Movies
Bloody Hearts & Sweethearts: Your Y2K Valentine’s Day Watchlist
This Valentine’s Day, let’s travel back in time. Pick up any of these tapes from your local Blockbuster or Hollywood Video and cozy up with a date! Here is your curated Y2K Valentine’s Day watchlist.
Picture it: America, 1999 to 2001. Squeaky inflatable furniture and the whir of desktop computers filled our homes. Misogyny erupted in flames at Woodstock ‘99. Fear of computers crashing and planes falling out of the sky on New Years Eve was omnipresent. And teenage pop culture was becoming saturated with J-14 and Bop magazine triple threats. This mix of fear, anxiety, and raging hormones during the Y2K era provided horror with some much needed acidity. And coincidentally, the most notable ones all revolved around love, heartbreak, and lust!
This Valentine’s Day, let’s travel back in time. Pick up any of these tapes from your local Blockbuster or Hollywood Video and cozy up with a date! Here is your curated Y2K Valentine’s Day watchlist:
Lover’s Lane (2000)
13 years ago on Valentine’s Day, a maniac with a hook for a hand escapes from the local mental hospital and goes on a killing spree at Lover’s Lane, the town’s makeout-central. Teens think it is just an urban legend, until the murders begin. Directed by Jon Steven Ward, straight-to-video Lover’s Lane is actually a lot of fun, despite ripping off films like Halloween (1978) and I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997). The film is choc-a-bloc with Y2K fashion (hello, butterfly clips!), and the protagonist is a Nick Carter (Backstreet Boys) lookalike with bleached blonde ends, played by Riley Smith. Anna Faris is a natural stand-out as Jannelle in her first ever feature film role. Questionable dialogue and a brazen move by the town’s most popular girl resulted in bad aging, but The Worst Wig in Horror History slightly makes up for it. Giggle at the stupidity!
Lover’s Lane is available for rent on YouTube and Prime, and can be purchased on Blu-ray and DVD.
Cherry Falls (1999)
“Holy Hymans, Batman! They’re killing virgins!”
Directed by Geoffrey Wright and released by Rogue Pictures, Cherry Falls is bonkers. The film opens with a teenage couple being stabbed to death in their car by a leather-clad woman with long dark hair obscuring her face. The town’s sheriff (and father to the protagonist) and his investigators discover that each female victim has “VIRGIN” carved into their skin. Fearful for their lives, Cherry Fall’s teens, who appear to shop exclusively at J. Crew and the Gap and belong in a Starbucks rather than high school, seek out ways to lose their virginities. Rape and slut-shaming jokes are abundant, giving young viewers a peek into just how problematic the early-2000s were. Nihilistic, incredibly beige, and sour, Cherry Falls is not for anyone looking for levity. Thank god for Brittany Murphy (Jodie Markin) and her twink best friend! Hang on for the ride and be rewarded with a nasty twist.
Cherry Falls is available for rent on several services (free with AMC+) and can be purchased on Blu-ray, DVD, and VHS.
The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)
The Rage: Carrie 2 is misunderstood. Sure, it doesn’t hold a candle to the original. But this second installment overflows with teenage angst, and thankfully, offers something different for those bored with the late-1990s Scream formula. Directed by Katt Shea (Poison Ivy) and written by Rafael Moreu (Hackers), The Rage follows a new telekinetic teen: Rachel, played by Emily Bergl. Rachel deals with bullying, the death of her best friend (Mena Suvari), homophobia, and love amidst the growth of her telekinetic powers. According to Fangoria (2021), “Before it was The Rage: Carrie 2, it was The Curse, an angry, impassioned reaction to a real-life incident. In 1993, a group of high school boys from Lakewood, California, known as the Spur Posse, engaged in a series of heinous acts of sexual violence, including the boys’ use of a point system to compare their sexual exploits.” Despite this dark subject matter, The Rage is a sympathetic story. I believe it to be a worthy sequel to De Palma’s masterpiece. And what a cathartic climax!
The Rage: Carrie 2 is available for streaming on several services and can be purchased on Blu-ray, DVD, and VHS.
Idle Hands (1999)
Idle hands are the Devil’s play-things.
Light up with your crush and dive into the madcap Idle Hands! It has been several days since Anton’s parents have gone missing, unbeknownst to the lazy stoner. Anton, played by teen heartthrob Devon Sawa, soon discovers it was he, specifically his hand, that has become possessed and murderous. Watch as Anton and his grotesquely undead friends try to reign in the demonic hand as he pines for the cute girl-next-door, Molly (Jessica Alba). Directed by Rodman Flender (Leprechaun 2) and also starring Vivica A. Fox and Seth Green, this horror comedy with a killer soundtrack is sure to be a sweet treat this Valentine’s Day.
