Movies
The Blair Witch Franchise, Ranked
It’s found footage month here at Horror Press, and we couldn’t just let it go by without honoring what is perhaps the most influential elder statesmovie of the subgenre, 1999’s The Blair Witch Project. One of the most profitable independent movies of all time (it made $248.6 million off its roughly $750,000 budget – that’ll buy you a lot of Tamagotchis), the movie thrived off the back of one of the first and best viral marketing campaigns, in which a large number of people, many of whom probably lied about it later, were convinced that it was assembled from the last footage ever shot by a trio of film students who went missing in the woods outside Burkittsville, Maryland.
The Blair Witch Franchise Ranked
Given its profitability, it’s no surprise that The Blair Witch Project launched a film franchise. Admittedly, it’s a little sparse. You couldn’t start a baseball team with the Blair Witch movies, unlike some other horror franchises I could mention. Regardless, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a franchise in possession of the good fortune to last longer than two entries must be in want of a ranking. So that’s what we’re going to do!
As far as Blair Witch “canon” goes, there is a bunch of multimedia ephemera that we won’t be dealing with here. This includes the video games, the comic books, promotional documentaries beyond the original Curse of the Blair Witch, and the eight-part young adult tie-in novel series (which definitely deserves its own article).
#4 Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)
There has been something of a push recently to reclaim Book of Shadows as a Halloween III-esque aberration that nevertheless has something compelling to offer when considered separately from the franchise proper. Whether or not you agree with that (I personally don’t, but no matter), it is still the least Blair Witch-y of them all, necessitating placement at the bottom of the list.
For one thing, it lacks the found footage element, immediately shattering the reality of the original movie, which was still fresh in the public consciousness in 2000. The “reenactment of true events” line is a cop-out, it would have been cheaper and more effective to have made it found footage style. While Book of Shadows is an excellent time capsule of turn-of-the-millennium genre tropes and Gen X fashions, as well as providing a nostalgic trip back to Burkitsville, its tale of Blair Witch obsessives just kinda hanging out in an abandoned factory while vaguely eerie shit happens to them doesn’t benefit from being anywhere near the franchise it ostensibly continues.
#3 Blair Witch (2016)
You’re Next, and The Guest director Adam Wingard and writer Simon Barrett weren’t necessarily the obvious duo to make a Blair Witch movie. I think their entry, which follows a young man and his friends on the hunt for his missing sister, makes plenty of other not-obvious choices along the way, which is much to its benefit. It perhaps has a few too many ingredients thrown into the pot, but quite a few of them deliver a movie that will more than appease those who complain that not enough of the terror of the original BWP shows up onscreen.
It’s more modern and in-your-face scary, which is a totally valid approach to the material, especially for the aforementioned audience. However, it’s a little difficult to justify the droning score they use to try and highlight spookier moments, something that does take you out of the vérité feel of the thing, try as they might to make it sound like some sort of eerie diegetic haunted forest noise, hoping you won’t notice.
#2 Curse of the Blair Witch (1999)
This promotional documentary, created to emphasize the “reality” of the viral marketing campaign around The Blair Witch Project, is surprisingly effective. It walks a tightrope that many supplemental pieces in multimedia campaigns would tumble right off of in the future, offering material that enhances and deepens the experience of watching the movie without giving the game away or over-explaining anything. It explores the origins of the main characters and posits more possible sources of the Blair Witch myth, without actually committing to any single explanation. It’s also a parade of the kookiest 1990s eyewear you ever did see, which is a benefit in and of itself.
#1 The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Call it a gimmick, if you want. Complain about how “nothing actually happens,” if you want. But there’s something primordially effective about the original Blair Witch Project. Whether or not you approach it with the belief that it’s a real-life document (something that I’m fairly certain hasn’t happened this century), there is something potent and compelling about three totally believable kids getting lost in the woods and having their sense of security slowly crumble around them.
