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Ranking the ‘Alien’ Movies in a Way That Will Make Everyone Angry

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Full disclaimer, this article is 100% biased, and you are fully invited to fight over this ranking in the comments.

The best alien movie is Alien (1979).

Ridley Scott’s Alien is one of the greatest, most iconic movies of all time, and several key elements make Alien so timeless. 

First, Swiss artist H.R. Giger’s design of the Xenomorph purposely melds phallic and yonic imagery to create a terrifying creature that can impregnate basically anyone. The very concept of motherhood is divorced from gender all throughout the movie, which gives Alien a unique flavor of body horror while also subverting gender. 

Second, though the story is set far into the future, the technology available to these characters does not save them. In fact, the tech often endangers them. Their weapons are useless, and the ship often provides convenient hiding spots for the xenomorph. 

Finally, though the xenomorph is indeed very scary, the true terror of Alien lies in the infinite greed of Weyland Industries, the corporation that sends the ship off course in the first place. The crew is betrayed by their own computer (named “Mother”) and a fellow crewmate. The nightmare of Alien is that even if they survive the xenomorph, they don’t have a home to go back to. They have been sacrificed.

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The 2nd best alien movie is Alien Resurrection (1997).

The 4th alien movie, Alien Resurrection (directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet) is, from a thematic standpoint, the second-best Alien movie out there. PLEASE HEAR ME OUT. Putting aside the incredibly campy performances, the very dated Dutch angles, and the wildly oversaturated colors, Alien Resurrection picks up many of the threads laid out in Alien. The greedy corporation is now a greedy government – they do insane shit with xenomorph DNA in their unending quest to weaponize the lifeform. Their technology fails to contain the xenomorphs in spectacular ways, and the ship turns into an incubator for hundreds of newborn face huggers. Ripley is not quite human anymore, and she teams up with a gang of outlaw misfits as they all fight to survive. She shamelessly flirts with Winona Rider’s character Call (who is also not-quite human), and in the aftermath of the film’s events, the two are left to make a life of their own. The visceral nightmare of motherhood, especially the non-consensual kind, is at the heart of this story. Ripely expresses palpable anger at the system that co-opts her body in order to breed violence, which feels strangely relatable 25 years later. Alien Resurrection culminates around Ripley’s struggle to control a very violent, very slimy lifeform. It’s chaotic, it’s brutal, and it’s very, very gooey. 

The 3rd best alien movie is Alien3 (1992) – specifically The Assembly Cut.

David Fincher famously disowned Alien3, and who could blame him? The production was cursed long before the first-time director signed on. The Assembly Cut, released on DVD alongside the theatrical cut, is supposedly a better representation of Fincher’s intent, but mainly it just includes important context to the strange prison planet on which the 3rd installment is set. Alien3 is a difficult watch. Its pacing is a mess, and there’s a pervasive threat of sexual violence throughout the first half that I think no one needs to experience. The fluid gender dynamics in Alien and Resurrection are absent. Instead, we get a very binary situation where Ripley is specifically a woman, and it’s specifically her womanness that puts her in danger. This particular gang of misfits aren’t exactly sympathetic, which makes it difficult to care when they die. However, the abandoned prison colony setting does fit with the institutional violence present in the other Alien movies, and the lack of modern weapons and technology poses a unique challenge for the characters that the franchise sadly never revisits. The film’s final act is dark and intense. The ending gives us one last taste of cruelty from Weyland Industries, which pushes Ripley to reject motherhood in a very metal way. Alien3 is messy, but it tries.

The 4th best alien movie is Aliens (1986).

There are so many rich themes, motifs, and details that Ridley Scott sets up in 1979. There’s a genderfucked alien species and a genderless crew, an ominous all-powerful corporation, and a bunch of useless tech and weapons. But what does James Cameron do with these things in Aliens? NOTHING. Ripely is no longer a genderless crewmember, she’s a grieving mother (the only way to flesh out a female character, I guess?) who immediately bonds with a lost, traumatized child. Cameron introduces a queen xenomorph, making the characters specify that she is female. Cyborgs aren’t scary weapons anymore who sabotage on behalf of the corporation, they’re nice and helpful! There are lots of weapons, lots of bullets, lots of flamethrowers, and they sort of work! In fact, Ripley uses a machine at the end to fight off the queen xenomorph, setting up a literal Mom (Ripley) versus Bitch (the queen) fight, which feels so antithetical to the agender vibes of Alien. In Aliens, the prevailing source of tension comes from the battle between humans and xenomorphs instead of the oppressive weight of Weyland Industries. And though the corporation is ultimately revealed to be up to no good, we go into the movie expecting them to be shady, which takes the sting out of the film’s final twist. 

