Reviews
[REVIEW] ‘Underwater’ (2020) Is Underwhelming
A group of researchers are aboard the Kepler 822 when disaster strikes. Supposedly, an earthquake hits the Kepler, causing extreme depressurization and stranding the surviving researchers near the bottom of the Mariana Trench. Norah Price (Kristen Stewart) finds herself as the decision maker and whisks a few crew members to safety. Unfortunately for all of us, one of the crew members is Paul (T.J. Miller). Norah and Captain Lucien (Vincent Cassel) must find a way to get the rest of their crew to one of the few remaining escape pods, lest they find themselves resting in Davey Jone’s locker for eternity. Soon the tables turn when the Kepler crew realizes a potential earthquake is the very least of their problems.
On this week’s edition of movies I’m glad I waited this long to watch is Underwater. I don’t think I’ve seen a film that tried so hard that it ended up doing nothing. In hindsight, I’m not sure what I was expecting from William Eubank, the guy who directed Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin, and Brian Duffield, the guy who wrote The Babysitter and wrote/directed No One Will Save You. Underwater had all of the fixings to be a Brendan movie. It’s deep sea horror, Lovecraftian creatures, Kristen Stewart, and Vincent Cassel. The final product is an arduous 95-minute more-people-should-have-died-fest. Even Stewart and Cassel couldn’t save this sinking ship. Literally.
A Claustrophobic Deep-Sea Nightmare
A group of researchers are aboard the Kepler 822 when disaster strikes. Supposedly, an earthquake hits the Kepler, causing extreme depressurization and stranding the surviving researchers near the bottom of the Mariana Trench. Norah Price (Kristen Stewart) finds herself as the decision maker and whisks a few crew members to safety. Unfortunately for all of us, one of the crew members is Paul (T.J. Miller). Norah and Captain Lucien (Vincent Cassel) must find a way to get the rest of their crew to one of the few remaining escape pods, lest they find themselves resting in Davey Jone’s locker for eternity. Soon the tables turn when the Kepler crew realizes a potential earthquake is the very least of their problems.
Stellar Performances by Kristen Stewart and Vincent Cassel
Let’s get the three positives out of the way. Firstly, K-stew and Daddy Cassel. I’m young enough to have been in middle school when the Twilight Kristen Stewart craze was heavy. As a “cool” kid, I stupidly cast off Kristen Stewart as a bad actor, who took bad roles. Recent films like Personal Shopper, Crimes of the Future, and Love Lies Bleeding have [rightfully] changed my opinion. Also, as a “cool” and “edgy” film school kid, I became obsessed with Vincent Cassel in Le Haine. Seeing these two actors work with each other was an on-screen match I wanted, but didn’t deserve. Both actors ooze charisma and chew up their scenes in the best way possible.
Secondly, the cinematography. Bojan Bazelli (Sugar Hill, A Cure for Wellness) visually saves this film from Eubank’s milquetoast directing. Bazelli captures the claustrophobic Kepler beautifully. The scenes of the crew underwater are full of dread and suspense.
Thirdly, the creature. It’s Monster May-hem, we have to talk about the creatures! Was the creature released upon the world from the earthquake? Or was it caused by drilling from the Kepler? It doesn’t really matter, all that does matter is she’s here and she’s BIG. How the creature comes to target our surviving crew members works incredibly well, and may be the only good thing to come from Duffield’s script. The mother creature is godly and truly terrifying, while her drones come in endless waves and fill both the crew members and the audience with indescribable dread.
Where Underwater Fails: A Sinking Script and Missteps
Those three things were nowhere near enough to save Underwater. First off, we have to talk about spiders. “But Brendan, we’re underwater!” Exactly! Norah starts the film by watching a spider in a sink drain. How exactly did this spider get to the bottom of the Mariana Trench? Perchance, is there a researcher on the Kepler who is doing spider research? Who knows! Certainly not Duffield. Next up, TJ Miller. As he’s been typecast, Miller plays a misogynistic, try-hard self-obsessed comedian, as he always does. Though, That’s not really considered acting for him. Or how about the fact that the Kepler was built with an option to weaponize its main power source? Seriously what engineer would add that feature into the Kepler?
Underwater was a slog to sit through, and even the Lovecraftian god creature couldn’t make me enjoy it. Hell, even Kristen Stewart and Vincent Cassel couldn’t save it. At the film’s end, I wished I was lying at the bottom of the ocean. I have no clue how Duffield keeps getting these projects off the ground. And can we stop giving TJ Miller roles? Wasn’t he supposed to be canceled?
