Reviews
‘Silent Warnings’ (2003) Review: An Unknown UFO Gem
Like many people born in the mid-90s, the Sci-Fi Channel was one of my first introductions to horror. Whether it was random films playing or Sci-Fi’s 31 Days of Halloween, this channel was one of the main channels in my household. For the month of March, we’re going to take a look at Sci-Fi Originals (and maybe I cheated a bit and picked films that had their premiere on Sci-Fi). Picking films for this month was no easy task. Did I want to cover one of the plethora of amalgamated mega-animals fighting each other? Or what about shark tornadoes? One of the films I picked, after finding it too difficult to find Children of the Corn (2009) on streaming services, was an odd alien film I had never even heard of. That film is Silent Warnings.
What is Silent Warnings About?
Layne Vossimer (A.J. Buckley), his girlfriend Macy (Callie De Fabry), and a group of their friends head to Layne’s cousin’s house, Joe (Stephen Baldwin), after his mysterious death. Once there, they find the house in disgusting disarray. The friends decide to help Layne clean it up in order to put it on the market. But things quickly go south when they find a series of VHS tapes Joe left behind in the attic. What’s revealed in those tapes shows something that’s out of this world. Can Layne, his friends, and Sheriff Bill Willingham (Billy Zane) fend off these otherworldly invaders before it’s too late?
Conspiracy Theories, Mental Health, and Paranoia in Silent Warnings
As stated, this film was a late pick as I could not find 2009’s Children of the Corn streaming anywhere. Boy, am I glad I picked this. Silent Warnings has its fair share of issues. But it makes up for them in so many ways. This film is a very sober look into conspiracy theories, mental health, and the lengths that people go to when it comes to perceived threats. We get very little Stephen Baldwin, but what we do get is more than enough. He’s a recluse who lives on his 40-ish-acre property that’s been alien-proofed. His best friend (cousin?) is a scarecrow that has an AK-47. And he constantly records incoherent ramblings with his camcorder. Baldwin absolutely kills in his limited screentime. It’s like Stanislavski said, there are no small parts, only small actors.
Small-Town Horror and UFO Lore in Porterville
The quaint town of Porterville acts as the perfect backdrop for a story like this: a sleepy, nowhere town, where most people know each other. A town where the big call of the day for the Sheriff is about a missing dog. It’s the perfect setup for a story like this. It even mirrors many of the towns mentioned in Silent Invasion: The Pennsylvania UFO-Bigfoot Casebook. Much of this film’s atmosphere, the crop circles, acres of corn, and the disintegrating house, create a condensed world that adds so much claustrophobia to the film’s soul.
Acting, Dialogue, and the Problem with Early 2000s CGI Aliens
That being said, there are quite a few issues. Mainly, the acting. Besides Kim Onasch, Michelle Borth, Billy Zane, and A.J. Buckley (mostly), much of this film’s acting feels very Sci-Fi Original. It doesn’t help that the film’s dialogue, from writers Bill Lundy, Christian McIntire, and Kevin Gendreau, is just plain boring. And that’s not even mentioning how awful the CGI aliens look. A 2003 film about aliens, when only two or three are shown on screen, should be fully practical. And the fact that they use digital aliens takes away much of the film’s punch.
Why Silent Warnings Is an Underrated Sci-Fi Original
Silent Warnings doesn’t break much ground when it comes to the topic of aliens/Ufology, but it’s damn entertaining. But that’s the thing. Films don’t necessarily need to break new ground. I appreciate the swings this film takes, whether they hit or miss. There’s a wonderful setup with Stephen Baldwin, and the slow build to an exciting finale makes it all worth the wait. For a Sci-Fi Original, Silent Warnings has worked its way into my heart.
Reviews
‘Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma’ Review: A Must-See Visual Experience
Jane Schoenbrun’s Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is a piece of visual candy that everyone needs to get a taste of. Fitting, considering candy is at the center of the film’s visual language, and even becomes a large part of its set dressing. It’s an aesthetic choice that might signal to some that the film is meant to be more sugary or cloying about what it’s trying to say. And while it has a streak of sentimentality over horror films and how they shape their viewers that borders on being maudlin, Camp Miasma is genuinely too clever and full of surprises to be that simple.
The opening credits, for one, hold a personal favorite of these surprises. The sequence is an extended montage of merch and material for the fictional Camp Miasma films at the center of the plot; it’s an ersatz Friday the 13th franchise with a Sleepaway Camp story, and a Halloween number of awful sequels.
Camp Miasma Has Surprises in Store for You
The collection we’re treated to is a rapid-fire barrage of proof for the film’s attention to detail, with painstakingly crafted props and artwork that feel very familiar. VHS tapes and DVDs across the decades. Action figures and arcade games, Topps style movie trading cards with a stick of bubble gum that has long since turned to dust. And most enjoyably, a series of negative reviews and scandalous articles depicting the rise and fall of Camp Miasma as a series.