Compared to the deep, ominous shadows of Alien, the sepia-toned desolation of Alien3, or the green, gooey chaos of Resurrection, the aesthetics of Aliens feel empty and clinical. Many entries in the Alien franchise stray from the original blueprint (how do you think Prometheus or Covenant compare? Or the AvP movies?), but it’s Aliens that fundamentally misunderstands everything that makes Alien so iconic.

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Eli is based in Montreal and writes about indie and horror movies under the name Bad Critic. She is a Pisces.

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The Best Horror You Can Stream on Shudder in November 2024

Shudder knows the holiday season is hard, so they are coming out of the gates swinging. Who has time to fight with their family when there are days of new creepy content to watch this winter? Whether you are finishing the latest season of The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula, or checking out the five new Shudder Originals and Exclusives, that is just the tip of the iceberg for this beloved streamer. They are adding tons of throwback films, deep cuts, and international horror that I need in front of my eyeballs posthaste. Check out my top five picks below and know there is way more where they come from.

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Shudder knows the holiday season is hard, so they are coming out of the gates swinging. Who has time to fight with their family when there are days of new creepy content to watch this winter? Whether you are finishing the latest season of The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula, or checking out the five new Shudder Originals and Exclusives, that is just the tip of the iceberg for this beloved streamer. They are adding tons of throwback films, deep cuts, and international horror that I need in front of my eyeballs posthaste. Check out my top five picks below and know there is way more where they come from.

The Best Movies to Stream on Shudder This Month

The Creep Tapes (Shudder Original Series)

The Creep Tapes will continue giving us glimpses into the mind of a serial killer who lures videographers to their doom with the promise of a paid job. Creep is one of the few found-footage franchises that I am obsessed with. Like many people, I had hoped Mark Duplass and Patrick Brice would give us another movie. So, I was pleasantly surprised they decided to make a series instead. Not only will we have the honor of seeing Duplass get weird weekly, but I also recently discovered that Josh Ruben will be in the building for at least one episode. My expectations are through the roof, but I think these weirdos (complimentary) will meet and surpass them.

You can watch The Creep Tapes starting on November 15th. New episodes will stream every Friday until the December 13th season finale.

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Doc of Chucky (Shudder Original Film)

This Shudder Original is marketed as the ultimate account of the Child’s Play franchise. It charts the journey from humble beginnings to becoming the world’s most beloved killer doll. I am a Chucky stan account. So, I will run toward any documentary about Charles Lee Ray. However, this one is well-timed because Chucky was recently unjustly canceled after three killer seasons. Shudder is also adding all but the first film in the Child’s Play /Chucky franchise this month to mark the occasion. The streamer also has all three seasons of the show, which was the best horror series of the millennium. So, when we finish watching the documentary, we still have days of Chucky content in one place.

You can watch Doc of Chucky on November 1st.

Rita (Shudder Original Film)

13-year-old Rita flees a neglectful home and lands in a state-run orphanage. Her appearance gives the other girls hope as they believe it is a sign of a prophecy coming true, and they begin to plan their escape from their oppressive environment. This Shudder original is a fantasy film based on a tragic true story of brave orphans whose fight for survival led to a nationwide outcry for justice and reform. I expect to cry a lot while watching Rita. The holiday season is the appropriate time to do that, so the timing is immaculate. I also expect to fall into a research rabbit hole after watching because I am unfamiliar with this story. 

You can watch Rita on November 22nd.

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Tokyo Gore Police (2008)

A young woman in a privatized police force searched for her father’s killer while combating mutants. This movie came out in 2008, and I still have not seen it. So, I am grateful Shudder is allowing me to fix this oversight. It feels like Tokyo Gore Police will change my life and become my new personality. I am already rooting for this woman who is about to kick mutant ass in a futuristic Tokyo. Also, the fact that the trailer flags it as inappropriate and forces you to consent to watching it confirms this is about to be a moment. I cannot wait to check it out and stop being left out of the conversations.

You can watch Tokyo Gore Police on November 4th.

Tragedy Girls (2017)

Two death-obsessed teens decide to drum up content for their online show by murdering people and sending their small town into a frenzy. Tragedy Girls is one of the best horror comedies that has ever happened to me. What other movie has Alexandra Shipp, Brianna Hildebrand, Josh Hutcherson, Craig Robinson, Kevin Durand, and Jack Quaid on the cast list? I am still upset the rumored series fell through because I needed more time with the girls. This movie is one of the funniest, coolest, and most delightful slashers I have ever seen. It also holds a special place in my heart because I am forever begging for more Black girl slashers! 

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You can watch Tragedy Girls on November 4th.

Shoutout to Shudder for giving us a reason to be thankful this November! I plan to live on the streamer this month and soak up all the deadly fun. If my top five picks are not enough proof that you need to park it on the app, open Shudder and see the horrific wonderland for yourself.

