In stark contrast to its often-stagnant peers within the increasingly populated pool of content available these days, lies Psycho Goreman, a Canadian sci-fi/horror written and directed by Steven Kostanski and released on Shudder. Kostanski is also responsible for 2016s Lovecraftian-mythos-adjacent, The Void, so if you are on the fence about watching this, you should be swayed by that fact alone. It features children Mimi (Nita-Josee Hanna) and her forgettable brother Luke (Owen Myre) in their adventures with a timeless and gruesome space monster, often referred to in the outer worlds as “The Archduke of Nightmares”.
We learn that Mimi is controlling, and often downright mean, to her brother Luke, who begrudgingly and timidly goes along with her increasingly cruel demands. She demands that her brother dig her a hole upon losing a game and whilst digging, Luke uncovers a glowing rock upon a large prison-like tomb. The tomb is opened and out comes Psycho Goreman, or PG for short. PG tells the story of a different alien faction called The Templars, who enslaved his home planet of Gigax. During this period of enslavement, PG finds a glowing rock that gives him great power. He raises an army called The Paladins of Obsidian and the two factions wage war on each other throughout the galaxy until The Templars eventually capture PG and bury him on Earth, right below the yard of Mimi and Luke.
Now, I suppose this is a good time to say that, embarrassingly, I thought this was going to be a kids’ movie. I learned relatively quickly that that was not the case. Early on, Luke knocks over a frozen bum that PG hexed, and his cranium splits open like an egg into a frying pan. They transform their friend Alasdair into a disgrace and abomination of biology. They really mess him up; he goes from a perfectly normal, human child to a spherical, lumbering pile of flesh like it’s absolutely nothing. By this point, we have already seen several of PG’s other victims literally plead for death due to the pain of existence. To think all of those same pain-induced emotions would likely be present in whatever’s left of poor little Alasdair’s brain confirms that this indeed is not a children’s movie, despite the hilariously misleading “PG” nods in some of the cover artwork.
This film does a whole lot correctly in my book, such as the costumes. PG’s costume reminded me quite a bit of 1952s Creature from the Black Lagoon. The Alasdair character’s lumbering pile of flesh was definitely a neat thing to look at, especially while his seemingly distant parents try to ignore the sight of him around the dinner table. All of the templars and paladins were reminiscent of a space-horror style Power Rangers in terms of their attire, which was super cool, considering how dear to me Power Rangers was. The practical effects are on point, with lots of squirting blood coming from all over the place.
Above all else, I thought the music was the most complementary element of the movie. The music was done by Blitz//Berlin, the same group of composers that did the score for The Void, and I must say they really featured a wide variety of sonic textures for PG. The film opens with a dodgeball-type game, where Mimi and Luke face off against each other with slow-motion diving throws and saves, while the squealing of electric guitars picking super-fast tempo 80s arena rock solos blares in the background. It is absolutely badass. Their sound didn’t stop there; they also featured more traditional sounding orchestral strings and horns during suspenseful parts or dialogue-heavy sections. They even threw in some really classic sounding, 80s-era B-list horror movie synthesized sounds that were present in some of the Italian horrors of that era. Overall, Blitz//Berlin absolutely knocked the music out of the ballpark, something I’m getting happily accustomed to hearing, especially when paired with the writing and directing of Steven Kostanski.
All in all, PG is a truly fun, exciting, and engaging diamond-in-the-rough of sorts. It was a good time overall and Shudder pulls out all the stops on this one. It contains a ton of fun sights and sounds, and it’s a must-watch if you’re a Shudder subscriber. It’s like the old adage goes: “When in doubt, go watch Psycho Goreman on Shudder because it’s a Canadian horror and everyone that worked on it did a super good job resulting in a great movie.
You can catch ‘Psycho Goreman’ on Shudder.
When You Need a Scary Movie That’s Actually Scary: ‘Terrified’
Horror fans are constantly searching for a horror movie that will scare them. Predictability is one of the major culprits of the dilution of horror in horror films. Many of us feel it has already been done and then gets redone ad infinitum. There tends to be a format that scary movies follow, making it so that even new films don’t feel new. And those that try to differ from this pit of repetition tend to find themselves so far on the fringes that the work doesn’t translate well to general audiences.