It’s viscerally real, and the stars at its center don’t get enough credit for convincingly portraying real-life people without any sense of cinematic polish or winking to the camera. Sure, it’s not going to deliver if you’re coming to it expecting a scare-a-minute roller coaster ride. But if you sit down with The Blair Witch Project ready to let it ooze revoltingly all over you with its low-fi VHS quality and urgent sense of how fucked up and dangerous the American woods can be, it’s a powerful, unforgettable experience.
Netflix did not give me a lot to work with this month. I may have also zoomed through many of my favorite things on the platform these last few months. So, many of these are titles I have been meaning to check out, and I hope they are worth the wait. However, I cannot promise the carnage, chaos, and confusion I normally provide for this column. This means you’ll have to forgive me for having less razzle dazzle and a little more uncertainty while I list some stuff off the less beaten path. Gather around, and I’ll tell you what I am trying to get into this March!
Archive (2020)
In 20238, George Almore’s newest AI prototype is nearly complete. However, this humanesque machine is also hiding one of George’s secrets that must remain hidden. While I love some British sci-fi and believe we should watch as many of the 2020 movies that slid under our quarantined radar, I’m pulling up for another reason. I want to see Theo James in something that isn’t The Monkey. Literally. I didn’t enjoy that movie, and I seem to be the last person I know who was unfamiliar with James before that. So, I’m trying to rectify that and see what he can do in anything else. Hopefully, after catching this on Netflix, I will have a new movie that comes to mind when he is mentioned. Fingers crossed, friends!
Green Room (2016)
A punk rock band gets trapped in a venue where skinheads want to kill them. So many people have told me this movie is worth my time, but because it’s always too soon for violent racists in this decade, I keep putting it off. However, I am so curious to see what Patrick Stewart, Imogen Poots, Alia Shawkat, and the late Anton Yelchin are doing in this movie. Green Room is also one of the few A24 horror movies that I have not seen, which makes it even more intriguing. While I doubt 2026 will calm down enough for this not feel too real, I think it’s time for me to be brave and cross this movie off my list already. So, I might have to grab a drink, a weighted blanket, and remote so I can open Netflix.
M3GAN 2.0 (2025)
Two years after M3GAN’s murder spree, she is rebuilt by her creator to take down a military-grade weapon made from her stolen tech. Is this movie as good as the original written by Akela Cooper? Obviously not. No one can do what Cooper does and we shouldn’t hold people to that very high bar. Is this movie way too damn long? Also, yes. However, was there still a lot of fun to be had along the way? I thought so. While M3GAN 2.0 isn’t the sequel we wanted, I’m happy to rewatch it for free at home. We lose a lot of the threads I loved in the first one, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t the new Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgement Day anyway. In a perfect world, Akela Cooper will reopen the computer (after receiving a very large check from Blumhouse) and give us a third installment to bring our dancing diva back into the horror fold.
Life After Beth (2014)
A man discovers his dead girlfriend is back, and that might be for the worst. I never watched this horror comedy, but I’m sad and hoping Aubrey Plaza can change that. After all, if she can’t wake us up after a long winter, then who can? I also imagine Plaza as a zombie is kind of great. Along for the ride is Molly Shannon, so between the two of them, I expect some chuckles and guffaws. Maybe the powers that be at Netflix knew we could all use a laugh, and that’s why this is waiting for us on the other side of February. Or possibly they wanted to apologize for that last season of Stranger Things. Or maybe it’s just a wacky coincidence, and I’m looking for meaning where there is none. Either way, I have a date with this movie, and you might want to check it out too.
Teen Wolf (2011-2017)
Getting bitten by a werewolf turns life upside down for a high school student and his best friend. Hear me out! I doubt there is a world where I will watch all six seasons of this. Hell, I doubt I’ll even finish the first season. However, I skipped this MTV moment when it originally aired. Which is why I didn’t know who Dylan O’Brien was when Send Help was announced. So, I’m using this Netflix account to see where he started now that I have seen him in something. You can join me in this or mark your time as safe and watch something else. I don’t blame you either way, and I hope you’ll respect my privacy during this adventure.
