Jaws 3-D, released July 1983, is a reviled sequel to one of the greatest movies of all time. Despite being a box office success with a worldwide gross of $88 million and the #2 highest-grossing opening weekend of 1983, genre fans do not remember this film fondly. However, I assert that although there is a lack of general horror, Jaws 3-D still has something to offer audiences… laughs!
First, we must get this out of the way. There actually is a horror element to Jaws 3-D, though unintended, and it serves as the saddest part of its legacy (no, not the terrible CGI). Jaws 3-D was filmed at the actual SeaWorld Orlando, and several SeaWorld animals were used for the film, including Capricorn, who played one of the hero dolphins, and Kotar, named Shamu. Capricorn, as of 2006, was the oldest dolphin in captivity and resided at Discovery Cove (owned by SeaWorld Orlando). Sadly, Kotar died in 1995 due to injuries sustained after a gate closed on his head. SeaWorld has since been condemned by many for its treatment of its marine animals following the disturbing documentary Blackfish (2013). Jaws 3-D serves as a time capsule for an era that favored entertainment over animal rights.
Now, let’s get to the fun stuff. Because while Jaws 3-D falls into the thriller/horror categories, this aged-to-horrible-perfection film is, instead, full of delectable visual treats, actors, and outdated special effects that make it so enjoyable to watch, as long as you refuse to take it seriously. Here are the 10 Best Non-Horror Moments of Jaws 3-D.
10) This quote from Mike Brody: “Where’s your boots?” “I only wear them in bed and in the shower.”
What does this even mean?
9) The dolphins’ Cindy & Sandy victory leap finale
Dolphins Cindy and Sandy are the actual heroes of Jaws 3-D. They battle sharks, rescue the protagonists, and do fun tricks! Somehow, these dolphins were nominated for Worst Newcomer at the 1983 Golden Raspberry Awards for their performances. The most cheesily-satisfying moment of the film happens at the very end when the dolphins, feared dead, leap victoriously into the air to the cheers of the protagonists.
8) The Stand-Off game
Has anyone ever played this game? Was it popular? According to a 2011 interview with actor John Putch (Sean Brody), he said that the game must have been popular back then as it was in the script. It seems even Putch may not have known the game originally! To those still confused about the game’s definition, Kelly Ann tells us herself, “It is a game of balance!” This leads us to the 7th best moment in Jaws 3-D…
7) Kelly Ann Bukowski’s quote, “Come.. on in.. Sean! It’s fun!”
This line’s overdub is horrendous and hilarious. There are pauses in all the wrong places and the pitch of her voice is unsettling. The line is such a delightful bit of goofiness in an intended-serious big-budget film, and even more entertaining coming from a future award winner (this is her first feature film). Another fun tidbit: Thompson’s presence in this 3D feature is a fun little precursor for what is to come in Back to the Future II (1989) with a hologram shark in the fictional Jaws 19 (2015).
6) When Mike Brody had to ask “What the hell was that?!” about a shark despite seeing and encountering sharks several times in his life.
Did the shock Mike suffered from in the first two films wipe his memory? Nope. Because he vividly remembers his encounters in a prior scene, “White sharks are dangerous. I know ‘em. My father, my brother, myself. They’re murderers.” Okay, Mike.
5) This quote from Charlene, the Pat Benetar look-alike waitress, “He don’t sleep in, he don’t live in! You tell Shelby Overman for me he can take a flying leap in a rolling doughnut on a gravel driveway!”
You tell him, Charlene!
4) This quote from Dr. Kathryn Morgan: “Overman was killed inside the park. The baby was caught inside the park. Its mother is inside the park.”
This is all inside the park, right?
3) Mike Brody holding the dog’s ears as it eats
I cannot think of this film without Dennis Quaid immediately coming to mind. He brings sincerity to the eldest Brody son, unlike his teenage counterpart from Jaws 2 (1978). This scene where he holds the hound dog puppy’s ears while it’s chowing down is one of the purest things I have seen in an 80s horror movie. Despite claiming he was high on cocaine in nearly every scene, he brought needed moments of levity to a film that thought of itself too seriously.
2) The CGI Shark’s slow dramatic swim
Of course, the 3D shark is a star, especially in this scene. Its slow swim to the glass, which it soon shatters, is memorable for its clunky CGI use (one of 31 instances in the film). Jaws 3-D channels the early use of 3D technology in 1950s creature features, like Revenge of the Creature of the Black Lagoon (1955). Though thirty years between the two, the technology just hadn’t caught up.
The CGI Shark is iconic, but there is only one other scene-stealing component that surpasses anything the CGI Shark does…
1) ALL scenes with Brucetta, the practical shark
For everyone wondering, yes, this shark does have a name: Brucetta! And her only victims are men. What a queen.
Brucetta was designed by Roy Arbogast, the creative visual consultant, and I love her. The foam rubber, being stiff as a board, and her mouth always being open are some of her best qualities. I would also like to give credit to Jaws 3-Dfor finally bringing an inside-the-mouth shot to the franchise where we actually get to see a man crushed from inside the shark’s jaws. Not to mention, this beast growls! How? Don’t ask me.
All hail Brucetta!
