Reviews
[REVIEW] ‘Satanic Hispanics’: Fun at Points, But Forgets to Bring The Panic
Satanic Hispanics is an anthology film: four horror stories told by a man trapped in police custody. His crime? Being caught in the middle of a suspected cartel massacre. As the police go through his belongings, every souvenir he has from his supernatural journeys weaves a tale of death and fates even worse. All the while, a timer is ticking down: he has 90 minutes to convince them to free him before an unstoppable monster kills everyone in its path to get to him.

Satanic Hispanics. Seeing the title of this film rolling into the Shudder suggestions in the coming months will probably have every kid who grew up Latino associating memories with the words themselves.
Most of us will remember the sensationalized and dramatized stories of evil and otherworldly forces from our childhoods constantly hocked on Univision; Primer Impacto regularly reporting on witch sightings, ghosts manifesting, and conspiracy theories of the occult was a staple in a lot of our homes. Maybe you’ll recall the mentions of witchcraft rumored about in hushed tones by las viejas chisomas in your apartment building (because your neighbor in 5F is for sure doing chicken sacrifices for power and isn’t just like, I don’t know, a hoarder with a weird work schedule).
For most of the Latino world, Satanic Panic is REAL real. So, there’s very clearly a wellspring of stories you can draw on for a horror anthology like this one, both in folklore and in more modern fears and anxieties. And while this Dread Central feature film does tap into Latin American mythology and esoteric religions well enough, it didn’t land the gut punch I was hoping for in terms of its evocative title or fun premise.
But what is that premise? Satanic Hispanics is an anthology film: four horror stories told by a man trapped in police custody. His crime? Being caught in the middle of a suspected cartel massacre. As the police go through his belongings, every souvenir he has from his supernatural journeys weaves a tale of death and fates even worse. All the while, a timer is ticking down: he has 90 minutes to convince them to free him before an unstoppable monster kills everyone in its path to get to him.
Right off the bat, I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch Satanic Hispanics; if I’m covering it, chances are it’s at least somewhat worth watching, especially since it’s an anthology, and your mileage may vary depending on which segments you vibe with. I was excited by the concept, and knowing that the film’s framing device was leading to a climactic showdown helped keep me interested. But I was ultimately kind of disappointed, and while I hope the film gets a sequel, it’s mainly so they can address this one’s issues.
Those issues, mind you, are structural and hard to ignore: it’s frontloaded by what are, in my opinion, the film’s two weakest segments, which hurts the momentum of the movie when you’ve got a nearly 2-hour runtime to push through and focusing in during the first 50 minutes had me struggling to keep watching. The framing device can be awkward at points, with segues that feel forced. The dialogue there feels clunky, and is only saved by Efren Ramirez, who plays the titular Traveler. He nails the role of “mysterious man who speaks in riddles and weird lore”, and his performance is too fun for me not to like even when his exposition is ham-fisted. He has a dark tone and wiseacre delivery, which combined with his odd lines just works.
In terms of performances, the only real standouts here are Ramirez, and Gabriela Ruiz as the very cool and very creepy Madre Tierra in “Nahuales”. Hemky Madera also has a very charming performance as a bumbling vampire caught out late on Halloween, and though “El Vampiro” was my least favorite of the segments, it’s no fault of his; I enjoyed him as a sort of slapstick, Dominican Bela Lugosi and hope he gets to play more roles like that in the future.
Outside of the framing device which has to take time to heat up to a fun action horror ending (with some really bad spanish butt rock and some really great creature makeup to back it up), the segments generally improve as the film progresses, but have issues in and of themselves. Demian Rugna’s segment “Tambien Lo Vi” which leads the pack really didn’t have the big touchdown moment with its ending that I wanted it to. Nonetheless, I think aesthetically it utilizes the location expertly in spite of its rushed nature, and with a larger share of the runtime would be on par with every other amazing piece of filmmaking Rugna has made.
The segment “The Hammer of Zanzibar” has an undoubted talent behind the camera in Alejandro Brugués who makes a stylish short reminiscent of Army of Darkness and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but its subject matter has an immature strain of humor that is violently hit or miss; beyond that, some interpretations of the segment can read as pretty offensive to the real life beliefs of diasporic Africans religions. That is a whole other can of worms I don’t have space to get into, but felt like I should mention as a light content warning.