Film Fests
GenreBlast X: ‘The Barn Part III’ Review
It’s very interesting when critics cover Part # of a franchise without having seen the previous entries. I’ve personally seen critics who flat-out say that Part 2 or 3 doesn’t make sense without having seen the previous film. And therein lies the problem: film critics who refuse to admit they haven’t seen EVERYTHING. But does the hard work rely solely on the film critic (or the general viewer)? Should a sequel (or third in a trilogy) drop in heavy context clues for someone who is just now tuning in? I think the answer falls somewhere between those points. Of the many reasons, that is one of the main reasons I was able to enjoy The Barn Part III so much. Let’s dig into it.
Some time ago, Pastor Josh Harper (Courtney Gains) assumed he had rid the world of evil. He was dead wrong. Well, hopefully just wrong. His nephew Kyle (Tristan Olsen) and friend Megan (Amanda Byrne) accidentally re-unleash the evil; Josh must attempt to vanquish it. Again. There’s just one big problem…the Fall Festival is going on, and damn near the entire town will be in attendance. What can go wrong?
Can You Review PT. 3 Without Seeing PTS. 1&2?
Before we really get into it, I think we should jump back to the point I was making in the intro. I have seen tons of posts, screenshots, and scenes from The Barn franchise over the years. For some reason, I’ve never gotten around to seeing the films. So there was a sort of internal struggle when deciding whether or not to cover The Barn Part III. Would I watch it just for fun? What if I didn’t like it? Sure, I could review the film on its own merits, disregarding moments that don’t make sense to a first-time viewer. But that felt disingenuous. After writing a weighty pros and cons list, I figured, what the hell. Let’s give it a watch! It turns out that was the right decision.
Co-writers Justin M. Seamen and Zane Hershberger do an excellent job of balancing fan service and, surprisingly, first-time viewers. There are definitely moments where I felt a bit lost, though I was able to put the pieces together based on context clues after sitting with the film for a few hours. By the time the credits rolled, I felt like I saw enough (as a first time viewing of the franchise) to understand how we got to this point in the franchise. Moreover, it made me more motivated than ever to go back and watch the first two films. If The Barn Part III is this gory, then I can only assume there’s a similar level of gore to the first two.
Strong Script, Stronger Kills
Hershberger and Seamen tell a tale that’s not overwhelmingly original; evil is raised and must be stopped by the good people. It’s a race against the clock, fast-paced creature feature/slasher. It’s hard to really reinvent the wheel there. And somehow, Herhshberger and Seamen manage to make you feel like you haven’t really seen anything like it before. Even during moments of slightly cheesy dialogue, the script’s tone stays beyond consistent that it just all feels right. To me, that feels very rare in this subgenre of film. Rather than being nothing but conduits for buckets of blood, the characters in The Barn Part III exist within their story purpose while still feeling fully fleshed out.
Much of The Barn Part III’s enjoyment comes from the delightful performances of the film’s lead cast. Courtney Gains takes the reins from Will Stout as Josh Harper, and Gains is wonderfully charming. Much of his screen time is shared with Night of the Comet’s Kelli Maroney, who is still an absolute blast to watch on the screen. But it’s one of The Barn Part III’s co-leads, Amanda Byrne, who steals the show. It’s hard to believe this film is Byrne’s debut feature acting role. She really gives it her all, and you can feel it through the screen.
The Barn Part III Is a Practical Effect Gorefest
Enough edging. Let’s get into the actual meat and potatoes of The Barn Part III: the kills. Simply put, Justin M. Seamen and Zane Hershberger struck gold. I’ve seen way too many slasher films/creature features, so this isn’t hyperbolic…The Barn Part III has some of the most insane, captivating, and bloody kills I’ve seen. Especially for an indie film. Whatever the budget was, the film looks like it was more expensive than that.
I have a feeling that there is a heavy crossover between fans of this franchise and Joe Bob Briggs, so let me put it to you this way. The Barn Part III has it all: bisections, dissections, full-body degloving, mini killer pumpkins, pitchfork-fu, shotgun-fu, vine-fu…and that’s just scratching the surface. Besides transporting me to a time and place that I hold dear to my heart, the late 90s and early aughts, this film just checked every single box for me. I can only hope the first two do the same.
