Movies
The ‘Black Christmas’ Phone Calls Ranked From Terrifying To Also Terrifying
We ranked the most terrifying calls from Black Christmas (1974). They’re all terrifying, but the question is, which ones are the most terrifying? To get us in the festive spirit, I thought I’d rank the six phone calls the killer places throughout the movie. So kick back, put on some holiday tunes, pull out the bottle of sherry the house mother, Mrs. Mac (Marian Waldman), hid between the cushions of the couch, and come with me on a deeply disturbing journey. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fright.
“No Clare, that’s the Mormon Tabernacle Choir doing the annual obscene phone call.”
This is how casually Margot Kidder’s tart-tongued Barb treats the killer at the beginning of Bob Clark’s 1974 holiday horror masterpiece Black Christmas. Before the end of the movie, she will learn just how wrong she was not to take this particular obscene phone call seriously. As it turns out, the calls received by Barb, Jess (Olivia Hussey), Phyl (Andrea Martin), and their sorority sisters, are coming from a killer who has holed up in the attic of their sorority house. He only picks up the phone after he has committed yet another murder.
He never gets a name. He’s referred to by the characters as The Moaner, and by most fans as Billy (the calls do heavily imply that he is Billy, and that he has a dark backstory regarding something terrible happening to his sister Agnes), but he remains an amorphous, unknowable presence even at the end of the movie. Hell, he’s not credited, and he’s never even properly seen except as a shadowy figure with a single visible, staring eye. But the killer looms large over the movie as he picks off the main cast one by one, and this is largely because of the contents of the calls he places to the sorority sisters.
They’re all terrifying, but the question is, which ones are the most terrifying? To get us in the festive spirit, I thought I’d rank the six phone calls the killer places throughout the movie. So kick back, put on some holiday tunes, pull out the bottle of sherry the house mother, Mrs. Mac (Marian Waldman), hid between the cushions of the couch, and come with me on a deeply disturbing journey. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fright.
The 6 Phone Calls From Black Christmas (1974) Ranked
#6 Call 2 (Clare’s Death)
“Where did you put Agnes, Billy?”
While it’s creepy, this call pretty much sets the template for what the rest of the calls in the main body of the movie are going to be. It offers a little glimpse into a potential backstory for the killer, and showcases his seemingly inhuman ability to contort the pitch of his voice, playing multiple characters with such little space between them that they almost seem to be talking over each other. However, this call is much too short to put up much competition against the others, as Jess (wisely) hangs up on him after about four lines.
#5 Call 3 (Mrs. Mac’s Death)
“Please, stop me! Oh God, please!”
Call 3 is another shorty with some Agnes backstory, so it’s pretty similar to Call 2. But the fact that it starts with a plea for someone to stop him highlights the fact that the killer isn’t fully in control of his own faculties. If the killer himself desperately wants to stop his own reign of terror and isn’t able to, how the hell is anybody else supposed to do it?
#4 Call 5 (Phyl’s Death)
“You left Billy alone with Agnes!”
Call 5 isn’t exactly the creepiest of the bunch. It also mostly follows the standard “Agnes” script. However, it’s one of the more prolonged calls because it takes place when Jess is trying to help the police track where the killer is calling from, and it allows the killer the chance to show off his vocal calisthenics the most, and his one-man audio drama about two parents screaming at a shrieking child is quite a compelling and eerie listen.
#3 Call 4 (Barb’s Death)
“Just like having a wart removed…”
Call 4 does get a little repetitive, I’m not gonna lie. But that’s what makes the final line pack such a punch. The killer, in a hideously shrieking voice, repeats something that Jess’ boyfriend Peter (Keir Dullea) said earlier that night about her desire to have an abortion. While this line is partially meant to implicate Peter as a red herring, it is also a chilling early revelation to Jess that the killer has been nearby the whole time and overheard her conversation. She has no reason to trust her creeper of a boyfriend, but if only she had, she might have put two and two together and lived to tell the tale.
#2 Call 1 (Janice’s Death)
“I’m going to kill you.”
The first call the killer makes in the movie starts off innocently enough. Well, innocent on the type of scale Bob Clark’s later movie Porky’s might judge it upon. There sure is some judicious use of the “C” word, but at first, he seems like your typical down-home sex pest, attempting to shock his listeners with raunchy and sexually aggressive talk. Hence Barb’s comment from the beginning of this article. She’s a woman in the 1970s, she’s heard worse.
The call might be spiced up with some slurping and animalistic grunting, but for the most part, it’s run of the mill. Until the very last line, when he intones “I’m going to kill you,” with a sudden cold, casual clarity that is the total opposite of the manic, intense energy of the rest of the call. It’s not a warning, just a statement of fact. If the snowstorm outside didn’t already put a chill down your spine, this call sure will.