By the end of that montage, I felt nostalgia for movies that I had not and would never see, and that hit like a Mack truck. While this does very effectively set the stage for a simple meta-horror film, plucking at the familiar chords of something like Behind the Mask, Camp Miasma really violently breaks the mold. What results is a cosmic horror romantic comedy drama slasher, and more importantly, it’s one of the best-looking movies you’ll see all year as it pulls off that wild balancing act.
(That is, if you’re close enough to a theater showing it to see it.)
What is Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma About?
After entering a period of dormancy following a handful of box office bombs and dwindling popularity, the problematic Camp Miasma franchise has returned as a “zombie IP” decades later. The rights holders are hungry for a profitable reboot. And the necromancer they’ve hired for the job is the ambitious but green writer-director Kris (Hannah Einbinder). A critically acclaimed queer filmmaker, she’s begrudgingly tasked with sanding down its transphobic and sexist edges in favor of something cleaner and more palatable.
In search of inspiration, Kris visits Billy Presley (Gillian Anderson), the actress for final girl Squeak from the first Camp Miasma film. The reclusive Billy lives at the real-life camp the film was shot at, isolated from the world and crystallized into a horror movie museum. Immediately finding kinship in their love of the franchise, Kris’ fascination with getting Billy to star in the reboot quickly turns into romantic interest. But as that romance develops, the awkward Kris’s sexual awakening coincides with strange occurrences and hallucinations that suggest the film, and its killer, may be much more real than she bargained for.
A Wildly Fun Project That Changes the Pace for Jane Schoenbrun
It’s borderline criminal how narrow and staggered the theatrical release for Camp Miasma is going to be, because all the love it’s been getting on the festival circuit is not just critical buzz. It’s not an inside baseball sort of film, despite its myriad references to the horror genre on either side of the camera. It is, in fact, the director’s most accessible and fun film yet.
That was pretty vocally Schoenbrun’s goal; their third full length feature really does succeed with flying colors at feeling like “a conversation with a friend”, a sentiment they communicated during a Deadline interview at Cannes. It certainly feels lighter and more playful with the audience at the very least. We’re All Going to the World’s Fair was a noided, uncomfortable psychological endeavor about ARGs, internet culture, and isolated youth. I Saw the TV Glow was an expertly crafted but very harrowing thesis on the trans experience, dysphoria, and alienation.
But Camp Miasma, despite the dark places that it goes to for its characters, is a movie filled with so much cheer and humor, and made with so much care and love, that you can feel it in every single frame. The story it tells is inherently a happy one, despite the number of times someone explodes into a geyser of blood thanks to our film’s killer, Little Death. (Yes, they basically named him The Orgasm, but I said the movie was fun and made with love, not that it was particularly subtle.)
Expertly Exploring Sexuality and Filmmaking with Anderson and Einbinder
One also shouldn’t mistake the emphasis on how fun it is as an excuse for the film lacking substance either. Camp Miasma is heartfelt in its craft but really does boast a depth of character in its writing with how it explores desire and sexuality. It’s about sexual tension, sexual dysfunction, sexual trauma, and ultimately sexual liberation. And most importantly, it’s about how sex and sexuality inspires, informs, and shapes art on a fundamental level and vice versa.
The script is certainly thoughtful in this aspect but is especially carried by the two leads who fit their roles like they were poured into them. Even when Schoenbrun’s writing is heavy-handed and veers into self-indulgent territory (read: inevitable given the self-referential nature of the story), the two hold it down tremendously. Anderson is always a delight to see but is exceptionally charming here as Billy. The silky southern accent and the mellow Hollywood starlet appeal are all you really need to fall in love the way Kris does, but the charm masks a much more complex set of feelings that lie just below the surface.
More importantly, Einbinder’s captivating performance drives the film as much as the film drives her character. As Kris discovers more about herself, the breadth of emotion that begins to be unlocked translates to a really compelling unfolding of the material in Einbinder’s hands. It also culminates in the film’s funniest moment as Kris’ revelations about Camp Miasma and herself spill out at the worst possible time; it’s a scene that kills in a packed theater, and it’s worth the price of admission just to see it.
The Best Set Design You’ll See in A Movie All Year
Above all else, Camp Miasma deserves its flowers for its photography and production design. Schoenbrun and cinematographer Eric Yue have concocted one of the most visually striking and texturally rich movies this year from a photography standpoint. The camera work, color grading, and lighting are all phenomenally visceral. Appropriately so, given the subject matter at hand.
