Reviews
[REVIEW] ‘Crimson Peak’ Conjures A Perfect Gothic Drama
Crimson Peak is the perfect film if you want to dissect and break down exactly how skilled a filmmaker Guillermo Del Toro is. Early in the film, Edith meets with a publisher, where she describes her novel as less of a ghost story and more of a story with ghosts in it. It’s very clearly a kind of unsubtle way for Del Toro to have an actress look at the camera and deliver his ethos on the film directly to you (there’s no way to make a meta line that verbatim says “the ghost is a metaphor” not sound kind of corny).
There are only a handful of directors that I would say have a truly all-encompassing grasp on the films they make. Panos Cosmatos comes to mind, as does Dario Argento; no matter what you pick from their catalog, they have a total tonal cohesiveness. There’s something that bleeds through every ounce of their film’s cinematography, a signature on every frame. Guillermo Del Toro is one of those directors, possibly the preeminent among them, and Crimson Peak is certainly the film that embodies his cinematic signature best.
The Haunting Setup of Allerdale Hall
Discriminated against by publishers and rejected by socialites for her ambition, Edith Cushing can find no peace. But when a bold and charming inventor named Thomas Sharpe whisks her away, Edith’s troubles grow deeper. She’s taken to the Sharpe ancestral home, Allerdale Hall, a sinking mansion seated over a clay mine. Thomas and his quiet sister Lucille tend to its dusty halls. But as visions of grotesque red spirits begin to terrorize Edith, the manor’s history and who the Sharpes are, becomes clear quickly—and dangerously.
For the longest time I was told that Crimson Peak was a “slow-burn horror film”, but this is where language when describing movies is sometimes lost in translation for me. Crimson Peak isn’t what I would consider slow burn just because it’s quiet and not as frenetic as your typical supernatural horror. It’s briskly paced, there’s a mystery that unfolds at a steady rhythm, and there are quite a few encounters with the horrific ghosts of Allerdale Hall throughout the film (which are some of the best designed in film history, Mr. X Inc delivers when it comes to effects).
A Dark Gothic Romance at the Center
But in between all the phantasms and frights, there is a dark and uncomfortable romance unfolding that takes precedence. The film is far from unpredictable storywise, but it doesn’t really matter because the roughly 100-minute runtime breezes through, keeping you clung to the drama going on between Edith, Thomas, and Lucille. And when the tension between all three of them is relinquished, it feels less like waiting for a noise to sound off and more like the end of a high-strung violin performance.
If you’re a fan of gothic literature at all, this film has homages to it in spades, the most vocally beloved and represented here being Poe’s The Fall of the House of Usher. Del Toro has said as much, describing the film as “a cross between a classic gothic romance, like Jane Eyre […] and The House of Usher” in interviews. There are quite a few direct references to the events of Usher, including the mansion itself literally sinking into the earth, and its story elements like those that are incorporated which show you Del Toro’s love for gothic romance and his love for this film.
Allerdale Hall as a Character of Its Own
More visible signs of careful planning and execution are to be seen…well, in every other facet of the film. I’m about a decade late and a dollar short when it comes to clever analysis of how everything in this film is beyond gorgeous. But I will highlight that it won a Saturn Award for Best Production Design for a reason: Allerdale Hall is a breathing place, not breathing air but pure death. It’s not full of life, but a wispy, smokey unlife. There’s atmosphere pouring off its walls and stones like heavy bromine vapors. It’s up there as one of my favorite settings in all of horror, alongside the Overlook Hotel and Haywood Ranch.
It’s genuinely criminal that this film didn’t win any of the costume design awards it was nominated for, because they can be downright mesmerizing. They’re a key part of the film’s language, making many of the characters more visually striking and memorable. Chastain’s character, Lucille, arrives on the screen hailed by an outfit of deep red fabric that’s as rich and powerful as the classical music she plays on the piano. In this film, the costumes are a dramatic tool in and of themselves instead of just dressing for the performances, and I will always laud the ridiculously talented costume designer Kate Hawley for what she did here.
Standout Performances from a Perfect Cast
But of course, what is a stage without its players? I really can’t picture anyone else besides Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain in this film, since they make the perfect duo; they both have so much gravity on screen it’s difficult to pull your eyes away. The movie belongs to them, given the kind of bombshell line deliveries they achieve. However, that’s not to discredit Mia Wasikowska, who shows off quite a bit of range as she goes through emotional torment after emotional torment.