That’s what I’m doing with my Netflix account this month. Here is hoping April gives us more scary movies because some of us deserve it. Most importantly, I deserve it.
Shudder is still that girl even in March. Our beloved streamer is adding classics like The Fog and Messiah of Evil. They are also adding a couple of films that are precious to my generation, like May. The app always has an eclectic lineup, but this month is an embarrassment of riches. At least if you are like me, and looking at a list of movies you have had on your watch list forever. That is why it took me a hot minute to figure out which five titles should be this month’s priority. However, I cracked the code and think I have something old, something new, and definitely at least a couple of things that will turn blue. Check out what I am trying to see on Shudder this month. Also, be sure to let me know if you are as geeked about these titles as I am.
The Best Movies to Stream on Shudder This Month
The Last Horror Film (1982)
A New York taxi driver stalks an actress during the Cannes Film Festival. I love 80s slashers and have been on a quest to watch them all. This one has eluded me for a couple of years, and I am so happy Shudder is finally letting me cross it off my list. I am not expecting this to break my top 1980s slashers. I’m not even counting on it to be one of the best movies about a stalked actress of that era. However, I’m excited to finally see it for myself with an adult beverage in hand.
You can watch The Last Horror Film on March 1st.
Fade to Black (1980)
A film fanatic begins murdering people who betray him while stalking his idol. I finally caught this on Shudder in the last couple of years and will be using its return as an excuse to rewatch it. Very few movies cater to the slasher kids and film nerds as well as this one. Fade to Black is the kind of psychological horror comedy that is the reason 1980s horror remains unmatched. The costumes, the obsession, and the kills are the most fun you can possibly have on a Shudder Saturday. Do yourself a favor and hit play immediately.
You can watch Fade to Black on March 9th.
Hostile Dimensions (2023)
Two filmmakers travel through alternate dimensions seeking out the truth about a missing graffiti artist. This found footage film has been on my list for years, and I am so grateful that Shudder is finally letting me see it. I have heard so many great things, and the FOMO was killing me. Hopefully, Hostile Dimensions lives up to the hype. Otherwise, I have to ask my nearest and dearest to explain themselves and then stop accepting recommendations from them. Will it scratch the found footage itch I have this month? There is only one way to find out, and that is why I will be sat the day this drops on the app.
You can watch Hostile Dimensions on March 9th.
1000 Women in Horror (2025)
Women have been an integral part of the genre since Mary Shelley started thinking about Frankenstein. However, we do not always get the credit and respect we deserve. Which is why I am thrilled 1000 Women in Horror is celebrating the badasses who revolutionized horror films. Not only is the documentary opening the libraries for us, but it’s also bringing current faves along for the ride. Akela Cooper, Toby Poser, and Jenn Wexler are just some of the names I know who are about to inspire so many women to get serious about making their movies. I cannot stress enough how happy I am that Shudder is adding this to its lineup.
You can watch 1000 Women in Horror on March 20th.
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
College friends backpacking through Britain are attacked by a werewolf. As a werewolf film enthusiast, I know they are not all made equally. That is one of the many reasons why this is easily one of the best werewolf movies the genre has. The transformation alone is worth the price of a Shudder subscription. So, it shouldn’t come as a shock that this is one of the five titles I’m most excited to see this month. Hell, it’s probably in everyone’s top five to be completely honest. I cannot think of a better way to close this month out than with a top-tier werewolf flick.
You can watch An American Werewolf in London on March 31st.
I told you, Shudder is that girl. Whether you’re on spring break, taking a mental health day, or just dissociating, this app has got you covered. Make sure you dig into some of this sick, twisted, and cool cinema. As for me, I will see you next month with more recommendations.
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