The best of these unsurprisingly comes from Gigi Saul Guerrero, who directs the segment “Nahuales”. If you watch this film for anything, let it be this. “Nahuales” is the chapter that most delivers on the film’s leery title, with a story centered on witchcraft, and tapping into the fear of things beyond our understanding. This time around the subject is the mythical nahuales; Mesoamerican shapeshifting monsters who stalk the land bringing bloody vengeance down on the heads of their enemies. However, it has a twist, since under all their literal grime and the human sacrifice they do, it is also a pretty culturally relevant commentary: on political corruption in Mexico, on American hegemony in the global south, and the exploitation and erasure of South American indigenous populations (as much it can comment in the time its given).
Had all the shorts in this collection been this stylish, this well-directed and acted, and this thematically weighty, Satanic Hispanics would have been an all-time great horror film. But the radical shift in tone between segments, while welcome in some regards, ends up hurting the film’s consistency and compounds its other issues. It holds the movie back because I can only appreciate certain segments, and it doesn’t come together as a whole feature. And personally, I don’t like having to skip through almost half of a film to get to the good parts.
It’s not a unique pitfall, since some of the V/H/S films and both ABC’s of Death movies suffer from it, with ABC’s being unwatchable for me because of this. But it is notable for anybody who plans on entering the world of Satanic Hispanics and its stories that you might not be able to get into it on the first go around. And if you do revisit this one, you’ll almost invariably end up wanting to skim through the grimoire of twisted tales rather than reading it through completely.
Satanic Hispanics will be streaming on Shudder starting March 8th!
Reviews
‘Body Melt’ Review: An Irreverent Approach to Body Horror

In this world, few things are more mildly perturbing than leaving a film unsure of what exactly it was trying to say. At least for me. Death of the author withstanding, I like to have some grasp over what the filmmakers are trying to tell me. What is the writer saying? How is the director conveying it? What was the gaffer doing lighting the scene like that? Was it intentional, or was it just difficult angling a light there? Body Melt is one of those films.
WHAT IS BODY MELT (1993)?
Body Melt is a 1993 Australian special effects cult classic that delivers a lot of gooey and gorey deaths, but initially left me feeling ambivalent about its message. Given its efforts to nauseate are the main thing on display, there isn’t much deep conversation to be had by its characters. They’re mainly pastiches of people you would see around the neighborhood (the power walker, the doofy bachelors, the crochety old man, the young married couple, etc. etc.), and they’re treated just like that; cardboard cutout people to be cut apart.
While a horror film about a cul-de-sac being disfigured and sludged to death might seem like regular slasher fair, the villain this time around isn’t an alien with acid blood or an incredible melting man: it’s a pharmaceutical company called Vimuville, making guinea pigs out of the neighborhood and rapidly mutating them to death in the name of researching a new super drug.
Sending out free health supplements to the denizens of Pebble Court, the film is a series of loosely connected set pieces, with the throughline being Vimuville’s “vitamins” and the people who drink them to disastrous consequence (sort of like an evil wheatgrass shot, or Herbalife shakes if they made your spleen explode out of your chest).
INCREDIBLE EFFECTS ABOUND, COURTESY OF BOB CARRON
What results is a cartoonish splatter film, amplified in its grotesqueries by the effects of Bob Carron, an Australian special effects legend. If you need to know his street cred, fans of more obscure animal horror will know his biggest and boar-iest creation, the titular pig monster from Razorback.
More likely you know him for helping to make the human battery scene from The Matrix, where a tube-fed catatonic Neo is awakened in a pod of viscous red goo. He’s also the man who helped do prosthetic application on the set of an early Peter Jackson classic Braindead, which was made only a year before Body Melt. Given how notoriously explosive the blood sprays and zombie deaths were in Braindead, there’s some definite creative crossover between the two.
His work here on Body Melt, like on Braindead, probably wouldn’t play well in most movies. It is excessive and absurd, with meaty melting tentacles and body fluid spraying demises. Imagine the defibrillator scene from The Thing, but repeatedly over roughly 80 minutes. People get inverted, imploded, and expanded, and then it happens again. And again. And again. And if it seems like I just keep talking about how insane the effects are, that’s because that’s really its main move; Body Melt is a circus of completely bad taste endings for each of its stars.
It’s Itchy and Scratchy’s idea of a public safety advertisement about checking with your doctor before taking a new medication. Ultimately, the story is sparse; you’re here to see Carron flex his skills with liquid latex and mixtures of lubricant and corn syrup. Which is quite fine, the movie is worth watching just for that. However, those looking for more than a highlight reel of splatter movie kills will be disappointed, and rightfully so.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN? (WHEN YOU BLOW UP YOUR SPLEEN?)
