Movies
Ranking the ‘Alien’ Movies in a Way That Will Make Everyone Angry
Full disclaimer, this article is 100% biased, and you are fully invited to fight over this ranking in the comments.
The best alien movie is Alien (1979).
Ridley Scott’s Alien is one of the greatest, most iconic movies of all time, and several key elements make Alien so timeless.
First, Swiss artist H.R. Giger’s design of the Xenomorph purposely melds phallic and yonic imagery to create a terrifying creature that can impregnate basically anyone. The very concept of motherhood is divorced from gender all throughout the movie, which gives Alien a unique flavor of body horror while also subverting gender.
Second, though the story is set far into the future, the technology available to these characters does not save them. In fact, the tech often endangers them. Their weapons are useless, and the ship often provides convenient hiding spots for the xenomorph.
Finally, though the xenomorph is indeed very scary, the true terror of Alien lies in the infinite greed of Weyland Industries, the corporation that sends the ship off course in the first place. The crew is betrayed by their own computer (named “Mother”) and a fellow crewmate. The nightmare of Alien is that even if they survive the xenomorph, they don’t have a home to go back to. They have been sacrificed.
The 2nd best alien movie is Alien Resurrection (1997).
The 4th alien movie, Alien Resurrection (directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet) is, from a thematic standpoint, the second-best Alien movie out there. PLEASE HEAR ME OUT. Putting aside the incredibly campy performances, the very dated Dutch angles, and the wildly oversaturated colors, Alien Resurrection picks up many of the threads laid out in Alien. The greedy corporation is now a greedy government – they do insane shit with xenomorph DNA in their unending quest to weaponize the lifeform. Their technology fails to contain the xenomorphs in spectacular ways, and the ship turns into an incubator for hundreds of newborn face huggers. Ripley is not quite human anymore, and she teams up with a gang of outlaw misfits as they all fight to survive. She shamelessly flirts with Winona Rider’s character Call (who is also not-quite human), and in the aftermath of the film’s events, the two are left to make a life of their own. The visceral nightmare of motherhood, especially the non-consensual kind, is at the heart of this story. Ripely expresses palpable anger at the system that co-opts her body in order to breed violence, which feels strangely relatable 25 years later. Alien Resurrection culminates around Ripley’s struggle to control a very violent, very slimy lifeform. It’s chaotic, it’s brutal, and it’s very, very gooey.
The 3rd best alien movie is Alien3 (1992) – specifically The Assembly Cut.
David Fincher famously disowned Alien3, and who could blame him? The production was cursed long before the first-time director signed on. The Assembly Cut, released on DVD alongside the theatrical cut, is supposedly a better representation of Fincher’s intent, but mainly it just includes important context to the strange prison planet on which the 3rd installment is set. Alien3 is a difficult watch. Its pacing is a mess, and there’s a pervasive threat of sexual violence throughout the first half that I think no one needs to experience. The fluid gender dynamics in Alien and Resurrection are absent. Instead, we get a very binary situation where Ripley is specifically a woman, and it’s specifically her womanness that puts her in danger. This particular gang of misfits aren’t exactly sympathetic, which makes it difficult to care when they die. However, the abandoned prison colony setting does fit with the institutional violence present in the other Alien movies, and the lack of modern weapons and technology poses a unique challenge for the characters that the franchise sadly never revisits. The film’s final act is dark and intense. The ending gives us one last taste of cruelty from Weyland Industries, which pushes Ripley to reject motherhood in a very metal way. Alien3 is messy, but it tries.
The 4th best alien movie is Aliens (1986).
There are so many rich themes, motifs, and details that Ridley Scott sets up in 1979. There’s a genderfucked alien species and a genderless crew, an ominous all-powerful corporation, and a bunch of useless tech and weapons. But what does James Cameron do with these things in Aliens? NOTHING. Ripely is no longer a genderless crewmember, she’s a grieving mother (the only way to flesh out a female character, I guess?) who immediately bonds with a lost, traumatized child. Cameron introduces a queen xenomorph, making the characters specify that she is female. Cyborgs aren’t scary weapons anymore who sabotage on behalf of the corporation, they’re nice and helpful! There are lots of weapons, lots of bullets, lots of flamethrowers, and they sort of work! In fact, Ripley uses a machine at the end to fight off the queen xenomorph, setting up a literal Mom (Ripley) versus Bitch (the queen) fight, which feels so antithetical to the agender vibes of Alien. In Aliens, the prevailing source of tension comes from the battle between humans and xenomorphs instead of the oppressive weight of Weyland Industries. And though the corporation is ultimately revealed to be up to no good, we go into the movie expecting them to be shady, which takes the sting out of the film’s final twist.
