Movies
Which Character from the Scream Franchise Are You Based on Your Horoscope?
Do you ever wonder who you would be if the stars aligned (probably not in your favor) and you found yourself in the middle of Woodsboro? Madame Horror Press has chosen to emerge from her psychomanteum and impart upon us which character we are in the Scream franchise based on our astrological signs.
We at Horror Press recognize that, just as the Scream franchise has displayed many different personalities, the signs cannot simply be defined by only one character. To every yin, its yang. Which side of the coin you land on depends on your heart, dear horror fan. So, as you weigh your two options, ask yourself: are you the good guy or the villain?
Note: As of the creation of this article, Scream 6 is brand new. As such, for the sake of no spoilers, none of the new canon or characters will be referenced.
Aries 3/21-4/19

Sidney Prescott//Mrs. Loomis
With your determination to never back down from a challenge and bold personality, is it any wonder that you’d be the OG final girl Sidney Prescott? However, in the wrong hands (or right hands, depending on your POV on vengeance), you could find yourself as none other than Mrs. Loomis.
Taurus 4/20-5/20

Tatum Riley//Cotton Weary
Like Tatum Riley, you have a fun-loving nature, and you’re a great time to be around. Although this has its downturn, a constant fixation on cash, stubbornness, and envy of others can make you look a lot like Cotton Weary if you’re not careful. (Okay, so he’s not a murderer, but he’s certainly not #goals either.)
Gemini 5/21-6/20

Chad and Mindy Meeks-Martin//Ghostface
Your many interests and desires can be personified in one of two ways, depending on you, dear Gemini. If you are endearing in your endeavors, then the playful Meeks-Martin twins are your reality. If not, then your nature can only be rightly captured by all the duplicitous madness lurking behind the Ghostface masks.
Cancer 6/21-7/22

Dewey Riley//Stu Macher
Your caring, devoted nature and inherent silliness are all trademarks of Dewey Riley. However, these qualities can quickly turn sour when you’re roped into a homicidal frenzy with your best pal, only for him to stab you and hit you with a phone – like Stu Macher.
Leo 7/23-8/22

Derek Feldman//Jill Roberts
Your adventurous and humorous nature and affinity for the spotlight could have you standing on a cafeteria table singing “I Think I Love You” like Derek Feldman. Be cautious, however. That desire to be the star-of-the-show forms the swirling depths from which the likes of Jill Roberts emerge.
Virgo 8/23-9/22

Randy Meeks//Roman Bridger
Your analytical nature and love of order and solving puzzles make you Randy Meeks, informing everyone of the rules of the horror movie. However, if you let the past haunt you and use your powers of analysis for evil, that makes you none other than Roman Bridger, a calculated killer to the nth degree and the most disliked in the franchise.
Libra 9/23-10/22

Principal Arthur Himbry//Amber Freeman
You thrive on justice and harmony and work tirelessly and thanklessly to preserve balance, much like Principal Arthur Himbry. Take caution, for if you become too rigid in your expectations, and let your bossy ways take the wheel without mercy, you may find yourself in the same position as Amber Freeman – on the business end of some hand sanitizer.
Scorpio 10/23-11/21

Sam Carpenter//Billy Loomis
You dark spirit, you. Like Sam Carpenter, you have a mysterious aura, are loyal to a fault, and derive great power from your emotions. Unfortunately, some are driven insane with that power, and then we’re left with Billy Loomis.
Sagittarius 11/22-12/21

Gale Weathers//Still Gale Weathers
You are funny, fair, and have an unquenchable thirst for information and will go to great lengths to get it – much like Gale Weathers. While this can be an admirable quality, tread carefully. That quest for knowledge can be dangerous, as before you know it, you’re interrogating a teenager on the anniversary of her mom’s death about being wrong about her mother’s killer. I’m not saying she was a villain pre-Ghostface trauma, but she was a villain pre-Ghostface trauma.
Capricorn 12/23-1/19

Kenny Brown//Mickey Altieri
Your hard work, sense of responsibility, ability to be a team player, and humility all amount to the undervalued (and undoubtedly underpaid) Kenny, the cameraman. Conversely, the desire to continuously take what you want right nowcan amount to hare-brained schemes where you team up in a murderous plot with a random grieving mother you met online.
Aquarius 1/20-2/18