Idle Hands is available for rent on several services and can be purchased on Blu-ray, DVD, and VHS.
Valentine (2001)
Valentine opens with Jeremy Melton, a nerdy boy who is humiliated and beaten by his classmates at a junior high Valentine’s Day dance. After being wrongly accused of sexual assault, the boy is sent to a state-run mental facility. The bullies and bystanders must reckon with their pasts when they begin receiving threatening Valentine’s Day cards and being systematically killed by an assailant in a cherubic Cupid mask. Directed by Jamie Blanks (Urban Legend), Valentine is a typical post-Scream slasher but with an incredibly stacked cast: David Boreanaz (Buffy, the Vampire Slayer; Angel), Denise Richards (Wild Things, Drop Dead Gorgeous), Katherine Heigl (Bride of Chucky, Roswell), Mary Shelton (Sugar & Spice, Scream 4), and Jessica Cauffiel (Legally Blonde, Urban Legends: Final Cut). Like Idle Hands, expect some gritty 2000s nu metal throughout. Valentine will surely inspire you to make your own sweet (or sour) Valentine’s Day cards this year!
Valentine is available for rent on several services and can be purchased on Blu-ray, DVD, and VHS.
Movies
The Best Horror You Can Stream on Netflix in March
Netflix did not give me a lot to work with this month. I may have also zoomed through many of my favorite things on the platform these last few months. So, many of these are titles I have been meaning to check out, and I hope they are worth the wait. However, I cannot promise the carnage, chaos, and confusion I normally provide for this column. This means you’ll have to forgive me for having less razzle dazzle and a little more uncertainty while I list some stuff off the less beaten path. Gather around, and I’ll tell you what I am trying to get into this March!
Archive (2020)
In 20238, George Almore’s newest AI prototype is nearly complete. However, this humanesque machine is also hiding one of George’s secrets that must remain hidden. While I love some British sci-fi and believe we should watch as many of the 2020 movies that slid under our quarantined radar, I’m pulling up for another reason. I want to see Theo James in something that isn’t The Monkey. Literally. I didn’t enjoy that movie, and I seem to be the last person I know who was unfamiliar with James before that. So, I’m trying to rectify that and see what he can do in anything else. Hopefully, after catching this on Netflix, I will have a new movie that comes to mind when he is mentioned. Fingers crossed, friends!
Green Room (2016)
A punk rock band gets trapped in a venue where skinheads want to kill them. So many people have told me this movie is worth my time, but because it’s always too soon for violent racists in this decade, I keep putting it off. However, I am so curious to see what Patrick Stewart, Imogen Poots, Alia Shawkat, and the late Anton Yelchin are doing in this movie. Green Room is also one of the few A24 horror movies that I have not seen, which makes it even more intriguing. While I doubt 2026 will calm down enough for this not feel too real, I think it’s time for me to be brave and cross this movie off my list already. So, I might have to grab a drink, a weighted blanket, and remote so I can open Netflix.
M3GAN 2.0 (2025)
Two years after M3GAN’s murder spree, she is rebuilt by her creator to take down a military-grade weapon made from her stolen tech. Is this movie as good as the original written by Akela Cooper? Obviously not. No one can do what Cooper does and we shouldn’t hold people to that very high bar. Is this movie way too damn long? Also, yes. However, was there still a lot of fun to be had along the way? I thought so. While M3GAN 2.0 isn’t the sequel we wanted, I’m happy to rewatch it for free at home. We lose a lot of the threads I loved in the first one, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t the new Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgement Day anyway. In a perfect world, Akela Cooper will reopen the computer (after receiving a very large check from Blumhouse) and give us a third installment to bring our dancing diva back into the horror fold.
Life After Beth (2014)
A man discovers his dead girlfriend is back, and that might be for the worst. I never watched this horror comedy, but I’m sad and hoping Aubrey Plaza can change that. After all, if she can’t wake us up after a long winter, then who can? I also imagine Plaza as a zombie is kind of great. Along for the ride is Molly Shannon, so between the two of them, I expect some chuckles and guffaws. Maybe the powers that be at Netflix knew we could all use a laugh, and that’s why this is waiting for us on the other side of February. Or possibly they wanted to apologize for that last season of Stranger Things. Or maybe it’s just a wacky coincidence, and I’m looking for meaning where there is none. Either way, I have a date with this movie, and you might want to check it out too.