Compared to the deep, ominous shadows of Alien, the sepia-toned desolation of Alien3, or the green, gooey chaos of Resurrection, the aesthetics of Aliens feel empty and clinical. Many entries in the Alien franchise stray from the original blueprint (how do you think Prometheus or Covenant compare? Or the AvP movies?), but it’s Aliens that fundamentally misunderstands everything that makes Alien so iconic.
Movies
This Queer 2015 Slasher Desperately Deserves A Cult Following
Dive into “You’re Killing Me,” a 2015 queer horror slasher that’s equal parts romance, comedy, and bloody thrills. Follow Joe, a budding serial killer, as he navigates love and West Hollywood’s apathetic social scene in this vibrant, satirical coming-out allegory. A must-watch for queer horror fans!
This Pride Month on Horror Press, one of our main missions is to spread the word about queer horror movies that have actually, explicitly queer characters. Throw your queer theory textbook out the window today and put away those notes about the subtext of Fright Night. Today we’re diving deep into an example of one of my favorite movie genres (slasher) that features one of my favorite human genres (queer people). That’s right, we’re here to talk about 2015’s You’re Killing Me, a movie that celebrates the 10th anniversary of its OutFest premiere in July and desperately needs to have developed a proper cult following by the 20th anniversary, if there is any justice in the universe. Or the 15th anniversary. Or hell, the 11th.
The Queer Classic That Is You’re Killing Me
In brief, You’re Killing Me is a romantic comedy about social misfit Joe (Matthew McKelligon) meeting George (Jeffery Self). The pair fall in love and Joe insinuates himself with George’s West Hollywood friend group, including George’s co-star in his online videos, Barnes (Bryan Safi). It’s all very sweet, except for one wrinkle. Joe is a budding serial killer, and every time he talks about coming into his own as a murderer, his new boyfriend – who is too busy thinking about his favorite subject, himself – just assumes that he’s kidding.
Not only is You’re Killing Me a movie jam-packed with queer characters, it tells an entirely unique queer story through the allegory of Joe’s murders. Its true intentions may be hidden behind rivulets of blood, but it’s a coming-out story, too. It’s a rather unique “hero killer” story (to steal a phrase referring to movies that have their killer as the protagonist from Brian Collins, who may – in all fairness – have stolen it from somebody else). While the story does have a strong dash of Dexter to it, it’s got a much more focused coming-out metaphor, about trying to self-actualize and live one’s truth while surrounded by people who aren’t pushing back but rather could not give a shit about anything beyond the surface level of a person or a situation.
A Slasher With Heart
While the movie clearly has a lot of affection for the characters that it is lovingly satirizing, it harshly critiques their inability to connect with Joe properly, and their punishment for not listening to him is an increasingly deadly rampage. Joe mistakes their lack of processing as actual encouragement, and his self-actualization is allowed to spin wildly down a destructive path. However, by making the scenes where Joe commits his murders more lush, colorful, and beautiful than everything else, the movie hints that the character is much more alive than the dead-eyed WeHo-ites who surround him, by dint of actually living his truth.
While I’m not saying the movie justifies murder, per se, it definitely calls out the evil inherent to apathy, and that’s another way that it is much more queer and textured and interesting than the average slasher movie. So why isn’t it a cult classic just yet? You tell me! It just boils the blood. But I’m trying to build said cult here, so allow me to continue my pitch.
The Queer People Behind You’re Killing Me
As much as there is ample queerness to be seen in You’re Killing Me, there is just as much offscreen. Just like the West Hollywood culture the movie heavily satirizes, this group of gay people has a strong tendency to trend white, cis, and male (though longtime ally and LGBTQ+ advocate Mindy Cohn is also floating around the cast!), which, sure, could be a knock against it, but let’s take a quick journey through who we have here!
Director/Co-Writer/Producer Jim Hansen
Jim Hansen (not to be confused with the muppet pioneer of almost the same name) is primarily known for his work in the costume department of various major projects, including being the costume designer for Another Gay Movie and a costumer for Bring It On, Kill Bill Vol 1 & 2, and Wizards of Waverly Place.
He is also the co-creator of The Chloe Videos, which feature Drew Droege (who also appears in You’re Killing Me) in drag as Chloë Sevigny. Currently, You’re Killing Me is his final directorial feature, because the moral arc of the universe does not bend toward justice. However, his career is still ongoing, and more recently he has been the costume supervisor for shows like One Day at a Time, Bunk’d, and Happy’s Place.
Co-Writer/Star/Producer Jeffery Self
Comedian, actor, and writer Jeffery Self is best known to me as Liz’s gay cousin from 30 Rock, but he has a wide range of credits under his belt. Star of Search Party, author of the young adult novel A Very Very Bad Thing, host of the MTV aftershow Scream: After Dark, writer of salacious Fire Island recaps where he details the fact that he used to date one of the stars… this man has done it all. He’s also currently in theaters playing a supporting role in Christopher Landon’s Drop!
