Reviews
The Hitcher (2007) Review: This Remake Deserves a Second Look
Would it be a month of coverage on Horror Press if I didn’t bring up at least one aughts film? I know the curator of all things Horror Press, James-Michael, is shaking his fists at the sky and cursing the fact that he approved me covering The Hitcher. Of all the remakes that were so pervasive throughout the aughts, The Hitcher is one that slipped completely under my radar. And that’s a damn shame. It wouldn’t be until I found a DVD copy at Bookoff that I finally got the opportunity to watch it. Hot damn, the critics really got it wrong here.
The Hitcher: A Road Trip Turned Nightmare
Jim Halsey (Zachary Knighton) and his girlfriend Grace Andrews (Sophia Bush) are on a road trip to Lake Havasu in Jim’s gorgeous Oldsmobile 442. An unfortunate run-in with a mysterious hitchhiker, John Ryder (Sean Bean), Jim and Grace find themselves in a fight for life and death. Only, John isn’t their only concern. With the 5-0 hot on their tails, Jim and Grace must escape from a psychopathic man with a death wish and the hot-tempered, hot-faced Lieutenant Esteridge (Neal McDonough). As the odometer grows, so does the body count.
The Hitcher is one of those remakes that does not have the approval of the original’s lead, Rutger Hauer. Which is astounding to me. Sure, the original is good. But it doesn’t set itself apart from the crowd too much. Rutger Hauer’s John is slightly more reserved, and while he has an edge to him, I don’t necessarily find him overly menacing. (Don’t kill me.) Sean Bean’s John Ryder, on the other hand, is furiously terrifying. There’s no question that there are tons of issues with the Platinum Dunes remake, though, for me, the pros significantly outweigh the cons.
Jim Halsey Falls Flat
The biggest issue is the character of Jim Halsey. I love how the roles of Jim and Grace are swapped from the original film. It brings an updated, modern edge to the film and is a great way to throw audiences who have seen the original. Though I can imagine the hyper-masculine fans of the original were not too happy with that. When it was decided to swap the roles of the characters, it seems like any character depth for Jim was thrown out of the window. I think Zachary Knighton is a wonderful actor who does the best with what he has, but he doesn’t have enough to work with. Writers Eric Red, Jake Wade Wall, and Eric Bernt updated the film with tons of epic scenarios and moments, while seemingly forgetting to make the supposed lead of the film interesting.
On top of cardboard Jim, the inciting police incident just feels very forced. Grace runs into a diner, covered in blood, after she and Jim found a family butchered by John. Someone from the diner calls the police, which leads to Jim and Grace being arrested and charged with murder. Whether or not that’s supposed to be commentary on rural police doesn’t matter because it completely fails to do anything other than forcibly push the story forward.
Besides that? I hate to say, but I don’t have many issues with The Hitcher.
Soundtrack and Atmosphere: A High-Octane Experience
First and foremost, The Hitcher’s soundtrack is incredible. We start the film with Move Along by The All-American Rejects. Talk about a shot of adrenaline. And the greatest needle drop in all of aughts horror history is Nine Inch Nails’s Closer during the film’s most wild car chase. It’s hard not to get lost in this film when the music kicks in.
What really sells this film is how intensely they handle the violence and the film’s gorgeous chase scenes. It’s no Death Proof, but these scenes are miles above the Fast movies that were out at this time. In a day and age where chase scenes are overly produced, badly edited, and just plain boring, The Hitcher manages to infuse horror and action in a way that probably won’t be seen again. Watching films like The Hitcher makes me sad for the state of modern cinema. The Hitcher wasn’t made to win scores of Oscars; it was made by people passionate about telling a badass, harrowing story (minus Jim). And they greatly excel at that.
