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The ‘American Psycho’ Business Cards, Ranked

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We’re digging into workplace horror this month at Horror Press. While there are plenty of horror stories about the evils committed against workers, other movies take a different tack. Sometimes they’re about the horrors perpetrated by people who care way too much about their jobs and their status. This has perhaps never been distilled more perfectly than in American Psycho’s business card scene. Our killer, Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale), has a just-barely-not-literal dick-measuring contest with his coworkers by comparing their nearly identical cards. Witness below:

In the scene, we are presented with multiple differing opinions about which cards are better than others. However, it seems pretty clear that everybody thinks Paul Allen’s is far and away the best. But who are these assholes to judge? I’m here to settle once and for all which business card is most worthy of a table at Dorsia.

American Psycho (2000) Business Cards Ranked

4. Timothy Bryce (Justin Theroux)

First and foremost, there are two glaring flaws here. However, they are endemic to every business card at Pierce & Pierce. The biggest is that “Acquisitions” is misspelled. It’s missing the C! However, since all four cards are missing the C, we must assume that the company itself has a misspelled name. The fact that this infuriates me either makes me better than Patrick Bateman or way worse. I don’t wish to interrogate that.

The other issue I have right off the bat is that the last name is in all caps. I can’t quite articulate why that annoys me so much. But every card does this, so I similarly need to remove that factor from consideration when ranking them.

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Bateman calls this card “impressive” and “very nice,” but you can tell that he’s lying through his teeth. The man’s ideas aren’t always great, but he’s right about Huey Lewis & The News, and he’s right about Bryce’s card. It’s too plain. The raised lettering might add some texture, but it doesn’t pop visually. The pale, nimbus white coloring is fine, I guess. But when combined with that pulpy horizontal pattern, the card looks like nothing less than a strip of toilet paper.

I do like how the card pops out of his metal carrying case at an angle, like a cigarette. But we’re judging the card on its own merits, not by its delivery mechanism.

3. David Van Patten (Bill Sage)

If we were judging by delivery mechanism, Bryce might have the edge. We don’t see how Van Patten’s card emerges. However, his delivery is quick enough that we can assume he didn’t extract it from some sort of cool sheath. The card itself does lose points right off the bat, though, because Bryce calls it “super” and “tasteful.” What the hell does that guy know?

Patrick muses that “I can’t believe that Bryce prefers Van Patten’s card to mine.” Once again, he’s right on the money. The man may be a cold-blooded murderer, but he’s got a killer eye. The eggshell coloring with Romalian type isn’t much better than Bryce’s card, for the most part. However, the font used for the phone number in the upper-left corner has a lot more flair. Plus, that pulpy pattern is more vertical here, and that makes a huge difference. The card looks more like a stucco wall than something you’d wipe your ass with.

2. Paul Allen (Jared Leto)

Now, this is the card that sends Bateman into a jealous rage. I don’t know if it’s quite worthy of that, but it’s certainly the best of his trio of competitors. And while I’m not trying to count presentation toward this ranking, there’s no denying the aura that Allen has. The BDE of people talking about his card when he’s not even in the room is undeniable. Allen doesn’t even need to throw his hat into the ring. Bateman asks to see his card. And Bryce pulls it out of his own pocket with trembling, reverential fingers.

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There’s a lot here that gets Patrick Bateman flying off the handle. “Subtle off-white coloring.” I’ll give you the coloring. I don’t know about subtle, though. It’s bold and practically glowing. But I like it! “Tasteful thickness.” I’ll have to take his word for it on the tastefulness, but who wants a thick business card? That sounds like a one-way ticket to a paper cut.

And then Bateman concludes by admiring its watermark, which I simply can’t abide. Watermarks have only ever made things more visually cluttered. Case in point: If you’ve ever searched for a generic photo on Google, you’ve probably already declared a blood feud against Alamy.

All in all, though, it’s a pretty good card! I love the detail that the information at the bottom is displayed in two rows. It makes it all much easier to parse. However, alongside the aforementioned demerits, Allen gets major points off for the pretentious dots between digits in his phone number.

1. Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale)

By picking Patrick Bateman’s card as my No. 1, I’m technically disagreeing with him. That’s how I can sleep at night.

I do like how he flips it casually out of his case, like a gunslinger. That doesn’t count, of course, but the card speaks for itself anyway. The bone coloring works well with the black Silian Rail lettering, making the overall effect less harsh on the eyes. And the embossed lettering gives it the visual texture that Bryce’s raised letters failed to achieve. I do think it’s a little disturbing how much margin there is on the card, though. It’s like the words are shrinking away from the edges. There’s too much negative space. However, there is a lot of flair in the font here. Those are some downright saucy serifs, on the phone number in particular. This card stands out among the crowd.

