Movies
The Final Destination Franchise, Ranked
With this year’s Final Destination: Bloodlines threatening to bring a major horror franchise of the 2000s rushing back into the hearts and minds of the people, just when we need it the most, there’s hardly a better time than to look back at the franchise that was. The five-film series, which kicked off in 2000 with a movie adapted from an X-Files spec script and follows Death’s increasingly elaborate design to claim the lives of people who somehow avoided disaster, is one of the most thrillingly consistent franchises of the modern age, so this was a particularly tough ranking to hammer out.
With this year’s Final Destination: Bloodlines threatening to bring a major horror franchise of the 2000s rushing back into the hearts and minds of the people, just when we need it the most, there’s hardly a better time than to look back at the franchise that was. The five-film series, which kicked off in 2000 with a movie adapted from an X-Files spec script and follows Death’s increasingly elaborate design to claim the lives of people who somehow avoided disaster, is one of the most thrillingly consistent franchises of the modern age, so this was a particularly tough ranking to hammer out.
The Entire Final Destination Franchise Ranked
#5 The Final Destination (2009)
I have a chinchilla-level soft spot for The Final Destination, and it’s not just because of its extreme willingness to objectify male characters at the same level as the female characters, but even I must agree with the general populace on this one. It’s demonstrably at a lower level than the others. There’s no appearance by franchise stalwart Tony Todd (RIP), for one thing, and the questionable 2009 CGI is also incredibly damaging for a franchise that is primarily a delivery system for horrible onscreen deaths.
That said, there is something charming about the brutal efficiency of its storytelling. It’s painting in strokes so broad it almost becomes a fable, and it is still more clever than it gets credit for in its Rube Goldberg approach to Death, especially in the way that most people become undone by their own good luck tokens.
#4 Final Destination 2 (2003)
Final Destination 2 is definitely the movie in the franchise that I’ve flip-flopped on the most over the years. Its conceit, following Death tracking down people whose lives were saved by characters from the first movie who shouldn’t have been alive in the first place, is solid. Plus, it has that unimpeachable opening sequence with the 18,000 car pileup on the freeway.
However, there’s a lot of running around in circles between the death sequences that never amounts to much, A. J. Cook delivers one of the blander protagonist performances in a franchise that isn’t exactly known for textured and interesting leads, and the mini-premonitions she has during the main part of the movie are chintzy and goofy.
#3 Final Destination 3 (2006)
Forgive me for the inexcusable pun, but this one is a roller coaster ride. Mary Elizabeth Winstead delivers a solid leading lady performance, it’s downright nasty to its dead meat characters, and the “prophetic photos” trick is a fun way to get the characters involved in trying to stop their own deaths. This one also suffers from a severe lack of Tony Todd (he has a voice-only cameo at the theme park in the beginning), but at least it remembers that the franchise sometimes gives Death a theme song (“Rocky Mountain High” in the first movie, “Dust in the Wind” in FD5).
The one they chose here – “Turn Around, Look At Me” by The Lettermen – is maybe the most perfectly creepy oldies needle drop this side of “Tiptoe Through the Tulips.”
#2 Final Destination 5 (2011)
This miraculous sequel is not only deeply interested in ways to push the premise of the franchise forward (“take a life, steal their remaining time” is one of the most narratively satisfying approaches to giving the dead meat characters something to do), it also contains some of the best pre-death sequences in the franchise. Every installment has at least one terrific Rube Goldberg sequence where random events pile up into a violent death (the beauty parlor in TFD, the fire escape in FD2, and the tanning beds in FD3 come to mind).
Still, there has hardly been a better tension-building setpiece than the “sharp screw falling on the balance beam” scene in this movie. It harnesses the wicked glee that is always present in Death’s fuckery throughout the franchise, but it also captures the way that some of the most effective horror comes from the most mundane, everyday threats.
#1 Final Destination (2000)
It’s very common for any ranking to have the first movie at the top, but frankly, I don’t know that this is the case for Final Destination. Because all the movies are so good, and the sequels are bigger and splashier (sometimes literally), the original 2000 installment can get short shrift. And sure, later on they found more ways to push the envelope of what is set up here, but it is set up so damn effectively.