Kirby Reed//Hank Loomis
Like fan-favorite Kirby Reed, you are a dedicated innovator who knows how to have fun. Be wary; your rebellious side and recklessly pursuing your passions can amount to the likes of Hank Loomis, Billy Loomis’ father. When your son and your (ex) wife are driven to serial murder from the fruits of your desires, it may be time to begin looking inward.
Pisces 2/19-3/20

Tara Carpenter//Richie Kirsch
You are sensitive to the plights of others and respect intelligence, much like Tara Carpenter. Is it any wonder you’re such a fan of elevated horror like the Babadook? On the other hand, your deep thinking can get you into trouble – as being prone to fantasy can trick you into believing you would get to ride off into the sunset with your clearly sociopathic girlfriend (cough, cough, Richie.)
Do you agree with the Scream character Madame Horror Press has given you? Let us know in the comments!
Love Madame Horror Press? Get your very own Madame Horror Press tee here!
Movies
The Best Horror You Can Stream on Netflix in March
Netflix did not give me a lot to work with this month. I may have also zoomed through many of my favorite things on the platform these last few months. So, many of these are titles I have been meaning to check out, and I hope they are worth the wait. However, I cannot promise the carnage, chaos, and confusion I normally provide for this column. This means you’ll have to forgive me for having less razzle dazzle and a little more uncertainty while I list some stuff off the less beaten path. Gather around, and I’ll tell you what I am trying to get into this March!
Archive (2020)
In 20238, George Almore’s newest AI prototype is nearly complete. However, this humanesque machine is also hiding one of George’s secrets that must remain hidden. While I love some British sci-fi and believe we should watch as many of the 2020 movies that slid under our quarantined radar, I’m pulling up for another reason. I want to see Theo James in something that isn’t The Monkey. Literally. I didn’t enjoy that movie, and I seem to be the last person I know who was unfamiliar with James before that. So, I’m trying to rectify that and see what he can do in anything else. Hopefully, after catching this on Netflix, I will have a new movie that comes to mind when he is mentioned. Fingers crossed, friends!
Green Room (2016)
A punk rock band gets trapped in a venue where skinheads want to kill them. So many people have told me this movie is worth my time, but because it’s always too soon for violent racists in this decade, I keep putting it off. However, I am so curious to see what Patrick Stewart, Imogen Poots, Alia Shawkat, and the late Anton Yelchin are doing in this movie. Green Room is also one of the few A24 horror movies that I have not seen, which makes it even more intriguing. While I doubt 2026 will calm down enough for this not feel too real, I think it’s time for me to be brave and cross this movie off my list already. So, I might have to grab a drink, a weighted blanket, and remote so I can open Netflix.
M3GAN 2.0 (2025)
Two years after M3GAN’s murder spree, she is rebuilt by her creator to take down a military-grade weapon made from her stolen tech. Is this movie as good as the original written by Akela Cooper? Obviously not. No one can do what Cooper does and we shouldn’t hold people to that very high bar. Is this movie way too damn long? Also, yes. However, was there still a lot of fun to be had along the way? I thought so. While M3GAN 2.0 isn’t the sequel we wanted, I’m happy to rewatch it for free at home. We lose a lot of the threads I loved in the first one, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t the new Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgement Day anyway. In a perfect world, Akela Cooper will reopen the computer (after receiving a very large check from Blumhouse) and give us a third installment to bring our dancing diva back into the horror fold.
Life After Beth (2014)
A man discovers his dead girlfriend is back, and that might be for the worst. I never watched this horror comedy, but I’m sad and hoping Aubrey Plaza can change that. After all, if she can’t wake us up after a long winter, then who can? I also imagine Plaza as a zombie is kind of great. Along for the ride is Molly Shannon, so between the two of them, I expect some chuckles and guffaws. Maybe the powers that be at Netflix knew we could all use a laugh, and that’s why this is waiting for us on the other side of February. Or possibly they wanted to apologize for that last season of Stranger Things. Or maybe it’s just a wacky coincidence, and I’m looking for meaning where there is none. Either way, I have a date with this movie, and you might want to check it out too.
Teen Wolf (2011-2017)
