Reviews
‘Thanksgiving’ (2023) Review: Eli Roth’s Gory Slasher Triumph
But when Roth has the sauce, he has it, and this movie is drowning in pure gravy. If you were waiting for a top-tier slasher packed with pitch-black humor and crimson blood everywhere, you’ll be pretty happy. If you were waiting for another one of those rare, legitimately great holiday horror films, you’ll be ecstatic. But regardless of what you’re waiting for, you should absolutely head to theatres to see Thanksgiving.
In a year with one of the grimiest Saw films yet, a blood-flooding entry in the Evil Dead franchise, and the notoriously nasty sleeper hit When Evil Lurks, you would think horror fans were full on all the brutal, mean-spirited kills they could get. But Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving is some of the best seconds, thirds, and even fourths we could have gotten in a landmark year for horror like 2023. It may have taken 16 years and some change to see a fictional trailer realized into a feature-length film, but the long cook time was worth it for the absolutely rich modern-day grindhouse feature that we got.
An Old Trailer Brought to Life
If you’re confused about what that last sentence meant, in 2007, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino made Grindhouse, a double feature of two throwback movies that evoked the old exploitation fare: Planet Terror and Death Proof. In the film were several fake trailers for exploitation movies that were never meant to be made, including one for a film called Thanksgiving, about a pilgrim-masked killer slashing through the town of Plymouth, Massachusetts, and leaving no leftovers (which is all the plot summary you need to understand this review). A few of these trailers were so well received they became real films, like Machete and personal favorite Hobo With A Shotgun, and Thanksgiving was set to become one of them too.
Despite the “Splat Pack” alum beginning a script in 2010, Thanksgiving was sidetracked by Roth’s other projects. And while it’s easy to say now that it should have come out sooner, I’m glad it came out when it did. Thanksgiving is rivaled only by Terrifier 2 as a snapshot of the great modern-day grindhouse revival that’s starting to warm up in American cinema as we get deeper into the 2020s. An original slasher with a simple plot and people being chopped to bloody bits is like a slice of warm pecan pie to horror fans; it’s comforting, it’s gooey, and it can get messy.
Eli Roth Brings Us a New Horror Classic
Roth nails the exploitation feel promised by the trailer, though, as anyone who has seen the promotional material will know, has abandoned the 70’s sepia aesthetic in favor of crisp digital cameras. Thanksgiving’s more familiar tones come from the original My Bloody Valentine most prominently, with colder undertones of 90’s slashers popularized by Kevin Williamson’s work on Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer, and it works well in calling back to them.
Roth paints that classic picture of a quaint small town with residents who are rotten to the core. There are sappy love triangles, greedy business people, obnoxious homecoming heroes, and deadbeat super seniors, all waiting to be run through by a vengeful killer like a turkey getting stuck with a meat thermometer. The citizens of Plymouth this time around are about as obnoxious as most of Roth’s characters; their idiocy is played up for humor that is not quite whip-smart, but still manages to be witty often enough to catch you off guard with plenty of great jokes.
Despite having character actor heavyweights like Gina Gershon and Rick Hoffman present, the onus of the entertainment provided comes from the younger cast. Nell Verlaque’s Jessica is a solid final girl surrounded by some very funny friends; Tomaso Sanelli was born to play the role of comedically evil jock Evan, a quarterback obsessed with going viral & prone to dragging his friends into trouble. And despite the love triangle having Verlaque’s Jessica at the center of it, the best moments involving that B-plot come from Milo Manheim’s Ryan and Jalen Thomas Brook’s Bobby, whose interactions where they constantly go tit-for-tat and bicker for romantic attention are incredibly funny. It really does seem like everyone had fun with the material they were given because the film gets laughs effortlessly.
Will The Carver Find His Audience?
But let’s talk about our butchering pilgrim, The Carver. He is every bit as evil as he seemed in his first appearance (sans that one bit of coitus with the cooked turkey, sorry if you were excited about that). Cutting a path through town as he looks for revenge, he serves Roth’s blood-soaked vision on a silver platter. The Carver would find a cozy home as Mortal Kombat 1 DLC character with the grotesque ways he takes out some of his targets, effortlessly cleaving through people and racking up not only a body count but several very memorable kills in the process.
Eli Roth’s commitment to creating a mean-spirited mise en scene is still unrivaled, with the nastier kills showing that undeniable finesse. Roth’s strong suit even in his less impressive films has always been setting up victims and teeing them off with the rawest deaths, which, when at his best, make you feel like you just got splattered in the face with their blood. And Roth is undoubtedly at his best in this film; one kill, in particular, got nearly everyone in the theatre to synchronize and let out one harmonious “Oh s**t!” like the world’s first swearing-only boys’ choir.
A Mostly Great Movie Let Down By a Less Than Stellar Soundtrack
That said, some aspects of Thanksgiving’s cinematography are more cold mashed potatoes than sweet cranberry sauce. The music is far and away from being the best I’ve heard this year, which is ironic since a lot of the worse-off exploitation films of the 70s did coast by having decent soundtracks. Most audience members will be too preoccupied wincing at where The Carver’s axe (and pitchfork, and hammer) lands to notice this, though. And I can’t lie, I didn’t notice it until later either.