The Barn Part III is a violent, practical effects-filled rollercoaster that doesn’t let off the brakes from the jump. To me, this feels like the proper send-off to a franchise I’m new to, and it’s giving me severe FOMO. Full of insane kills and a charming main cast, The Barn Part III is neck and neck for best of the fest for me. Do yourself a favor, gas up your tractor and get to The Barn as soon as possible.
Reviews
‘Onslaught’ Review: Wingard Returns with Schlocky Goodness
Among the straight up schlock horror movies of 2026, Onslaught tactical breaches in and holds the perimeter as the top dog. Despite being hailed by fans and cast alike as a spiritual successor to Wingard’s 2014 cult classic The Guest, the similarities are skin deep. This low-budget action horror film feels much sleazier, goofier, and more melodramatic than anything that feature had to offer. But if you like to drink the B-movie bottom shelf liquors of the cinema world, Onslaught has that taste you’re going to love getting genre drunk on.
What Is Onslaught (2026) About?
Out in the New Mexico desert, an abandoned military base now houses even darker secrets. Inside a government contractor black site, the sinister Nazi mad scientist Dr. Hans Kammler (Dan Stevens) works to perfect a trio of heartless, mindless, and soulless soldiers. They feel no pain and take no prisoners, and that’s how Kammler likes them.
When the project inevitably breaches containment, as all mad science experiments are wont to do, a small trailer park called the Windy Oasis ends up on their southbound warpath. The on-site manager for the park, a traumatized veteran named Celeste (Adria Arjona), is soon forced to defend her young daughter and surviving neighbors from the ruthless revenants.
If You’re Expecting Something Serious, Expect Less
Dan Stevens’ returning collaboration with Wingard and writer Simon Barrett is basically the full extent of what this movie shares with The Guest. Outside of the deranged super-soldier premise, of course. His first appearance on screen immediately proves that; Stevens comes in hot wearing some of the messiest fake old man hair and makeup of all time, before crawling on all fours like a dog to indulge in his heel fetish with his domineering wife (played in a small supporting role by Rebecca Hall).
It’s a flashing neon sign from the outset that the film is taking itself only somewhat seriously. And if you approach it with the utmost seriousness, you’re probably going to have a bad time.
Onslaught’s Nihilistic & Stylistic Composition Doesn’t Have Time for Contemplation
Despite its premise being about literally conscienceless jackbooted thugs killing the civilian population of the country they’re supposed to be defending, not much thematically comes of it. Onslaught is oddly flat, bordering on one dimensional, in trying to make any sort of thoughtful dialogue or commentary about our current or even past state of affairs as a nation.
The film is frontloaded with as much as you’re going to get out of it: an opening credit sequence that is the anti-government, anti-military equivalent of those overstimulating “Little Dark Age” edits that loser right-wing groypers love. It speedruns the American government’s brutality throughout the past 75 years and juxtaposes it with the Third Reich over the course of a roughly 3-minute song. Sadly, we need the rest of the runtime for gratuitous action involving bullets, boobs, and chainsaw blades. It just can’t be helped.
The movie doesn’t particularly have time for good dialogue, strong character development, or flashy sets either. Onslaught is simple and honest in its approach; it’s the kind of nasty, mean-spirited, action grime that even Cannon Films would have seen as a bit much to produce back in the day. It takes place in a handful of locations, with as few extras as possible, and a lot of explosive squibs and gory kills to make up for its flawed performances. It’s got time to bleed, sure, but no time to bleed deeper meaning or substance.
Wingard’s Toy Box Is Chock Full of Carpenter Inspiration and Retro Vibes
One must imagine Wingard happy playing in this realm. The film is certainly a success on his part in terms of bringing those retro vibes and simplistic storytelling beats to the present day. It really does feel like a bloody, small budget video store pick that snuck its way onto the shelf of a Blockbuster sometime in the ‘90s, even if its modern photography betrays that big clamshell case energy.
Surgically implanted into the film are visuals and musical stylings whose bloodlines trace plainly to Carpenter’s filmography; Assault on Precinct 13, Vampires, and The Fog are the loudest, though certainly not the only parties present. How well those strains of genuine brilliance mesh with the cheaper sensibilities of the film is certainly in question. At its best, it has shots and scenes genuinely evocative of the greatest films of the era Wingard and Barrett are conjuring. At its worst, it’s basically screaming “we shot too much footage of these soldiers mogging and aura farming to not put it in the film”, leaving things clunky to transition and sometimes looking silly.


