Reviews
‘Addams Family Values’: A First-Time Watch Review
I have a first-time watch review of 1991’s The Addams Family in the books this November. With Thanksgiving coming, it was only right that I also take a look at its 1993 sequel, Addams Family Values.
Addams Family Values picks up about eight to nine months after the end of the original movie. I can pinpoint that because we first see Morticia Addams (Anjelica Huston) at the very end of her pregnancy. She swiftly gives birth to mustachioed baby Pubert (Kaitlyn and Kristen Hooper). As she and Gomez (Raul Julia) dote on Pubert, their children Wednesday (Christina Ricci) and Pugsley (Jimmy Workman) grow jealous. Enter Debbie Jellinsky (Joan Cusack), a black widow murderess with her eye on Gomez’s brother Fester (Christopher Lloyd). As the children are shuttled off to camp, Debbie weds Fester and finds him resolutely unkillable, despite her best attempts.
Is Addams Family Values a Worthwhile Sequel?
Having now grappled with my bafflement at what the Addams family’s deal is, I have come to appreciate them. Unfortunately, this epiphany came at the wrong time. I’m sorry to say it, but Addams Family Values does not find them at their best.
For one thing, the screenplay (by Paul Rudnick, replacing Caroline Thompson and Larry Wilson) is too keen to indulge in trite sitcom setups. It strikes me that the whole point of putting the Addamses into sitcom scenes is subverting them with macabre jokes. However, for the majority of the “double date” and “new baby” plotlines, for instance, they just… don’t. You’re telling me that Gomez and Morticia wouldn’t encourage their children to drop Pubert from the roof? In the last movie, Morticia replaced Wednesday’s knife with a medieval ax, the better to chase Pugsley with! Although there are still plenty of ooky punchlines to be had, there simply aren’t enough. The characters are bent so far out of shape to fit the needs of the plot that they just break. Morticia and Gomez especially barely resemble themselves for the majority of the film.
It lacks the bite of the previous movie’s screenplay, give or take a sequence like Wednesday’s Thanksgiving musical takeover. But perhaps the biggest sin the screenplay commits is leaning on Uncle Fester as its lynchpin again. That was the most glaring flaw of the 1991 movie, but here it’s even worse. The way it’s laid out siloes the characters off into three distinct movies of wildly varying quality. Also, speaking just to personal taste, I find that Fester’s flop-sweat drenched broad comedy gives him a repulsive screen presence.
Naturally, this speaks to how perfectly Christopher Lloyd is bringing the character to life, so I won’t complain about that. But still. No thank you.
Does Addams Family Values Hold Up On Its Own Merits?
Of course, what I can’t knock about Fester’s storyline is that it allows us access to pure, uncut Joan Cusack. She fits perfectly into the cartoon world of the Addams family, by taking the exact opposite approach. She is pure, oozing villainy wrapped in candy colors, whereas they’re a loving family wearing their ookiness on their sleeves.
As Joan Cusack’s electric performance proves, Addams Family Values takes after its predecessor in at least one major way. With both returning cast members and newcomers, it continues to shine a light on some of the 1990s’ best female comedy performers. Alongside Cusack, we also have a delectable performance from Dame Christine Baranski as a tooth-gnashingly peppy camp counselor. Another newcomer is the ever-delightful Carol Kane, stepping in for Judith Malina as Grandmama. She gets the least to do, but nails the hell out of her showcase moments.
The returning stars also shine. Anjelica Huston might be sidelined in this movie, but she makes every moment count. The movie itself warps around her grandeur, in fact. The cinematography gives her exaggerated, vampy eyelight in literally every shot, even those she shares with co-stars. But she shines even without the help of her exaggerated gothic aesthetic. One of the best scenes in the movie simply involves Morticia reluctantly but lovingly reading Dr. Seuss to Pubert. In that small moment, she communicates so much about Morticia’s relationship to motherhood that elevates an already funny scene. Christina Ricci also brings her A-game once again. Particularly in a scene where Wednesday slowly delivers one of the most radiantly creepy smiles ever committed to celluloid.
A Funny but Flawed Sequel
Addams Family Values ain’t all bad, is what I’m saying. Not living up to The Addams Family isn’t a crime. That said, it does have other flaws that the original movie couldn’t have dreamed of in its wildest nightmares. Only one of the newly introduced sets has the same feverish verve as the original’s production design. And the editing of Debbie’s final scene frankly sucks. It makes a hash of spatial geography that shouldn’t be possible in a major motion picture.