The film Terrified on Shudder is widely regarded as one of the best that the horror platform offers, and with good reason. With its continuous sequences of pure nightmare fuel, there is no telling what will happen from one minute to the next. As the mystery unfolds, the terror only rises until reaching a crescendo of full-on calamity. Through the perspectives of numerous characters, Terrified tells a chilling story that doesn’t let up, even after it’s over. If you want a scary movie to watch, Terrified is objectively it.
A Unique Story Structure Created a Great Horror Film
The way the movie opens immediately lets viewers know something otherworldly is happening. The story follows the paranormal experiences of different people in a small place in Buenos Aires and the ensuing investigation into these experiences.
The way Terrified tells its tale is one thing that makes it stand out among other horror movies. The story unravels in a way that makes it feels like everyone is the main character, thus making all their experiences feel much more personal and horrific. It’s difficult to know whom we’re supposed to be paying the closest attention to, so we pay more attention to everyone, magnifying the horror. Additionally, numerous storylines take place all at once, causing a total onslaught of tragedy and horror sequences in a way that makes complete sense. The storyline also stood out for the fluid timeline as frequent time jumps occur.
Time Flies When You’re Terrified
Just as a character remarks in the film, time moves differently here. The constant action-packed sequence of events that unfolds creates a sense of time distortion where minutes fly by. This is because viewers’ brains are working overtime to process everything they’ve just seen – the ramifications of what they’ve witnessed while simultaneously being thrust into a new scenario, a new horror, another tragedy. The way everything is presented, one gruesome moment after another, it’s like your brain doesn’t even have time to fully process the last haunting images you saw before you’re grappling with another three. The haunting imagery in this film is unrelenting.
What Makes This Scary Movie Worth the Watch
What’s a scary motion picture without some haunting imagery? When it comes to Terrified, take your pick. A monster under the bed, footprints that travel up walls, and head-turning corpses are only some of this film’s spooky visuals.
The movie uses some gore but does not lean on it to be scary. Likewise, the film doesn’t rely on jump scares, but they are sweat-inducingly effective when they inevitably do happen.‘
Yet, all of this is not where the true terror of Terrified lies.
Maybe it’s because your brain doesn’t have time to process every event before another happens. Perhaps it’s the strange event sequencing, how time jumps back and forth. Maybe it’s the way that everyone is the main character, so the thought of anyone being safe from the events about to unfold feels dismal. Perhaps it’s the onslaught of horrific imagery. Whatever the case, Terrified excels as a horror movie because it sticks with you after it’s over.
Given the depiction of back-to-back tragedies, the film is immediately rewatchable because it all happens quickly. The way this film can balance so much going on at once without ever feeling sloppy, cluttered, or difficult to follow is an impressive feat. Doubly impressive are the nightmarish images that leave a lasting impact. However, it cannot go without saying that these same images may have been washed out in a lesser horror film had it followed the typical storyline format. Director Demián Rugna’s unique approach to storytelling created an action-packed unpredictable tale that makes this movie so recommendable. If you haven’t seen this film before, it’s time. If you have seen it, you’re probably due for a rewatch.
Stream Terrified on Shudder today!
‘M3GAN’ Review: M0th3r Has Arrived
Load up those gifs and ready your fingertips because a new horror icon has landed.
She’s M3gan, but after a viral marketing campaign that had everyone, including your favorite aunt, calling her “Mother,” you already knew that. Directed by Gerard Johnstone (Housebound), with a story by Malignant duo James Wan and Akela Cooper (who also penned the script), this meme has quite the pedigree. The hype train is real, and while M3GAN does an excellent job at sprinkling in iconic moments and one-liners while maintaining a relatable thematic throughline, it does so at the expense of a compelling plot. Its charm, however, is that despite containing story beats you can clock by watching the trailer, M3GAN is simply too much fun to care.
The film follows newly orphaned Cady (Violet McGraw, a young Daveigh Chase doppelgänger) as she goes to live with her quintessentially millennial aunt Gemma (Allison Williams), a brilliant roboticist working at a toy company. Parenting does not come naturally to the detached and overworked Gemma. So, in the only way she knows, Gemma pawns off the responsibility of helping Cady cope with the death of her parents – as well as conveniently enacting live-in nanny status – to her passion project, the true to size and pussy bow-clad AI companion M3gan. Her plan works until it doesn’t, and everything goes gloriously haywire. If you think you’ve seen it before, you almost certainly have, but this familiar story is in drag.