Crimson Peak is the perfect film if you want to dissect and break down exactly how skilled a filmmaker Guillermo Del Toro is. Early in the film, Edith meets with a publisher, where she describes her novel as less of a ghost story and more of a story with ghosts in it. It’s very clearly a kind of unsubtle way for Del Toro to have an actress look at the camera and deliver his ethos on the film directly to you (there’s no way to make a meta line that verbatim says “the ghost is a metaphor” not sound kind of corny).
The Ghosts Serve the Drama, Not the Other Way Around
And while I would have disagreed with it in the past, Crimson Peak really is a perfect story about people where the ghosts serve the drama. I can honestly say this film could work without its more horrifying elements, that I can imagine a version of this film divorced from the supernatural, is a testament to the pure amount of craft Del Toro put into it. Unlike Allerdale Hall, Crimson Peaks is on solid ground and is some of Del Toro’s best directing yet.
Reviews
‘House of the Dead 2’ Review: Far Better Than The Original
Uwe Boll’s House of the Dead is a trash movie classic. For many, it exists as a ‘so bad it’s good’ movie. For me, House of the Dead is so bad it’s bad. Before looking up movies for March, I had no clue there was a House of the Dead sequel! This is the first time this month that I’ve stretched the category limit, as House of the Dead 2 merely premiered on the Sci-Fi Channel. Remember when movies premiered on the Sci-Fi Channel on Fridays and Saturdays? Those were great times. Seeing commercials all through the week, leading up to the big premiere. Ugh. I miss those days.
Zombies Take Over Cuesta Verde University in House of the Dead 2
House of the Dead 2 takes place a few months after the happenings of the first film. When one of Professor Roy Curien’s (Sid Haig) test subjects escapes containment at Cuesta Verde University, AMS is tasked with securing the campus. Led by Alexandra “Nightingale” Morgan (Emmanuelle Vaugier) and Lieutenant Jake Ellis (Ed Quinn), the team descends on the campus with wanton disregard for student safety. Bullets fly and heads explode as AMS gets closer to finding a blood sample…but the ticking clock starts ticking faster when they’re told a series of missiles will level the college campus shortly. Who will live and who will die in House of the Dead 2?
From writer Mark A. Altman and director Michael Hurst, House of the Dead 2 is a slower, more contained, faster-paced entry into the House of the Dead franchise. While the infected lack the scare factor from those in the original, they succeed at creating a frantic environment and an overall more entertaining film than Boll’s abortion of a motion picture. Thankfully, this sequel’s pacing is improved over the original.
Dialogue and Performances: Campy, Cringe, and Self-Aware
One of my main issues with the original is the overly snappy dialogue. Everything is a joke, a setup for a joke, or cringe “macho” lines. While the majority of Altman’s script carries that over, there’s a more refined element to the dialogue. That could also be attributed to better actors like Vaugier, Quinn, Victoria Pratt, Nadine Velazquez, and Sticky Fingaz. Much of the dialogue here does feel a bit cringe in its entirety, but the cast of 2 leans into it so much more. Part of me feels like Boll took a way too serious path with the original, while Hurst leans into the kookiness and over-the-top energy that makes this film work.
But I’m glossing over the main point of what this film is: a zombie film. The topic of slow vs fast zombies is one of the most annoying topics in horror. Just let them be whatever they are! House of the Dead 2 is full of slow zombies, though some do seem to move at a medium-ish pace. As stated, the infected here lack some of the scare factor from the original, but they make up for it in overall tenacity. Plus, they look gnarly. The team from Almost Human made, I can’t believe I’m saying this, some of the best-looking infected prosthetics I’ve seen in a zombie film. Each zombie feels like they have their own story to tell, and the extras who brought the infected to life play that up very well. Whether it’s a one-off zombie or a whole horde, you can feel the characterization behind them.
The Missed Opportunity: Mosquito Zombie Infections
My biggest issue with this film is something they dropped really quickly. At one point, three AMS members are in a dorm room, looking for infected to kill. One of the members is bitten by a mosquito and becomes infected. On top of the throwaway line about how the infected are evolving, the idea of the infection being transmitted by mosquitoes is a great idea, but one that is quickly dropped. Maybe they had plans to go deeper into this idea with the failed third film, but I was hoping that would have been pushed forward in the story.
