Movies
The Entire ‘Saw’ Franchise Ranked
I know we are drowning in Saw content as we prepare for a tenth installment. It has been almost 20 years of traps, plot twists, confusion, and commitment to this chaotic franchise. Like many other horror nerds, I did a marathon to ensure I am over-prepared for the new movie. Like any other franchise sitting at 9 entries, it has had highs and lows. I think we should all share our rankings, and I’ll go first.
Ranking Every Saw Movie From Worst to Best
9. Saw 3D (Saw: The Final Chapter) (2010)
Where You Can Watch: Peacock and Prime Video,
Hoffman and Jill battle it out for Jigsaw’s legacy. Meanwhile, a man who lied about surviving Jigsaw is forced to play the game. This is the only movie in the series I have nothing nice to say about. They wasted Cary Elwes time. This movie is so focused on making sure things are flying toward the screen that it forgets what people come to the franchise for. On the bright side, it puts an end to Hoffman and Jill’s tenure in the series. Even though its ending is ridiculous with him popping out of a bag in the morgue and walking through the police station like the Terminator.
8. Spiral (From the Book Of Saw) (2021)
Where You Can Watch: Hulu
This standalone film sees someone new follow in John Kramer’s footsteps. I love Max Minghella, Samuel L. Jackson, and the 21 Savage song on the soundtrack. Seeing Jackson in a trap is also really cool. However, there’s not much else memorable about this one. The plot is predictable, our lead seems bored, and it has the biggest police procedural vibes of any movie in this franchise. While many other films walked the fine line between ACAB and CSI: Jigsaw, this one feels like a Michael Bay cop thriller from the 90s.
7. Jigsaw (2017)
Where You Can Watch: MGM+ and Prime Video
When bodies start piling up 10 years after Jigsaw’s reign ended, police suspect a copycat killer is terrorizing the city. This one tries to expand on Jigsaw’s cult, but Logan isn’t interesting or exciting. It also leaves me wondering why John would forgive the med student who mislabeled his test results (which led to him not getting diagnosed early enough to survive his cancer) but continue to punish everyone else for lesser offenses. I don’t care for any of the people (or their boring secrets) who are in the barn. This one forgets what makes the traps exciting by introducing lasers and a weird spiral-shaped blade inside of a funnel. A funnel that is specifically made to kill Mitch because John blames him for his nephew’s death.
6. Saw V (2008)
Where You Can Watch: Peacock, Prime Video, and Starz
Everyone thinks Hoffman is a hero aside from Agent Strahm, who believes he was assisting Jigsaw. This one frustrates me because we open with the man that killed Hoffman’s sister in a trap. However, none of the millions of detectives in this town investigates that odd coincidence. It also sets us up to see Strahm and Hoffman battle, but instead, we watch Strahm find clues to prove what he accused Hoffman of. Evidence that he does nothing with except stand next to as he dramatically reiterates what he said to Hoffman’s face at the top of the movie. I am also very annoyed with the five people stuck in Jigsaw’s house of torture. None of them were written to have common sense.
5. Saw IV (2007)
Where You Can Watch: Peacock, Prime Video, and Starz
Lieutenant Rigg is surprised to discover that he must now play the game to save his colleagues. This one gets major bonus points for opening with Jigsaw’s autopsy. It is a solid way to confirm that he’s really dead, and there will be no Scooby-Doo shenanigans. When they crack open his abdomen to discover another tape in his stomach, I am equally impressed and disgusted. I feel like we got too much of John’s backstory. However, I enjoy following Rigg as he embarks on this demented scavenger hunt across the city. This one also gets cooler each rewatch because you catch more lines that make it obvious Hoffman is up to dastardly deeds.
4. Saw VI (2009)
Where You Can Watch: Peacock, Prime Video, and Starz
Now that Hoffman has killed and framed Agent Strahm, he must finish carrying out Jigsaw’s wishes, which includes putting an insurance man through a gruesome test. This movie thinks Jill and Hoffman are interesting characters, but they do nothing for me. It even wastes the reveal that Perez is alive by giving her and two other people the most uninspired and avoidable deaths of the franchise. However, seeing Jigsaw’s revenge on William (the insurance guy we hate) is fun. I love watching him get forced to choose who lives and dies among his colleagues after sentencing so many strangers to death over the years.