The Hitcher Is a Misunderstood Cult Favorite
The Hitcher falls in line with my running theory of post-9/11 ultra violence. We were a nation scared of what happened, what was happening, and what seemed to be on the horizon–The Hitcher bottles that fear and anger, packaging it into a nasty piece of genre. Sean Bean and Sophia Bush are an on-screen match made in heaven. They wade through harsh lighting, thick film grain, and buckets of blood to deliver a film that critics and audiences unfairly panned. While audiences may have moved along, I sure didn’t. I want to exist in a world of nothing but aughts genre films, but am forced to live in a world of elevated horror. Le sigh.
I was browsing the Arrow Video table at Brooklyn Horror Film Festival in 2024, spending way too much money. (Nearly $400!) One film really caught my eye. Its cover was unassuming but spoke loudly: two red-lit people in space suits on the top left, while a (what seemed to be) missile silo took up the rest of the cover. The cover was enough to sell me, and I threw it in my car. Little did I know that The Andromeda Strain was going to be one of the most fascinating films I have ever watched. And the book was just as spectacular.
What is The Andromeda Strain About?
Piedmont, New Mexico, is quickly thrust into chaos when a government satellite crashes into the town of 68 people. Doctors Jeremy Stone (Arthur Hill), Charles Dutton (David Wayne), Mark Hull (James Olson), and Ruth Leavitt (Kate Reid) are activated to investigate this local extinction event. But they don’t find themselves inside a normal science lab; the four doctors are sent to Wildfire, a deep underground military base (D.U.M.B.). This 5-level-deep base is our nation’s frontline defense against this cataclysmic incident, but should it escape, then all hell would break loose.
Adapting Michael Crichton’s Novel
Based on the Michael Crichton novel of the same name, The Andromeda Strain is a wonderfully contained film that’s as pulse-pounding as it is fascinating. As someone who isn’t very smart, a film (and book) like this one makes me feel educated. Sci-Fi films find themselves constantly tiptoeing a tightrope of understanding. Hell, science is in its name. Should a writer make the science aspects too dumb, either no one will believe it, or people will be bored. If a writer makes it too smart, you alienate audiences like me, whose eyes quickly gloss over.
Nelson Gidding’s script, which is fairly accurate to Crichton’s novel, does an incredible job of bringing Crichton’s fascinating novel to life. Gidding trims out some fat where needed, turning this story into an incredibly lean two-hour 10-minute self-contained epic. With stylistic assistance from director Robert Wise, Gidding keeps the near-epistolary feel of the novel. But it’s the pacing and stylization of the film that bring it to a new level.
Robert Wise’s Direction and the Film’s Unique Sci-Fi Style
Robert Wise and cinematographer Richard H. Kline bring forced monotony in the most engaging way. I love how the decontamination chapters are handled in the novel, though it could be worrying to question how that could be transcribed over to film. But it’s how the decontamination scenes are handled that adds substance to the style. These scenes are slow, tiring, and should bring the pacing to a complete stop. At this point, we’ve seen what this satellite did to the town, and we’re amped to get more context. These scenes seem to go on and on, and it’s the tedium that comes with them that humanizes the entire process. I’m sure these doctors want to get to the heart of why they’re here, and as viewers, we’re forced alongside them to sit and wait for each second to tick by through the cleaning process on EACH level.
Most of the characters are fodder for dialogue and plot advancements, but it’s the characters of Dr. Hall and Dr. Leavitt who are the most complex. Dr. Hall is trusted with the key that would detonate a nuclear bomb inside this D.U.M.B., due to what is described as the odd-man hypothesis. (This basically means, should the crap really hit the fan, a single man with no children would have the least amount of issues making a tough decision in a life-or-death scenario.) And Dr. Leavitt’s character is maddeningly deep. She suffers from a medical issue that goes undisclosed–this is due to her deep love for her work, and she would not be able to do what she does based on this issue.
The Underground Base and Production Design
But what really sells me on this film is how it all takes place in a gorgeously constructed underground military base. The set design is beyond immaculate and well-crafted. It truly feels like an authentic underground base. And it’s fascinating that I stumbled on this film at the same time I had been doing deep research into Valiant Thor, Raven Rock, and the Greada Treaty. Though that is neither here nor there.