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Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to return some videotapes.

Brennan Klein is a millennial who knows way more about 80's slasher movies than he has any right to. He's a former host of the  Attack of the Queerwolf podcast and a current senior movie/TV news writer at Screen Rant. You can also find his full-length movie reviews on Alternate Ending and his personal blog Popcorn Culture. Follow him on Twitter or Letterboxd, if you feel like it.

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Editorials

Ten Years Later, ‘Green Room’ Feels More Relevant Than Ever

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This article contains spoilers for the film Green Room (2016)

In April, a 40 foot tall mural went up on the side of a building of a gay club in downtown Providence. It featured slain Ukrainian refugee Iryna Zarutska and was in the process of being installed by a local artist. The mural was part of an extensive “curation” project all across the United States, featuring this woman’s image, funded by alt-right leaders such as Elon Musk, Eoghan McCabe, and Andrew Tate. Suddenly, they do care about immigrants – if you’re the white kind.

Zarutska became a symbol for conservatives nationally when the video of her stabbing on public transportation in Charlotte, North Carolina, was released. Her assailant, Decarlos Brown Jr., who had a long criminal record and documented but untreated mental health issues, is a black man. Trump called for the immediate death penalty for him. Zarutska, as a result, became an opportunity for the far right to weaponize her tragedy, using her image as a racist dog whistle. Notably, North Carolina passed a law “in her honor” that shortens the timeline for capital punishment appeals and removes restrictions on the use of electrocution and lethal gas.

Providence, however, pushed back. Community members protested the mural. The club owners requested its removal. Mayor Brett Smiley condemned the project after its political backing became clear. In the end, it was decommissioned. The backlash, however, quickly attracted national attention and with it, right-wing outrage. Days later, a white nationalist group had a photo-op in front of the unfinished mural – in broad daylight. That’s right, this mural inspired neo-nazis to take selfies in front of a gay bar in Providence.

Why Green Room Feels More Relevant Than Ever

White supremacist movements have become increasingly visible and emboldened in the United States, encouraged by mainstream political rhetoric. These men infiltrate our communities and subcultures, using intimidation and spectacle to spread fear. Green Room confronts that reality head-on, portraying neo-Nazis not as caricatures, but as organized, violent, and disturbingly common. Nearly a decade later, Jeremy Saulnier’s claustrophobic thriller feels more relevant than ever, not only for its depiction of fascist violence, but for its understanding of how young men are drawn into these movements in the first place.

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Green Room is a nail-biting, contained setting horror-thriller set in the Pacific Northwest. The Ain’t Rights, a small punk band played by Alia Shawkat, Joe Cole, Callum Turner, and the late, great Anton Yelchin, struggling to make even their gas money back while performing, are arranged to play a show, unknowingly, at a bar in the woods run by skinheads. They open for a neo-nazi band, taunting the crowd with a cover of the Dead Kennedys’ “Nazi Punks Fuck Off.” Tensions escalate even further, however, when Yelchin’s character sees a dead woman, stabbed to death in the green room by one of the skin-heads playing the venue. This leads to an all-night fight for survival for the band, as they try to make it out of the venue alive.

A majority of the film involves a siege between the band, barricaded in the green room, and the skinhead leader Darcy, played menacingly by Sir Patrick Stewart, outside it with his army of neo-Nazis. As the reality of the situation escalates, and the negotiations go awry with Darcy and co., the band slowly realizes there is no reasoning with these men; they cannot be trusted. Soon these punks must use whatever items they have in the green room as a means to fight off the well-armed skinheads.

Jeremy Saulnier’s Neo-Nazis Are Terrifyingly Real

What makes Green Room’s portrayal of these Neo-Nazis all the more grounded and terrifying is that Saulnier portrays the group as organized, calculated, and incredibly dangerous. He avoids creating caricatures; they aren’t seen marching, nor is their ideology discussed through a spoon-feeding Netflix algorithm type of way. Of course, there are hints of their bigotry through lines of dialogue, but their terror is shown rather than explained.

Sir Patrick Stewart depicts Darcy as an organized, even-keeled businessman, using violence as a necessary means to clean up the situation (aka dispose of all the band members and make it appear like a trespassing gone awry.) He is deliberate, calm, and premeditated, as he uses his dedicated and loyal soldiers to reach his goals and maintain control.

The History of Nazi Punk and Hate Core Music

Hate Core or Nazi Punk is a hateful and bigoted subgenre of punk music that emerged in the 1970s in the United Kingdom and eventually made its way over to the United States in the 1980s. While skin-heads originally began as an English working-class movement, it eventually segmented and became co-opted by white nationalists.

