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BATTLE OF THE BLOODSTAINED SPOUSES: Which Horror Movie Villain Would Make the Best Romantic Partner?

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4 years ago

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Pictured: A tender embrace between lovers. So sweet.

There was our simple first age as a species, Cro-Magnon’s who had to limit our minds to whatever scary things we could draw with berry juice on a cave wall. Then we walked upright boldly into an age of movies, an age of horror movies. We created bold new monstrosities to watch in wonder and fear.

And then, with The Shape of Water dawned a new age: an age where people could boldly and openly say they would bang with monsters.

And I’m glad for those people. But life isn’t all about the carnal pleasures. It’s about meaningful relationships. Bonding with someone you love. Stability. So, putting aside your weird fantasies for a second, I implore you to consider this.

What monster would you not only want to be with…but also build a home with?

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For the next few weeks, we at Horror Press will be doing some polls around a curated list of horror movie icons to determine who has the makings of a solid life partner. And you, dear readers, get to vote and determine who passes on between the weeks up until the very final article is publish on Valentine’s Day. The name of the game is long term, stable relationship, so, let’s put them to the test and you put your three votes to good use!

But before that…

THE GROUND RULES

If we were to go through all of horror’s great monsters to do this, we’d be here all day. So we’ll have to whittle down our list of possible candidates.

Rule #1: They must be the villain of that film. Self-explanatory.

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Rule #2: They must be sapient and consenting. Relationships require communication, trust, and respect, and anything that only has sentience alone cannot give you those three things. This disqualifies any creatures that behave like wild animals, i.e. The Things from The Thing or Aliens from Aliens. Sorry to you nasties out there.

Rule #3: They must be able to do things other than killing/torturing. Anything completely mindless/mechanical in their motives are incapable of being reasoned with, so they’re a no go. This disqualifies the likes of Michael Myers and Pinhead. If they go mindless as the result of a transformation, they’re on the table. If they just do just because it’s fun, that’s a boring person to be around, its effectively the same as someone who has made their hobby their whole personality.

Rule #4: They must be single. This disqualifies the Jack Torrance’s on our list who are in relationships. This also disqualifies Pennywise and The Babadook since they are in a loving relationship (iykyk). Killers in a poly relationship feel like cheating by submitting extra ballots, so they’re also off the table.

I must make a very specific ruling as a Chucky fan, if you have some mechanism by which you split your soul, but only one iteration of you is in the relationship, this does not count as being single. That’s just…you in a relationship with extra steps. So sorry Charles, you’re still taken by Tiffany and vice versa.

Rule #5: They must not be bound to a singular location. Monsters or killers stuck to a particular stomping ground are often too inflexible and too rigid. How would you go on vacation? What if you find a nice apartment at a reasonable rate in another part of town? It’s just not realistic to limit yourself, Jotun from The Ritual.

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Now that we’ve got that out of the way, I’ve narrowed our competitors down to 30 horror stars from across all genres. THE LIST IS, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

  1. Baguul (Sinister)
  2. The Phantom (Phantom of the Opera)
  3. The Tall Man (Phantasm Series)
  4. Freddy Krueger (Nightmare on Elm Street Series)
  5. Wolf (Alien VS. Predator)
  6. Herbert West (Re-Animator)
  7. Audrey II (Little Shop of Horrors)
  8. Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)
  9. Rose the Hat (Doctor Sleep)
  10. John Kramer (Saw)
  11. Angela Baker (Sleepaway Camps 2 & 3)
  12. Norman Bates (Psycho)
  13. Annie Wilkes (Misery)
  14. Sweeney Todd (Sweeney Todd)
  15. Gabriel (Malignant)
  16. The Gill Man (The Creature from The Black Lagoon Series)
  17. Marie (High Tension)
  18. Roman Bridger (Scream 3)
  19. Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th Series)
  20. Seth Brundle (The Fly)
  21. Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre Series)
  22. Leslie Vernon (Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon)
  23. Tom Hanninger (My Bloody Valentine Remake)
  24. Sue Ann (Ma)
  25. Dracula (Dracula 2000)

And that’s it for Week 1 everybody.

MAY THE BEST MONSTER WIN! Your heart.

VOTING HAS CLOSED! THANKS FOR PARTICIPATING!

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Luis Pomales-Diaz is a freelance writer and lover of fantasy, sci-fi, and of course, horror. When he isn't working on a new article or short story, he can usually be found watching schlocky movies and forgotten television shows.

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Misc

‘The Fly’ Movies Ranked (There’s More Than You Think)

Published

1 week ago

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June 3, 2026

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When people talk about the 1980s’ great horror remakes, they always bring up three titles updating 1950s sci-fi classics. Those would be John Carpenter’s The Thing, David Cronenberg’s The Fly, and Chuck Russell’s The Blob. It is generally recognized that both the originals and the remakes are pretty great in all three cases. However, when it came time to bring you good folks a ranking for Horror Press’ sci-fi month, one emerged victorious. Now, each franchise has at least three movies. 1958’s The Blob has a sequel (Beware! The Blob, from 1972). And 1982’s The Thing has a prequel (2011’s The Thing). However, The Fly franchise actually has five movies altogether. The extended Fly franchise isn’t talked about as much as it should be, and it’s highly deserving of a ranking. So let’s take a deeper look at this oh-so underrated series.