3. Saw II (2005)
Where You Can Watch: Peacock, Prime Video, and Starz
The police are racing the clock to save 8 people that Jigsaw has trapped in a house. I love this one because it shows us that John Kramer is really on another level. Do you remember the first time your jaw dropped when you found out the footage of the people trapped in a house was pre-recorded? Do you remember screaming when the safe opened and we discovered Detective Matthews’ son had been with them the whole time? Let’s not forget this is also when we realize Amanda is in the cult of Jigsaw. No other movie in the franchise has so many reveals stacked on top of each other. Also, the needle pit scene still lives rent-free in so many of our minds today.
2. Saw III (2006)
Where You Can Watch: Peacock, Prime Video, and Starz
Jigsaw kidnaps a doctor for an unorthodox surgery as he and Amanda put a man through a gruesome test. This one dares to kill Jigsaw and then ends on a cliffhanger. That’s the boldest thing I have seen from the third installment of a franchise since Halloween III: Season Of The Witch forgot we were there for Michael Myers. Jeff and Lynn are interesting (even if their marriage is a predictable plot twist), but the sequence of deaths that are ignited when they reunite is a thing of art. Finding out how far Jigsaw will go to test those closest to him is also a thing of beauty and what the fuckery.
1. Saw (2004)
Where You Can Watch: Peacock, Prime Video, and Starz
Two strangers wake up in a room only to discover they are about to play a very sadistic game. While we have some fun traps, gruesome kills, and good times with some of the sequels, nothing has ever fully captured the feeling of the first movie. Give me Cary Elwes and Leigh Whannell chained in the dirtiest room on Earth any day. This is the one that kept me on the edge of my seat. The tension was palpable as we all waited for the inevitable saw to finally get used. This one effortlessly serves us all the stress, drama, and chaos that many of the sequels struggle with. It also forever changed what my generation thought we knew about body horror.
Movies
The Conjuring Movies, Ranked
The theme for this month here at Horror Press is “Based on a True Story,” and in my eyes, no franchise better encapsulates the core tenet of that corner of the horror genre than The Conjuring Universe. Let me be very clear: the tenet in question is “This is based on abject lies made by charlatans, but someone wrote a book about it, so it counts,” but nothing wields that approach with quite as much gusto as James Wan’s 2013 movie The Conjuring and the nine-film franchise it spawned. Eight-film franchise, if you don’t count The Curse of La Llorona. But Annabelle is in it, and the guy who directed it somehow conned his way into helming two of the three proper Conjuring movies that followed, meaning he has directed more of these things than James Wan himself.
The theme for this month here at Horror Press is “Based on a True Story,” and in my eyes, no franchise better encapsulates the core tenet of that corner of the horror genre than The Conjuring Universe. Let me be very clear: the tenet in question is “This is based on abject lies made by charlatans, but someone wrote a book about it, so it counts,” but nothing wields that approach with quite as much gusto as James Wan’s 2013 movie The Conjuring and the nine-film franchise it spawned. Eight-film franchise, if you don’t count The Curse of La Llorona. But Annabelle is in it, and the guy who directed it somehow conned his way into helming two of the three proper Conjuring movies that followed, meaning he has directed more of these things than James Wan himself, so I say it counts, dammit.
Anyway, did I mention we’re ranking these movies? Grab your crucifix and make sure those shadowy corners behind you are cleared of demonic nuns, and then we’ll be ready to rock.
The Entire Conjuring Franchise Ranked
#9 The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)
This is the first Conjuring without James Wan in the director’s chair, and you can feel it. The precarious balance of a love story about aging with a Catholic mysticism-inflected legal drama requires his deft touch, and it doesn’t get it, leaving this movie as something of an illegible mess.