What this movie lacks in the slickness of the sequels, it makes up for with brutality. Moments like seeing a strangled teenager’s veins burst in his eyes or the miserable way that Ms. Newton clings to life until she just can’t anymore during her kitchen misadventure have a profound power. This is by far the most emotionally excoriating installment in the franchise, where the weight of the deaths is felt by the characters in a real way, rather than just as yet another link in the supernatural slasher chain the movie is building.
The franchise’s ability to play on common real-life fears is also introduced with one of its brashest set pieces. That Flight 180 explosion is second only to Final Destination 2’s logging truck for lodging right in the back of your brain for the rest of your life.
For a ranking of our favorite deaths in the Final Destination franchise, click here!
Netflix did not give me a lot to work with this month. I may have also zoomed through many of my favorite things on the platform these last few months. So, many of these are titles I have been meaning to check out, and I hope they are worth the wait. However, I cannot promise the carnage, chaos, and confusion I normally provide for this column. This means you’ll have to forgive me for having less razzle dazzle and a little more uncertainty while I list some stuff off the less beaten path. Gather around, and I’ll tell you what I am trying to get into this March!
Archive (2020)
In 20238, George Almore’s newest AI prototype is nearly complete. However, this humanesque machine is also hiding one of George’s secrets that must remain hidden. While I love some British sci-fi and believe we should watch as many of the 2020 movies that slid under our quarantined radar, I’m pulling up for another reason. I want to see Theo James in something that isn’t The Monkey. Literally. I didn’t enjoy that movie, and I seem to be the last person I know who was unfamiliar with James before that. So, I’m trying to rectify that and see what he can do in anything else. Hopefully, after catching this on Netflix, I will have a new movie that comes to mind when he is mentioned. Fingers crossed, friends!
Green Room (2016)
A punk rock band gets trapped in a venue where skinheads want to kill them. So many people have told me this movie is worth my time, but because it’s always too soon for violent racists in this decade, I keep putting it off. However, I am so curious to see what Patrick Stewart, Imogen Poots, Alia Shawkat, and the late Anton Yelchin are doing in this movie. Green Room is also one of the few A24 horror movies that I have not seen, which makes it even more intriguing. While I doubt 2026 will calm down enough for this not feel too real, I think it’s time for me to be brave and cross this movie off my list already. So, I might have to grab a drink, a weighted blanket, and remote so I can open Netflix.
M3GAN 2.0 (2025)
Two years after M3GAN’s murder spree, she is rebuilt by her creator to take down a military-grade weapon made from her stolen tech. Is this movie as good as the original written by Akela Cooper? Obviously not. No one can do what Cooper does and we shouldn’t hold people to that very high bar. Is this movie way too damn long? Also, yes. However, was there still a lot of fun to be had along the way? I thought so. While M3GAN 2.0 isn’t the sequel we wanted, I’m happy to rewatch it for free at home. We lose a lot of the threads I loved in the first one, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t the new Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgement Day anyway. In a perfect world, Akela Cooper will reopen the computer (after receiving a very large check from Blumhouse) and give us a third installment to bring our dancing diva back into the horror fold.
Life After Beth (2014)
A man discovers his dead girlfriend is back, and that might be for the worst. I never watched this horror comedy, but I’m sad and hoping Aubrey Plaza can change that. After all, if she can’t wake us up after a long winter, then who can? I also imagine Plaza as a zombie is kind of great. Along for the ride is Molly Shannon, so between the two of them, I expect some chuckles and guffaws. Maybe the powers that be at Netflix knew we could all use a laugh, and that’s why this is waiting for us on the other side of February. Or possibly they wanted to apologize for that last season of Stranger Things. Or maybe it’s just a wacky coincidence, and I’m looking for meaning where there is none. Either way, I have a date with this movie, and you might want to check it out too.