Also, I take back every mean word I’ve ever said about MC Hammer’s tacky rap song “Addams Groove.” Tag Team’s “Addams Family (Whoomp!)” haphazardly jamming the phrase “Addams Family” into their hit “Whoomp! (There It Is)” is… troubling. It does things to rhythm and meter that should be punishable in all 50 states. It makes me want to go back in time and make sure human beings never evolved ears.
So, yeah. Ultimately, in my eyes, there’s no getting around the fact that Addams Family Values is a mixed bag. It has its moments, but it just doesn’t hit the heights that should have been well within its reach. If I ever had to watch two Addams movies in quick succession again, I’d just do the 1991 movie twice.
There are countless subgenres within subgenres for horror, and one that feels underutilized is workplace horror. Unless you’re one of the lucky few, most people wake up at some point during the day, go to work, and then come home. It’s one of the few things in life that’s nearly unavoidable. While there are countless real-life examples of workplace violence, seeing exaggerated forms of it in film can still be fun. When I pitched covering The Belko Experiment for this month, I actually thought I was pitching Joe Lynch’s Mayhem. I soon found out how incorrect I had been, but figured I’d go along with it anyway.
Mike Milch (John Gallagher Jr.) and 79 of his coworkers are locked inside the towering building they come to work in every day in Bogotá, Colombia. They’re given simple instructions: murder two coworkers within the next half hour. When they fail that task, coworkers’ heads start blowing up left and right. When they’re given the next task, kill 30 people in two hours, they take it…a little more seriously.
The Belko Experiment’s Brutal Premise Sets Up High Stakes
Written by James Gunn and directed by Wolf Creek creator Greg McLean, The Belko Experiment is a painfully by-the-numbers film that offers little more than a handful of entertaining kills. Its futile attempts at commentary regarding work/life balance or just how bad “faceless” upper management is fall so flat it’s comical. Nothing like multi-millionaire James Gunn telling me how awful it is to have to work a real job for a living. Great work. And its one-dimensional characters do little more than create a slight sigh of relief when they’re dispatched without regard.
A singular attempt at cleverness is broached from the beginning when we see a colony of ants in an ant farm on someone’s desk. Oh, look at that, these workers are nothing more than mindless ants! But any attempt at following that slightly clever idea is quickly thrown away. At one point, Barry Norris (Tony Goldwyn), the big boss in the office, attempts to group up who should and shouldn’t be killed; who has the most value outside of work. Gunn had the perfect opportunity to make Barry a deep and more sinister antagonist. If Barry had grouped people into sets from most to least profitable for the company, we would have something. It would show that Barry is a forward-thinking villain who is trying to suck up to the people who get paid even MORE than him!
Missed Opportunities for a Smarter Corporate Villain
I’ll do you one better. After all of that, what if the bad guys that Barry recruited to help him cull his subordinates realized they were just pawns in the game of Big Business? So then they attempt to repent by killing Barry in the hopes that they can find a common means of escape from this hell? Why is there zero attempt at making an interesting story other than this shitty, watered-down Battle Royale with people we don’t give a shit about? Instead of anything interesting, we’re just given a group of baddies who try to get into the security office’s gun safe. The only reason we’re slightly scared of the “bad guys” is because they’re bad guys.
The only slightly interesting performances we get are from David Dastmalchian and Adria Arjona, even if it might be a fluke. As someone who is a fan of Greg McLean and the Wolf Creek series, something just felt disconnected about nearly every aspect of The Belko Experiment. I’ve brought it up before that sometimes it’s okay to have a film that doesn’t tell a great story as long as the kills can carry some of the weight. But to say this film has a story is laughable, and that carries over to how flat this film looks.
Skip The Belko Experiment and Watch Mayhem Instead
It’s weird how sour this film left me. When I was watching it, I found myself grimacing at some of the kills. And I didn’t vehemently dislike it as much as this review would suggest. But as I sat there and thought longer, I just couldn’t wrap my head around what anyone sees in this. Mayhem is an all-around better film that tackles this same subject but in a much better way. So if you ever decide to sit down and watch The Belko Experiment, maybe go watch Mayhem on Shudder instead.