#8 The Nun II (2023)
Speaking of illegible messes… Michael Chaves’ follow-up to The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (Why did they hand him the keys to the entire franchise, spinoffs and all? Who knows. I’d love to read the tell-all.) is The Nun II. This flavorless slog is only saved from being at the bottom of the list by a deliciously unhinged moment in the finale (Spoiler alert: The real hero of the movie is transubstantiation).
#7 The Curse of La Llorona (2019)
The Curse of La Llorona is the first of its kind. A big-budget Hollywood movie had never been made about La Llorona before. And frankly, it still hasn’t, because this movie makes a hash of her legend. Since when is she like… repelled by the tree that was nearby when she drowned her kids or whatever? What could have been a righteous force of angry dissent against patriarchy and colonization is converted into another boring haunted house jack-in-the-box ghostie. Linda Cardellini is great at screaming, though, somebody get her some Throat Coat, stat.
#6 Annabelle (2014)
The soft spot I have for the supremely dopey Annabelle was only enough to get it placed at No. 6. It’s still just not a very good movie, y’all, and it wastes Alfre Woodard, which is high treason as far as I’m concerned. However, the broad field of references from which it is exuberantly pulling (the Manson Family, Rosemary’s Baby, Mario Bava’s Shock, the list goes on and on) keeps you on your toes as it spins its daffy tale of parenting and terror.
#5 The Nun (2018)
The Nun is absolutely choked with gloomy atmosphere, but it’s just a random assortment of fright gags tossed everywhere. And unfortunately, none of them match the raw, unnerving power of the titular entity’s debut appearance in The Conjuring 2.
#4 Annabelle: Creation (2017)
It could maybe cool it on how many different manifestations the demon has, and it’s a bit over-reliant on CGI. However, director David F. Sandberg has pulled off the impossible, dragging this trashy subfranchise kicking and screaming toward the gliding, eerie aesthetic of the salad days of the flagship Conjuring movies.
#3 Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
Annabelle: Creation seems to enjoy the best reputation of the subfranchise, probably because people hated Annabelle so much that it felt like a breath of fresh air. But Annabelle Comes Home is full to bursting with sleepover movie energy. It’s probably the least “scary” Conjuring movie, but the sheer funhouse glee with which it throws every possible creepy crawly and ghoulie ghosty your way is hard to deny.
#2 The Conjuring 2 (2016)
James Wan sure as hell knows how to repackage some of the hoariest tropes in horror cinema history and make them fresh and exhilarating by combining his ever-so-patient creeping dread with a handful of gnarly jolts. The screenplay of this one is kind of a shambles, and the movie is way too proud of its blunt-force foreshadowing. Still, it looks gorgeous, and any film with that creepy-ass scene where the little girl’s silhouette slowly morphs into the ghost of an old man in the background of one long, sustained shot simply can’t be all bad, or even mostly bad.
#1 The Conjuring (2013)
Remember what I said about James Wan and his tropes? There is absolutely nothing in The Conjuring that is new. It is The Amityville Horror with The Exorcist crudely grafted onto the back third of it. But by pouring every ounce of creative energy he has into some stellar scares and by hiring a cast that is more than capable of bringing the unusually well-shaded characters – yes, Ed and Lorraine Warren, but the Perron family as well – he is able to elevate what could have been pretty bland material in anybody else’s hands.
Movies
A Horror Movie Streaming Guide for Those Looking for More Ed Gein in Their Life
Ed Gein was known for exhuming bodies to take parts as keepsakes. He used some of the pieces to fashion clothing, furniture, etc. As with most serial killers, Gein also had an unusual relationship with his parents, specifically his mother. So, obviously, there is a lot to mine here when creating unsettling characters. This explains why many writers return to this personality to give actors unsettling moments even in the most unassuming movies. Looking specifically at Con Air’s Garland Greene (played by Steve Buscemi). This is wild because Buscemi starred in Ed and His Dead Mother as a guy named Ed with a bizarre relationship with his dead mom. The irony of a nice guy like Buscemi getting two attempts at characters based on the same serial killer is not lost on me. However, I digress. I am here today with four horror movies we saw way too young to connect to Gein’s horrendous legacy. Once you know these villains were inspired by a real and disturbing person, it makes you look at them very differently.