The Fly Movies Ranked

#5 The Fly II (1989)

The sequel to David Cronenberg’s The Fly gets a bad rap, because it’s not David Cronenberg’s The Fly. In The Fly II, Eric Stoltz plays Seth Brundle’s son, Martin. In the tradition of many a puberty metaphor, his dormant fly DNA triggers a transformation when he reaches sexual maturity. All in all, this movie is actually pretty good. It has a decently emotional narrative centered on the idea of parents passing a disease to their children. It has a bombastic score by Christopher Young. And it’s pretty gooey and gross, in the grand tradition of fun 1980s horror. However, it’s still a bit goofy and repetitive in a way that prevents it from climbing higher up the list. Plus, the only actor from the original 1986 movie who comes back (outside of archive footage) is John Getz. No shade on Getz, but he’s no Jeff Goldblum or Geena Davis.

#4 Curse of the Fly (1965)

On the other hand, Curse of the Fly wields goofiness as its most memorable strength. It gets away with it because it is never ever boring. However, the third Fly movie goes totally off the rails as far as the franchise is concerned. So it’s not going to be that satisfying as the third stepping stone of a larger marathon. It basically forgets that these movies are about scientists accidentally blending their DNA with houseflies. Instead, it expands its scope to a broader “mad science” realm. Primarily, it follows a young woman discovering the sinister secrets harbored by the rich family she hastily married into. It’s part Rebecca, part The Island of Dr. Moreau, and all weird. In a very good way.

#3 Return of the Fly (1959)

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. The son of the guy from 1958’s The Fly finds himself caught up in the aftermath of his father’s experiment. Unfortunately, the human-fly hybrid stuff here isn’t that interesting. It plays more like a generic 1950s monster movie than any of the other installments. However, that bit only comes in the third act, after an hour of pure mayhem! We’re talking even more experiments gone wrong (a guinea pig is given human hands in one memorably surreal moment). We’re talking juicy family melodrama. We’re talking backstabbing, duplicity, and Vincent Price. Overall, it’s a pretty good time! Also the male lead, Brett Halsey, is a total babe. You know, if that helps.

#2 The Fly (1958)

The Fly could easily have been terrible. It’s quite obviously cheap, and some of its special effects are dodgy. It’s not particularly action-packed, either. It mostly focuses on the investigation of the mysterious death of the brother of François Delambre (Vincent Price). Given that this is a movie called The Fly, you get no points for guessing what happened to him. However, even if you’re several steps ahead of the mystery, it’s still a rock-solid thrill ride. Both in the present and in flashbacks, the movie largely focuses on the dead man’s wife, Helene (Patricia Owens). This allows it to revel in watching her cozy domestic life swiftly unravel, which requires no special effects at all. It’s a hell of a satisfying watch that swivels between nihilistic horror movie and charming 1950s sci-fi romp. And I like both of those things very much!

#1 The Fly (1986)

I sometimes break from tradition with my No. 1 picks, but that will not be the case here. No way, no how! Cronenberg’s remake of The Fly does everything you want a remake to do. First, it amps up the special effects something fierce. His The Fly is a gruesome, gut-churning adventure. It constantly asks, “Could the human body get any grosser?” and always answers that question with a firm yes. However, it also takes the bare-bones plot of the original and adds a huge amount of depth. While both movies follow couples being challenged by the man becoming a fly-human hybrid, the remake’s romance is infinitely richer. The Fly is not only a great remake, but the ultimate auteur horror film. It feels like nothing less than David Cronenberg cracking open his skull and smearing his brain across the camera lens.
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Misc

The Krampus-Is-Coming Giveaway!

Published

6 months ago

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December 8, 2025

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Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone, the Holiday season has REALLY kicked off. We’ve covered our fair share of Holiday horror from underappreciated gems like Christmas Bloody Christmas and Dial Code Santa Claus to Black Christmas and Krampus! In the hopes of spreading some Holiday cheer (and fear!), the curator of all things Horror Press, James-Michael, has decided to bring the cloven-foot killer that is Krampus into your homes! But this isn’t your ordinary Krampus…this Krampus is chock full of special features and gift wrapped in 4K!

If you haven’t seen Krampus, then what are you doing with your life? For those unfamiliar, Krampus follows a large family gathering of frustrating people who all get snowed in three days before Christmas. One by one, the family gets picked off by Christmas-themed creatures. Sometimes, the holidays truly are killer.

Enter Our Holiday Giveaway!

How to Enter:

Step 1. Make sure to FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM!

Step 2. LIKE the giveaway post!

Step 3. TAG A FRIEND who you think Krampus should visit!

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The winner will be announced on Monday, December 15th and notified via direct message. If the winner does not respond within 24 hours, we’ll randomly select another winner.

WHAT YOU’LL WIN

What’s included in Krampus: The Naughty Cut? Let’s unwrap it and look:

  • Audio commentary with director/co-writer Michael Dougherty, and co-writers Todd Casey and Zach Shields
  • NEW interviews with Michael Dougherty, Visual Effects Artist Richard Taylor, Actors Allison Tolman, David Koechner and Emjay Anthony, Co-Writer/Co-Producer Todd Casey and more…
  • Alternate ending
  • Deleted/extended scenes
  • Gag reel
  • Krampus Comes Alive! – Five-part featurette including Dougherty’s Vision, The Naughty Ones: Meet the Cast, Krampus and his Minions, Practical Danger, and Inside the Snowglobe: Production Design
  • Behind the scenes at WETA Workshop: Krampus
  • And more!

So head over to our Instagram, follow our account, like our giveaway post, and tag a friend who you think Krampus should go visit!

Good luck!

**Giveaway entries are limited to addresses in the United States.**

**All entries must be 18 or older to enter**

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