Reviews
‘The Ruins’ (2008) A Lesson on Vacationing With Respect
The Ruins (dir. Carter Smith) came out at a time when my worldview was very small. Those spindly vines, the horror inflicted on the mind and body, and the isolation persuaded me into an anxiety toward traveling. I’m a poorly traveled 26-year-old now, but I’ve realized there’s a different story being told. One where American tourism abroad, and its imperialistic heritage, is ridiculed as a disruption to local culture and social norms.
Quite frankly, this movie is filled to the brim with white privilege. Four American college-aged kids are on vacation in Mexico near the Mayan ruins. Meeting another traveling group, they’re persuaded into an excursion to a ruinous area sensationalized by traveling blogs and other hearsay. Adapted from the 2006 novel written by Scott Smith, I can’t speak to that source material. The film, however, trails breadcrumbs of the bravado that infests Americans’ behaviors while vacationing.
Personally, I can’t imagine talking down on the local culture of the country I’m visiting. This band of characters will though. They never really give the impression that they’re enjoying their time on this vacation. Their assumptions about natives and the land they’re inhabiting reek of racist Western ideologies: stuff about “shit-water” and sacrifices. It makes you wonder whether they did their research before booking their plane tickets, or took a racial sensitivity class.
Cultural Ignorance Turns the Vacation Into a Nightmare
These international travelers hop off the bus in a rural area where “taxi” is painted on a yellow pick-up truck. Their Spanish is poor, but they persuade the driver to take them to the ruins despite his hesitation upfront. The elements of an eldritchian horror story take root. Mysterious children haunt the ruins’ entrance, and locals discover the foreigners trespassing. These locals are depicted as aggressive as they yell at the strangers who have touched the plants. Because of the language barrier, though, the international travelers make matters worse for themselves.
The first step to traveling internationally is picking up the native language. It’s a sign of respect, first and foremost, and clearer communication can keep you safe. A recent finding discovered that only 58% of Americans actually do their language homework before traveling abroad. These Mayan ruins’ explorers are among the percentage who don’t. Jeff (Jonathan Tucker) asks the taxi driver if he speaks English because that’s what Jeff is comfortable with.
Cosmic Horror Strips Away American Exceptionalism
The hard truth that Americans can’t always face about international travel is the vulnerability to discomfort. Embarking unprepared leaves you disarmed in a place bound to make you feel small. The eldritch horror of this eco-nightmare chomps Americans down to size with powers beyond comprehension. Jeff points out that “four Americans just don’t disappear,” which instills the group with hope. Being American gives them the kind of faith that our national anthem preaches about. The ruin’s cosmicism outweighs their thoughts and prayers, though.
One by one, their psyches become a ruin of their own. The friends succumb to paranoia along with the other side effects of isolation. Outsmarting the vines is no use, because they’ll always remain as a mysterious power. They mimic sound, whether the voice of your lover or the ringtone of a telephone. As a unit, they move and grow at a questionable rate: spreading like cancer with just one touch. The days in which they thought the National Guard would arrive only serve as painful reminders of their insignificance.
The Ruins Ending Undercuts Its Strongest Themes
America really loves its happy endings, even in horror. The second act dread of this vacation horror movie is washed away for the glorious getaway at the end. Yet another fade-to-black on a final girl who isn’t iconic enough. If the movie had leaned into that despair for a bleaker ending, its themes would feel even more poignant. The fact of the matter is Western attitudes are conditioned to exert control in every facet. A movie like The Ruins reminds us that it’s only an illusion. So if you’re traveling with your passport this summer, don’t forget to learn the language.
Most people find that stretching their dollar still barely gets them by in today’s economy. I am very particular about what I spend my spare money on regarding extracurriculars. And no one likes to feel like their money is wasted. Madame Morbid Trolley Tours wasn’t an experience I had been familiar with. Maybe that’s because I’m chronically offline for most of my life. So this leads to the perfect question: in today’s turbulent economy, is Madame Morbid Trolley Tours worth the price? The short answer is unquestionably, yes. But it’s more than just a simple yes.
My wife and I arrived at the designated meeting point 15 minutes before the scheduled departure time. A handful of minutes later, a gorgeous, e-candle-lit trolley pulled up to the side of the road. We were greeted by impeccably on-brand Allison Chase, our tour guide, and trolley driver ‘Mad’ Matt Zaller. The wonderfully cheery duo invited us on the trolley, and the tour was set to begin.
400 Years of Death, Destruction, and Infrastructure
After a welcoming video intro from someone who knows a thing or two about busting ghosts, we set off on the inaugural Madame Morbid Trolley Tour in its ninth year of operation. From the Brooklyn Naval Yard all the way to Dumbo, and more, this tour magnificently chronicles 400 years of history, the good and the bad, expertly. No matter how much you think you may know about Brooklyn history, I can bet there will be something new learned within the first 15 minutes of the tour. From the first-ever plane crash to one of the worst theater fires in history, this tour covers tragedies that the greatest horror writers couldn’t conceive.
The Deadly [Charming] Docent
Allison Chase led the fascinating tour in character from the moment we stepped on the trolley until our departure. But Allison’s character was not forced or fake; you could feel Allison’s passion for not just morbid history, but the accuracy of it. Some of the stories we heard were steeped in historical context, and it was not boring for a single second. The Madame Morbid Trolley Tour is not your standard full-talking tour. It’s a mixed-media adventure of some of Brooklyn’s darkest moments.