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The Paranormal Activity Franchise, Ranked

The iconic Paranormal Activity franchise began as a low-budget exploration of the Very Bad Thing that happened to Katie (Katie Featherston) and her asshole boyfriend Micah (Micah Sloat) over the course of a couple nights in their San Diego home, where they are being haunted by a demonic presence. However, after setting the world on fire both in terms of its reputation as a terrifying motion picture and a return on investment, the original 2007 found footage movie quickly expanded into a sprawling franchise that now includes multiple members of Katie’s extended family, more than half a dozen movies of varying quality, and a timeline that even Christopher Nolan would say was too complicated.

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The iconic Paranormal Activity franchise began as a low-budget exploration of the Very Bad Thing that happened to Katie (Katie Featherston) and her asshole boyfriend Micah (Micah Sloat) over the course of a couple nights in their San Diego home, where they are being haunted by a demonic presence. However, after setting the world on fire both in terms of its reputation as a terrifying motion picture and a return on investment, the original 2007 found footage movie quickly expanded into a sprawling franchise that now includes multiple members of Katie’s extended family, more than half a dozen movies of varying quality, and a timeline that even Christopher Nolan would say was too complicated.

Need a primer on the lore behind the Paranormal Activity franchise? Check out our HORROR 101 article here!

The Entire Paranormal Activity Franchise Ranked

How varying is that quality, you ask? Well I’m glad you spoke up, because I happen to have the ultimate, definitive ranking of the franchise prepared for you right here, so why don’t we take a look…

#7 Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)

It’s hard enough for an installment to be a six-years-later, direct-to-streaming, continuity-light movie in a deeply interconnected franchise that used to have entries hit theaters like clockwork. Unfortunately, this movie made it even harder on itself by spitting on its own found footage conceit at every turn, haphazardly cutting to different, impossible camera angles and frequently incorporating non-diegetic music that breaks the reality of the franchise at every possible turn.

#6 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)

For six years, The Ghost Dimension stood as the purest example of how to misunderstand what to do with the Paranormal Activity franchise before Next of Kin came and ate its lunch. It largely ignores the franchise’s established characters and storylines in favor of nonsensical world-building slathered in a 3D gimmick that doesn’t work even a bit. However, it is set at Christmas, which does give it a little bump over Next of Kin, because one thing that almost every horror fan seems to be hard-wired to appreciate is a movie that can be used as subversive seasonal viewing.

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#5 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)

Paranormal Activity 4 is goofy. The front-and-center use of an XBOX Kinect camera dates the movie something fierce, even more than the installments that are explicit period pieces. While it is the last of the “pure” Paranormal Activity movies, it ultimately suffers from severely diminishing returns and doesn’t seem to have an idea of how to continue the ongoing story of the franchise in a satisfying way, or one that makes all that much sense.

#4 Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

While this is hardly an issue more than a decade after the fact, Paranormal Activity 3 is a case study in how disappointing a movie can be when all the good parts from the trailer end up on the cutting room floor before the finished product actually hits theaters. This installment is the hardest to objectively rank. The oscillating fan camera provides one of the best scare sequences in the franchise, certainly. However, the fact that the movie has so many conspicuously pulled punches should still count against it, and the finale sets up a narrative throughline that, while promising, never really pans out in a satisfying way in future installments.

#3 Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014)

The Marked Ones is proof positive that focusing on characters who aren’t related to Katie can indeed work out, if you can actually find something unique to do with them. It has a similar structure to the franchise outing Curse of Chucky, actively eschewing continuity until it reveals that it is very much in continuity, to the delight of many fans. However, with or without the franchise connections, the movie is a jack-in-the-box thrill ride filled with engaging characters that puts a unique spin on the franchise’s core premise and shakes some of the doldrums out of a series that was already showing its age at that point in its run.

#2 Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)

Paranormal Activity 2 is the platonic ideal of a Paranormal Activity sequel. It ups the ante considerably. More people in the house, more cameras, higher stakes (there’s a baby in peril). However, it still takes its time and utilizes the original movie’s patented slow, slow burn, not overindulging the audience with whiz-bang effects. It still primarily lets your imagination fill in the gaps of what’s going on in the lurking shadows of this suburban home.

#1 Paranormal Activity (2007)

Look, there’s a reason this movie made more money than a gym membership office on New Year’s Day. It’s extraordinarily effective at every single thing that it’s doing, from the small stuff, like presenting you with a believable suburban couple, to the big stuff, like setting Ouija boards aflame and chucking bodies through the air as you watch a series of seemingly minor unsettling happenings rip that couple apart before your very eyes. The movie is the ultimate home invasion, not only violating the ways we are supposed to feel safe in our own homes, but causing the very laws of physics, logic, and human behavior that govern that safe space to betray us.

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