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Early punk music often used symbols as shock value. Some would wear swastika arm-bands, and others might wear a hammer and sickle, using transgressive imagery to lean into the nihilism or anarchy of the music. By the 1980s, however, a division was apparent, and Nazi punks began using hardcore and punk music as a means to spread far-right ideologies and recruit listeners. While punk music thematically is predominantly anti-fascist, Hate Core uses the intensity, nihilism, and aggression of punk as a tool for fascist propaganda.

The contradiction is baffling. Nazi punks align themselves with music rife with anti-establishment themes, while also clinging to their conformity and blind obedience to their leaders. We see this in the film, as skinheads mosh to the Ain’t Rights in one scene, and obey Darcy’s every command in the next.

Green Room and the Recruitment of Young Men Into Extremism

Scholar Kevin Grether writes in “Heavy and Hateful: Growth of White Supremacy and Neo-Nazism in Skinhead Punk and Black Metal”: “Although [skin-head punk was not] explicitly political at its inception, fascist actors within them were able to take advantage of the social and economic situations of their peers in order to recruit them to their political cause. For skinheads, this was done primarily by Ian Stuart Donaldson and his connections with the National Front, who used their social and economic influence within the subculture (such as ownership of venues) to press party recruitment.”

Green Room does an exceptional job of demonstrating the recruitment of young men by these hate groups and their exploitation of them as a result. It is apparent that Darcy does not seem to care about the music that is played at his bar, but he understands it as a tool to lure more young men to his cause. (We later learn that the venue is a front for a heroin production lab.)

We witness two young recruits non-lethally stab one another and be detained in order to throw off the police from the current situation with the band. These young men do this without hesitation, sacrificing themselves in hopes of Darcy’s approval. Later, we witness two frightened young men, clumsily entering the green room as ordered by leadership to finish off whoever is left of the band.

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At all costs, they want to please their leader, Darcy. In an interview from 2016, Saulnier notes, “you gotta ask, not only what are [they] fighting for but who are [they] fighting for? Because it seems to be that these young skinheads…aren’t really benefiting from this battle.”

The Modern Manosphere and the Appeal of Extremist Masculinity

Similar tactics of recruitment are currently prevalent in the new, rising “manosphere”, as more young men gravitate toward internet personas and politicians that espouse a kind of masculinity rooted in misogyny, racism, and homophobia. These men prey on the male loneliness epidemic, which is a sharp increase in reported isolation, lack of close friendships, and social disconnection among men in the United States. This manosphere normalizes gender-based violence, racism, and other extremist, bigoted ideologies, united under the belief that men are victims of social change.

These movements create a false sense of community for men, rooted in antagonism, that only really serves those in leadership (like the fictional Darcy or the very real Andrew Tate.) As a result, these movements create further division and danger for us all, while a few men at the top reap the benefits. As the language of these movements permeates mainstream culture and seeps into online forums and media, it is important for us to not only understand why they appeal to young men, but also how to intervene.

Green Room’s Ending and the Fragility of Fascist Power

At the end of Green Room, Yelchin’s character Pat has Darcy at gunpoint. He says to him, “It’s funny. You were so scary at night.” In an almost anti-climax, Darcy turns his back to Pat and power walks away in cowardice. Pat and other lone-survivor Amber shoot him in the back, killing him.

As I initially looked at the photo of the white nationalists posing in front of that unfinished mural in Providence, the image inspired the same fear Saulnier captures so well: organized hatred displayed openly and without shame. But then, I noticed the masks. I noticed how few of them there are. Like Darcy, their power depends on spectacle, numbers, and intimidation. Strip that away, and what remains are just frightened men desperately clinging to power.

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That does not make them harmless; it makes them perceivable and interruptible. As Saulnier depicts the inner operations of a neo-Nazi group, he shows us how hatred can be furthered and codified. It is imperative that we remember that operation in order to undo it. If these movements recruit through isolation, fear, and false belonging, then resistance cannot rely solely on condemnation. It also requires intervention. Stronger community structures and programs that teach healthier models of masculinity, and spaces where young men can find identity without bigotry are critical.

Why Green Room Still Resonates 10 Years Later

On its 10 year anniversary, Green Room remains terrifying because it recognizes fascism not as parodically evil, but as something tragically ordinary. It also remains incredibly pertinent as we look at the current rise of alt-right and fascist movements and try to understand how such hatred can become so pervasive.