During “downtime” (the times between locations), we were edutained by mini documentaries (that were quite funny). Some of the “downtime” was filled with traffic trivia (I won a needle pen!). And other times were show-and-tell-like, with objects passed around for us to examine. But there was never a moment of silence that wasn’t purposeful. All in all, Allison’s knowledge and passion shone like the luminosity of a full moon.
Is Madame Morbid Trolley Tours Worth It?
The Madame Morbid Trolley Tour was not just a fun night out for my wife and me, but it was a delightfully dark night of edutainment. It should also be noted that ‘Mad’ Matt’s driving skills were fantastic. There was a time when I had become enamored with how Matt handled the narrow streets of Brooklyn before realizing that I needed to refocus my attention on Allison. The Madame Morbid Trolley Tour is an exceptionally fun evening of horror and history that will make you think twice next time you walk down the streets of Brooklyn. It is worth the money, and then some. There’s no better activity for a cold, dark October night than the Madame Morbid Trolley Tour.
For more information on Madame Morbid Trolley Tours, and to get your tickets, click here!
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I should have watched the Stephen King adaptation Cujo a million years ago. First of all, I was a voracious King reader in middle school. The other thing I was obsessed with during those years was Friends. You know, the show that hinges a major episode’s subplot on Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) watching Cujo for the first time. Whatever the reason was, I never got around to it, but I’m rectifying that oversight now.
What is Cujo About?
Cujo tells a relatively simple story. Donna Trenton’s (Dee Wallace) a housewife who’s cheating on her husband Vic (Daniel Hugh-Kelly) with local handyman Steve (Christopher Stone). There’s no accounting for taste, because Vic is 10 times hotter and Steve doesn’t own a bed frame. Look, Donna. I know Vic has that awful David Hasselhoff hair, but I promise the 1980s will end sooner or later. It’ll be OK.
Donna’s attempted termination of this affair ultimately leads to its discovery. Amid this drama, her car breaks down at a mechanic’s isolated farmhouse, trapping her and her son, Tad (Danny Pintauro). You see, the mechanic’s dog, Cujo, freshly christened with rabies, is patrolling the area and attacking everything in sight.
Dee Wallace Is Cujo’s Not-So-Secret Weapon
It would be impossible to start a worthwhile review of Cujo without praising Dee Wallace. The woman is a genre icon, naturally. Think about this: She had only appeared in seven theatrical movies before starring in Cujo. Four of those movies are The Stepford Wives, The Hills Have Eyes, E.T., and The Howling. But this woman didn’t become an icon simply by accidentally stumbling into some iconic titles. She is simply terrific as Donna, using her darting eyes and taut expression to deliver oodles of subtext. You instantly get the sense of how trapped she feels by marriage and motherhood without her uttering a single word.
A good performance is vital, here. Because there’s a hell of a lot of drama to get through before she’s trapped in that damn car. But Wallace instantly shoves you into Donna’s perspective, whether you like it or not. This makes it all the more potent when she is menaced by Cujo. Her desperate attempts for survival, also impeccably performed, have true weight because she seems like a real person. She is also given an incredible scene partner in Danny Pintauro. The future Who’s the Boss? star, who was only six when shooting Cujo, has a perfect everychild quality. His innocence heightens the peril. But so does that fact that he is just as irritating as every six-year-old you’ve ever met.
This movie truly captures how annoying it must be to be stuck in a life-and-death situation with a child. This is a compliment, I swear! Donna is worn down by every aspect of the situation, including her own son’s inability to cope with it. And this ratchets up the tension even further, to an almost unbearable degree.
Cujo Is a Mixed Bag, But Worthwhile Overall
The movie doesn’t work if Cujo himself doesn’t work, and at first I was real worried that he wouldn’t. In the first half, the St. Bernards that play Cujo onscreen are often shown to be wagging their tails in delight. Which kind of undercuts the reality of the situation, I’d say. But the editing and the special effects step in to fix what animal training couldn’t. The attack scenes in the second half are constructed with quick cuts that never let you get too much purchase. It’s a good approach for keeping viewers off-kilter.
Also, Cujo becomes less and less recognizable as a cuddly canine the further the movie gets. It’s a simple trick, really. He ends up getting coated with more and more slime. Saliva, pus, blood, and what have you. This is good for making him feel like a true movie monster. Plus, it’s a good mirror for the sliminess inside the car as it gets covered in sweat, blood, and grime.
The second half of the movie ultimately works like gangbusters. It’s a shame that Cujo is too cowardly to get Donna and Tad in the car before the halfway point. This decision is somewhat faithful to the book’s structure as I remember it. However, it diminishes the weight of the long days that they spend in the car. We really need to feel that crushing stretch of time, and we don’t. When Tad is suffering from dehydration, it’s not a gut punch. Honestly, I just found myself asking, “Already?” It’s good that they gave the movie a happier ending, because the classic grimdark Stephen King finale wouldn’t have landed.
Is Cujo Worth Watching in 2026?
At the end of the day, Cujo is a solid movie and I’m glad I finally watched it. However, it’s not such a stone-cold classic that I’m not at least a little intrigued by that upcoming Netflix remake…