Which leads to the primary question that had me wrestling with how I would talk about the film: can a film be too irreverent to send a message? What is the goal here? I plumbed Australian pharmaceutical history to try and see if there was some sort of contemporary counterpart to events in the film, any inspiration that tracked.
The closest I could find was Australia’s slow and lacking response to the thalidomide scandals of the 1950s and 60s, but the ties were tenuous at best. The film’s goal of being a pitch-black horror comedy, mainly meant to skewer the fitness crazes of the 80s and 90s, are subsumed by its technical achievements in making the audience sickly with slime, and leave you mostly numb to the horrific things that happen in it.
I think on a rewatch, the film’s philosophy was made clear by that numbness. As the vitamins take their last victim during a shootout– I won’t spoil how it happens, but I will spoil the reaction its witnesses have: being rapidly underwhelmed. It was at that moment that I realized what I feel is the real approach of the film. Body Melt does not try to convey a message about bioethics, but rather an approach to violations of bioethics. An approach, albeit a passive one to living with corrupt companies and the exploitation of people for profits.
AN ODDLY EXPERT SATIRE OF OUR APPROACH TO FEAR
Body Melt is a satire that plays in excess to make a point about how people become inured to the horrors they’re exposed to. In a surprisingly smart way, Body Melt becomes an absurdist shrug towards being turned into a lab rat, a rising and ever-related fear as companies push to gain ever increasing powers to skirt consequences for violating laws and human rights. When companies hide behind dozens of proxies of legal protection and walls of money to surround themselves, how do you keep from going insane as they mistreat swathes of the population and force you to watch? You sort of just learn to live with it.
And as bleak of an idea as it is, Body Melt’s ultimate dark humor stems from this. The joke is ultimately on the viewer; it mocks our own ability to turn a blind eye to them, turning the experiment gone wrong into an uncomfortable laugh through its extreme execution.
“How silly. That wouldn’t happen to us! Someone would stop them!”
“…Right?”
Body Melt is streaming on Shudder.
Reviews
‘Tesis’ Review: A 90s Hidden Gem

The film forums, threads, and pages I follow have recently been abuzz with talk about a film called Tesis. Usually, when older films are hyped out of nowhere, it means a new physical release is coming, or a new cut of the film has been assembled. To my surprise, Tesis returned to the conversation when Shudder released it just a few weeks ago. It should be noted that discussions around Tesis probably started when Umbrella Home Entertainment released a gorgeous collection around October of 2024. Still, I hadn’t seen much talk about it until its Shudder release. Does the movie hold up to the hype? The title of this piece might just give it away…
Tesis follows Ángela Márquez (Ana Torrent), a student working on her thesis project on audiovisual violence. Professor Figueroa (Miguel Picazo) and fellow student Chema (Fele Martínez) assist Ángela with finding gnarly films to further her studies. Ángela finds her professor dead in one of their university’s screening rooms. She takes the tape he was watching when he died and watches it with Chema. They soon realize the subject of the tape is none other than Vanessa (Olga Margallo), a student who went missing from campus roughly two years ago. After subsequent viewings, Ángela and Chema realize the tape they’re watching isn’t a film…it’s a snuff tape.
Comparing Tesis to A Serbian Film
Personally, I would never recommend A Serbian Film to anyone. And it’s not because the subject matter is “too offensive” but because it’s not a good film. Even though it deserves to be on disturbing movie lists, there’s little substance to it other than the political commentary that lightly shades the film in a positive light. Tesis is a film I would recommend to someone looking for a Serbian Film-like film. It may not have the same amount of gratuitous blood, violence, and sex that Serbian does, but it does not fail at being disturbing, raw, and well-made.
Besides Joel Schumacher’s 8MM, there is very little modern media set around snuff in general. Alejandro Amenábar’s feature directorial debut broke the mold of good taste with this 1996 instant classic. Amenábar’s freshman film tackles not just the idea of snuff within the genre, but the human condition and how violence in media affects everyone differently. Ángela is fascinated from an educational standpoint, while Chema is more enthralled in a way that feels a bit too personal. Each character approaches the idea of snuff/ultraviolence in their own unique way that feels more personal than anything Schumacher attempted to do in 8MM.
Ana Torrent’s Pivotal Performance
Much of Tesis is more akin to a murder mystery, with Ángela thrust into the middle of this murderous game of cat and mouse. For a debut script, Amenábar finds impressive ways to keep the twists and turns coming without anything feeling forced or over the top. Each piece of information the viewer gets makes them feel like they know how it will end, until they get the next piece of information. The script feels like it could have only come from a seasoned professional. It’s almost as twisty as David Fincher’s The Game, only with a much better payoff.