Reviews
‘Piranha 3D’ Review: Still Bites Nearly Two Decades Later
While Piranha 3D was released in 2010, I didn’t get around to watching it until roughly four years later, after seeing Piranha 3DD (2012). In complete transparency, I had no clue that 3DD was a sequel to 3D! 3DD was the first film I purchased from FYE my freshman year of college, and it was an absolute blast–though I could be biased because I’m probably the world’s biggest Hasselhoff fan. Color me surprised, when I finally got around to catching 3D with my late friend Jordan in our dilapidated college rental house, that it was even more fun than the sequel. But does Piranha 3D still hold up over 15 years after its release? Or does it fall victim to the fate many aughts (and early 10s) films do, where it exists as an extreme product of its time?
What Is Piranha 3D About?
Jake Forester (Steven R. McQueen) is on the verge of adulthood, as madness descends upon his lake town for this year’s Spring Break festivities. His mother, Sheriff Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue), tasks Jake with watching his adolescent brother and sister, as a recent earthquake causes a team of seismologists to come check out the new fault. But Jake has other plans. He’s paid to ride around with porn producer Derrick Jones (Jerry O’Connell) and cameraman Andrew (Paul Scheer) for unique and exotic locations to film their next Girls Gone Wild-like video. Things seem to be going well until the seismologists uncover a dreadful discovery that will end in blood, limbs, and death.
Have you ever watched a film that is a convergence of so many exceptionally creative minds, and wonder…how the hell did this even happen?! Just one year after the incredibly underappreciated Sorority Row, and thirteen years before Saw X, Josh Stolberg and Pete Goldfinger would prove once again that their perfect wheelhouse for horror is a mix of great horror and pitch-black comedy. Piranha 3D, while (unfortunately, yes) it does fall victim to its era, the movie perfectly juggles its humor and levity with its garishly grotesque ultra-violence.
Stolberg and Goldfinger’s script doesn’t necessarily break new ground, nor does it stand out from the bloody T&A films of the time. But it succeeds in taking aspects from the original 1978 film and twisting them into the blood-filled, thrilling final product that Piranha 3D is. It really feels like a big-budget Sci-Fi Original.
Alexandre Aja Directs With Gleeful Brutality
This is far from the first time I’ve discussed Alexandre Aja and his producing partner Grégory Levasseur for Horror Press. My very first article was about their extremely incredible The Hills Have Eyes remake, and they quickly worked their way into my heart with that film. Piranha 3D would mark their third US feature, and also coincidentally, their third remake! After Hills, Aja and Levasseur took a step away from ultra-violence for the more subdued, thought-provoking Keifer Sutherland vehicle Mirrors. And while that’s an enjoyable flick, blood and guts are where Aja and Levasseur really shine. Along with cinematographer John R. Leonetti (The Conjuring, Insidious) and SFX artists Greg Nicotero and Howard Berger, Aja and Levasseur were basically given every single opportunity to make a truly exceptional film that breaks the bounds of good taste. And that’s exactly what they did.
Set aside the extremely talented director, cinematographer, writers, producers, and SFX artists; you have a truly jaw-dropping cast. Obviously, you have Elisabeth Shue and Jerry O’Connell. But beyond that, you have: Adam Scott, Dina Meyer, Paul Scheer, Ving Rhames, Richard Dreyfuss, Ricardo Chavira, and Christopher Lloyd! Even with the film’s $24 million budget, that’s still an incredibly stacked cast. While Piranha 3D exists more as an ensemble piece, each star gets their own chance to shine (except for Dina Meyer, for some reason). Adam Scott, Paul Scheer, and Ricardo Chavira chew up the scenery like a ravenous prehistoric carnivorous fish. Ving Rhames and Richard Dreyfuss are kind of in and then out of the film, though their scenes are fun and memorable. And Christopher Lloyd really shines in the film’s exposition beats. There isn’t really a bad performance throughout the film…well, maybe except for Eli Roth.
Piranha 3D Is Still Worth Watching
So, how did all of these pieces come together for this truly weird final product? I couldn’t tell you. What I can tell you is that even though there are moments that make you feel icky and feel very of-the-time, Piranha 3D still succeeds at being a thrilling, bloody, and truly brutal time machine of torture. Sure, LMFAO is on the soundtrack. But there’s also a motor boat scalping that rips someone’s face off! You take the good with the bad. Piranha 3D and 3DD would still work to create a fun, rowdy double feature for you and a group of friends.