A Better (and More Self-Aware) Zombie Sequel
House of the Dead 2 is a fairly typical zombie movie. It’s an ensemble film that introduces way too many characters with the promise of picking them off one by one. But it’s less on the nose than the original and plays into the more darkly humorous side that Uwe Boll couldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. With an attractive cast that knows what they’re in for, a cast that chews up the scenery as much as the undead, House of the Dead 2 brought life into a dead franchise. I’m just glad we didn’t get that reported third film with…Dean Cain (yuck!).
Reviews
‘Bring It On: Cheer or Die’ Review: A Blood Free Slasher That Fumbles the Franchise
Growing up in the mid-90s, I bore witness to some very out-there films. One of the films that defined cinema for many of the women I grew up with was Bring It On. I have never gotten around to seeing the film; being a teen boy in a red town, I was more of a Fired Up! guy. I have long known of a horror installment in the Bring It On series, but had zero interest in ever checking it out. Knowing that Bring It On: Cheer or Die premiered on the SyFy Channel gave me the perfect excuse to finally watch it. Yikes.
What is Bring It On: Cheer or Die About?
Abby (Kerri Medders) is the head cheerleader for The Diablos. Abby and her team are barred from doing any interesting choreography due to an incident from 20 years ago, by Principal Simmons (Missi Pyle). The team decides to go behind Simmons’s back and do a 24-hour rehearsal-thon at the building that their high school used to be in. Once at the abandoned building, someone donning their high school mascot’s costume starts picking off the cheer squad one by one. Will anyone in the cheer squad make it to regionals (Glee joke!), or will this be their last pyramid?
It is at this point in my review, yes, even after watching the movie, that I’m realizing who one of the writers is. Cheer or Die is co-written by Rebekah McKendry and Dana Schwartz, which comes as a complete surprise. I respect the hell out of Dr. McKendry. Her knowledge of the genre, its tropes and cliches, extends beyond what nearly anyone else knows. And I absolutely loved All The Creatures Were Stirring. So the fact that this is a film written by her floors me.
Comparing Cheer or Die to Modern Teen Slashers
While I’m not expecting Hereditary or Don’t Look Now-like storytelling from the seventh film in the Bring It On franchise, I was hoping for a little more than what it ended up as. I’ve discussed time and time again how much I enjoyed Fear Street: Prom Queen. Its general straightforwardness is refreshing in a subgenre that was forced to become too smart for its own good. Cheer or Die is just as straightforward, but nowhere near as good. Prom Queen is a very competent film; it looks great and is entertaining. Cheer or Die is not. It is vapid and pointless, an extreme waste of 91 minutes.
A slasher film should have at least one memorable kill. Right? There is not a single memorable kill, let alone a memorable moment, in Cheer or Die. On top of that, how do you have a blood-free slasher flick? I think there is one singular blood spray that is on camera for less than two seconds. I understand that you have to toe the line between appealing to Bring It On fans and genre fans, but it gets to a point where that line is pointless when you make a nothing film like this.
Karen Lam’s Direction and Technical Missteps
Was this film used as a tax scheme? Karen Lam apparently directed this film, but I didn’t see a single bit of direction the entire time. The cast recited their lines directly from the script with not a single bit of care in the world. I spent the near entirety of the film’s runtime just staring at the screen, wondering how this film got greenlit in the first place. If this were Lam’s feature directorial debut, I would cut it a bit of slack. But this was award-winning Karen Lam’s fourth film. Which is crazy considering the film refuses to adhere to any implication of the 180-degree rule. Wherever they wanted to set the camera, they set it. Few films feel like first-take films, but Bring It On: Cheer or Die feels like a film that utilized every single first take that they got.
Avoid Bring It On: Cheer or Die
My goal isn’t to take a film that someone put love and energy into and shit down its throat. But Cheer or Die barely deserves to be called a film. From its first bloodless death to its painfully obvious motive reveal, Cheer or Die fails at every single aspect. Hell, the killer(s) even say, “Story time,” when they tell the remaining cheer squad their motive. I expected more from the incredibly talented Dr. McKendry. All I can honestly say at this point is to avoid this film with every part of your being.