Teen Wolf (2011-2017)
Getting bitten by a werewolf turns life upside down for a high school student and his best friend. Hear me out! I doubt there is a world where I will watch all six seasons of this. Hell, I doubt I’ll even finish the first season. However, I skipped this MTV moment when it originally aired. Which is why I didn’t know who Dylan O’Brien was when Send Help was announced. So, I’m using this Netflix account to see where he started now that I have seen him in something. You can join me in this or mark your time as safe and watch something else. I don’t blame you either way, and I hope you’ll respect my privacy during this adventure.
That’s what I’m doing with my Netflix account this month. Here is hoping April gives us more scary movies because some of us deserve it. Most importantly, I deserve it.
Shudder is still that girl even in March. Our beloved streamer is adding classics like The Fog and Messiah of Evil. They are also adding a couple of films that are precious to my generation, like May. The app always has an eclectic lineup, but this month is an embarrassment of riches. At least if you are like me, and looking at a list of movies you have had on your watch list forever. That is why it took me a hot minute to figure out which five titles should be this month’s priority. However, I cracked the code and think I have something old, something new, and definitely at least a couple of things that will turn blue. Check out what I am trying to see on Shudder this month. Also, be sure to let me know if you are as geeked about these titles as I am.
The Best Movies to Stream on Shudder This Month
The Last Horror Film (1982)
A New York taxi driver stalks an actress during the Cannes Film Festival. I love 80s slashers and have been on a quest to watch them all. This one has eluded me for a couple of years, and I am so happy Shudder is finally letting me cross it off my list. I am not expecting this to break my top 1980s slashers. I’m not even counting on it to be one of the best movies about a stalked actress of that era. However, I’m excited to finally see it for myself with an adult beverage in hand.
You can watch The Last Horror Film on March 1st.
Fade to Black (1980)
A film fanatic begins murdering people who betray him while stalking his idol. I finally caught this on Shudder in the last couple of years and will be using its return as an excuse to rewatch it. Very few movies cater to the slasher kids and film nerds as well as this one. Fade to Black is the kind of psychological horror comedy that is the reason 1980s horror remains unmatched. The costumes, the obsession, and the kills are the most fun you can possibly have on a Shudder Saturday. Do yourself a favor and hit play immediately.
You can watch Fade to Black on March 9th.
Hostile Dimensions (2023)
Two filmmakers travel through alternate dimensions seeking out the truth about a missing graffiti artist. This found footage film has been on my list for years, and I am so grateful that Shudder is finally letting me see it. I have heard so many great things, and the FOMO was killing me. Hopefully, Hostile Dimensions lives up to the hype. Otherwise, I have to ask my nearest and dearest to explain themselves and then stop accepting recommendations from them. Will it scratch the found footage itch I have this month? There is only one way to find out, and that is why I will be sat the day this drops on the app.
You can watch Hostile Dimensions on March 9th.
1000 Women in Horror (2025)
Women have been an integral part of the genre since Mary Shelley started thinking about Frankenstein. However, we do not always get the credit and respect we deserve. Which is why I am thrilled 1000 Women in Horror is celebrating the badasses who revolutionized horror films. Not only is the documentary opening the libraries for us, but it’s also bringing current faves along for the ride. Akela Cooper, Toby Poser, and Jenn Wexler are just some of the names I know who are about to inspire so many women to get serious about making their movies. I cannot stress enough how happy I am that Shudder is adding this to its lineup.
You can watch 1000 Women in Horror on March 20th.
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
College friends backpacking through Britain are attacked by a werewolf. As a werewolf film enthusiast, I know they are not all made equally. That is one of the many reasons why this is easily one of the best werewolf movies the genre has. The transformation alone is worth the price of a Shudder subscription. So, it shouldn’t come as a shock that this is one of the five titles I’m most excited to see this month. Hell, it’s probably in everyone’s top five to be completely honest. I cannot think of a better way to close this month out than with a top-tier werewolf flick.
You can watch An American Werewolf in London on March 31st.
I told you, Shudder is that girl. Whether you’re on spring break, taking a mental health day, or just dissociating, this app has got you covered. Make sure you dig into some of this sick, twisted, and cool cinema. As for me, I will see you next month with more recommendations.
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