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Editorials

The 10 Scariest Horror Movie Cars

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Things instantly got complicated when I sat down to think about the 10 scariest horror movie cars. When the topic comes up, a bunch of movies leap to mind. But what makes a car scary? Is it how it looks? What it does? What happens inside it? I already knew I wanted to limit the number of “killer car” movies. It wouldn’t be interesting if this was just a numbing list of obvious titles like Christine and The Car. However, as I sifted through horror history for the best examples, I realized I had to do something drastic.

Top 10 Scariest Horror Movie Cars

So this is actually more like two interwoven Top 5 lists. I’ll be swapping between two themes. The first is “Scary on the Inside,” AKA cars you wouldn’t want to be stuck in. Then there’s “Scary on the Outside.” You know, cars that you wouldn’t want to see pull up behind you in a dark parking lot. These are incredibly different, but equally vital vibes. Without any further ado, let’s put the pedal to the metal and get going.

#10 INSIDE: The Luxury SUV, Locked (2025)

Locked is the third international remake of the 2019 Argentinian film 4×4. Consider this entry a nod to all four movies, because woof. The story follows a luxury SUV becoming a battleground when a petty thief gets locked inside. And then subsequently tortured by an even pettier Jigsaw-esque sadist with a remote control and a score to settle. No fun! I mean, I have a hard enough time sitting through a car ride when the radio is too loud.

#9 OUTSIDE: The Grabber’s Van, The Black Phone (2022)

The ultimate nightmare for any suburban kid is the windowless white van. But the Grabber’s got a flair for aesthetically maxing out the creepiness of whatever he does. So this black, magician-themed van driven by a masked, behatted kidnapper in The Black Phone is somehow even worse.

#8 INSIDE: Amelia’s Car, The Babadook (2014)

The Babadook is famously a movie about how tough it is to deal with grief and single parenthood simultaneously. Never do those twin tasks feel more crushing than during Noah’s backseat meltdown. Screaming, crying, kicking, all while his mother is trying not to drive the car straight into a tree. I’d rather fling myself directly into the Babadook’s loving arms than be riding shotgun in that moment.

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#7 OUTSIDE: The Highway Trucks, Pet Sematary (1989)

Those trucks constantly barreling down the highway that borders the Creed family’s lawn might be Stephen King’s most alarming creations.

#6 INSIDE: The Monster-Safe Car, Bird Box (2018)

I’ve gone on record about how Bird Box seems to affect me more than the average viewer. However, who could possibly bear having to drive down a street full of unknown obstacles with completely blacked-out windows? Knowing that if you break down, you’ll have to fumble blindfolded through those same obstacles to find safety? Those “see me and die” monsters sure make running errands inconvenient. And terrifying.

#5 OUTSIDE: The Truck, Duel (1971)

Of all the “killer car/driver” road thriller movies, Steven Spielberg’s Duel remains the high-water mark. Much of this is spurred by the design of the tanker truck chasing Dennis Weaver through the desert. It is impossibly large and bestial, with windows so grimy and opaque that you’re half certain it’s driving itself.

#4 INSIDE: The Cop Car, Scream 2 (1997)

The fact that the back doors of cop cars can’t be opened from the inside is sinister enough. Put a potentially-not-as-knocked-out-as-he-seems Ghostface in the front seat, and that’s one car I wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole.

#3 OUTSIDE: The TSA Car, Get Out (2017)

Thankfully, Rod’s car at the end of Get Out is only scary at first. But I’ll never forget the audience’s collective held breath when those lights flashed on Chris’ face at the end. The thing that’s scary about this one is that it could have been a cop car. In Chris’ situation, the only thing worse than a Ghostface in the front seat would be an actual cop.

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#2 INSIDE: Stuntman Mike’s Car, Death Proof (2007)

When you’re being targeted by a serial killer, you’re going to have a bad day no matter what. But there’s something even more potent and scary about Stuntman Mike’s M.O. Killing passengers by crashing his car (which is only safe for the driver) is violent in an especially reckless manner. It’s completely uncontrollable, and even more alarming for it. There’s nowhere to run, after all.

#1 OUTSIDE: The Log Truck, Final Destination 2 (2003)

This movie opens with minutes and minutes of outrageous, bloody highway pileup mayhem. However, whenever you bring up Final Destination 2, the first thing that springs to anyone’s mind is the log truck. The Final Destination franchise has always banked on getting under your skin by embracing relatable fears. It’s a cinematic phobia that taps into something undeniably real, and there ain’t nothing scarier than reality!

INSIDE Honorable Mentions: Spree (2020), Cujo (1983)

OUTSIDE Honorable Mentions: Joy Ride (2001), Maximum Overdrive (1986), The Hearse (1980), The Car (1977), Christine (1983)

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