Notably, his Self-insert character (so to speak), George, is perhaps the most wicked person in this movie about a serial killer. This speaks to a willingness to make oneself the butt of the joke that is refreshing in screenwriters providing parts for themselves.
Star Matthew McKelligon
McKelligon is a mainstay of YouTube web series turned Logo TV web series turned Netflix series EastSiders, which was created by Kit Williamson and co-starred Constance Wu!
Star Bryan Safi
Actor and general man-about-town Bryan Safi played a major role in You season 3, but he is perhaps best known as the co-host (with Erin Gibson) of the LGBTQ+/women’s news comedy podcast Attitudes! (formerly Throwing Shade).
Supporting Cast
In addition to Drew Droege, of course, You’re Killing Me also features notable queer supporting players including Matthew Wilkas (star of Gayby and thus former onscreen love interest for Adam Driver, as well as being a former real-life love interest for gay Olympian Gus Kenworthy), Jack Plotnick (who has lived the gay dream, starring in both Gods and Monsters and Buffy the Vampire Slayer), and Sam Pancake (gay character actor extraordinaire who you’ve seen everywhere from Friends to Arrested Development to Search Party to Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde).
Shudder is coming in hot this summer, and I love to see it. The streamer adds some James Wan flicks to the mix with Insidious and Dead Silence. They are also collecting new movies from festivals and theaters like Infinity Stones. There are a ton of moving parts between the shows landing, all of the vampire cinema, and plenty of space movies, etc.
What’s a girl with a short attention span to do aside from cancel her plans, and take her Shudder Saturdays even more seriously? There are too many options on this app right now.
This is my favorite kind of stress, so I am living.
Now allow me to tell you what new additions to the app might become my new personality this month.
The Best Movies to Stream on Shudder This Month
The Loved Ones (2009)
A high school boy turns down a classmate’s invitation to prom, but she refuses to take no for an answer. I love The Loved Ones and am happy it hits Shudder in time for prom season. Lola (Robin McLeavy) is a menace in a pink gown, and I wish we had more villains like her. The movie is also coming out right in time as the filmmaker Sean Byrne has a new project coming out on June 6th called Dangerous Animals. So, if you are unfamiliar with his work, The Loved Ones is a hell of an introduction.
You can watch The Loved Ones on June 1st.
Sputnik (2020)
The lone survivor of a spaceship incident discovers they have brought something home with them. I have never seen this sci-fi monster horror moment. However, I know it is under the IFC Midnight banner, and I will make time for each weird party they want to throw my way. So, I am excited to see this when it hits Shudder this June. I also secretly hope it pairs well with Ash because we love a double feature. However, I will be tuning in for this either way, as it sounds like my kind of party.
You can watch Sputnik on June 9th.
Best Wishes to All (2024)
A young woman visiting her grandparents discovers the sinister secret to their happiness. Filmmaker Yûta Shimotsu has entered the chat with one of the most bizarre movies I have seen this year. This Shudder Original is a dark and funny J-Horror that asks many valid questions as it refuses to take any predictable roads to the conclusion. It’s a creepy, witty, unique little gem and the kind of movie that is the reason I continue to happily give Shudder my money every month.
You can watch Best Wishes to All on June 13th.
Hell Motel (2025)
True crime obsessives are invited to the opening of a motel that was the site of a grisly Satanic Mass Murder over 30 years ago. I really loved the last three seasons of Slasher. So, I cleared my calendar when I saw the duo behind that bloody affair, Aaron Martin and Ian Carpenter, had turned their wigs around and re-entered stage right.
I am also giddy because they are bringing so many familiar faces along for this new deadly ride. Faces that include Emmy® Award-winner Eric McCormack, who joined the ensemble cast for the last season of Slasher.
Brace yourselves because I will be the most obnoxious person on Twitter when this new horror anthology lands. I expect a lot from this Shudder Original and cannot wait to inject it directly into my eyeballs.
You can watch Hell Motel on June 17th.
Ash (2025)
Riya (Eiza González) wakes up on a mysterious planet to find her crew slaughtered. A man, Brion (Aaron Paul), arrives to rescue her, but their quest for answers leads to unimaginable terrors. This Shudder Exclusive is directed by Flying Lotus and just wrapped its theatrical run. I watched Ash months ago at SXSW and am so glad it’s hitting the streaming streets sooner rather than later.
If you want to see a badass lead in a twisty sci-fi tale, this should be on your agenda this June.
You can watch Ash starting June 20th.
May these selections bring you nightmares and anxiety as they leave you shaking and remind you exactly why you are a proud Shudder subscriber. I do not know how they do it every month, but I am a grateful little horror weirdo. Hopefully, you will also find new (or new to you) stuff to enjoy in your air conditioning this month.
Happy Summer, horror fiends!
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