But what really steals the show is the set design. Designers Matt Hyland and Brandon Tonner-Connolly deserve praise in particular, having crafted the absolutely gorgeous glass matte backdrops that make up so much of the film’s exterior shots. They, like all of the set design here and Schoenbrun’s use of soft lighting and super-rich colors, are a good cross section of what makes the film tick: they are enticingly surreal, suffused with this almost visible dream energy. It’s all marked by glowing memories and the desire to return to them in a palpable way. There’s nostalgia in every brushstroke of those matte paintings, and every bit of the film’s composition.
I could go on, but the summary judgment for the best franchise that never existed is already in: Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is a kaleidoscope of pure emotion and creative passion that needs to be seen on the big screen post-haste. If you get the chance to see it on one, don’t hesitate to take it.
Reviews
‘Urban Legends: Final Cut’ (2000) Review
If film school wasn’t scary enough because of incel film-bros and awful thesis projects, a serial killer is now hunting down film students! As a former film student, that’s scary! Or is it? Urban Legends: Final Cut is decidedly not frightening. In fact, it’s barely quantifiable as horror. However, if you’re wanting some late 90s-Y2K slice-and-dicing, you’ve come to the right place.
More similar to the Scream franchise than the first Urban Legend, Final Cut maintains its academic setting, switching over this time to a film academy. A group of tight-knit co-eds are hard at work on their Senior projects. Each is vying for the prestigious Hitchcock Award, which would guarantee feature funding, alongside Hollywood stardom! However, when a fencing-masked serial killer starts taking them out one-by-one, it becomes clear someone would kill to make it big. The movie is a ton of fun, with really intelligent meta-humor and a surprisingly complex mystery.
Urban Legends: Final Cut is Meta-Slashing Done Right
Meta-slashers are old news in 2026-definitely no doubt about that! However, coming out the same year as Scream 3, one has to respect Urban Legends: Final Cut on its multiple layers. Making the first film basically an “urban legend” in this movie is a really fun concept.
Having our final girl, Amy (Jennifer Morrison), make a student-film version of the original Urban Legend is additionally really inventive. The movie has an awareness of slashers and horror movies like Scream, but its nerdiness feels like it overpowers the full-on story. It boasts a really complicated mystery!
The film works as a comedic, suspenseful whodunit, while having a lot of fun with its set pieces. Its setting is also not just a random change-of-pace. Its mystery (without spoiling) is intertwined with the concept of student filmmaking, with every little joke and jab having some connection to the overarching mystery. Understandable why horror fans may have been disappointed, but still, its mystery is top-notch, albeit with some predictable outcomes.
What is interesting is how tonally the movie feels much more in line with Scream than Urban Legend. It has no dark academia creeps, but visually it is a poppier, more pop-corny horror flick. The characters are all a little cartoonish, and its plethora of solid film industry jokes (that land maybe 60% of the time…?) make it really light viewing. For this critic, it’s a positive. However, that might not be a total positive for fans of the first.
A Franchise Done Dirty
Subjectively, this is a movie that really works. However, objectively, it is really frustrating as a franchise film. On its own, Final Cut sustains itself as a really fun meta-whodunit. However, as a sequel to Urban Legend? It’s totally baffling.
The biggest crime of this movie is that it is a sequel with no reason in being such. It only vaguely connects to the first film, and more importantly…HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH URBAN LEGENDS! The idea that the first movie is an urban legend is really clever! However, the first movie had nothing to do with the film industry! They could have at least played into some film urban legends, like with the skeletons in Poltergeist or the deaths surrounding The Omen or The Exorcist, but no. It really squandered this clear opportunity to make a throughline between meta film humor and urban legends.
Additionally, the movie is far from perfect outside of its franchise follies. For one, and this is a total nitpick and gripe, the killer mask. The fencing mask is pretty baffling, and feels really disconnected. Why not give him camera lenses for eyes? Or any kind of classic film monster mask? It’s a film school, so the opportunities should be endless for mask design. Additionally, a lot of the humor is kind of outdated, but that’s to be expected from an early-2000s horror flick.
Slasher 101
This might not matter at all to the casual viewer, but the film has a really good understanding of film school. It’s accurate in the production and environment of film school, even if it is heightened. This further lends itself to the commentary of the movie. Well, what commentary there vaguely is.
For all its silliness, the film covers a lot of issues of the film industry, particularly in academic spaces. Misogynistic film bros, toxic masculinity on sets, and nepotism are all topical social issues in the industry. The movie tackles social commentary as gracefully as a 2000s slasher-comedy can…which is just okay. But it still does it!
Urban Legends: Final Cut is definitely worth checking out. As long as you do not consider it a sequel. It is totally in a league of its own…for better or worse.