Getting bitten by a werewolf turns life upside down for a high school student and his best friend. Hear me out! I doubt there is a world where I will watch all six seasons of this. Hell, I doubt I’ll even finish the first season. However, I skipped this MTV moment when it originally aired. Which is why I didn’t know who Dylan O’Brien was when Send Help was announced. So, I’m using this Netflix account to see where he started now that I have seen him in something. You can join me in this or mark your time as safe and watch something else. I don’t blame you either way, and I hope you’ll respect my privacy during this adventure.
That’s what I’m doing with my Netflix account this month. Here is hoping April gives us more scary movies because some of us deserve it. Most importantly, I deserve it.
Movies
The Best Horror You Can Stream on Shudder in March 2026
Shudder is still that girl even in March. Our beloved streamer is adding classics like The Fog and Messiah of Evil. They are also adding a couple of films that are precious to my generation, like May. The app always has an eclectic lineup, but this month is an embarrassment of riches. At least if you are like me, and looking at a list of movies you have had on your watch list forever. That is why it took me a hot minute to figure out which five titles should be this month’s priority. However, I cracked the code and think I have something old, something new, and definitely at least a couple of things that will turn blue. Check out what I am trying to see on Shudder this month. Also, be sure to let me know if you are as geeked about these titles as I am.
The Best Movies to Stream on Shudder This Month
The Last Horror Film (1982)
A New York taxi driver stalks an actress during the Cannes Film Festival. I love 80s slashers and have been on a quest to watch them all. This one has eluded me for a couple of years, and I am so happy Shudder is finally letting me cross it off my list. I am not expecting this to break my top 1980s slashers. I’m not even counting on it to be one of the best movies about a stalked actress of that era. However, I’m excited to finally see it for myself with an adult beverage in hand.
You can watch The Last Horror Film on March 1st.
Fade to Black (1980)
A film fanatic begins murdering people who betray him while stalking his idol. I finally caught this on Shudder in the last couple of years and will be using its return as an excuse to rewatch it. Very few movies cater to the slasher kids and film nerds as well as this one. Fade to Black is the kind of psychological horror comedy that is the reason 1980s horror remains unmatched. The costumes, the obsession, and the kills are the most fun you can possibly have on a Shudder Saturday. Do yourself a favor and hit play immediately.
You can watch Fade to Black on March 9th.
Hostile Dimensions (2023)
Two filmmakers travel through alternate dimensions seeking out the truth about a missing graffiti artist. This found footage film has been on my list for years, and I am so grateful that Shudder is finally letting me see it. I have heard so many great things, and the FOMO was killing me. Hopefully, Hostile Dimensions lives up to the hype. Otherwise, I have to ask my nearest and dearest to explain themselves and then stop accepting recommendations from them. Will it scratch the found footage itch I have this month? There is only one way to find out, and that is why I will be sat the day this drops on the app.
You can watch Hostile Dimensions on March 9th.
1000 Women in Horror (2025)
Women have been an integral part of the genre since Mary Shelley started thinking about Frankenstein. However, we do not always get the credit and respect we deserve. Which is why I am thrilled 1000 Women in Horror is celebrating the badasses who revolutionized horror films. Not only is the documentary opening the libraries for us, but it’s also bringing current faves along for the ride. Akela Cooper, Toby Poser, and Jenn Wexler are just some of the names I know who are about to inspire so many women to get serious about making their movies. I cannot stress enough how happy I am that Shudder is adding this to its lineup.
You can watch 1000 Women in Horror on March 20th.
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
College friends backpacking through Britain are attacked by a werewolf. As a werewolf film enthusiast, I know they are not all made equally. That is one of the many reasons why this is easily one of the best werewolf movies the genre has. The transformation alone is worth the price of a Shudder subscription. So, it shouldn’t come as a shock that this is one of the five titles I’m most excited to see this month. Hell, it’s probably in everyone’s top five to be completely honest. I cannot think of a better way to close this month out than with a top-tier werewolf flick.
You can watch An American Werewolf in London on March 31st.
I told you, Shudder is that girl. Whether you’re on spring break, taking a mental health day, or just dissociating, this app has got you covered. Make sure you dig into some of this sick, twisted, and cool cinema. As for me, I will see you next month with more recommendations.