When it comes to the story, the twist of who the killer is falls apart after one particular detail in the film, which is something Roth and company must have noticed since they included a throwaway line meant to dissuade audience members from guessing The Carver’s very clear identity. Chances are you will figure it out early on, so don’t sweat it, and try not to feel too insulted when they do that thing flashing back to the very obvious red herring lines throughout the film.
Why Thanksgiving Is a Must-See for Horror Fans
Roth’s work has always been a mixed bag for me. But when Roth has the sauce, he has it, and this movie is drowning in pure gravy. If you were waiting for a top-tier slasher packed with pitch-black humor and crimson blood everywhere, you’ll be pretty happy. If you were waiting for another one of those rare, legitimately great holiday horror films, you’ll be ecstatic. But regardless of what you’re waiting for, you should absolutely head to theatres to see Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving releases, exclusively in theatres, this Friday, November 17th!
Reviews
‘Them That Follow’ Review: A Bleak and Brilliant Thriller
From Blood Shine to now, I’ve really been eating my words with my “don’t like cult horror” attitude. Maybe all I needed was a gigantic break from the hundreds of cult-based horror films that were being churned out. Or, maybe the subgenre just needed some space to find its footing? Anyway, imagine the shock on my face when I was researching snake-based horror films and came across Them That Follow, starring Walton Goggins, Olivia Coleman, Kaitlyn Dever, and *checks notes* Jim Gaffigan!
Lemuel (Walton Goggins) is the pastor of a snake-fearing religious group, tucked away deep in the Appalachian mountains. His daughter, Mara (Alice Englert), is set to marry Garret (Lewis Pullman), a man she seemingly has no interest in. As their young love comes into question, Johnny Law starts breathing down their necks. With her best friend Dilly (Kaitlyn Dever) on her side, Mara questions everything she’s known about her life thus far. Will she go forward and marry a man she may not even love? Or, will her former fling, Auggie (Thomas Mann), win her affection and get her to leave this awful life behind?
A Slow-Burn With Style
Writer/directors Brittany Poulton and Dan Madison Savage bring a wholly unique feature to the table with Them That Follow. At first, the film’s meandering and lackluster pace is grating. WHEN will something happen? WHAT will move this story forward? Slowly but surely, Poulton and Savage’s story serpentines its way into nihilistic horror. If you have zero control over your life, what kind of life is it? Them That Follow is a harrowing, albeit slow, exploration of grief in a way that “elevated horror” typically fails at doing. Rather than forcing audiences into its grief, Poulton and Savage craft an excellent story around it.
Them That Follow explores not just grief, but groupthink. In a world where deeply religious political parties storm pizza restaurants with automatic weapons and kill in the name of their god, this film acts as a harsh mirror. YOU may not be aware that groups like this exist…they do. One of my favorite articles is written by someone who embedded himself in a Q-adjacent cult as he chronicled just how broken some of these groups are. (I wish I could remember the title/author, sorry!) Them That Follow does an incredible job at visualizing some of the things I read in that article. Those who believe Lemuel see nothing wrong with letting one of their friends get bitten by a venomous snake and slowly drift into a quiet death in the name of their god.
Outstanding Performances and a Surprising Cast
What really excited me about Them That Follow is how wonderfully miserable the cast is. Never have I seen people portray misery as entertainingly as this cast. Walton Goggins embodies his violent optimism in a way I haven’t seen him do before (though I haven’t seen Justified). Olivia Coleman is brilliant as always. But it’s everyman comedian Jim Gaffigan who really caught my eye. His performance is subtle and refined, something I didn’t think he could pull off. And if you ever thought you would see the day where Jim Gaffigan and Olivia Coleman play husband and wife on screen, you’re lying.
It’s not until the final act that the film goes from stagnant (positively) forwardness to amped up energy. I was concerned Them That Follow wouldn’t nail an interesting stinger, but Poulton and Savage wrapped a bloody brilliant bow on the end of this gift. I did wish they had gone in a different, less realistic angle to the film’s ending; something more grotesque. But I can’t fault them for leaving the film grounded in a reality that is justified and believable. Not all films like this have to end with a supernatural, Lovecraftian twist. And for that, I tip my ten-gallon hat to them.
Why Them That Follow Deserves More Attention
Them That Follow was an incredible surprise, and a wonderful change of pace for what cult-based horror films typically are. With a stacked cast, brilliant writing, and stunning performances, I’m shocked more people haven’t stumbled across this film. It utilizes its snake-based horror well and doesn’t vilify those slithery sneaks in a way many snake-based horror films do. At the very least, watch this film to see what it would be like if Olivia Coleman and Jim Gaffigan were married.
Reviews
‘Five Nights at Freddy’s 2’ Review: Fanservice Wrapped in Mess
I have no illusions that Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 entertained me due in no small part to personal bias. There was genuine enjoyment to be had for how silly and fun it was and enjoy it I did. I, of all people, am not immune to nostalgia. But there’s no mincing words: the second outing at the cinemas for creator Scott Cawthon’s behemoth horror franchise is, in no uncertain terms, a movie of mixed to low quality. It’s kind of bad. And that’s okay.