Why The Andromeda Strain Is Essential Sci-Fi Viewing
The Andromeda Strain is a grounded, but still incredibly smart, Sci-Fact film that brings light to an oft-not-spoken-about aspect of the United States Government. It excels at telling a brilliant, life-changing story while making it palatable for all audiences. This is a film that should be shown over the course of three Fridays in a lazy teacher’s science class. Action, anxiety, and fear abound in The Andromeda Strain. It’s a film that should be on any film viewer’s watchlist.
There are countless subgenres within subgenres for horror, and one that feels underutilized is workplace horror. Unless you’re one of the lucky few, most people wake up at some point during the day, go to work, and then come home. It’s one of the few things in life that’s nearly unavoidable. While there are countless real-life examples of workplace violence, seeing exaggerated forms of it in film can still be fun. When I pitched covering The Belko Experiment for this month, I actually thought I was pitching Joe Lynch’s Mayhem. I soon found out how incorrect I had been, but figured I’d go along with it anyway.
Mike Milch (John Gallagher Jr.) and 79 of his coworkers are locked inside the towering building they come to work in every day in Bogotá, Colombia. They’re given simple instructions: murder two coworkers within the next half hour. When they fail that task, coworkers’ heads start blowing up left and right. When they’re given the next task, kill 30 people in two hours, they take it…a little more seriously.
The Belko Experiment’s Brutal Premise Sets Up High Stakes
Written by James Gunn and directed by Wolf Creek creator Greg McLean, The Belko Experiment is a painfully by-the-numbers film that offers little more than a handful of entertaining kills. Its futile attempts at commentary regarding work/life balance or just how bad “faceless” upper management is fall so flat it’s comical. Nothing like multi-millionaire James Gunn telling me how awful it is to have to work a real job for a living. Great work. And its one-dimensional characters do little more than create a slight sigh of relief when they’re dispatched without regard.
A singular attempt at cleverness is broached from the beginning when we see a colony of ants in an ant farm on someone’s desk. Oh, look at that, these workers are nothing more than mindless ants! But any attempt at following that slightly clever idea is quickly thrown away. At one point, Barry Norris (Tony Goldwyn), the big boss in the office, attempts to group up who should and shouldn’t be killed; who has the most value outside of work. Gunn had the perfect opportunity to make Barry a deep and more sinister antagonist. If Barry had grouped people into sets from most to least profitable for the company, we would have something. It would show that Barry is a forward-thinking villain who is trying to suck up to the people who get paid even MORE than him!
Missed Opportunities for a Smarter Corporate Villain
I’ll do you one better. After all of that, what if the bad guys that Barry recruited to help him cull his subordinates realized they were just pawns in the game of Big Business? So then they attempt to repent by killing Barry in the hopes that they can find a common means of escape from this hell? Why is there zero attempt at making an interesting story other than this shitty, watered-down Battle Royale with people we don’t give a shit about? Instead of anything interesting, we’re just given a group of baddies who try to get into the security office’s gun safe. The only reason we’re slightly scared of the “bad guys” is because they’re bad guys.
The only slightly interesting performances we get are from David Dastmalchian and Adria Arjona, even if it might be a fluke. As someone who is a fan of Greg McLean and the Wolf Creek series, something just felt disconnected about nearly every aspect of The Belko Experiment. I’ve brought it up before that sometimes it’s okay to have a film that doesn’t tell a great story as long as the kills can carry some of the weight. But to say this film has a story is laughable, and that carries over to how flat this film looks.
Skip The Belko Experiment and Watch Mayhem Instead
It’s weird how sour this film left me. When I was watching it, I found myself grimacing at some of the kills. And I didn’t vehemently dislike it as much as this review would suggest. But as I sat there and thought longer, I just couldn’t wrap my head around what anyone sees in this. Mayhem is an all-around better film that tackles this same subject but in a much better way. So if you ever decide to sit down and watch The Belko Experiment, maybe go watch Mayhem on Shudder instead.