Would it be a month of coverage on Horror Press if I didn’t bring up at least one aughts film? I know the curator of all things Horror Press, James-Michael, is shaking his fists at the sky and cursing the fact that he approved me covering The Hitcher. Of all the remakes that were so pervasive throughout the aughts, The Hitcher is one that slipped completely under my radar. And that’s a damn shame. It wouldn’t be until I found a DVD copy at Bookoff that I finally got the opportunity to watch it. Hot damn, the critics really got it wrong here.
The Hitcher: A Road Trip Turned Nightmare
Jim Halsey (Zachary Knighton) and his girlfriend Grace Andrews (Sophia Bush) are on a road trip to Lake Havasu in Jim’s gorgeous Oldsmobile 442. An unfortunate run-in with a mysterious hitchhiker, John Ryder (Sean Bean), Jim and Grace find themselves in a fight for life and death. Only, John isn’t their only concern. With the 5-0 hot on their tails, Jim and Grace must escape from a psychopathic man with a death wish and the hot-tempered, hot-faced Lieutenant Esteridge (Neal McDonough). As the odometer grows, so does the body count.
The Hitcher is one of those remakes that does not have the approval of the original’s lead, Rutger Hauer. Which is astounding to me. Sure, the original is good. But it doesn’t set itself apart from the crowd too much. Rutger Hauer’s John is slightly more reserved, and while he has an edge to him, I don’t necessarily find him overly menacing. (Don’t kill me.) Sean Bean’s John Ryder, on the other hand, is furiously terrifying. There’s no question that there are tons of issues with the Platinum Dunes remake, though, for me, the pros significantly outweigh the cons.
Jim Halsey Falls Flat
The biggest issue is the character of Jim Halsey. I love how the roles of Jim and Grace are swapped from the original film. It brings an updated, modern edge to the film and is a great way to throw audiences who have seen the original. Though I can imagine the hyper-masculine fans of the original were not too happy with that. When it was decided to swap the roles of the characters, it seems like any character depth for Jim was thrown out of the window. I think Zachary Knighton is a wonderful actor who does the best with what he has, but he doesn’t have enough to work with. Writers Eric Red, Jake Wade Wall, and Eric Bernt updated the film with tons of epic scenarios and moments, while seemingly forgetting to make the supposed lead of the film interesting.
On top of cardboard Jim, the inciting police incident just feels very forced. Grace runs into a diner, covered in blood, after she and Jim found a family butchered by John. Someone from the diner calls the police, which leads to Jim and Grace being arrested and charged with murder. Whether or not that’s supposed to be commentary on rural police doesn’t matter because it completely fails to do anything other than forcibly push the story forward.
Besides that? I hate to say, but I don’t have many issues with The Hitcher.
Soundtrack and Atmosphere: A High-Octane Experience
First and foremost, The Hitcher’s soundtrack is incredible. We start the film with Move Along by The All-American Rejects. Talk about a shot of adrenaline. And the greatest needle drop in all of aughts horror history is Nine Inch Nails’s Closer during the film’s most wild car chase. It’s hard not to get lost in this film when the music kicks in.
What really sells this film is how intensely they handle the violence and the film’s gorgeous chase scenes. It’s no Death Proof, but these scenes are miles above the Fast movies that were out at this time. In a day and age where chase scenes are overly produced, badly edited, and just plain boring, The Hitcher manages to infuse horror and action in a way that probably won’t be seen again. Watching films like The Hitcher makes me sad for the state of modern cinema. The Hitcher wasn’t made to win scores of Oscars; it was made by people passionate about telling a badass, harrowing story (minus Jim). And they greatly excel at that.
The Hitcher Is a Misunderstood Cult Favorite
The Hitcher falls in line with my running theory of post-9/11 ultra violence. We were a nation scared of what happened, what was happening, and what seemed to be on the horizon–The Hitcher bottles that fear and anger, packaging it into a nasty piece of genre. Sean Bean and Sophia Bush are an on-screen match made in heaven. They wade through harsh lighting, thick film grain, and buckets of blood to deliver a film that critics and audiences unfairly panned. While audiences may have moved along, I sure didn’t. I want to exist in a world of nothing but aughts genre films, but am forced to live in a world of elevated horror. Le sigh.