Teen Wolf (2011-2017)
Getting bitten by a werewolf turns life upside down for a high school student and his best friend. Hear me out! I doubt there is a world where I will watch all six seasons of this. Hell, I doubt I’ll even finish the first season. However, I skipped this MTV moment when it originally aired. Which is why I didn’t know who Dylan O’Brien was when Send Help was announced. So, I’m using this Netflix account to see where he started now that I have seen him in something. You can join me in this or mark your time as safe and watch something else. I don’t blame you either way, and I hope you’ll respect my privacy during this adventure.
That’s what I’m doing with my Netflix account this month. Here is hoping April gives us more scary movies because some of us deserve it. Most importantly, I deserve it.
Movies
The Best Horror You Can Stream on Shudder in March 2026
Shudder is still that girl even in March. Our beloved streamer is adding classics like The Fog and Messiah of Evil. They are also adding a couple of films that are precious to my generation, like May. The app always has an eclectic lineup, but this month is an embarrassment of riches. At least if you are like me, and looking at a list of movies you have had on your watch list forever. That is why it took me a hot minute to figure out which five titles should be this month’s priority. However, I cracked the code and think I have something old, something new, and definitely at least a couple of things that will turn blue. Check out what I am trying to see on Shudder this month. Also, be sure to let me know if you are as geeked about these titles as I am.
The Best Movies to Stream on Shudder This Month
The Last Horror Film (1982)
A New York taxi driver stalks an actress during the Cannes Film Festival. I love 80s slashers and have been on a quest to watch them all. This one has eluded me for a couple of years, and I am so happy Shudder is finally letting me cross it off my list. I am not expecting this to break my top 1980s slashers. I’m not even counting on it to be one of the best movies about a stalked actress of that era. However, I’m excited to finally see it for myself with an adult beverage in hand.
You can watch The Last Horror Film on March 1st.
Fade to Black (1980)
A film fanatic begins murdering people who betray him while stalking his idol. I finally caught this on Shudder in the last couple of years and will be using its return as an excuse to rewatch it. Very few movies cater to the slasher kids and film nerds as well as this one. Fade to Black is the kind of psychological horror comedy that is the reason 1980s horror remains unmatched. The costumes, the obsession, and the kills are the most fun you can possibly have on a Shudder Saturday. Do yourself a favor and hit play immediately.
You can watch Fade to Black on March 9th.
Hostile Dimensions (2023)
Two filmmakers travel through alternate dimensions seeking out the truth about a missing graffiti artist. This found footage film has been on my list for years, and I am so grateful that Shudder is finally letting me see it. I have heard so many great things, and the FOMO was killing me. Hopefully, Hostile Dimensions lives up to the hype. Otherwise, I have to ask my nearest and dearest to explain themselves and then stop accepting recommendations from them. Will it scratch the found footage itch I have this month? There is only one way to find out, and that is why I will be sat the day this drops on the app.
You can watch Hostile Dimensions on March 9th.
1000 Women in Horror (2025)
Women have been an integral part of the genre since Mary Shelley started thinking about Frankenstein. However, we do not always get the credit and respect we deserve. Which is why I am thrilled 1000 Women in Horror is celebrating the badasses who revolutionized horror films. Not only is the documentary opening the libraries for us, but it’s also bringing current faves along for the ride. Akela Cooper, Toby Poser, and Jenn Wexler are just some of the names I know who are about to inspire so many women to get serious about making their movies. I cannot stress enough how happy I am that Shudder is adding this to its lineup.
You can watch 1000 Women in Horror on March 20th.
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
College friends backpacking through Britain are attacked by a werewolf. As a werewolf film enthusiast, I know they are not all made equally. That is one of the many reasons why this is easily one of the best werewolf movies the genre has. The transformation alone is worth the price of a Shudder subscription. So, it shouldn’t come as a shock that this is one of the five titles I’m most excited to see this month. Hell, it’s probably in everyone’s top five to be completely honest. I cannot think of a better way to close this month out than with a top-tier werewolf flick.
You can watch An American Werewolf in London on March 31st.
I told you, Shudder is that girl. Whether you’re on spring break, taking a mental health day, or just dissociating, this app has got you covered. Make sure you dig into some of this sick, twisted, and cool cinema. As for me, I will see you next month with more recommendations.