Its effects are simultaneously better and worse, its dialogue ranges from alright to atrocious, and its performances are all over the place. The premise it runs with, remixing the second game with its shiny new Toy versions of the Fazbear Entertainment gang, is a fun time fueled by fan service and busting at the seams to try and accommodate it all to an under two-hour runtime. But it’s messier than the backrooms of the pizzerias it takes place in.
A Remix of Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 (And Others), Heavy on Fanservice
This time, the primary antagonist puppeteering a cast of aggressive animatronics is literally a puppet; the Marionette, a scorned victim of the previous film’s antagonist William Afton. Slain and bound to the very first restaurant Afton started, a group of ghost hunters unleash its evil when a recording of their show goes horribly wrong. It’s up to Mike (Josh Hutcherson) and Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail) to try and seal it away again, or risk their lives being torn apart by the supernatural once more.
For the game fans this film was crafted for, it will satiate any lore craving they might have. Well, at least until the third film, when Mike will combat oxygen deprivation that causes him to hallucinate phantom animatronics (no, that sentence is not a joke, that actually happens). There are tidbits of foreshadowing for sequels, confirmations of theories, retcons, and somewhat amusing cameos. For everyone else, you’ll get a good laugh and the occasional scare, but you will have a plethora of questions.
The Screenplay Has Been Springlocked
The script for this sequel is riddled with oddities, nothing characters, and genre cliches that are in a quantum state of “good because it’s hilarious” and “bad because it’s genuinely bad” depending on who is delivering them. The story isn’t always predictable just because of the adaptation factor it relishes in, but its dialogue is undeniably silly and hamstrings what could otherwise be good performances with a need to rush along lore and forced character development.
Hutcherson’s go around as Mike this time is phoned in, and it doesn’t help that he wasn’t given anything to work with other than being a stereotypical single father figure to his kid sister. It’s not all bleak; Lail does actually deliver the film’s best bits in a genuinely frightening dream sequence delving into Vanessa’s backstory. She also gets a few fun final girl moments, but hasn’t reached the level of iconic that would garner calling her a scream queen; we’ll see if that changes in 3 given the radical shift in character she goes through here.
Great Villains Hamstrung by an Imperfect Script (And Effects)
Piper Rubio is once again fit to her role as Abby, though the character she’s playing is oddly one note for a child who is psychic friends with the ghosts of dead kids. The brief voice lines for the animatronics by guest stars garner little in the way of memorability, but long-time Freddy voice actor Kellen Goff does manage to make a solid impact with the one or two lines he receives.
While we’re on the topic of those new fiendish animatronics, they are much better than anticipated. Their practical puppetry bases and how they’re composited with the CGI isn’t bad at all, with game designs translating well and moving nicely. The Marionette’s myriad forms, however, do feel exceptionally goofy despite the terrifying concept of a slithering octopoid puppet ghost with no concrete skeleton. They’re the lowlight of the film’s effects, but it’s kind of endearing how silly they look.
The biggest victim of the film, however, is Freddy Carter. He plays the creep factor of his character up to a thousand in a way that absolutely would work with better writing and a darker tone. But he’s shackled by the lore implications of being a character people have been waiting for, in a way that feels more offensive to the story than the constant easter eggs. Every word that leaves his mouth feels comically bad, laden with exposition or just outright limp and cold linework.
We Underused Matthew Lillard Again (And Skeet Ulrich This Time Too)
Which is a shame, because our minor villain does get to have fun. Matthew Lillard’s brief screen chewing time in the sun as William Afton once more is delightful, playing a deranged killer in a yellow bunny costume with all the glee that visual would indicate.
Skeet Ulrich as fan favorite character Henry Emily, however, doesn’t get nearly enough time to shine. Despite being a perfect casting for the role and delivering a convincing turn as a grieving father, he’s relegated to just delivering a plot device that gets 30 seconds of screentime. Here’s to hoping the next film reunites the Scream alums, allowing the long-time rivals of the game to finally cross paths.
Can Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 Be More Than Fan Service?
I suppose the constant reiteration of that last point is important to address: the current train of thought is that hopefully, eventually, the kinks will be worked out as far as the Five Nights at Freddy’s films go. Though I’m not holding my breath.
There are no reservations that this is, first and foremost gateway horror for younger audiences, with a nostalgia barbed fishhook to sink into in older fans as well. My humble prediction is that almost all of these films will remain roughly the same level of quality (middling to poor), the same level of frightening (more than you’d think and much less than you’d hope), and the same level of entertaining for the segments of the population it hits for (a fairly fun time).
And maybe that’s enough. To simply be entertaining gateway horror is fine, I don’t think there’s a screaming necessity for these to be masterpieces. This movie is kind of bad, and that’s okay if all you need is some fleeting entertainment or to see your favorite game adapted to film. But films with this much franchise potential should be treated as all others. They can be strong horror films with great iconography rather than features beholden entirely to that iconography.
Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 fails to wow in any particular department other than being “for the fans” and much of its unintentional humor. Still, there’s a glimmer of hope here in its silvery eyes that this can all be something more down the line.