This film also left me wondering, do people still celebrate Spring Break anymore? Maybe it’s because I’m not plugged in with the youth, or maybe COVID killed Spring Break. Anyways, if you’re going out to celebrate it this year, maybe listen if you’re told to get out of the water as quickly as possible.
Reviews
‘Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever’ Review: A Meth Trip That Never Ends
As a horror fan with no life, I watch a TON of horror movies. But, like nearly every horror fan, there are some films whose first viewing leaves deep impressions that will last a lifetime. I can remember where I was when I first watched House of Wax (2005), and The Evil Dead. Just to name a few. One film viewing that stuck with me most from my childhood was Cabin Fever. Probably because I watched it in a cabin in the Poconos during a once-in-a-lifetime snowstorm. While I condone little to nothing of what Eli Roth stands for nowadays, both personally and professionally, I cannot discount the effect his films had on me and my love of horror. Now, if we want to talk about a film I have apparently watched before and have zero recollection of? That would be Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever.
What Is Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever About?
John (Noah Segan) and Alex (Rusty Kelley) are two outcasts who find themselves on the short end of abuse from bullies and teachers alike. As prom approaches, the two friends have little hope for dates and are nearly resigned to spending the evening alone. The only chance John has for a date is his childhood crush, Cassie (Alexi Wasser), who is dating John’s biggest bully. After a series of events, catalyzed by Paul (Rider Strong) polluting a local water source, the kids of Springfield High are exposed to Paul’s deadly disease. One by one, the kids start infecting one another, leading to a prom that is bound to be bloodier than Carrie.
With a story from Randy Pearlstein and Ti West, a screenplay by Joshua Malkin, and directed by Alan Smithee (Ti West), Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever is truly a sight to behold. Many parts of Cabin Fever 2 feel retconned to justify its connection to its predecessor. While other parts of it work deliciously within the Cabin Fever universe. It’s no coincidence that Ti West fought tooth and nail to get his name removed from this project. In fact, this might be the first Alan Smithee film I’ve covered for Horror Press (hell, maybe in general). Copious reshoots from producers turned Ti West’s vision into this slapdash product that feels tonally unsure of what the hell it is–Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever is a goopy Frankenstein that exists in a better form on a cutting room floor somewhere…potentially lost to time forever.
Cabin Fever 2’s Biggest Problem is the Pacing
Most likely due to producer reshoots, one of the biggest sins of Cabin Fever 2 (and a general sin for film) is its pacing. CF2’s pacing starts like the final few minutes of a meth comedown, before slowly plateauing into meth fiending. Halfway through the film, brought to you by a great Patrick Hernandez “Born to be Alive” needle drop, we get our hands back on some meth. But that meth is stepped on and cut with something because the film goes completely off the rails. In both entertaining and excruciating ways.
After a solid Deputy Winston (Giuseppe Andrews) cold open, we’re given these gorgeous animated opening credits. These credits follow the source of Paul’s spread of the disease into a local water source, all the way through the bottling process, and ending in a bottle of water that’s delivered to Springfield High. And that’s when the film stops being remotely interesting.
Noah Segan Does His Best with a Bad Script
I’ve been a huge fan of Noah Segan for a long time. From Dead Girl and Scare Package, through The Pale Door and Blood Relatives, Noah Segan has always delivered for me. But even early-career Segan has a difficult time working through this awful dialogue that seems written on shoot day. Sure, Segan delivers the goods, but at what cost? His only remotely interesting early scenes exist between him and Cassie, and even those scenes only do so much to keep the viewer’s eyes glued to the screen. As the film goes on, and the action picks up, Segan finds his footing. Only it’s too little too late at that point.
But what’s a Cabin Fever film without skin-rippingly grotesque gore? The original film succeeded with crafting interesting (enough) characters that kept you enthralled until the crap finally hits the fan. Joshua Malkin’s script decides to throw all of that out of the window for whatever reason. Most of the character motivation from the first film is, indeed, sex. And there’s nothing wrong with having sex be a character’s motivating factor. But if those characters fail to be interesting in any way, shape, or form, then that’s where you have a product that will fall more flat than the skin of a degloved arm.
