Picture it: America, 1999 to 2001. Squeaky inflatable furniture and the whir of desktop computers filled our homes. Misogyny erupted in flames at Woodstock ‘99. Fear of computers crashing and planes falling out of the sky on New Years Eve was omnipresent. And teenage pop culture was becoming saturated with J-14 and Bop magazine triple threats. This mix of fear, anxiety, and raging hormones during the Y2K era provided horror with some much needed acidity. And coincidentally, the most notable ones all revolved around love, heartbreak, and lust!
This Valentine’s Day, let’s travel back in time. Pick up any of these tapes from your local Blockbuster or Hollywood Video and cozy up with a date! Here is your curated Y2K Valentine’s Day watchlist:
Lover’s Lane (2000)
13 years ago on Valentine’s Day, a maniac with a hook for a hand escapes from the local mental hospital and goes on a killing spree at Lover’s Lane, the town’s makeout-central. Teens think it is just an urban legend, until the murders begin. Directed by Jon Steven Ward, straight-to-video Lover’s Lane is actually a lot of fun, despite ripping off films like Halloween (1978) and I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997). The film is choc-a-bloc with Y2K fashion (hello, butterfly clips!), and the protagonist is a Nick Carter (Backstreet Boys) lookalike with bleached blonde ends, played by Riley Smith. Anna Faris is a natural stand-out as Jannelle in her first ever feature film role. Questionable dialogue and a brazen move by the town’s most popular girl resulted in bad aging, but The Worst Wig in Horror History slightly makes up for it. Giggle at the stupidity!
Lover’s Lane is available for rent on YouTube and Prime, and can be purchased on Blu-ray and DVD.
Cherry Falls (1999)
“Holy Hymans, Batman! They’re killing virgins!”
Directed by Geoffrey Wright and released by Rogue Pictures, Cherry Falls is bonkers. The film opens with a teenage couple being stabbed to death in their car by a leather-clad woman with long dark hair obscuring her face. The town’s sheriff (and father to the protagonist) and his investigators discover that each female victim has “VIRGIN” carved into their skin. Fearful for their lives, Cherry Fall’s teens, who appear to shop exclusively at J. Crew and the Gap and belong in a Starbucks rather than high school, seek out ways to lose their virginities. Rape and slut-shaming jokes are abundant, giving young viewers a peek into just how problematic the early-2000s were. Nihilistic, incredibly beige, and sour, Cherry Falls is not for anyone looking for levity. Thank god for Brittany Murphy (Jodie Markin) and her twink best friend! Hang on for the ride and be rewarded with a nasty twist.
Cherry Falls is available for rent on several services (free with AMC+) and can be purchased on Blu-ray, DVD, and VHS.
The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)
The Rage: Carrie 2 is misunderstood. Sure, it doesn’t hold a candle to the original. But this second installment overflows with teenage angst, and thankfully, offers something different for those bored with the late-1990s Scream formula. Directed by Katt Shea (Poison Ivy) and written by Rafael Moreu (Hackers), The Rage follows a new telekinetic teen: Rachel, played by Emily Bergl. Rachel deals with bullying, the death of her best friend (Mena Suvari), homophobia, and love amidst the growth of her telekinetic powers. According to Fangoria (2021), “Before it was The Rage: Carrie 2, it was The Curse, an angry, impassioned reaction to a real-life incident. In 1993, a group of high school boys from Lakewood, California, known as the Spur Posse, engaged in a series of heinous acts of sexual violence, including the boys’ use of a point system to compare their sexual exploits.” Despite this dark subject matter, The Rage is a sympathetic story. I believe it to be a worthy sequel to De Palma’s masterpiece. And what a cathartic climax!
The Rage: Carrie 2 is available for streaming on several services and can be purchased on Blu-ray, DVD, and VHS.
Idle Hands (1999)
Idle hands are the Devil’s play-things.
Light up with your crush and dive into the madcap Idle Hands! It has been several days since Anton’s parents have gone missing, unbeknownst to the lazy stoner. Anton, played by teen heartthrob Devon Sawa, soon discovers it was he, specifically his hand, that has become possessed and murderous. Watch as Anton and his grotesquely undead friends try to reign in the demonic hand as he pines for the cute girl-next-door, Molly (Jessica Alba). Directed by Rodman Flender (Leprechaun 2) and also starring Vivica A. Fox and Seth Green, this horror comedy with a killer soundtrack is sure to be a sweet treat this Valentine’s Day.
Idle Hands is available for rent on several services and can be purchased on Blu-ray, DVD, and VHS.
Valentine (2001)
Valentine opens with Jeremy Melton, a nerdy boy who is humiliated and beaten by his classmates at a junior high Valentine’s Day dance. After being wrongly accused of sexual assault, the boy is sent to a state-run mental facility. The bullies and bystanders must reckon with their pasts when they begin receiving threatening Valentine’s Day cards and being systematically killed by an assailant in a cherubic Cupid mask. Directed by Jamie Blanks (Urban Legend), Valentine is a typical post-Scream slasher but with an incredibly stacked cast: David Boreanaz (Buffy, the Vampire Slayer; Angel), Denise Richards (Wild Things, Drop Dead Gorgeous), Katherine Heigl (Bride of Chucky, Roswell), Mary Shelton (Sugar & Spice, Scream 4), and Jessica Cauffiel (Legally Blonde, Urban Legends: Final Cut). Like Idle Hands, expect some gritty 2000s nu metal throughout. Valentine will surely inspire you to make your own sweet (or sour) Valentine’s Day cards this year!
Valentine is available for rent on several services and can be purchased on Blu-ray, DVD, and VHS.