laura; the kids’ new foster parent. Personally, I’m thankful Hawkins retired from her career of serving comfort charisma in the Paddington series for something complex and dangerous.

Her newest role is a little relatable… and likable for a little? All around it’s demented. Laura’s fallen into immense emptiness after losing her daughter, but found a seemingly reasonable solution in providing care for kids in need, like her current foster child, Oliver. At least that’s what her alibi tells us.

Weaponizing Empathy in a Horror Movie

The amount of humanity all over this is disturbing. Care is a theme, but it’s really a gag that anyone with an ounce of empathy is subject to trip over. The facade of a safe space lets in the manipulation. The only “what if?” comes from the ability to accept a stranger’s care in a time of struggle. The Philippou’s are wicked to use our human empathy against us.

Sora Wong’s debut performance carries a lot of hope to Piper, which is basically the viewer’s lifeline. Her visual impairment makes little impact on the situation, especially because she has all of the characteristics of a role that horror fans typically hold on to, especially with the weight of this context. Hopefully the young actor finds a taste for horror in her career moving forward.

Practical Effects and Body Horror Steal the Show

The physical horrors I witnessed are some of the worst things you can do to an audience. I honestly wish y’all luck getting this stuff out of your head (complimentary). The first foster child, Oliver, puts all the current creepy children in horror to bed. As strange as Laura gets, he is the conduit of the supernatural element. Jonah Wren Phillips nailing the classic “creepy kid” thing makes him the perfect subject for Philippou’s display of practical effects. The body horror sequences are traumatizing; they last forever, and you’ll hear twice as much as you see, but they’re worth every cent spent in production. These moments make for excellent theater experiences, but I also understand if you’d rather watch at home and sob a little too.

Advertisement

Simply put, Bring Her Back weighs a thousand tons. Somehow, it’s able to complement massive amounts of grief with the kind of practical and emotional depravity you rarely see in a wide release. We are so far from the gateway, folks, so take your trigger warnings seriously.

Continue Reading

Horror Press Mailing List

Fangoria
Advertisement
Advertisement