#1 Call 6 (Jess’ Death)
“…”
The final call of Black Christmas is by far the most disturbing because it goes unanswered. The movie ends with the police leaving Jess alone to rest in her room, assuming that the newly dead Peter was indeed the killer. Because of this, they are blithely unaware that the real killer is still lurking in the attic. Although we don’t ever see what happens to Jess because the camera cuts to an exterior shot of the house, the fact that the phone is ringing off the hook unheeded certainly implies that some awful fate has befallen her. The killer is continuing his ritual of placing a call after a murder, but now there’s nobody left to hear him after his bloody rampage.
The fact that the phone just keeps ringing while the credits roll in their entirety is the icing on the cake. There is no more story to be told here, for Jess, or for anybody else who we’ve come to know and perhaps even love over the course of the film. It’s a shockingly grim way to end a movie, and the shrill jangling of the phone, which gets louder and louder as time goes by, just keeps rubbing salt in the wound.
Movies
The Best Horror You Can Stream on Shudder in November 2024
Shudder knows the holiday season is hard, so they are coming out of the gates swinging. Who has time to fight with their family when there are days of new creepy content to watch this winter? Whether you are finishing the latest season of The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula, or checking out the five new Shudder Originals and Exclusives, that is just the tip of the iceberg for this beloved streamer. They are adding tons of throwback films, deep cuts, and international horror that I need in front of my eyeballs posthaste. Check out my top five picks below and know there is way more where they come from.
Shudder knows the holiday season is hard, so they are coming out of the gates swinging. Who has time to fight with their family when there are days of new creepy content to watch this winter? Whether you are finishing the latest season of The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula, or checking out the five new Shudder Originals and Exclusives, that is just the tip of the iceberg for this beloved streamer. They are adding tons of throwback films, deep cuts, and international horror that I need in front of my eyeballs posthaste. Check out my top five picks below and know there is way more where they come from.
The Best Movies to Stream on Shudder This Month
The Creep Tapes (Shudder Original Series)
The Creep Tapes will continue giving us glimpses into the mind of a serial killer who lures videographers to their doom with the promise of a paid job. Creep is one of the few found-footage franchises that I am obsessed with. Like many people, I had hoped Mark Duplass and Patrick Brice would give us another movie. So, I was pleasantly surprised they decided to make a series instead. Not only will we have the honor of seeing Duplass get weird weekly, but I also recently discovered that Josh Ruben will be in the building for at least one episode. My expectations are through the roof, but I think these weirdos (complimentary) will meet and surpass them.
You can watch The Creep Tapes starting on November 15th. New episodes will stream every Friday until the December 13th season finale.
Doc of Chucky (Shudder Original Film)
This Shudder Original is marketed as the ultimate account of the Child’s Play franchise. It charts the journey from humble beginnings to becoming the world’s most beloved killer doll. I am a Chucky stan account. So, I will run toward any documentary about Charles Lee Ray. However, this one is well-timed because Chucky was recently unjustly canceled after three killer seasons. Shudder is also adding all but the first film in the Child’s Play /Chucky franchise this month to mark the occasion. The streamer also has all three seasons of the show, which was the best horror series of the millennium. So, when we finish watching the documentary, we still have days of Chucky content in one place.
You can watch Doc of Chucky on November 1st.
Rita (Shudder Original Film)
13-year-old Rita flees a neglectful home and lands in a state-run orphanage. Her appearance gives the other girls hope as they believe it is a sign of a prophecy coming true, and they begin to plan their escape from their oppressive environment. This Shudder original is a fantasy film based on a tragic true story of brave orphans whose fight for survival led to a nationwide outcry for justice and reform. I expect to cry a lot while watching Rita. The holiday season is the appropriate time to do that, so the timing is immaculate. I also expect to fall into a research rabbit hole after watching because I am unfamiliar with this story.
You can watch Rita on November 22nd.
Tokyo Gore Police (2008)
A young woman in a privatized police force searched for her father’s killer while combating mutants. This movie came out in 2008, and I still have not seen it. So, I am grateful Shudder is allowing me to fix this oversight. It feels like Tokyo Gore Police will change my life and become my new personality. I am already rooting for this woman who is about to kick mutant ass in a futuristic Tokyo. Also, the fact that the trailer flags it as inappropriate and forces you to consent to watching it confirms this is about to be a moment. I cannot wait to check it out and stop being left out of the conversations.
You can watch Tokyo Gore Police on November 4th.
Tragedy Girls (2017)
Two death-obsessed teens decide to drum up content for their online show by murdering people and sending their small town into a frenzy. Tragedy Girls is one of the best horror comedies that has ever happened to me. What other movie has Alexandra Shipp, Brianna Hildebrand, Josh Hutcherson, Craig Robinson, Kevin Durand, and Jack Quaid on the cast list? I am still upset the rumored series fell through because I needed more time with the girls. This movie is one of the funniest, coolest, and most delightful slashers I have ever seen. It also holds a special place in my heart because I am forever begging for more Black girl slashers!
You can watch Tragedy Girls on November 4th.