Ti West’s Visual Fingerprints and Where They Break Down
It’s somewhat hard to tell what was created by Ti West and what was crafted by producers, even if there is a slight tell. Many of the scenes have a distinct aspect ratio that feels very West-y. And that visual feel is kept through the entirety of the film, but with one distinct difference. Ti West has a very distinct shooting style that has carried through his entire career (except for you, MaXXXine). You can feel when the style is substantive and purposeful versus when a producer came in and was pigeonholed into shooting like that to keep visual continuity. The film’s visual tone becomes an overall detractor because, again, while it all looks the same, you can feel when it’s intended and when it’s done because they had to.
Is Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever Worth Watching?
Overall, Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever is a mess of a film. There are a handful of really great scenes of gore and violence, though it’s far from enough to make this product worthwhile. And screw the producers for not letting Ti West remove his name from this film. Even though my idol Larry Fessenden is in this film, I don’t think it’s worth a rewatch ever again. If you haven’t seen it, I don’t think I can even recommend it unless you’re a Ti West completionist. At least it’s better than Cabin Fever Patient Zero.
Film Fests
Overlook Film Festival: ‘Exit 8’ Review
If you’re at the intersection of video games and horror, then you know not all video game film adaptations are created equally. For every Silent Hill (2006), Werewolves Within, or Detention (2019), there is a lot of heartbreak and titles we’re still trying to forget. Which is why, when Kotake Create’s beloved Exit 8 video game was tapped to become a film, we held our collective breath. How would this quick psychological nightmare transfer to a feature-length film? Would the filmmaker chosen understand the assignment? Luckily, the movie works overall, and horror and game nerds have another title in the win column.
In Case You Missed It
Exit 8 puts gamers into the shoes of an unseen protagonist who is stuck in a subway station. Players soon realize that this location is not what it seems. They are also tasked with spotting anomalies in hopes of making it to the eighth level and (hopefully) back to the real world. Some of the anomalies are subtle, some are anxiety-inducing, and some leave you wanting to scream WTF? However, the game is a pretty quick introduction to liminal spaces and self-gaslighting.
The film, written by Kentaro Hirase and Genki Kawamura, understands what made the game effective. They even keep and elevate some of the anomalies that were my personal favorites. The duo also builds three very distinct characters to keep us from sitting for 95 minutes of vibes.
Walking Man (Yamato Kochi) is not just the creepy guy making circles in this hallway with us in the film. He gets a full arc in his chapter that informs us he was a human who panicked and made the wrong choice. He is now doomed to spend eternity here as part of others’ nightmarish quests. While all of the performances are great, Kochi brings a humanity and sadness to the role that was unexpected. He finds ways of using his character’s repetitive nature as a way to add subtle layers. This makes the shift into his chapter feel more alive, frantic, and heartbreaking. We know this journey isn’t going to end well for him, but it’s hard not to fully invest and feel that heartbreak anyway.
It’s Not All Great at Exit 8
Exit 8 plays with us in the beginning before shifting from first-person perspective to reveal our protagonist will be Lost Man (Kazunari Ninomiya). He and his girlfriend are having a moment when he ends up in this subway station on a loop. Their phone conversation reveals she’s pregnant, so Lost Man is having a bad day before getting stuck in liminal limbo. This, on its own, is fine. However, after a lot of laps, he meets The Boy (Naru Asanuma) and discovers he is not an anomaly.
The Boy ties Lost Man and Walking Man’s stories together. He tries to assist both of them on their journeys while being too afraid to speak for most of his screentime. Again, all of the performances are great, but a kid killing it with a mostly silent role is highly impressive. His relationship with these two broken and frightened men is believable and palpable. He and Lost Man specifically bond and form a lovely duo that, unfortunately, underscores the pregnant girlfriend to lead to a very pro-life message.
Exit 8’s Politics Derail the Horror
Kawamura directed the hell out of Exit 8, and it’s a good time. However, it’s hard to wash away the very heavy swerve into pro-life territory in 2026. Especially as a person with ovaries who lives in a country that doesn’t want me to have autonomy. Horror is political, and this game has so many things that could have been expanded on. The insertion of an anti-choice layer into a film centered on three male characters (at three very different stages of life) is wild. I personally hated it because, aside from that, it does capture the vibes of the game. It feels like watching someone piss in the lemonade on a hot summer day.