Hollywood’s ongoing fascination with serial killers is one of the few things we can count on as a society. With America’s interest in these monsters resulting in high demand for true crime content, it is easy to see why the subgenre remains bankable. While we see countless films about these infamous murders, I find the fictional characters inspired by them more interesting. This is why when I discovered that Ed Gein was the blueprint for some of our favorite killers, it made them even more disturbing. Gein, also known as the Butcher of Plainfield or the Plainfield Ghoul, is in the DNA of many characters most of us grew up watching.
Ed Gein was known for exhuming bodies to take parts as keepsakes. He used some of the pieces to fashion clothing, furniture, etc. As with most serial killers, Gein also had an unusual relationship with his parents, specifically his mother. So, obviously, there is a lot to mine here when creating unsettling characters. This explains why many writers return to this personality to give actors unsettling moments even in the most unassuming movies. Looking specifically at Con Air’s Garland Greene (played by Steve Buscemi). This is wild because Buscemi starred in Ed and His Dead Mother as a guy named Ed with a bizarre relationship with his dead mom. The irony of a nice guy like Buscemi getting two attempts at characters based on the same serial killer is not lost on me. However, I digress. I am here today with four horror movies we saw way too young to connect to Gein’s horrendous legacy. Once you know these villains were inspired by a real and disturbing person, it makes you look at them very differently.
The Best Movies Directly Inspired By Ed Gein
Psycho
Where You Can Watch: Netflix
A secretary steals a bag of cash from her job and hits the road. However, she unfortunately checks into the Bates Motel, where Norman Bates and his mysterious mother may pose a threat. Finding out Anthony Perkins’ character is based on Ed Gein changed my brain chemistry. This might be why Gein is one of the serial killers I actually did a little bit of research on. I figured the novel by Robert Bloch that the movie is based on was just super creative until I was a teen who realized Norma and Norman were based on Gein and his belief that he could rebuild his mother from various body parts he stole. He also planned to wear his “mom” suit in the moonlight.
Deranged
Where You Can Watch: Tubi
A rural farmer turns to grave robbing and murder after the death of his mother, whose corpse he keeps as a companion. The plot is loosely based on the crimes of Ed Gein and even exclaims it is inspired by true events and has only changed the names and locations. This marries parts of Psycho and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre with almost Coen brother humor. The late Roberts Blossom plays Ezra Cobb, our killer. He skins victims to make masks and also pulls other bodies to hang out with his dead mother. Jeff Gillen and Alan Ormsby directed this 1974 nod at Gein and does not get the same respect as the other films on the list.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
Where You Can Watch: Peacock, Plex, Pluto TV, Prime Video, The Roku Channel, and Tubi
Five friends road tripping through rural Texas stumble across a seemingly deserted house holding a huge secret. While Leatherface’s chainsaw and hometown are changes to the story, his love of wearing other people’s faces is very similar to Gein’s. Ed Gein is not the only serial killer this movie is under the influence of, but he is the one that stands out the most. After all, he also keeps his mother’s corpse on hand, so it is hard not to think of Ed. While this beloved title does take its fair share of liberties with the source material, it is clear that Tobe Hooper and Kim Henkel’s creation has many similarities to Gein. Which might explain why it still gets under our skin today.
The Silence of the Lambs
Where You Can Watch: Pluto TV, The Roku Channel, and Tubi
A young F.B.I. cadet works with an incarcerated cannibal to catch another serial killer who skins his victims. A lot can be said about the character of Buffalo Bill (played by Ted Levine). However, one thing we should all be able to agree on is that he is another character wearing the skin and hair of his victims. As a kid, most of us were not aware a real person inspired the serial killer they were hunting. As an adult armed with that knowledge, the film is even more chilling. The Silence of the Lambs is also one of the few horror movies to win statues at The Academy Awards.
While plenty of movies nod at Ed Gein’s unusual crimes, these four titles are some of the most interesting to do so. If you have already seen these, there is no shortage of media dedicated to this midwestern body snatcher. However, many of those titles are more direct in their approaches. That is not my cup of tea, but perhaps it is perfect for people who are fans of true crime.