Shoutout to Shudder for giving us a reason to be thankful this November! I plan to live on the streamer this month and soak up all the deadly fun. If my top five picks are not enough proof that you need to park it on the app, open Shudder and see the horrific wonderland for yourself.
Movies
The Paranormal Activity Franchise, Ranked
The iconic Paranormal Activity franchise began as a low-budget exploration of the Very Bad Thing that happened to Katie (Katie Featherston) and her asshole boyfriend Micah (Micah Sloat) over the course of a couple nights in their San Diego home, where they are being haunted by a demonic presence. However, after setting the world on fire both in terms of its reputation as a terrifying motion picture and a return on investment, the original 2007 found footage movie quickly expanded into a sprawling franchise that now includes multiple members of Katie’s extended family, more than half a dozen movies of varying quality, and a timeline that even Christopher Nolan would say was too complicated.
The iconic Paranormal Activity franchise began as a low-budget exploration of the Very Bad Thing that happened to Katie (Katie Featherston) and her asshole boyfriend Micah (Micah Sloat) over the course of a couple nights in their San Diego home, where they are being haunted by a demonic presence. However, after setting the world on fire both in terms of its reputation as a terrifying motion picture and a return on investment, the original 2007 found footage movie quickly expanded into a sprawling franchise that now includes multiple members of Katie’s extended family, more than half a dozen movies of varying quality, and a timeline that even Christopher Nolan would say was too complicated.
Need a primer on the lore behind the Paranormal Activity franchise? Check out our HORROR 101 article here!
The Entire Paranormal Activity Franchise Ranked
How varying is that quality, you ask? Well I’m glad you spoke up, because I happen to have the ultimate, definitive ranking of the franchise prepared for you right here, so why don’t we take a look…
#7 Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)
It’s hard enough for an installment to be a six-years-later, direct-to-streaming, continuity-light movie in a deeply interconnected franchise that used to have entries hit theaters like clockwork. Unfortunately, this movie made it even harder on itself by spitting on its own found footage conceit at every turn, haphazardly cutting to different, impossible camera angles and frequently incorporating non-diegetic music that breaks the reality of the franchise at every possible turn.
#6 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)
For six years, The Ghost Dimension stood as the purest example of how to misunderstand what to do with the Paranormal Activity franchise before Next of Kin came and ate its lunch. It largely ignores the franchise’s established characters and storylines in favor of nonsensical world-building slathered in a 3D gimmick that doesn’t work even a bit. However, it is set at Christmas, which does give it a little bump over Next of Kin, because one thing that almost every horror fan seems to be hard-wired to appreciate is a movie that can be used as subversive seasonal viewing.
#5 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)
Paranormal Activity 4 is goofy. The front-and-center use of an XBOX Kinect camera dates the movie something fierce, even more than the installments that are explicit period pieces. While it is the last of the “pure” Paranormal Activity movies, it ultimately suffers from severely diminishing returns and doesn’t seem to have an idea of how to continue the ongoing story of the franchise in a satisfying way, or one that makes all that much sense.
#4 Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)
While this is hardly an issue more than a decade after the fact, Paranormal Activity 3 is a case study in how disappointing a movie can be when all the good parts from the trailer end up on the cutting room floor before the finished product actually hits theaters. This installment is the hardest to objectively rank. The oscillating fan camera provides one of the best scare sequences in the franchise, certainly. However, the fact that the movie has so many conspicuously pulled punches should still count against it, and the finale sets up a narrative throughline that, while promising, never really pans out in a satisfying way in future installments.
#3 Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014)
The Marked Ones is proof positive that focusing on characters who aren’t related to Katie can indeed work out, if you can actually find something unique to do with them. It has a similar structure to the franchise outing Curse of Chucky, actively eschewing continuity until it reveals that it is very much in continuity, to the delight of many fans. However, with or without the franchise connections, the movie is a jack-in-the-box thrill ride filled with engaging characters that puts a unique spin on the franchise’s core premise and shakes some of the doldrums out of a series that was already showing its age at that point in its run.
#2 Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)
Paranormal Activity 2 is the platonic ideal of a Paranormal Activity sequel. It ups the ante considerably. More people in the house, more cameras, higher stakes (there’s a baby in peril). However, it still takes its time and utilizes the original movie’s patented slow, slow burn, not overindulging the audience with whiz-bang effects. It still primarily lets your imagination fill in the gaps of what’s going on in the lurking shadows of this suburban home.
#1 Paranormal Activity (2007)
Look, there’s a reason this movie made more money than a gym membership office on New Year’s Day. It’s extraordinarily effective at every single thing that it’s doing, from the small stuff, like presenting you with a believable suburban couple, to the big stuff, like setting Ouija boards aflame and chucking bodies through the air as you watch a series of seemingly minor unsettling happenings rip that couple apart before your very eyes. The movie is the ultimate home invasion, not only violating the ways we are supposed to feel safe in our own homes, but causing the very laws of physics, logic, and human behavior that govern that safe space to betray us.