Those memes were not a fluke, and she’s here to make it clear: M3gan cuts deep. She knows just what to say to make you second guess everything you’ve ever done, and her one-two punch carries enough whiplash to leave you in a coma or worse. She’s a dancer, a singer, a quadrupedal runner, a killer, and a friend. The film’s fusion of practical effects and CGI brings M3gan to life just short of Avatar photorealism, and voice actor Jenna Davis – no stranger to going viral – has mastered the art of feigned innocence. Gemma, M3gan’s creator and rival, does her best at holding her ground against the doll as they vie for Cady’s affection. Williams has snagged another significant horror role, playing the worst millennial you’ll ever meet (Marnie from Girlsincluded) as the Cindy Lauper of Dr. Frankensteins – she just wants kids to have fun. And while M3GAN is relatively low on actual horror stakes, one scene during the film’s climax sees the pair facing off at the dining table in a moment fraught with genuine tension.
Given that M3GAN’s actual Dr. Frankensteins are behind Malignant and Housebound, it’s no surprise that dark comedy is its greatest asset. It is deadly unserious most of the time. When your grin might begin to lose grip, M3gan sings an acapella lullaby of David Guetta and Sia’s “Titanium” or casually flings her latest victim’s ear over her shoulder. The laughs are a mixture of camp, subtle, and satirical. Lazy parenting, suburban living, and the carelessness of technological advancement are all up for grabs, and no collectible toy is safe from Allison Williams’ scissors.
It is to Akela Cooper’s credit that M3GAN can bob and weave through such a riotous tale of a killer doll while not losing focus on its ideas about our unhealthy digital reliance and even poignantly touching upon childhood grief. As if the projectionist accidentally spliced in some Saturday morning cartoons, M3GAN opens with a commercial for the fictional “Purrpetual Petz,” a traditionally annoying toy not unlike Furbys of the 1990s. This idea of a forever companion, whether in the form of an exotic creature, a 4’4” sassy android, or even an iPad, informs our prevalent lack of connection to other humans. Whether used as a means to avoid reality or as parenting by proxy, M3gan is that digital crutch personified. Before you know it, she’s an inseparable “part of the family.” What happens when we lose that connection to our versions of M3gan? If Cady’s actions are anything to go by, we become indignant Veruca Salts of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory fame. Cooper isn’t exaggerating, that’s for sure.
However, this wild ride has pitfalls. If you were to de-drag M3GAN, the film’s bones are that of your stereotypical January throw-away horror flick. There’s no guessing how it will play out – although one of its final scenes does include a nice nod to Aliens – and while I enjoyed myself, I did not leave the theater absolutely gagging as expected. When the action hits its stride, and a lovely needle drop begins the third act, M3GAN does not go as hard as I hoped. I hate to add fire to the flames, but while there are fantastic PG-13 horror films, one as biting as M3GAN deserves a hard R rating. In fact, in a recent LA Times interview, Cooper let the cat out of the bag and said the film had been edited down to PG-13 after its marketing went viral and the suits wanted to cash in on the TikTok crowd. It’s a shame because as M3gan devolves into a sadistic killer, that cold AI side of her gets very dark and twisty.
M3gan’s dark side definitely ponders her existential Westworld fantasy throughout the film’s runtime. While Child’s Play is the obvious comparison point, I could not help but find some Jurassic Park philosophizing in there as well. The unintended consequences of our creations through state-of-the-art technology feel like a not-so-distant reality. We may not see dinosaurs in our lifetime, but Teslas are combusting on the streets as you read this, and we have created innate digital addiction as a disease of the human race. On a macro level, we could bring about the End Times as we are all dramatically slayed by agile android dolls. To quote Dr. Ian Malcolm: “Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.”
Ultimately, M3GAN succeeds in so many ways that it deserves its time in the sun. It may not be the taut techno-thriller of your dreams, but it’s a great way to ring in horror for 2023. Most will know if the film’s humor is for them after one glance at its trailer and marketing, and if you’re on the fence, just dive in. At best, you’ll cackle along with the crowd, and at worst, you’ll probably install one of those screen time management apps on your phone. There is, of course, a wink toward a potential sequel by its conclusion and one unresolved plot thread that would allow a revisit to expand upon the film’s themes in a big way. Plus, there’s the inevitable M3gan/Chucky/Esther/Annabelle pint-sized villain throwdown event the powers-that-be would be fools to ignore.
Spoiler Alert: M3gan would end them.
Make sure you watch the trailer for M3gan below.